Match Penalty (Seattle Serpents #6)

Chapter 1

KELLER

Lawson: Still meeting at Top Shelf tonight to ring in the New Year, right?

Lawson: Just say yes, or I swear I’ll cry.

Hayes: I kind of think I’d like to see that.

Hayes: You crying, just so we’re clear.

Hutch: I have. It’s not pretty. You’re better off just agreeing to whatever it is he’s trying to cook up.

Fox: Aww. Why’d you cry, buddy?

Locke: I’m guessing it was one of the times Keller was mean to him.

Me: I’m not mean. I just say what everyone else is thinking.

Lawson: In the worst way possible.

Lawson: And no, Keller did NOT make me cry.

Hutch: It was at his brother’s wedding. Dude was slinging snot all over the place and everything.

Lawson: That’s because weddings are beautiful. You’re just cold-hearted!

Hutch: I am not. I cry.

Lawson: Oh, really? Name one time.

Hutch: Uh, when my BABY was born.

Lawson: Ha ha what a loser!

Hayes: Shit, Hutchy. That’s kind of sweet.

Fox: Awww

Locke: I mean, how could you not? She’s adorable.

Lawson: WAIT

Lawson: WTF

Lawson: You guys really aren’t going to make fun of him for CRYING?!?!

Locke: Nah

Hayes: No, dude. His girl just had his freakin’ BABY.

Fox: I would never!

Lawson: Keller? Anything?

Me: I got nothing. Like Hayesy said, he had a baby. Tears are expected.

Lawson: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL

Lawson: If Daisy had a baby and I cried, I would NEVER hear the end of it!

Me: That’s because Daisy is your DOG. Why would you cry??

Lawson: Because it’s beautiful! Just like Jacob’s wedding, which is why I cried. Do you know how much of a love-hater that guy was before he met his wife? And how now he’s all sappy and in love and shit? It’s romantic as fuck.

Hayes: He was pretty bad.

Hutch: Worse than Keller?

Hayes: Is ANYONE worse than Keller?

Locke: Yeah, not sure that’s possible.

Fox: Come on, guys. Kells isn’t that bad.

Lawson: Foxy Baby, I love you, but you’re full of shit.

Fox: I love you, too, buddy.

Hayes: Yeah, sorry, but you’re delusional if you think that. He’s very clearly that bad.

Locke: Didn’t he block us all on Christmas because he didn’t want to see our family photos?

Hutch: To be fair, I think that was because Lawsy wouldn’t stop sending pictures of all twenty of his dogs in pajamas.

Lawson: It’s not twenty! I only have three…and one cat, though Hades is technically Rory’s. He hates me.

Lawson: And those matching pajamas were fucking adorable! Rory and I had them on, too. She even cracked a smile in one photo!

Lawson: He blocked us because he’s sad he’s the only single guy in the Serpents Singles Club now.

Me: He’s also in this godforsaken group chat and can see you assholes talking about him.

Me: And he’s not sad. He just doesn’t have the patience for anyone else’s bullshit.

Lawson: Soooo…you’re jealous.

Me: The fuck I am.

Lawson: J-E-A-L-O-U-S

Me: Congrats. You can spell. Want a sandwich?

Lawson: A sandwich? Aren’t you supposed to offer me a cookie?

Me: A knuckle cookie doesn’t sound nearly as appealing as a knuckle sandwich.

Lawson: See? All he does is resort to violence. I bet it’s all that pent-up rage he has because he’s jealous we’re all happy and in love, and he’s probably sitting on his couch like some lonely loser with nobody to hang out with on New Year’s Eve.

Hutch: Whoa

Hayes: Damn, Lawsy. You’re brave.

Lawson: Brave or just honest?

Locke: Definitely brave.

Fox: Or dumb.

Lawson: Hey, what the fuck, man?

Fox: Sorry, but you’re on your own with this one. Messing with Keller is like unleashing a barely restrained rabid dog.

Me: Thanks, Foxy. That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.

Me: As for you, Lawsy, you can go fuck yourself.

Lawson: Oh, so YOU can be honest, but I can’t? How is that fair?

Me: Life isn’t fair.

Lawson: You’re the worst.

Lawson: Are you coming to the damn party or not?

Fox: Lilah and I are in.

Hutch: We’ll be there.

Locke: Yeah, man, wouldn’t miss it.

Hayes: Quinn is more than ready to let loose after this semester, so we’ll definitely be there.

Lawson: …Keller?

Me: What?

Lawson: *eye roll emoji*

Lawson: Are you coming to Top Shelf, or are you going to sulk alone all night while we have fun?

Me: Why should I?

Lawson: You shouldn’t. I don’t care what you do.

Me: Then fine. I won’t go.

Lawson: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BUTTHOLE RIGHT NOW

Fox: …butthole?

Hutch: I won’t lie, I laughed.

Hayes: I did too.

Locke: We’re all a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

Lawson: Except you. You’re still an old man, Lockey Poo.

