Chapter 38
Wyatt
I rarely drink, but this is the best whiskey I’ve ever tasted.
I am struggling to digest everything Lucifer has told us so far. He’s Ansley’s father. He’s an angel. But there’s so much that doesn’t make sense, especially to me.
“Alright, now that Ansley went to bed, can I ask a few questions?” Daisy chimes, drinking some sort of concoction she made.
“Go ahead, little lamb,” Lucifer says.
“I think I’ve had enough conversation for one night,” Jaxton grumbles, finishing his whiskey and putting the glass beside his plate. “I’m going to bed.”
“I’ll go with you,” Storm adds. “I want to check on Ansley anyway. Make sure she’s comfortable.”
“That’s a good idea,” Remy yawns. “Then I need some rest. I still feel pretty worn out after getting shot so many times.”
“I’ll stay up a while longer,” I say, glancing at my brothers. “Let me know if Ansley needs anything.”
I’m concerned about our mate, but I’m face-to-face with an historical figure, and my brain is far from ready to rest. I’ll be tossing and turning, still trying to make sense of it all if I try to go to bed now.
“Alright, so you’re not the devil. You’re just an angel,” Daisy says. “You said you haven’t sought human companionship in centuries, other than Ansley’s mom. Why? Everything still works, obviously. Ansley’s proof of that.”
Of all the questions Daisy could ask, that’s the one she comes up with?
She could be asking him about the secrets of the universe.
The meaning of our existence. But no, she’s more interested in his dating life and whether or not his dick still works.
Then again, that shouldn’t surprise me when it comes to our mate’s Mitra.
“Imagine coming to earth, falling in love, and then watching the woman you love slowly age and die. Now imagine that happening over and over again, and there’s nothing you can do except take care of your children after the woman you love is gone,” Lucifer sighs.
“Nephilim live longer, as do Scions, but eventually time takes them all away. The only thing time doesn’t touch is me. ”
“That… honestly sounds kind of sad,” Daisy admits with a grimace.
“And that describes my entire existence,” Lucifer says. “Sadness. Love is an incredible feeling, but it is fleeting for an immortal in a mortal world. Even now, I’m preparing to eventually mourn the loss of my daughter. Mourn the loss of the grandchild that hasn’t even been born yet.”
“Sorry to interject. Daisy, I’m sure you have plenty of questions, but what you just said, Mr.… Mr. Lucifer? Do you have a last name?” I ask, realizing I’m stammering.
“Lucifer is fine,” he says.
“Okay, so you said sadness describes your entire existence. Really? I mean, you mentioned heaven. Isn’t that where angels live?” I ask. “Or is the part about you being thrown out true? Was there really a war in heaven?”
“Ah yes, a curious mind. I’ve spent lots of time with those that seek the answers you seek. Want the quick version or the long version?” Lucifer asks, tilting his head slightly.
“Whichever one you’re willing to tell,” I say, then I drain my glass. “Daisy, mind fixing me another drink?”
“Sure, coming right up,” she chimes, taking my glass.
Lucifer downs some wine, puts his glass on the table and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He takes a deep breath, exhaling like he carries the weight of the world.
“Long ago, the first heartbeat of life pulsed in the universe, but we were already there. We don’t know who or what created us, only that we simply came to be.
All we had were instincts that told us protecting the universe was our responsibility,” Lucifer begins.
“We debated what that meant for eons with no answers, until one day, an answer presented itself. The first human soul, seeking eternal refuge.”
“Seeking heaven?” I question, taking my drink when Daisy returns. “Thank you.”
“There was no name for it back then, but yes. We built it and lived there, welcoming the human souls that arrived, providing them with somewhere peaceful to rest for all eternity,” Lucifer says.
“But souls intrigued us. We didn’t have them.
Humans did. We questioned why we were different.
Questioned if all human souls deserved a place in the paradise we created.
Questioned if we should help the humans while they were still alive or simply wait for them to come to us. ”
“I can see that,” I admit, fascinated by it all.
“As for a war? No, there was no war. Not in heaven or between angels. Those of us who thought humans deserved our help began visiting Earth. We found more than humans in need of guidance and assistance,” Lucifer chuckles dryly.
“We discovered pleasure, something we’d never felt before.
Discovered that pleasure resulted in offspring.
Offspring with some of the same celestial energy we were made from. Nephilim.”
“And me!” Daisy chimes in. “I have celestial energy, too.”
“Yes. Different, but yes,” Lucifer says. “Some simply sought pleasure. Some found a deeper connection. But the angels in heaven were outraged when the first Nephilim soul arrived. They refused to accept it, refused to grant it eternal peace. When that soul was destroyed, everything changed.”
“They destroyed the soul of one of your children?” I gasp, astonished. “How could they do something like that?”
