Chapter 113
Mreya
Birthday Blues
Play - Look After You by The Fray
The alarm clock goes off inside my room and when I get back in. I see both Milo and Blue sitting at the foot of the bed. Milo is wearing his dinosaur pajamas and Blue is sitting on his lap enjoying the attention and the rubs he is giving him.
“Hey baby,” I say, kissing his cheek.
He didn’t know I was at home when I returned last night. He was already sleeping.
“Sissy!” he yells excitedly as his little arms wrap around me. “I missed you so much.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Was I on the rooftop for too long?” I ask as I sit on the bed next to him and Blue.
“I’m not a baby anymore…I’m a big boy now,” he says softly in between my kisses.
“Oh, yeah? Says who?” I reply seriously.
“Grandma says it’s my birthday today!” Milo says, his eyes sparkling.
“Hmmm, I’m trying to see if I can see a birthday boy in this room,” I pretend to glance around the room, holding him in my arms.
“It’s me, sissy!” He mumbles with a soft chuckle.
I run my hand through his curly hair which needs a bit of a brush and a trim if I’m being honest. “I can’t believe it's your birthday, baby.”
“Did you get me a present?” He asks with a smirk on his face.
“Maybe? Let’s go get some breakfast first.” I gently usher him out of the bed as I pick up Blue. But Milo stands there, waiting for me to move as if he’s scared I’ll disappear. “I’m not going anywhere baby, you can go downstairs. I’m right behind you.”
He nods and runs out. I’m just about to fix the bed when Hayzel walks in.
“I forgot how much I missed being back home,” she says, yawning as she falls on top of my unmade bed.
“Hayzel!” I tug the bottom of the duvet, letting Blue jump on her from my arms. “Get the fuck up woman. We haven’t got time for this, we have to bake the cake and get ready...”
She rolls her eyes at me but obliges at my request after giving a few kisses to Blue. “No stress, everything is going to be perfect, you psycho. I’ll tell Nana you’ll be down in a bit.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to reply as she walks out of the room with Blue trailing right behind her.
My hair is a mess and I’m still yawning by the time I come downstairs.
“There’s my beautiful girl,” Edna says and I notice she’s still in her nightgown with some hair rollers on her head.
“Morning, Nana.”
“What do you want to eat, girls?” Edna asks Hayzel as I take a seat next to Milo who’s already tucking into his pancakes and eggs that she made for him.
“Maybe some cereal and coffee?” I say as I get up to grab the milk out of the fridge. Edna fixes me a glare before I have the chance to get up properly.
“Sit down kid,” she tells me sternly “I told you I’ll get it.”
I heave a sigh but oblige knowing it will make her happy.
“Nana, I’ll have some of those eggs if there’s any left in the pan,” Hayzel asks, which leaves Edna nodding her head at her.
“Yep, there’s some left. I’ll grab everything and bring it to the table, love.”
I pick up the napkin to wipe syrup from Milo’s chin, he smiles at me, munching his food.
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” Edna asks, bringing over a bowl of cereal for me and eggs and bacon for Hayzel.
“I think we’re just gonna hang out here and celebrate Milo’s birthday.” I say softly, which causes the birthday boy to laugh excitedly.
“Can it be Blue’s birthday too, sissy?” He asks.
“Of course my love.”
Speaking of Blue, my eyes snap to him as I watch him chow down on his cat food, he glares up at me as if he’s daring me to take away his plate. I put my hands up in mock surrender and go back to my own meal. The knocking at the door startles us and I get up to answer it.
I pad over to the wooden door before swinging it open. Damien.
He’s standing on the doorstep holding a large colorful bag.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him as I glance behind me.
“You texted me to come.”
“Huh? No, I didn’t?” At least I don’t remember texting him…
“Whoopsie…” We hear Hayzel whisper.
Damien peers inside to look at her and I turn to glare back. She holds up my cellphone dangling it in the air which has both Milo and Edna laughing.
“Come…” Edna says trying to compose herself from laughing. “Come in please, we’re just having breakfast.”
Damien nods, as he grabs my hand to get inside. “And, this is for you…” I hear him say as he hands Milo the large bag.
“Cool…!” He yells out and just as he is about to run into the living room with it Edna, Hayzel and I reprimand him.
