Chapter 11 Abel
ABEL
It’s so much being in the same room as Buckle and Perry together. I eat a few of the berries and grapes Buckle brought, but my stomach is too wild for much else.
“Sweetness, what do you like?” Perry lifts a paper plate as if he’ll add food for me.
“A little bit of everything, but my stomach is upset.” I rub my tummy.
Buckle gives me a worried look and I shake my head. “Nerves,” I whisper.
Buckle nods. “Same. My stomach is a mess.”
I blink up at him. “It is?”
Perry chuckles. “Same here, too.”
I take in Perry. There’s not a lot I know about this man other than he’s sweet and beautiful. “What do you do? Buckle is a mechanic. I’m a library clerk.”
“Oh, I thought you were a librarian,” Buckle says.
“Never finished high school after...” I let my words trail and shake my head. “No. But I love what I do. This place is my second home.”
A slight smile creeps on Perry’s lips. “I can show you. Tonight.” His eyes flick over to Buckle.
Buckle’s face lights up. “I also wonder what you do.”
Perry lifts a hand. “I think you’ll both enjoy what I do and it’ll help Abel with his confidence if he’ll let it.”
My face flames and I duck my head while nibbling a piece of cheese.
Perry reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I think you need a boost and I’d like to help if I can. I’ll pick you up around six?”
I nod. “I think I’m confident here.” I wave around the room. “I know what I’m doing and what’s expected of me at the library. But everything else is uncharted territory. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. You have to be slow.”
Perry tips my chin to face him. “We’ll go glacially slow if that’s what it takes to show you that for us three, Fate is right.”
I swallow and close my eyes. It’s too much looking him in his pretty brown eyes.
“Okay.”
“So is that a yes? I can come pick you up at six?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“And don’t worry, our Alpha. I’ll pick you up, too.” Perry winks and Buckle blushes.
A silly little gasp escapes me.
Buckle chuckles. “What was that for?”
“You blush.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “I felt it.”
Perry grabs more food and dumps some of it on my plate.
“Before,” Perry starts, “We get too deep into things, we should establish some rules.”
I nod. “Rules are always good.” They help me navigate life better.
“No one gets jealous.” Perry holds up a finger.
“We’re in this together. We talk. If anyone is uncomfortable about anything, we talk and come up with solutions.
If two of us want to fuck, we fuck. We don’t have to wait for permission from the third.
Same with kissing. We can date all three of us or two at a time.
If we feel neglected, we say something.” He taps his bottom lip.
“That’s all I can think of right now. Thoughts? ”
I try to slow my breathing. “You thought a lot about this.”
“I have. And there are so many ways to have a poly relationship too. We’ll just have to figure out what works for us.
But the main thing for any relationship, poly or otherwise, is communication.
” Perry pulls something from his pocket.
“I also read up on what’s available on hawks and chipmunks.
I’m very organized and wrote up a pamphlet on squirrels for the two of you.
If you’re interested. I don’t want to assume anything. ”
“Thank you,” I say. “I love this kind of thing.” I take his pamphlet with reverence. “Thank you.”
Perry chuckles. “It was selfish of me, really. I didn’t want you to learn things on your own. There’s one particular thing you’ll find that we do have to talk about soon-ish.”
“Your Heats,” Buckle says.
“My Heats,” Perry repeats with a nod.
My face flames again. “I can go—”
“No,” they both say at the same time.
Perry pats my hand, and I want to soak up his warmth.
“Squirrel omegas have two Heats a year just like true squirrels. My first Heat should be in about two weeks. But since I’ve found my Fateds it may come sooner.”
Buckle and I swallow at the same time.
“I’m going through the Heat alone.”
“What?” Buckle shouts and bounces to his feet.
Perry glares and I can’t help the giggle.
“We all just met! I want to get to know you both before we get knocked up.”
I nod. “Sensible. It’d be a lot to get to know us and deal with a pregnancy at the same time.” I keep bobbing my head as my skin grows too hot.
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t think about it like that.” Buckle drops back into his chair. “I just thought about how uncomfortable it could be.”
Perry’s eyes soften. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been doing it on my own for long enough I know exactly what I need.”
“I trust that you know your body. I don’t want you to think otherwise.”
I giggle and bury my face in my hands. Embarrassment creeps up my spine. “Sorry,” I whisper again and again.
“I’m gonna ask again,” Perry starts.
“Twenty-three.” I know how old Buckle and Perry are because of their accounts. I may have sneaked a look at the info. They’ll think I’m too young for them. Too immature. Maybe I am.
“Thirty-five,” Buckle says.