“They felt they were following their instincts to protect the universe. Saw the union as blasphemous to our calling. Before that, we could freely move between heaven and earth. But the angels that stayed in heaven sealed the Earth, so that no angel would ever be able to leave it and return to heaven. Locked us out of the home we helped them build,” Lucifer sighs.
“Our children aren’t welcome there and neither are we.
Not anymore. There was no war. Just banishment and imprisonment. ”
“Damn,” I say, surprised by how simple yet complex it all seems to be.
“So, when we die… a Scion. Our soul is just destroyed?” I ask tentatively.
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” Lucifer confirms. “A piece may still linger, but it will eventually fade, once the last memory of it does.”
“Wish I’d just gone to bed,” Daisy mutters, taking a drink. “Now I’m going to dream about tortured souls.”
“Feels like a big cosmic joke. Our kind has always believed that the souls of those who die live in harmony with nature,” I sigh, shaking my head.
“Instead, we’re just angel bastards who aren’t even welcome in heaven.
We’re going to bring children into a world where they’re hunted because they exist, and if they survive that… nothing. Just death.”
“Now you know why I choose to live alone. Why I no longer seek companionship,” Lucifer says. “Cosmic joke? Yeah, I guess that’s what it is.”
“Daisy, ask all the questions you want,” I huff, downing the rest of my glass. “I’m going to bed.”
I don’t wait for a response. I stand up, shoulders slumped, and walk out the door and down the hall.
I peek into Ansley’s room. She’s asleep.
Hayden is beside her, a hand on her belly in a protective posture.
It seems meaningless now. Our mate. Our pack’s future.
What’s the fucking point? We have an angel on our side and the only thing we can do is hide like cowards.
“I’m sorry, Ansley,” I sigh, shaking my head. “None of us will be able to protect you. Protect our children. Fuck…”
History used to fill me with purpose: discovering the secrets, unlocking the mysteries. But there were never any certain answers. Just useless stories by people who didn’t know any more than I did.
Now? Now it just feels fucking hopeless.
Somehow, I manage to fall asleep and when I wake up, I can hear my brothers.
I don’t get up immediately. I’m refreshed, but I feel pretty depressed after my conversation with Lucifer.
Part of me feels like Daisy did. That it would be better to have never known.
Let my curiosities stay curiosities, rather than knowing the truth.
“You awake, brother?” Hayden asks, stepping into my room.
“Yeah, I’m awake,” I mutter, sitting up in bed. “Trouble?”
“No, we’re going for a run. Lucifer said it’s safe, and there’s nobody around for miles. It’s been a while since we could run freely like that. You in?” Hayden asks.
“Nah, go ahead without me,” I say, wafting a hand.
“Alright, brother. You can keep an eye on our mate. Make sure Daisy doesn’t get her into trouble,” he chuckles.
I stay in bed a little longer, then shower and get dressed. These clothes are stuffy and not my style, but they’re clean. Better than walking around naked and getting compliments from Daisy about the size of my cock.
When I walk into the living room, Ansley is already there, but she’s alone.
“Daisy still sleeping?” I ask, walking over and sitting down next to my mate.
“Yeah, she was probably up late annoying my father,” she replies, leaning against me. “How about you? Did you stay up much longer after I went to bed?”
“Longer than I should have,” I sigh.
“You okay? Something seems different about you today,” she wears her concern for me on her lovely face.
“Just learning that there’s very little meaning in this world. Nothing after it, either,” I admit. “Just death.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
I’m not sure I should tell her, but I can’t hide things from my mate. It’s not my nature, even if it seems cruel to tell her the truth. I spill it all and Ansley listens, the worry in her eyes growing the more she hears.
“Damn,” she says, pondering it, putting her hand on her stomach.
“But is it really hopeless? Meaningless? We can still live our lives and raise our children. We have what we need, and if we don’t want to stay here, we don’t have to.
We may not be able to return to Chicago, but there are other places to live. ”
“As much as it pains me, I don’t think we should leave.
Not for a while. Maybe after the Crimson Templars have stopped looking for us, we can find somewhere nice, but here…
here we’re safe. You’re safe. The baby is safe,” I say.
“Life may not have the same meaning it did, but I’m in no hurry to go somewhere danger could find us. ”
“I talked with my father after the others went for their run,” Ansley says, snuggling closer to me. “He said he could teach me to control my power better. Show me how to use it. I should probably take advantage of that.”
“Might not be a bad idea,” I admit, letting out a long sigh. “But not right now. Right now, I just want to hold my mate. It’s the only thing that feels right in this miserable world right now.”
“Then hold me,” she says. “Let’s forget about everything else for a while.”
Right now, it feels like the only thing we can do.
Dwelling on it won’t change anything.