Chapter 14
KELLER
I’ve always hated road games for as long as I can remember. I hate hotels, I hate sitting on planes, and I hate trying to coordinate everything else in my life around them.
That hasn’t changed in all my years playing hockey, and now that we’re on the last leg of a nine-day trip, I am more than ready to get this final game over with and go home.
Sure, it’s not like Chloe will be there waiting for me in my apartment, but at least she’ll be a lot closer than she is now, and that’ll have to do.
Despite how heavy the last night we spent together was, the next morning, it almost felt like it had before. Almost.
Usually, we’d spend the last few hours in bed, me buried between her legs, but that wasn’t the case this time.
Instead, we had coffee at the table while I explained to her how to get Percy to take his meds with the least possible chance of bodily harm.
Then I kissed her—without asking permission this time—and I left.
I had hoped we would talk while I was gone, but I didn’t expect to be spending so much time on the phone with her.
“How was the morning skate?” she asks after we get our daily Percy chat out of the way.
My pet sitter ended up being sicker than she thought, so I told her to take this road trip off with pay, and she was more than happy to do so. Luckily, Chloe didn’t mind stepping in and taking care of the cat full-time. I was glad to have her there…and to have a reason to talk to her.
Our calls started because of him, but they soon blossomed into more, which turned into texting, too. Aside from sleeping and games, I’m not sure we’ve gone more than a few hours without talking.
“Not bad. We’ll need to move a little quicker if we want to beat the Carolina Comets, though. They’re too damn good on the puck. They never sit back, so that means we’ll need to think faster.”
“Isn’t that the team Lawson’s brother plays for?”
I’m surprised she knows that. “Did Lawson tell you that?”
“Yes, but so did Wikipedia.”
I chuckle. “That’s fair. Wait, what does Wikipedia say about me?”
“Nothing I don’t already know. Though interestingly enough, it mentions nothing about us.”
“Hmm,” I say, though I’m not entirely shocked by that. I’ve never been interested in sharing personal details and always try to keep interviews about hockey or keep my answers light enough that people aren’t asking follow-up questions.
“I’m guessing that’s why your teammates never knew you were…”
She doesn’t say the word married, and I try not to read too much into that.
“Probably. Though I expected Lawson to do a deep dive and find it out. He’s nosy as hell.”
“I don’t think he’s that bad. He’s clearly smitten with you.”
“He would be smitten with a damn banana if it gave him enough attention.”
She laughs loudly, and I hear her clamp her hand over her mouth. “Oops. I definitely got stares for that one.”
Stares? Is she not at her hotel?
“Where are you?” I realize quickly I’m not automatically privy to that information anymore and backtrack on my question. “I mean, if you want to tell me, of course.”
“I’m at The Coffee Spot. I’m meeting Auden and Lilah for lunch.”
It’s the last thing I expected her to say. “Oh?”
“I know, I know. Me, hanging with WAGs—can you believe it? But they were so nice that night at your game and when we went out, so…” I picture her shrugging. “I don’t know. We kept in touch, and they invited me out today.”
Her words ease a worry I hadn’t realized I was carrying around. I’m glad she has someone there for her. She needs it.
“That is okay, right?”
Her words snap me out of my head. “What? Yeah, of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know…because this is your world and not mine? I don’t want to step on any toes.”
I want to tell her it’s her world too and always has been, but that’s not exactly true. Sure, she cheered me on at my games and went to a handful of stuffy events with me, but she was never really in my world.
And I think that might be my fault. After what happened in college, when people would treat her like trash just because she wasn’t who they thought I should be dating, she took a step back.
I allowed that. Yes, I reassured her that I loved her no matter what, but maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe she needed more.
Is that the reason she left? Because she didn’t feel like she belonged? I don’t know, and I want to ask, but things are just starting to feel right with us again, and dredging up the past isn’t what I want to do right now.
“My toes are fine, thanks. Though if you had a foot kink, you could have told me.”
She lets out another loud laugh and says, “Shut up.”
It makes me grin. That’s normal. That’s right.
“So are you ladies just grabbing coffee or doing something else too?”
She doesn’t answer straightaway, and I wish it didn’t set me as on edge as it does. Will it always be like this? Will I always be waiting for that other shoe to drop? Will I always be waiting for her to run?
