26. Chapter 26
Javenia sat in Hazelwood’s small sitting room, her list in hand.
Someday, she hoped the memories connected to it would not haunt her like they did now.
Maybe she’d be able to smile about the slip on her chair that had made her grab Algenon’s leg, or perhaps she’d laugh at his stunned expression when she’d flirted with him for the first time.
Right now, however, she hurt. If only she’d not tricked him into ruin. If only she’d been patient and upfront about her feelings. If only—
She stopped herself. The last fortnight had been filled with if onlys. The Roberts’s coach had arrived at Blackthorn a sennight ago and she’d still not seen Algenon. Then again, they had been in the midst of the Christmastide celebrations.
Hazelwood hadn’t felt like Christmas, though. There had been little more than a large dinner. No one had exchanged any gifts, no Christmas carols had been sung, and no one had visited—and it was all her fault.
Her downfall would implicate all her sisters. Their honor and virtue would be questioned. She’d not just hurt Algenon, she’d damaged her sisters’ chances at making good matches.
She crumpled the list in her hands.
“Stupid, stupid Javenia,” she muttered to herself.
“You were desperate, not stupid.”
Her mother’s voice startled her, and she spun in her seat. Mama looked at her with such sadness, her hand resting on the handle of the open door. Javenia wanted to dig a hole for herself and crawl into it, never to pain her parents again.
“I was stupidly desperate, then.”
Mama crossed the room slowly, her ever graceful steps swishing her lavender skirts.
Taking the seat across from Javenia, she said, “I think that is partially my fault.” Javenia shook her head, but her mother held up a hand to stop her.
“Let me explain. A few weeks ago you blamed us for forbidding you from forming an attachment with Lord Roberts.”
Javenia scrunched her nose. “Not Lord Roberts, Algenon.”
Mama’s sad smile appeared. “They are one in the same now.”
Javenia’s mouth fell open as she realized the truth of it. Algenon was now the baron.
Her mother continued. “While we never expressly forbade it, we did use language to make such an attachment seem prohibited, mostly because we understood your nature.”
Closing her hand around the other side of the wad of paper, Javenia leaned forward. “What do you mean, my nature?”
“Come now, Javenia. Since your childhood you have gone against the grain of Society. Even as a young girl you’d flout the rules your father and I laid out, even pushing back against the things we deemed good for you.”
“I do not see what that has to do with forbidding me to marry Algenon.”
“The fruit that is forbidden is often most alluring.” A guilty smile spread across her mother’s face.
Javenia’s shoulders fell and she hung her head. It all made sense now. The reason her father had never told them they could not socialize with the Roberts sisters, the way she’d been certain with enough prodding they’d give in. She had been duped by her own parents.
“And then I went and spoiled years of your matchmaking efforts.” Javenia rolled the ball of paper in between her hands, cursing her stubbornness.
A knock on the sitting room door brought her head up.
The butler entered. “Lord Roberts to see you, my lady.”
Javenia jumped to her feet, while her mother moved at a more appropriate pace.
Algenon entered the room, a package in his hands.
She drank in the sight of him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair had grown longer than usual.
And yet, he was the most welcome sight of her life.
A yearning, like gale force winds, pushed her to step forward, but she restrained herself when his eyes fell on her and he stumbled to a stop.
He glanced between her and her mother. The lines around his mouth deepened and the corners of his eyes pinched as if in pain. He’d not expected to see her. What’s more, he probably had not wanted to see her. How could she blame him? She’d practically ruined his life.
She moved toward the door. “Forgive me, I was just leaving.”
His hand shot out. “No. Wait.”
She stopped and stared at his hand, not wanting to focus on his face any more than she had to. A pricking sensation in her eyes revealed how close tears were to the surface, but she willed them back by clearing her mind and thinking only of the tiny gold band on Algenon’s pinky.
He looked at the butler and the man closed the door. Everyone stood still.
Her mother spoke first. “Would you two like a moment to speak?”
Javenia said no at the same time Algenon said yes. They blinked at one another.
“Please,” he said softly.
Her shoulders slumped and her chin dropped in submission.
“First, however, I need to deliver this.” He held up a package. “Apparently my mother meant to have this delivered to you, Lady Upton. I gathered from her letters that the two of you were quite close.”
Javenia raised her head in time to see her mother nod.
“We were. That is, until she married Lord Roberts. He did not care for me.”
Algenon handed her the package. “And why was that?”
“I encouraged her to do something he thought foolish.”
Algenon’s eyes narrowed and he studied her mother for a long moment. “To attend the party in Westmoreland?”
“Among other things.”
He nodded. “I am both grateful and disappointed.”
Her mother leaned in slightly. “Then you know.”
Javenia looked between them, the conversation making little sense. What did he know? What did her mother know?
He nodded again.
Her mother sighed. “She loved your father, and I believe he loved her, too. I hope you can forgive them.”
“Her, yes. Him, I cannot.”
Javenia’s brow furrowed further as she tried to make sense of the conversation.
Her mother’s shoulders slumped. “I suppose I can understand. If only…” She trailed off and her finger ran over the brown paper package in her hands. “Thank you for bringing this to me. I will cherish anything from Angela.”
“You are welcome.” Then he turned to Javenia and her heart stuttered.
