Chapter 16
Mireya
Play - Pink Skies By Zach Bryan
The Fear Of Temporary Peace
I tuck the last strand of hair into the plait I’m braiding down the side of my face as I make my way next door to check if Hayzel is ready for the meeting.
I’m less stressed than at the beginning. It’s only been two days, but I feel calmer already. My body reacts differently here, like it can finally breathe. I like it more than I should.
That’s what makes it worse. I know I’ll have to go back home, and home doesn’t feel like this. I didn’t realize how tense I usually am until I felt what it’s like not to be.
I hope Hayzel won’t notice it, because she would ask questions and I don’t want to talk about it now. I want her to feel happy to be here, not overthink why her best friend is depressed and fucking angry.
“Hayzel, come on. I haven’t got time–” I stop short as I open her door.
Hayzel holds up what appears to be a camera, making stupid faces at it. Her eyes fill with mirth as she notices me standing at the door.
“Reya, come on! Say something for the camera, we’re going to be the Class of 2010. I’m recording this for our graduation day.”
I let her film me, glaring at it before knocking it gently away from my face. It feels awkward and exposing, even if nothing bad is happening. Being seen feels intrusive. Hayzel just loves capturing moments, photos are her way of holding onto things. Drawing is mine. So, I get it.
“Yeah, and we’re not going to graduate if you don’t move your ass and make the trip to the meeting room,” I tell her casually before twisting on my heel to head out of her room.
I hear the sudden click and snap of the camera shutting off.
“You just took a picture of me?”
She smiles, “I did.”
“You have 10 seconds to get your ass out here,” I say, shaking my head.
“Ugh, fine, party pooper,” she snaps at me before meeting me outside in the hallway.
I nudge Blue back into my room as I blow him a quick kiss goodbye. I pray he doesn’t get up to no good here. He should be fine with his toys, and I put down some fresh food and water before I got up to get ready this morning, so it should last him until I get back this evening, but still.
“What class do we have next anyway?” Hayzel grumbles as I lock my door.
“We don’t have an actual class. It’s a short seminar with Professor Green.”
The morning air is fresh as it blows through the courtyard, and I give no thought about the bitterness of the ocean breeze as we push past the other students who are heading to their classes.
“Sorry, excuse us…” Hayzel says softly as we squeeze through the gaps.
We pick up the pace when we hear the warning bell that’s going off in the buildings surrounding us. I feel the sweat forming around my face as our power walk turns into a light jog. I let out a breath as we came closer to the entrance of the hall.
Hayzel removes her hand from my arm, twisting it through mine as she pulls me towards the two empty rows at the back of the hall.
“Shit,” Hayzel mutters under her breath as Professor Green spots us from the top of the stage. I feel her eyes boring into us as she adjusts the microphone.
“You’re good, we’re good, no stress.” I whisper as I squeeze her hand.
“Good morning everyone. I am going to keep this very brief for the most part. I just wanted to give you a warm welcome to the academy,” she gestures towards the other professors who are standing nearby.
“Your professors will be here to teach and mentor you, should you need anything they are your most trusted advisors.”
I catch Mister Caldwell’s eyes and the way he studies everyone in this room. He looks focused, as if he’s searching for something.
“You are the elite of Seraphin Bay, but success isn’t guaranteed without effort. This year is going to be long, draining, and tiring. Some of you will leave because of the pressure. But you need to be strong.”
Draining. Tiring. Long…Fuck.
The hall feels too full, too many bodies and too much sound at once. They’re screaming, applauding this new year... Clapping hands and too many people.
I lower myself, like I dropped something, just to get my head down.
Stay low, just stay low.
I don’t look up again right away. I keep my eyes on the desk in front of me, trying to slow my breathing, but it keeps slipping. It’s too fast, then not fast enough, then too fast again. I think about leaving, then immediately don’t. That would be worse.
There’s movement in front of me. A veiny hand. A lighter between fingers, opening and closing. I notice it before I mean to.
Focus on that. Don’t think about anything else.
The noise, the people, the space, I’m trying to keep it out. My breathing evens out a little when I stop trying to control it and just follow that movement instead.
Open, I breathe in. Shut, I breathe out. Open, again.
When I lift my head, Mister Caldwell’s already looking at me and I don’t move. His hand stops, and the lighter goes back into his pocket.
“Reya, come on,” Hayzel says, pulling me upright. I look around the hall noticing everyone grabbing their bags and belongings.
“Are you alright?” She asks, handing me my things.
“Yeah. Sorry, I must’ve spaced out,” I lied.
“Okay, I got you,” Hayzel looks at me suspiciously as I adjust my bag on my shoulder and stand up behind her, watching the students spill out into the hallway. We fall into the back of the line, moving at a slow, dragged-out pace.
I follow with the rest of them, letting the noise thin out as we move.