“Just coffee, but afterward I have…an interview.”
I stop breathing.
I wait.
“Callum?”
“Where?”
“Sorry?”
I clear my throat. “Where is your interview?”
“Here. In Seattle. It’s, uh, it’s for a paper.
I’m not entirely sure it’s in my wheelhouse since they mainly focus on sports, but apparently the owner wants to expand and mix in more lifestyle articles.
He thinks I’ll be a good fit to possibly run the editorial department for it, so I’m going to hear him out. ”
Holy shit. Could she…could she stay in Seattle? Could she build a life here? Could she come back to me after all?
“Cool,” I say, trying to keep my composure and not let myself get too excited. I have no idea if I’m even a thought in all of this. I’m probably getting way ahead of myself.
Still…the idea of having Chloe so close again…of being able to see her before, during, and after games…having her to myself on off days… Fuck, the whole thing sends a rush of excitement through me.
When she doesn’t say anything, I worry maybe I’m being too chill about the whole thing.
“Are you still there?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just…thinking.”
Fuck. She sounds off.
“I think what I should have said is, That’s amazing, and I agree that you’ll be a good fit. This is really great news, and I’m proud of you, Clover.” I pause. “Is that better?”
“Yes.” This time, I can hear the smile in her voice. “But the first answer was okay, too. Truly. You don’t owe me anything, Callum. Not after…”
I want to say she doesn’t need to keep blaming herself like that, tell her perhaps her leaving had something to do with me, too, even if she says it doesn’t, but she speaks before I’m able to.
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be napping right now?”
I check the time on the bedside clock. Normally, this would be my nap time, but I gave that up a while ago.
“My, uh, pre-game routine has…changed a little.”
Truthfully, it didn’t feel the same after she left, especially not when the routine typically included her, and since I wanted to get as far away from all reminders of her as possible, I changed it. I guess, given where the Seattle Serpents are at now, it might not have been such a bad idea.
Chloe is quiet on the other end of the line, so quiet I start to question if we lost connection, but then she speaks.
“Can you tell me about it? Your new routine, I mean.”
I grin, even though she can’t see me. “You want to hear about my pre-game routine?”
“Yes.”
She never had to ask about it before, having been there for it since college.
“Okay,” I tell her, wiggling down in the hotel room bed more. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
I smile. “Well, it starts with a bit of meditation.”
“Shut up.”
There are those words again.
My grin grows wider. “I swear it’s true. Can you believe it?”
“No.” She laughs. “You drop the gloves far too often to be a person who meditates regularly.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “All right, that’s fair. Okay, so maybe I don’t meditate. But I do like sitting in silence for a bit, then I put on my headphones and blast all that screamy music you hate.”
“I just don’t get it. How the hell do you understand what they’re saying?”
“Then I usually have a plate or two of pasta,” I continue, thinking of all the times she used to complain about my music tastes, not that hers are any better, usually putting on some bubblegum pop that I can’t stand.
“Then I’ll do a quick two miles on the treadmill, then three to five on the stationary, whatever I’m feeling that day. ”
“You really lost me at all that cardio,” she says. “Hmm. So no nap?”
Curling up with her used to be my favorite thing, but after she left, nothing I tried felt right, so I gave up the naps completely.
“Not anymore.”
“That’s a shame. I miss taking naps.”
I miss taking naps with you.
I don’t give that thought a voice and instead change the subject.
“When is your coffee date?”
“Right now, actually. I can see Auden and Lilah walking toward the shop.”
My shoulders deflate. I’m not ready to let her go. I want to keep talking to her, even if it’s about boring stuff like my pre-game routine, which could probably use a little work. Honestly, I’ll read her a grocery receipt if it means we’re talking.
“I’d better let you go.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
She sounds sad, and it comforts me knowing she doesn’t want to get off the phone either.
“Oh!” she says. “Percy keeps pawing at the spare room door, and since I’m not trying to snoop around your apartment, I haven’t opened it for him. Should I?”
I think about what’s hidden behind the door that was intentionally closed before I left, despite Percy’s pleas for me not to. It’s not that I don’t trust Chloe in my home when I’m not there. I just don’t want to answer all the hundreds of questions I’m sure she’ll have if she enters that space.
“Uh…no. He’ll be fine until I get home.”