“What do you say, Milo?” We all call out.
He stops glancing up at Damien with big wide eyes. “Thank you so much, sissy’s teacher.”
I smile, covering my face as Damien ruffles his hair. “You’re welcome buddy.”
He takes off in a run and I go back to my chair, and Damien takes the empty chair next to me.
For one selfish second, our eyes meet, and I let myself believe he could be part of all of this.
His large hand finds mine under the table, soft and safe, and he squeezes my fingers into his.
He then leans in, whispering, “Good memories, remember?”
I could get used to it.
Play - Conversations in the Dark by John Legend
We’re still sitting around the table when the phone rings.
Edna looks at us before getting up. “I’ll get it.”
I watch as she shuffles towards the kitchen to retrieve the house phone. “Hello?” She starts softly, her gaze finds mine, and her expression changes a moment later. “Yeah, one second…Milo!”
Milo looks behind him at Edna. “Yes, Nana?”
“Call for you, baby,” she replies sweetly, gesturing the phone towards him.
Who the hell could be calling so early and why are they asking for my brother?
I hear his footsteps patter against the wooden floor, he thanks Edna and takes the phone from her. Milo clears his throat before speaking and Edna stands beside him running her hands through his hair as he speaks, “Hey Dad…”
No…
“It’s okay…I’ll tell her,” he says before continuing, “yeah she’s here but…” I shake my head up at him and Edna and she mouths to him ‘bathroom’, “she’s in the bathroom.”
I let out a sigh when Hayzel interjects.
“What kind of father misses their own child's birthday?” She whispers to me.
“My asshole of a dad does. But it’s fine,” I say, my eyes still on Milo.
Damien squeezes my thigh, and it makes me look at him. He nods, and I feel his thumb rubbing against my skin, up and down, I focus on it as my chest tightens.
It’s okay.
Edna comes over handing me the phone and after a long exhale, I place it at the shell of my ear, already walking away from everyone.
“Mireya?” he asks bluntly.
“Hey..” I try to keep my voice light and airy as Milo’s eyes meet mine from the kitchen.
“Is he happy?”
“Yeah, he’s fine, we’re just finishing breakfast,” I replied coldly.
“Good, take care of the kid,” he says and it makes me want to throw the phone at the wall. The kid. Milo isn’t the kid.
“I’ll be back home in the next few weeks and I hope you’re not acting like a fucking brat at work,”
“It’s fine,” I say and with that he cuts off the call.
“Okay, I have to go now, tell him happy birthday for me,” he adds, then hangs up.
I return back to the kitchen like nothing happened, Milo is playing with Blue, Hayzel and Edna are already washing the dishes and all I can do is stare for a second.
A minute ago, everything was soft, and now I can feel every wall around me. One voice, and the girl who was smiling a second ago is already gone.
Damien stands suddenly, and crosses the distance between us without drawing anyone’s attention. They’re all doing something, focused on it. And I’m still trying to catch my breath.
When he reaches me, he stops when his body blocks me from everyone else.
“Look at me.”
His fingers find the back of my hand, one soft tap there and my eyes find his.
“I’ve got you. No one is looking. Breathe.”
Another tap, slower this time. He holds my gaze for another second, then turns toward the counter like nothing happened.
“Can you help me with something?” he asks, voice loud. Then lower for me, “Come with me,” he whispers.
I walk upstairs after thanking Edna, and he’s behind me following every step I take.
We quickly reach the guest room where my gift for Milo is.
Damien closes the door behind him, the moment we’re in. He doesn’t speak, he simply looks at me and then after a few seconds he says, “Come here.”
I do. His hand closes gently around my wrist, thumb brushing over my pulse.
“Your eyes on me, Mireya.” I lift my eyes, and there’s nothing soft in his expression but his hand is careful. “Breathe.”
I try, he waits, and when I struggle I feel it again. A tap. His fingers touch mine again. “Again,” he demands in an almost severe voice.
I breathe in, then slowly exhale, my eyes never leaving his.
“That’s good.” The sentence is somehow approving, and something in my chest loosens.
His gaze drops briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes. “I don’t want you thinking about him right now.”