Locke: I swear I’ll rescind my RSVP.

Lawson: Noooooooooooo

Lawson: I take it back. You’re not old, even if you do sound extra old saying shit like “rescind.” Nope. You’re not old at all.

Hayes: I could hear the sarcasm dripping from every word.

Locke: Me fucking too.

Lawson: Who? Me? Never!

Locke: Keep it up, Lawsy. It’ll just be you, Keller, and that knuckle sandwich tonight.

Lawson: Rory will be there too, so I’m cool with that.

Me: Jesus fuck. Please don’t start with all that lovey-dovey shit. My stomach can’t handle that and tequila shots tonight.

Lawson: Then we’ll hold the shots.

Lawson: And also, that means you’re coming. NO TAKEBACKS!

Lawson: See you all at 10! Don’t be late or I’ll cry.

Hutch: What is with you and crying today?

Lawson: Just don’t be late, Hutchy. Okay? Okay. I love you guys. Bye.

Me: Does anyone else wish Lawson was never traded to the Seattle Serpents?

Hayes: Bro, we’re number two in the Pacific right now. Absolutely not.

Hutch: He’s annoying as hell, but no.

Fox: Do you really want me to answer that?

Locke: He’s a fucking champ on the faceoff dot AND he’s on pace to score 50 goals this year. Think it’s safe to say he’s an asset.

Lawson: OMG I knew you guys loved me. I KNEW IT.

Me: Whoa. Calm down. Nobody ever said that.

Lawson: You didn’t have to. I can FEEL it.

Me: Like you’re going to FEEL my fist in your face later, right?

Lawson: I’m gonna kiss those knuckles, Kells. Right at midnight.

Me: Touch me and die.

Lawson: Then I welcome death.

“Fuck me,” I grumble, tossing my phone onto the cushion next to me as it continues to vibrate with incoming texts, most likely from Lawson.

I swear, that guy never knows when to shut up, which would explain the yellow-green bruise I’m rocking after sticking up for him in our win over Vegas last week.

I don’t mind it. I love fighting. It makes me feel like I’m actually useful and not just a body keeping the bench warm.

Because let’s face it—I am not a superstar.

I’m that guy they send out when they need to get some energy into the team.

I’m the one with grit, the guy who sacrifices his body to block shots and get the more skilled players in a better shooting position.

And I’m okay with that. I’ve accepted my role. I love it.

What I don’t love? Filing into a crowded-as-hell bar on New Year’s Eve and throwing back shots of tequila when we’re in the middle of the season.

Is it better than staying home and falling asleep before midnight?

No, absolutely not, and I refuse to pretend otherwise.

But am I going to go anyway? Un-fucking-fortunately.

I wish I could say it’s solely because Lawson will annoy me to death if I don’t, but that’s not true.

Lucas Lawson is going to do that no matter what.

That’s just who he is, which I’ve come to accept over the last few years we’ve been teammates on the Seattle Serpents, and even more so since he forced me to join his ridiculous “Serpents Singles Club.” The name is comical now, really.

It began as a promise for all of us to stay single until we hoisted the Cup, but since that’s all been blown to shit with everyone being in committed relationships, we’re just a bunch of guys who like hanging out together.

Not that I’d ever admit that out loud, of course.

Just like I’d never admit the real reason I’m going out to join my teammates is I don’t want to sit on the couch and let the onslaught of horrible memories do a fucking jig in my head all night long.

New Year’s Eve is the worst day of the year—hands down, no questions asked.

It’s the day everything changed. The day I changed. The day we changed.

I fucking hate today.

I grab the controller I abandoned when my phone started blowing up the first time and focus my mind on taking out demons with my chainsaw shield.

While it’s not the best use of my time, it’s better than letting the memories of what once was seep into my head.

I can’t let that happen. I can’t let them plant themselves, and I definitely can’t water them with my attention.

It only leads to more of the same shit I’ve been living with for the last three years—heartbreak.

Eventually, my phone calms down, and so does my mind. For the next two hours, I think of nothing but taking out this demon king and being the scariest thing in all of hell. It’s not until Percy yells at me from across my apartment that I realize how long has passed.

“What’s up, little man?” I ask as the three-legged cat jumps onto the couch, his tail smacking me right in the face. If it weren’t for the two asymmetrical patches of black around his eyes, he would be all-white.

He turns, then nuzzles his face against my chin per usual. It’s his go-to move when he senses I’m about to leave him.

“It’s just for a few hours,” I say. “I won’t be out all night. I promise.”

He presses his head against me harder, almost like he’s saying, Okay, I believe you…but just this once.

I chuckle lowly. “All right. You’ve convinced me. Five more minutes of snuggles, then I have to get ready. Apparently, your uncle Lucas—whom you’ve never met but have heard me bitch about plenty—is demanding I show up for New Year’s Eve festivities.”

Meow.

“I know. Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me, too.”

Meow.