Chapter 16 #4
“Yeah, and you’re my fucking wife, too, and my wife is not going to stay in some run-down, shady-as-hell hotel.
” I take a step toward her, leaning in closer.
“Now, give me your damn keys before I break down every door in this godforsaken place until I find your room. And trust me, Clover, I’ll do it. You know I will.”
She stares up at me with wide eyes, and because I know her so well, I know she’s debating telling me to fuck off. It’s right there on the tip of her tongue, and if I’m being honest, I almost want her to say it. Then I’ll have an excuse to hit something, and I really want to right now.
I can’t believe she’s been staying here. I figured she was someplace much nicer than this, or else I would have insisted she stay at my place while I was on the road.
Picturing her here makes my stomach sour.
Have these people been harassing her? Has she felt secure for even a moment?
Does she often stay in areas like this? And how bad of a husband am I for not knowing the answer to that?
We might not have talked often while she was gone, but when we did, she always reassured me that she was being safe, and I trusted her. Maybe I shouldn’t have.
After several tense moments, she relaxes, and I know I’ve won. It doesn’t absolve me of the guilt, but at least I’ll know she’s someplace safe tonight.
“Fine,” she says. “I’ll go with you.”
She holds the keys out to me, and I snatch them away before she can change her mind.
“Thank you. Now, which room is yours?”
She opens her mouth to tell me, but I shake my head.
“Not out loud. Show me, Clover.”
She nods in understanding and leads us up to the third floor.
If I thought the lobby was rough, it’s nothing compared to the rest of the areas.
There are doors that can’t even close all the way, held in place by a chain, and more than one room has piles of trash sitting outside.
There’s a housekeeper’s cart, but given the state of the hotel, I’m not sure it’s ever been used.
We’re in and out of her room in a flash, then we stop at the front desk. After having to ring the bell three times to wake the old lady up, we get Chloe checked out early, and then we’re on our way back to my apartment, her measly two bags of luggage in my hands.
“What the hell were you doing there?” I ask once I’ve calmed down a bit. “That place was a shithole.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” she says quietly, but she can’t even keep up the pretense.
“All right, so it was. But I don’t know.
I was trying to save some money. I wasn’t sure when I’d get my next paycheck, hence the whole me-applying-for-a-job-with-a-paper thing.
I was looking for something a bit steadier than freelance. ”
“What about the money I send you every month?”
When she doesn’t answer, I look over at her. Her gaze is trained on the ground, and I already know her answer is just going to piss me off more.
“You are getting the money, aren’t you?”
She nods. “I’m getting the money.”
“Okay, and what? I mean, it’s okay if you’re blowing through it. I know you’re traveling a lot, so it would make sense. But if that’s the case, all you had to do was ask for more, and I would have gladly sent it. You know that, right?”
“I know,” she says quietly. “I, uh…” She scratches at her nose. “It’s not that I was running out of your money. I was running out of mine.”
“But…my money is your money. It always has been. That didn’t change just because…”
You left, I want to say, but I leave the words unfinished.
“I know. But… Ugh, I don’t know, Callum. I just didn’t feel right spending it, okay? I left you. I walked out with a promise to come back, and I didn’t. And still, you took care of me. You sent me money and cards and gifts, and I…I…I just couldn’t do it. I-I’m s-sorry.”
She’s crying, and right there in the middle of a busy Seattle sidewalk, I drop the bags and gather her in my arms.
“Hey, hey,” I say softly, stroking her back.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry.
I get it, all right? I get it.” I pull back, running my fingers over her cheeks to wipe away the tears streaking down them.
“I get it. I’m sorry I got upset. I just…
Shit, I wanted to take care of you, that’s all.
I love you, and you’re my wife. It only felt right to be helping you in some way. Do you know what I’m saying?”
She nods. “I do. I understand, and I appreciate it. I truly do. I just needed to do it on my own terms. I needed to do it alone.”
I want to scream and tell her she wasn’t alone, I was always there, always in her corner, even when I was mad at her, but it’s been a long day. Hell, it’s been a long three years, and I’m tired. All I want to do is take her back to my apartment and hold her. That’s it.
“Come on,” I say, pressing a kiss to her forehead before releasing her. I grab her suitcases, one in each hand, and nod in the direction of my building. “We’re this way.”
I lead her back to my apartment, and after ordering a pizza and devouring the entire thing, we crawl into my bed, and I hold her the rest of the night. It doesn’t make up for everything I want to say to her, but it’s all I can give her right now.
We’ll deal with the rest later.