My throat tightens when I reply, “I can’t just–”
He cuts me off as his hand wraps around the back of my neck. “You can.” He pulls me closer, lowering his voice, “Whatever he said can wait.” His thumb presses slowly against my jaw. “I’m here. With you.”
For a moment, I don’t move, then melt against him, my head falls on his chest and his fingers tangle in my hair.
We stay like that for a few minutes, and after a soft kiss on the top of my head, his eyes flick toward the wrapping paper and gift.
“Let me help you wrap this,” he whispers, pulling away as he grabs my hand.
“That’s your plan?”
He nods as he stares at everything, “The only one I have right now.”
A soft laugh escapes me, and somehow that’s enough to make the girl who disappeared come back.
We start, and I can tell he never did this before. It takes him three tries to understand how to wrap a gift correctly. A small smile tugs on the corner of my lips when he slips it into a colorful bag that says ‘Happy Birthday’ on it in a metallic blue lettering.
After that, he steps closer to me, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear and my eyes dart upwards to find his gaze.
“I want you to always be happy,” he says softly.
“I am, I promise,” I reply as I stand up. “But don’t stop repeating it…”
“I won’t, until I’m sure of it,” he replies, certain.
I turn to head towards downstairs as he shuts the bedroom door behind us.
Hayzel is walking across the landing, holding a present for Milo too. “Who knew shopping for kids was so difficult, they have so many choices. It was hard to find something,” she suddenly says as we all laugh as we descend downstairs and into the living room.
Everyone is sitting around the table. We didn’t have the time to bake a cool cake, but Edna found a solution.
Some of Milo’s school friends are here, laughing and smiling. The birthday boy looks soft and happy and all I can do is mirror his joy. Damien’s hand lands on my lower back, and he whispers softly, “You’re an incredible sister.”
The light is off, candles are lit and everyone is ready to sing.
“Happy birthday to you...” we sing and I hold the birthday cake in front of a beaming Milo who’s holding Blue in his arms who is also wearing a matching birthday hat. “Happy birthday dear Milo and Blue...”
“Happy birthday to you…” we finished as I brought the cake closer so he could blow out the candles.
One candle for each year I had to endure your absence, mom, and his violence. One candle for each year Milo found comfort in the most scarred person around him.
And one candle for every year I’ve been missing you, because where there is deep love, there is deep grief.
Hope you’re watching over him with pride, he’s a happy kid, I promise.
“Make a wish, firefly,” I whisper as he squeezes his cheeks together.
The smoke from the candles fills the air and we all cheer.
“I want a big piece please, sissy!” Milo says.
I chuckle as Edna hands me a kitchen knife, then serve Milo first then Edna, Hayzel and Damien. Ms Jennings, Edna’s friend, and her grandson want to take theirs home so I grab two spare napkins.
“He’s more than happy,” Edna says as I hand her two pieces of the cake in napkins for our guests.
“You’re a big reason for that,” I reply softly and she smiles.
“I’ll give these to them,” she says, gesturing to Ms Jennings and her grandson.
I move towards the front door with Edna to say goodbye to our guest’s leaving and Damien announces that he’s heading off too.
“Oh, you’re leaving so soon, Damien?” Edna says as he adjusts his sleeves.
“I can’t stay too long. Thank you for having me,” he replies softly.
She nods before continuing, “don’t be a stranger now, alright?”
Edna returns to the living room where Milo and Hayzel are wishing happy birthday to Blue again. And I’m all alone with Damien at the entrance.
“You know you can stay,” I say quietly as my hands find his shirt.
“I know,” he replies, his gaze never leaving mine. His large hand stays on mine against his chest and he leans in to leave a small kiss on the corner of my mouth. “But it’s late and I know you don’t get to spend a lot of time with Milo. Stay. I’ll call you in the morning.”
I nod, stepping closer to him. His hand cups my jaw now, and the pad of his thumb rubs against my lips.
“Goodnight, Mireya.”
“Goodnight, Damien.”
He presses his forehead against mine briefly and the warmth of his body washes over me.
He then lets go and I take a step back as he gestures at the door. “Lock it behind me.” I smile and a soft chuckle escapes my lips as I close the door.
A quick knock from outside and his voice comes in again. “Lock it.”
He’s insane.