Chapter 30
Jaxton
I sense them coming.
All four of my brothers. Is it something urgent, or an intervention? They’re coming on four paws instead of in a car. If it’s an intervention, it won’t be because of the cigars I smoke, the whiskey I drink, or the isolation I surround myself with. No, this is going to be about her.
I sensed it building between them. The aggressiveness, just like I had with my father when I started changing.
I didn’t even see it happening back then.
My love for Joanna was still in its infancy, but it brought my Alpha nature to the surface.
So much so that my father knew about my relationship before I’d dared mention it to anyone.
Ansley’s their mate. No doubt about that.
They just can’t complete the mating ritual.
Can’t fully embrace what their instincts are calling for.
Mine built slowly, as I fell for Joanna.
With those that feel the pull towards their mate, it’s faster.
A wolf goes into his den to claim his mate, and he comes out the next morning as an Alpha.
Usually with the first member of his new pack already growing in her belly.
But I won’t be a part of it. If they can’t finish the mating ritual with Storm, then they’ll just have to learn to live with what that leaves behind.
They might change some, but they won’t become true Alphas.
Luckily, it won’t break them in the process, like it did me.
They’ll still have their mate, instead of a void in their chest where their heart should be.
That’s what losing the she-wolf you love will do to you.
Watching her burn at the stake, while you’re paralyzed from your injuries, unable to stop them.
Knowing you’re next, but wishing you were first, just so you didn’t have to watch the fire rise and rise, listening to the screams, until there’s nothing left.
Nothing except the pain it leaves inside you.
Most days, I wish my brothers hadn’t dragged me away. Hadn’t hidden me, hadn’t found a Witch Doctor to tend to my wounds and nurse me back to life. If you can even call it a fucking life. I would have preferred to die by her side.
I light a cigar as they arrive and drink some whiskey straight from the bottle.
“Jaxton,” Hayden’s deep voice is sharp and he is already in his true Human Form when he walks inside. “We need to talk to you.”
“I gathered that by how fast you were coming,” I drawl, taking a pull from my cigar and exhaling the smoke while the rest of my brothers step inside and fan out around Hayden. “I’m guessing this isn’t about the vampire lair, because there’s not much we can do about that.”
“There is,” Wyatt says, stepping forward. “Ansley had a vision.”
“It was about us, fighting the vampires. All of us,” Remy says with intensity. “We were all Alphas, including you. Not like this, either. Ansley said you were bigger than Hayden.”
I fold my arms across my chest, blow out more smoke, and take another pull from the bottle. I glare at them and shake my head, not even bothering to respond.
“You just need to meet her, Jaxton. You were part of her vision. If we complete the mating ritual with Ansley, we’ll all be strong enough to take down the vampires,” Remy insists.
“She saw us tearing apart the lair. We destroyed all of them. And you were the one who ripped out the last vampire’s heart. An old vampire, too. He had red eyes.”
“Fuck,” I growl, shaking my head again. “I was hoping you’d be able to complete the ritual without me. I knew you’d become Alphas. I can already tell you’re changing.”
“Always the perceptive one,” Wyatt says. “So, you’ll meet her?”
“No,” I grind out. “I want no part of this. It’s not fair. I chose my mate. Joanna. I loved her, and that should have broken the bond.”
“You were never wed,” Hayden growls. “You were changing, yes, but it never fully rooted or severed the chance of you finding your mate.”
Rage builds inside me. I try to silence it with some smoke and whiskey, but that doesn’t do the trick. No, this is the kind of rage that needs an outlet and all I’ve got right now is my voice. And my fists.
“Well, it fucking should have!” I shout, rising to my feet.
I toss my cigar and down more whiskey. “I loved her! None of you know what that’s like!
And what? You want me to just replace that?
Forget Joanna by fucking some Scion? A Scion we know nothing about, I might add. We don’t even know what she is.”
“We know she’s our mate,” Hayden state unequivocally.
“Not mine,” I seethe, rage in voice. “Not today. Not ever.”
“You’d rather let Chicago get overrun by vampires?” Storm asks. “Or the Crimson Templars, when they show up to deal with them?”
“I’ll fight by your side, against the vampires or the fucking Crimson Templars. Let them come to Chicago. I’d love, fucking love, to tear a few of those miserable bastards apart,” I shout.
“Suicide? That’s your answer?” Remy asks.
“Maybe it’s better than living,” my voice quiet. “And hey, if I’m gone, then you can complete the mating ritual, right? If there’s only four of you, there won’t be a problem anymore.”
“That’s not what we want,” Hayden is barely holding onto calm in the face of my stubbornness.
“It’s not what Ansley’s vision showed her.
We kill the vampires. Chicago is safe. Our pack has a future.
We’ll have children. Possibly even she-wolves.
