Chapter 2
CHLOE
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Oh, no, of course not.”
I force a smile because I do mind. I mind a lot. Going to a random bar on New Year’s Eve sounds like my worst nightmare, but if I want a full-time writing gig at Seattle Daily, I need to learn to suck it up and play nice.
I can hear my mother’s words from our call earlier still ringing in my head.
“I thought this was what you wanted, Chloe. It’s why you gave up on the biology degree your father and I paid for. You wanted to be a writer, didn’t you? Well, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for what you want.”
And don’t I know that better than anyone.
Even though my mother has never truly supported my decision to be a writer, she is right about this. I did ask for this career, and I gave up a hell of a lot for it, too. So I’m going to do the damn thing, even when I don’t want to.
Besides, getting the job will mean my name on the byline every day, a massive pay raise—which I desperately need—and they’ll cover the relocation costs. On paper, it’s the ideal job for me and everything I’ve been working toward, but I’m still on the fence about it.
I try to tell myself it’s most definitely not because Dirk has paid a little too much attention to the way my dress hugs my breasts, but that would be a lie. It absolutely factors in.
For the third time, I curse myself for not insisting on taking an Uber, all because I’m trying to save money on this trip that I’m not even sure will pan out.
I guess that’s what I get for giving up my steady job as a lab technician and trading it for the tumultuous path of a freelance writer.
Sure, I had a big surge and got good money from the two viral articles I wrote about navigating life after making bold decisions, but that’s long gone.
Now I’m banking on this offer from Seattle Daily going through so I can figure out my next move before the rest of my meager wages vanishes.
“You’re going to love this place,” Dirk says. “The perfect vibes.” He grins at me from the driver’s seat of his Volkswagen sedan, which could use a wash and vacuum, the red from the stoplight we’re at casting an almost eerie glow over his face.
The light changes to green, and the second he turns his attention back to the road, I drop my fake smile and sag lower in my seat while he navigates the rainy streets of downtown Seattle.
My phone buzzes in my purse, no doubt a text from my best friend, Talia, checking in for the day, but I ignore it in an attempt to remain professional.
I try to relax as best I can with music I don’t recognize playing softly in the background, watching as we pass tall buildings and various businesses, all packed with people out celebrating the holiday.
Once upon a time, that was me, too. I loved New Year’s Eve more than any other day of the year, even Christmas, which just sounds ridiculous.
I would drag everyone I knew out to a party or throw one myself.
It meant far more to me than opening expensive gifts or stuffing my face with too much food.
It was a chance for something new, something fresh, and that was what I loved about it—the opportunity to begin again.
I really wanted to begin again, especially three years ago when I officially stopped celebrating the holiday.
“All good?” Dirk’s words break through the trip down memory lane my brain is trying to take, and I’m grateful for it. The last thing I want is to spend this night reminiscing when I’m supposed to be focused on my future.
I give my head a shake. “Yes, sorry. Just…taking in the city.”
“I get that.” He nods. “It can be overwhelming to a newcomer. You said this is your first time in Seattle, right?”
“Yes.”
There was a time this was supposed to be my new home, but I try not to think about that now.
“It’s a fun place,” Dirk continues. “I love it. And don’t worry—you’ll get used to the rain.
It’s not like it’s a torrential downpour or anything.
Just light and nearly constant half the year.
Parking is a shitshow everywhere you go, though, so we’ll have to hoof it the rest of the way.
” He pulls the car to the curb as another drives away, then flicks his chin toward the street as he shuts the engine off.
“If we hurry, we should make it in time to grab a drink before midnight.”
The words might sound innocent, but I hear the impatience in his tone, and I put my hand on the door handle. I’m eager to get inside, too, but for different reasons. I want this night to be over so I can go back to my hotel, fill that gorgeous tub in my room, then sleep for a solid ten hours.
“Careful!” he yells as I push it open, and the warning comes just in time for me to yank it closed again as a car doing well over the speed limit goes sailing by us.
I give him a small smile. “Oops. Sorry again.”
“Chloe…” He laughs lightly, but there’s a tenseness to it that’s hard to miss. “People here drive like morons and think the speed limit is about fifteen miles per hour over what is posted. You’ll get used to that too, but you have to be careful, okay?”