The lighter is still somewhere in my mind, the rhythm of it lingering a little too long, then it fades as the hallway opens and I keep walking out.
“Let's cut through the building,” I pointed to the door behind me, the one next to the stage. Hayzel nods before linking her arm through mine again. She twirls a lock of my hair with her hand as we pass the professors who are also walking in the same direction as us.
Bennett appears quickly next to us, smiling with his arms crossed against his chest.
“Oh, you again,” Hayzel says and I fight the urge to laugh at her tone as I push one of the large oak double doors.
“Are you guys ready for the firearm training tomorrow?” He asks as he walks beside us.
“I don’t know, do you think they’ll start the evaluation even during training?”
Ethan nods at Hayzel and sits on a bench in front of a big and large statue.
It’s a woman with wings, looking sad, and her dress is ripped.
“Reya, you’re quiet, are you okay?” Ethan says, worry in his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit tired,” I smile back hoping it’ll reassure him, so he’ll stop asking questions.
Hayzel and him keep talking about the training session when Mister Caldwell passes by us. He’s heading to the teachers building. He doesn’t have his glasses on, and I catch a small scar on his nose.
Hayzel nudged me before nodding toward him. “Okay, but he’s really attractive.”
“Yeah, but I cannot afford to think like that,” I said, shaking my head. “This year, no distractions.”
Ethan leaned back, arms crossed. “Exactly. Stay focused, priorities first.”
I grinned at him, grateful for backup. “Thank you. I don’t need temptation walking around in a shirt and glasses right now.”
Hayzel rolled her eyes but smirked. “I get it, Reya.”
“I… you know,” I shrugged, but my eyes were still glued to Mister Caldwell.
I need to leave; I need to finish this year and leave.
She smiled back at me, gentle and understanding. “Yeah. And that’s okay.”
Ethan looks at us confused before saying in an exaggerated voice, “Hey maybe you know but I don’t.”
I look back at him and reply, “Not your problem, Ethan.”
Hayzel laughs before putting her head on my shoulder. Mister Caldwell disappears from my view, and I close my eyes for a second. No distractions allowed this year.
We stayed there for a bit; the sun had already started to dip. Ethan stretched and shook his head. “It’s already getting dark for fuck’s sake. And it’s only 6pm.”
Hayzel leaned on my shoulder and sighed with greed. “I’m so hungry,” she said, and I couldn’t help laughing at the devastation in her voice.
“Let’s get some food then,” Ethan said. “I’m too tired to cook tonight.”
“I’m down. I want a pizza… a lot of pepperonis.”
“It’s going to be without me, I’m going back to my dorm,” I replied. “I’m kind of tired.”
Hayzel kissed my cheek and then looked at Ethan. “We’ll bring you one, your usual?”
I smiled, nodding. “Yeah, pepperoni, extra cheese, please. You’re the best.”
“I know,” she said, grinning, teasing me. “Go rest, we’ll be back soon anyway.”
“Yeah, the bags under your eyes are worrying, Reya.”
I laughed, flipping him off, and then watched them walk ahead.
Even after all those years apart, somehow, nothing had changed.
By the time I got to my dorm, I was wiped out. The lack of sleep was catching up to me. Blue ran to the door, meowing loudly, thrilled I was back. I scooped him up, scratching behind his ears. “They wanted me to stay longer outside, but I couldn’t leave you alone for too long.”
I flopped onto my bed and grabbed my phone to call Edna and Milo.
“My little Reya?”
Breathe.
“Hey, Nana. How are you,” I said, leaning back on the bed, Blue still curled in my lap.
“Oh, baby! We’re okay, how are you? Did you eat?”
“Yeah… Hayzel is bringing some pizza; I’m waiting at the dorm now.”
“That’s good. How was your first day and your first night there?”
“It was okay. Ethan is here too, by the way. It’s been a crazy day, I’m exhausted.”
“Oh my god! Little Ethan! It’s been so long, tell him to come by some day, I’ll make dinner like when you were kids.”
“I will, Nana. Is Milo with you?”
“Yes, let me just give him the phone, he’s so excited to talk to you.”
After a few seconds I can hear his voice.
“Sissy!!”
“Firefly, how are you, baby?”
“I’m okay, Nana made some crazy pancakes this morning, they were so good.”
“I’m glad. How is school? Is everything okay? Do you need anything?”
He laughs softly, "yeah it’s all good. I miss you!"
“Oh, I miss you too firefly, but I’m coming back soon and I’ll bring Blue with me.”
“Yayyy! Okay sissy, I’ll have to go. Nana is calling me because dinner is ready.”
“Go and don’t forget to brush your teeth before going to sleep!”
“I won’t! Bye sissy I love you,” he says before kissing the phone.
“Bye baby, I love you the most.”
And the call ends, leaving me alone again.
Blue looks up at me as if saying, I’m here you’re not alone and I just kiss his little head.
It’s temporary, but it’s okay.