There could be other packs. This could save our kind from extinction. ”
I turn away and drink more whiskey. I let out a sharp exhale, the tension in my shoulders tightening. “Do you ever think that maybe that’s what’s best? Extinction? What place do we have in this world, Hayden? Any of us? We’re cursed relics of a world that moved on a long time ago.”
“We have as much right to this world as they do,” Wyatt says. “Half their history they made up. The rest of it, they changed until they liked it. They could blow themselves up tomorrow. Then what? We might be all that’s left.”
“You’re not getting what you came here for,” my voice is cold with finality as I turn to face them again.
Then it devolves into shouting. The Alpha tendencies in my brothers are getting worse. Wyatt, Remy, and Storm used to never challenge Hayden, and while I wasn’t a full Alpha, my presence commanded similar respect. I butted heads with Hayden sometime, but I’d always fall in line if it was an order.
If this continues, we might come to blows. That’s the last thing I want. Fighting with my brothers? If that’s the life I have to look forward to, then it truly is all a waste of fucking breath.
“Let me talk to him,” a voice cuts through the air. The stunned look on all four of my brothers’ faces tells me they didn’t expect her. “I didn’t tell you everything about my vision. I left something out because I didn’t understand at first.”
“Ansley, you shouldn’t have come!” Hayden shouts, stepping in front of her, blocking her before I can see her.
But it’s too late. I’ve caught her scent.
It’s seeping in, messing with my thoughts.
I feel my pupils dilating. My gut is tightening.
The overwhelming need is taking hold. Except this isn’t what I expected.
It doesn’t feel like it’s replacing the love I had for Joanna.
No, this is too… familiar. Like coming home after centuries away.
Like finding something I knew was lost forever and never imagined finding again.
“Hayden, I have to tell him what I saw,” Ansley says, moving around him. “Or, rather, I have to let him see it for himself.”
I finally see her. Ansley. The girl who has captivated my brothers. Their mate. She takes a step closer and I look into her beautiful brown eyes. That’s where the familiarity lies. Below the surface. Somewhere my brothers can’t see.
The bottle drops from my hand and shatters on the floor. I stumble back, catching myself on the table.
“No!” I shout, shaking my head violently, trying to get rid of her scent. “This isn’t possible! Why… How!?”
“I don’t know,” Ansley replies, her voice soothing the rage and pain inside me, even though I’m still trying to hold onto it. “But you see it, don’t you? I felt it when I saw you in my vision, but I couldn’t make sense of it. My connection with you is stronger than it is with any of the others.”
“Because…” I breathe the word, unable to say the rest.
“Her soul. There’s a piece of it inside me. Just enough to remember you,” Ansley is speaking quietly, like it’s just us here. “Enough to remember how much she loved you. Enough to remind you of how much you loved her.”
I want to scream that it’s a trick. That there is no way what she’s saying is the truth. But I know it is. I can just sense it. I’m as sure of it is as I am of the love for Joanna I’ve carried as pain since she died. I don’t need to be reminded; I never stopped loving her.
Everyone else is too stunned to speak. So am I. I’m struggling for my next breath.
“When I had my vision, and I saw you, I felt her. She’s been trying to get back to you for a very long time,” Ansley says. “I’m not her. I know that. But somehow… somehow, part of her survives in me.”
Hayden is staring at Ansley like he’s seeing her for the first time. Remy’s eyes are narrowed, his usual humor completely gone. Storm is still, like he’s still analyzing, and isn’t sure what to make of it.
Wyatt finally seems to regain his composure. “Part of her soul? Even the oldest writings talk about souls, especially religious texts. Maybe there’s more truth in them than I realized.”
I still can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can’t do anything but stare at this woman who carries a piece of the only person I’ve ever loved inside her.
“Joanna,” I whisper, and my voice cracks. “Is she… can you… I don’t know how this works.”
“I can feel her, even now, like I could when I had my vision,” Ansley explains. “I feel a connection with all of your brothers, but Jaxton… my connection with you is different. The emotion is so much stronger.”
I walk closer to her, still trying to process it.
I see everything my brothers see. Ansley is a beautiful woman.
The need to mate, mark, and claim roars inside me.
But that isn’t what truly draws me to her.
It’s what lingers below the surface. The familiarity.
The love that has wrapped around my lonely heart for centuries.
She’s not Joanna. I watched the she-wolf I love die. Watched the life leave her eyes when the fires rose around her. But part of her survived. Somehow. Just enough to bring Ansley to me. Just enough for me to see that hope isn’t completely lost.
“Joanna only belonged to me,” my voice is a deep rumble from my chest. “But you don’t. I can sense that, too. You’re meant for all of us.”
“I am,” Ansley states plainly. “I’m your mate.”
She is. I have no doubt about that. The pull is undeniable, and I don’t want to fight it. Not anymore. Even if it’s just a piece of Joanna’s soul, I’ll love it. I’ll cherish it.
I’ll protect Ansley until my dying breath.