Chapter 17
17
Nikki
I t had been a month of Mateo outwardly showing her affection.
Thirty days of attention from the man she’d secretly had a crush on in her formative years.
And no sign of him changing his mind—no sign of him losing interest.
As much as Nikki had been waiting for Mateo to prove he was like most of the men in her life, she had to admit he wasn’t showing any signs of heading in that direction. He wasn’t as shallow as she’d thought. Even though he’d dated women who could have been models in another life, he genuinely seemed to care for her despite her not being anything like those women.
It had gotten to the point that Nikki couldn’t deny that Mateo was even more perfect than she’d built him up to be in her mind.
And the way he was with Paxton?
She could have thrown herself at Mateo and begged him to be hers forever just for that alone.
Every time she turned around, she found her son watching Mateo with awe and a smidge of determination. Nikki could see just how much Paxton looked up to this man—this cowboy who had become a sort of superhero all on his own—and she suspected he didn’t even know.
Her eyes locked with his across the small expanse of property as he sat beside Paxton on a bale of hay. They were working on knot tying, which was more than a little difficult seeing as Paxton still struggled with his arm to his chest. The good news was that his bone had healed rather quickly. Apparently, children’s bones could do that better than those of an adult. Nikki couldn’t be more grateful.
Mateo smiled at her, and a rush of heat rippled through her body. He wasn’t outwardly affectionate with her more than their quiet moments of chatting, but there had been more than one occasion where she’d met him in the kitchen after Paxton had gone to bed. And she couldn’t forget the way he’d pulled her into the kitchen when no one was there so he could steal a kiss.
When he smiled at her like that, all she could think about was how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms.
There was just one thing holding her back, and she wasn’t proud of it.
Mateo still wouldn’t confide in her about Caroline beyond what he’d said at the Country Club. He didn’t want to hear about her or talk to Nikki about anything related to her. Nikki couldn’t help but wonder if he still harbored feelings for Caroline. Was there a chance he was suppressing those feelings for Nikki’s benefit? For him to hold onto that pain for so long had to mean something.
The thought made Nikki’s stomach twist uncomfortably. She could imagine all her organs bunching together and cowering from the part of her that knew they needed to air out those memories. It would be smart, right? Mateo should be capable of telling Nikki he was past the pain and heartache.
And if he wasn’t?
She pushed down the negative thoughts as she tore her eyes from the man she had grown to love more than she wanted to admit. She hadn’t told him—mostly because she was terrified. She didn’t want to jinx what they had that was going so well.
The more she thought about Caroline, the more the woman haunted her. Nikki hadn’t heard from the woman in so long, and yet she still infiltrated her thoughts and made it difficult for Nikki to truly enjoy what she had.
She could already imagine what Caroline would do if she heard about Nikki’s budding relationship with her ex. She’d make a scene. Even though they weren’t friends anymore, Caroline would pull the “sisters before misters” pact they’d made in high school.
A sigh built up in Nikki’s chest. She wasn’t going to go there. Thinking about Caroline would only poison her heart, and she’d left that part of her life behind her. If Mateo wanted to keep Caroline out of their lives, who was she to argue?
“Hey,” a soft, deep voice murmured behind her ear. She gasped as two arms wrapped around her waist.
Nikki’s first thought was to look around them to make sure no one was watching, but apparently, Mateo had no such concerns. He pulled her back against his chest, and his warm breath sent goosebumps pebbling across her skin.
“Is everything okay?”
She pulled at his hands, breathless. “Mateo, you… what are we…” Her voice was lost when she felt him nibbling at the skin of her neck. “We… is this smart?” she whispered. “Anyone could see—Paxton?—”
“I’m tired of hiding what I feel for you,” he responded without hesitation. “We’ve been dancing around this relationship of ours, and I’m certain everyone knows anyway. No one has lodged any complaints. We might as well make it official.”
“What does that mean?” Her breath hitched in her chest as her grip on his arms relaxed and she allowed herself to lean into him. Whatever it was, she was ready. He was right. While sneaking around had its merits, she was more than willing to move on to the next phase of their relationship.
“My family is having a game night tonight.”
She stilled, attempting to turn in his arms, but his hold on her tightened. “Okay,” she drawled. “Is there a reason you’re telling me this?”
He chuckled, sending a fresh wave of chills erupting down her spine. Just the sound of him was enough to affect her, but combine it with his touch? And her legs felt like a goopy mess. If he wasn’t holding her, she might have literally melted into a puddle on the ground.
“Mateo,” she whispered in warning when his teeth grazed against the shell of her ear.
“I want you to come,” he said. “You and Paxton.”
“But it’s a family game night.”
“And one day you, might be part of it.”