Anguish like she’d never seen before pooled in his eyes, rimmed in dark circles. He searched her face as if hungry for something, but she knew not what.
“I will leave you two for a moment,” her mother said, then ducked from the room.
They continued to stare at one another for a moment before Javenia realized she still held the crumpled paper in her hand. Tucking her hands behind her back, she let it roll down the back of her dress and onto the floor, using a foot to sweep it under the table behind her.
“It is good to see you, Miss Harris,” Algenon said.
Her chest tightened. “Am I in your black books, then?” She tried to tease. He didn’t react right away, and a pit opened ready to swallow her heart whole. Would this strain between them be the new normal? Would they forever treat each other as indifferent strangers?
Then he smiled softly, his stiff posture relaxing ever so much. “No, but I thought I might be in yours.”
“I am the one who asked you to meet in the garden, so I should be the one to shoulder all the blame.”
His head fell and he shook it slowly. “No, no I am the one to blame. I could not resist your lips one moment longer, not after a lifetime of longing. And now I am the scum”—he paused, his throat bobbing as he swallowed—“that cannot even offer for you.”
The crack in his voice pushed her feet into motion, but she stopped herself just short of pulling him into her arms.
“What has happened, Algenon?”
“You should sit.” He stepped away from her as if fearful she might touch him.
She did as he asked and he moved to the small hearth, leaning an arm on the mantel as he stared down into it.
“I am going to divulge a secret that I wish never existed and which keeps me tied to my fath—Lord Roberts’s foolishness forever.” He turned and looked at her. “I am not Lord Roberts’s heir.”
“But you are Lord Roberts.” She attempted to stand, but he motioned for her to stay seated.
“Let me explain. The world sees me as his son, but truthfully, I am the son of his older brother, Mr. Solomon Roberts, and Miss Angela Stone. The man I knew as my father, Lord David Roberts, only married my mother to help her save face because my grandfather would have denied any claim she had to my parentage. By marrying my father’s younger brother, the world would receive me as a legitimate heir and not despise me. ”
Javenia’s heart pounded, perspiration forming on her brow. “Why tell me this? You could have gone your whole life with no one knowing any different.”
“Nobody except your mother, who apparently knows.” He looked back at the fire. “And Lord Falcross, who my uncle told over a game of cards while inebriated. He and Lord Rupert blackmailed my father into accepting marriage contracts for myself and Phillipa.”
“No.” Javenia shot to her feet. Her hands trembled, as did her knees. Fear, confusion, and anger warred within her. No wonder Lord Roberts had been so insistent and at the same time apologetic.
Algenon’s voice cracked again. “I am so sorry, Javenia, but if I do not follow through and the rest of Society finds out, I’ll not have a living to support my sisters.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. The thought of Algenon being trapped in a life of misery was too much to bear.
“Couldn’t you refute it? They have no real proof, just the words of a drunk man.
Besides, doesn’t your mother’s marriage to your uncle make you legitimate according to law, no matter who your father is? ”
He silently stared at her, and she could not take the heartbreak in his eyes a moment longer. He was a man of honor. He would hold through with whatever was necessary to support his sisters. She knew all too well what ruin faced him if anyone found out about his parentage.
She spun and ran through the door, allowing it to slam behind her. If only the bang wouldn’t have shattered her heart right along with it.
Algenon stumbled forward a few moments too late.
Javenia’s words had stopped him, slapping him in the face like a wet rag.
The more he thought about them, the more they made sense.
He held the journals and letters that exposed the truth.
It would be his word against Lord Falcross’s.
Yes, there would be gossip and he might face social scrutiny, but if by law he was considered legitimate with his mother’s marriage, what more was there to say?
He ran a hand over his face and stared at the finely woven Persian rug beneath his feet. Did his uncle have a book on law in his study? Or maybe his solicitor would know.
His gaze caught on a ball of blue paper, and he realized it was the one he’d seen Javenia holding when he first entered. Curiosity got the better of him and he picked it up and flattened it on the surface of the table.
On the top was written How to win Algenon’s heart.
A thunderous whooshing filled his ears as he read through the list.
1. Flirt with him.
2. Do not antagonize him.
He snorted. Well, those two had not worked. Teasing was their flirting.
3. Ingratiate yourself with his father and stepmother.
4. Buy new gowns from his favorite modistes.
5. Touch him.
Warmth spread through every inch of his body, and he grinned. That one had worked too well.
Several other small notes had been written, but it was the last one that made him pause.
Meet in private so you can confess.
Years of dancing around one another, of wondering and hoping, had led her to mastermind this list. He’d always known she was intelligent and fearless, from the very first time she’d stood up to Duncan Boleyn for him. He didn’t think his smile could grow, but it did.
Would it matter if they were both ruined? If Javenia was correct, the law would allow him to maintain his father’s properties. They might as well face Society’s scorn together.
Carefully, he folded the piece of paper and tucked it in his pocket, grateful for the piece of information she’d bestowed upon his grieving, weary mind.
He’d need to gain an audience with Lord Upton, but he doubted such a thing would be difficult.
The man probably expected it after all that had happened.
The door to the sitting room flew open and he looked up, expecting to see Javenia standing there. But it was Lady Upton.
She held a piece of paper aloft, a book in her other hand. “She told the truth.”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “Who?”
“Your mother. Solomon did do right by her.”