I don’t point out that he was also one of those morons on the drive over here, and this time, I make sure to check my mirror before exiting the car.
I meet him on the sidewalk, where he offers me his arm.
I pay no attention to the shake to my hand as I take it, linking us together as we quickly make our way to the bar he’s so hellbent on going to.
“It’s awesome. And they have the best drink specials, which the boss will appreciate since it’s on his dime.”
That was his pitch to get me to agree as he flashed me the business credit card for the third time tonight, and since I foolishly allowed him to pick me up from my hotel, I felt like I couldn’t say no.
“We don’t have to stay long,” he promises as we hurry along. “But we can if you want.”
He tosses me a wink, and I tell myself he’s not flirting with me, just being polite.
We show our IDs to the security standing outside, and I wish silently that he’ll find a reason to turn us away. It doesn’t happen, and Dirk pulls the door open. Loud music spills onto the sidewalk, and for the hundredth time tonight, I wish I had insisted on him dropping me back at the hotel.
“Oh, I should have mentioned,” he yells over the music as we step inside, “this is a sports bar, hockey mostly. The Seattle Serpents hang out here often. Maybe we’ll get lucky and spot one or two of the players tonight.”
It’s the last thing he says before we are engulfed by the bass and the crowd, and an overwhelming sense of dread pools low in my belly.
When Seattle Daily came knocking on my door, I was more than happy to hear them out, and it wasn’t just because they pay so damn well.
It was because I had a mission in Seattle. I had a history I needed to face.
A person. The person.
And I planned to…eventually. Just not tonight. I wanted time to settle in. I wanted a chance to sort out what it is I need to say, even if I have had years to do it.
He’s not here, Chloe. He can’t be. I’m sure he has other plans, grander plans.
Still, my eyes dart all over the bar, taking in what must be two dozen TVs hanging on the walls, the sports memorabilia taking up the rest of the space, and the people. Definitely the people. Because as much as I tell myself I’m not looking for him, I am.
If Talia were here, she’d give me a knowing look, then remind me for the hundredth time how important it is that I face my fears.
I’d likely flip her off and order a double shot of booze, but I’m not much in the mood for drinking right now.
Not with the way my stomach is doing somersaults at the idea that I could very well be in the same room as the one person who is capable of undoing me.
“Thirsty?” Dirk says in my ear, and I nearly jump out of my skin at how close he suddenly is. “Shit. Did I scare you?”
He grins down at me, and I return the gesture, though I have no doubt it’s wobbly. “Maybe a little.”
“My bad.” He laughs, obviously not noticing how uncomfortable I am. “It’s loud in here, huh?”
I nod. “Very.”
“Nothing a stiff drink can’t fix.”
Another wink, and I force myself to laugh as he pulls me toward the bar.
The whole trek, my body is humming, and it has nothing to do with the bass overpowering the small space.
It’s something else I can’t quite place my finger on, but whatever it is, it has me on edge in a way I haven’t been in a long time.
Not since…
I shove that thought away just as quickly as it enters my mind and focus on making my way through the throngs of bodies and trying not to step on anyone’s toes.
We force our way to the bar, and I’m relieved when he finally drops my arm, only to rest his hand on my lower back.
I try to move away from his touch as subtly as I can, but he just steps closer.
Dirk huffs when his attempt to flag down the bartender goes unnoticed. “I swear it’s never like this,” he explains. “Must be the holiday.”
A busy bar on New Year’s Eve. Who would have thought?
But I don’t say that out loud. Instead, I let my eyes roam again, holding my breath for…well, I’m not even sure what it is I’m waiting for. All I know is I can’t seem to shake the feeling that someone is watching me.
Of course someone is watching you. It’s a packed bar. People are drunk and have no boundaries. It’s expected, Chloe. Just focus on what’s happening in front of you.
Still, the thought doesn’t comfort me, and I force myself to let it go as the bartender makes their way over to us.
“Finally,” Dirk snaps. “I’ll have a whiskey on the rocks, whatever is on special tonight, and the lady here will take a white wine.”
“Actually, I’ll have a Diet Coke, please.”
“Really?” Dirk’s brows pull together. “I thought you wanted to get a drink.”
No, you wanted to get a drink, I want to remind him.
“I’m, uh, still full from dinner. Not sure a drink would be a good idea right now.”