He couldn’t be saying what she thought he was saying. She didn’t want to allow herself to believe it. This was all happening so fast. It was too soon, right? And yet she’d known him for so long. She’d just only recently stolen his affection.
Would she really be rushing things if she allowed herself to give in to this man who had swept her off her feet and allowed her to believe in love again?
This time when she turned in his arms, he welcomed it.
“Come with me to game night. I’m pretty certain that my siblings know what’s going on between us, but I want to make it official.”
He wanted to lay claim on her publicly. That had to mean something. She smiled, unable to help herself as she lifted her palm to his cheeks. Before she could utter a word, Paxton’s voice broke through the quiet.
“Are you guys going to kiss?”
Mateo grimaced comically, and she turned to find her son with a wrinkled nose and his head tilted with curiosity. He didn’t look upset, so at least they had that going for them. It was more of a concern if anything. Her heart twisted in her chest, and she hoped that wasn’t an indication that he’d been aware of everything that she’d gone through when it came to the men in her life.
“Yeah,” Mateo announced, to which Nikki gasped. “Because I like your mom a lot. Is that okay with you?”
She whacked him with her fingertips and shifted to move away from him, but his hold remained firm yet again. Her eyes shifted to her son and she waited, holding her breath to hear his answer.
Paxton took in a deep breath and let it out his nose as if he had to concentrate hard on what he was thinking about. Then he heaved a sigh. “I guess.”
Well, that wasn’t a “no,” but it didn’t feel like Paxton was completely on board with this situation, and she couldn’t figure out why. He adored Mateo. Wouldn’t he be thrilled about the idea of them being together?
Before she had much of a chance to think about what was coming next, Mateo grasped her face in both of his hands and promptly kissed her forehead.
Relief and disappointment burned through her, followed by amusement as Paxton laughed at Mateo’s antics. She smiled at her son, then lifted her adoring gaze to the man who knew how to read the room.
They did learn one thing, though. Paxton’s feelings about their relationship would need to be worked through. She needed to figure out what was bothering him so they could tackle it head-on.
Mateo released her and turned his attention to Paxton. “We’re having game night in the living room tonight. You want to join?”
Paxton’s focus shifted to his mother with question. “Can we, Mom?”
“Of course, sweetie. I think it sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”
Her son grinned wider. “Yeah. It does.”
* * *
Nikki could feel every single pair of eyes on her as she sat beside Mateo on the couch. Her hand was in his as he spoke.
“Since we have guests, we should ask them what they want to play tonight.” He squeezed her hand, then gave Paxton a wink. “What do you say, kid? What are we playing tonight?”
Paxton glanced around the room, eyes wide as he took in Mateo’s family. It wasn’t that he was nervous. Nikki knew that expression. This was something else. Awe perhaps? She didn’t have any siblings, and neither had Dennis. Whenever they spent time as a family, it was just the three of them. And here her son sat among seven adults who were giving him their undivided attention. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, then glanced at her. “Can we play Pictionary?”
At least two of Mateo’s siblings groaned. Three of them grinned.
Mateo chuckled. “Absolutely.”
They spent a good couple of hours playing the game. Mateo picked Paxton to be on his team every single time. Nikki could see her son coming out of his shell more and the admiration Paxton had for Mateo returning.
Every so often, Mateo would catch her attention and wink at her, making all kinds of fluttering feelings explode in her chest. No matter how much she tried to squash them down and remind herself that just because times were good right now didn’t mean they always would be. Things could change in an instant. All she could do was enjoy the time she had with this amazing man and not plan too far into the future—if only to keep her heart safe.
By the end of the night, Paxton and Mateo were in the lead. Sophia and Nikki worked together, and Nikki got the feeling Sophia wanted to say something but kept whatever it was to herself. The other siblings pulled in lower scores and eventually called it quits.
“Rematch,” Camilla and Isabella insisted as one.
Mateo smirked, pulling Paxton to his side with an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sure we can wipe the floor with you again. This kid is a whiz at drawing.”
Paxton had a beautiful glow about him as he stared up at Mateo, and Nikki’s heart constricted. He’d never looked at Dennis that way. Then again, Dennis hadn’t been all that interested in being a father. He’d been kind—but that was where his affection ended. He hadn’t wanted to adopt her son. He hadn’t wanted to raise him.
Nikki’s eyes shifted to Mateo, wondering just how involved he would be if they were to do as he’d suggested earlier and start a family.
Something told her things would be very different than they’d been with Dennis, and she couldn’t say she’d ever be disappointed by that.
He caught her eye and smiled. She returned it with one of her own. Yes, she could definitely see a future with him. And he’d make a wonderful father, too.