“Twenty-eight,” Perry supplies, but a sob escapes.
Buckle’s eyes shutter closed and I look between them. “What’s wrong?” My heart pounds too hard.
“I’m so sorry, Abel.”
“For what? What’s wrong?” They’re rejecting me because I’m so much younger than them. I push my chair back and almost stumble, but Buckle grabs my hand and pulls me into his lap. I blink up at him. “Why are you crying?” Our Alpha cries.
“You,” Perry says, “said your Kettle kicked you out a decade ago.”
“Oh.” I nod and try to pull away from Buckle, but he holds me closer. I relax into him. He’s so strong. And underneath the mechanic grease scent, there’s Buckle’s.
“You were a child,” Perry whispers. “How could they be so cruel?”
“We’re hawks,” I whisper. “And I’m a Beta. I’m expendable.” Unless they don’t have another heir.
Perry drops to his knees and takes my face in his hands. “No, you’re not. Gods. I want to—” He stops before saying what violence he wants to bestow upon my family.
“You’re important too, Abel,” Buckle adds.
I laugh, but it’s not joyful. “You don’t know me. I can’t contribute to providing an heir. I’m neither strong nor brave. Most of the time I’m either reading to escape or crocheting, so I have something to do with my hands so I’m not a danger to myself.”
The pair gasp at that. Buckle pulls one of my arms, no doubt to look for blade scars.
“It’s not what you think. I pick at my skin or pull out my hair. But when I’m crocheting, I don’t have that need. I make a lot of tiny hats and baby blankets to donate to the hospital for the newborns.”
Perry smooths hair from my face. “You’re more than whatever your Kettle said you are. Male Betas aren’t useless.”
“We’ll shower you with all the love and affection you’ve been missing.” Buckle rubs his head against mine, and I reciprocate the action. No one’s truly scented me in so long.
Perry rubs his head along my arm, and I wish I could scent him back.
I’m not sure if they’re pushing pheromones again. “I feel calmer. And this is nice,” I lean in to Buckle’s hold and lay my head on his chest. “I have another rule to add.” My voice is smaller than I intend.
They both nod.
“Do not pity me.”
“Never,” Perry says.
“It’s going to take me time to...” I swallow, the words hard to get out.
“It’s going to take me time to trust you.
I’ve been hurt. Not all of it the Kettle’s fault.
I hurt my own feelings. I don’t let people help because I’ve had to do things on my own for a long time.
I’m stubborn. But I don’t need pity. I always pull myself up.
My life is small and simple. I don’t know how to be loved.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have family.
Just... Be patient. So so patient. Please.
” My voice cracks. “And I’m so sorry for trying to eat you.
” I bury my head in Buckle’s chest again.
I cling to him hoping he nor Perry find me too much.
“Babe, we’re already smitten with you.” Buckle kisses the top of my head.
There’s the snick of a water bottle opening and Perry offers it to me. “Drink. That was a lot. We’re honored you trusted us to tell us all this.”
Buckle nods and takes the water bottle, waiting for me to take it from him.
“Good thing Riley gave me a long lunch. I’m going to have to recover from this.”
“You know,” Buckle says. “Riley is totally on your side. He’s a good guy.”
“I know,” I whisper.
I’m not ready to share how much Riley has helped over the years. “Let’s finish eating.” I wave to the food and Buckle simply scoots back to the table. “You can let me go.”
“What if I need this?” Buckle asks so sincerely I settle in.
“Okay, but I’m not a child. I don’t want to be fed.”
Buckle nods. “Understood. I just need to hold you for a little longer.” He rubs his head over mine again.
“What about a cuddle pile?” Perry asks. “For just a few minutes. I’ll set a timer.”
“What is a cuddle pile?” Logically I know, but I don’t know.
Perry lays back. “We just lay in each other’s arms. It’s not sexual. At least it hasn’t been for me.”
“Same.” Buckle sets me on top of the table before joining Perry on the floor and their arms tangle together. They both sigh. “You’ve never done anything like this?”
“If it’s affectionate, parents of Hawk Ridge don’t do it for their Beta children.” I slide to the floor but hesitate. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Perry tugs my arm and I flop on top of them. I flail until I drop between them and I’m squished within two pairs of arms. They both scent me and I lay there, getting zapped by Fate twice over.
“Take a deep breath, Abel,” Perry says.
I do, again and again, following his voice as he leads us through something meditative. There’s the slight hint of their combined pheromones, but nothing like when I apparently passed out. It’s... Nice. Warm. Soft. Cozy.
I don’t know how long we lay here. My eyes shut and I follow their synced breaths. It’s so peaceful.