Chapter 21
21
Nikki
N ikki couldn’t breathe. Her brain had ceased to communicate with her lungs as it was wholly distracted by what she was staring at. Rubbing her eyes wouldn’t help, no matter how much she wished it could. Her worst fears had come to fruition, and now she was left a hollow shell of herself, not knowing what to do.
She spun from the sight of Mateo and Caroline sitting at a table in the coffee shop where she was supposed to be meeting Caroline in about five minutes. There was no way this wasn’t planned. Caroline must have somehow figured out that Nikki was involved with Mateo. This was Caroline’s way of showing just how superior she was.
Chatter, car engines, and other sounds felt like they were coming from somewhere far away. Her ears weren’t picking up the subtle nuances of the city with all the blood rushing in her head. Heat crawled and seared beneath her skin as she slinked away from the door in desperate search for somewhere to hide. She couldn’t be caught staring. That was what they wanted. And yet she couldn’t just bail, either.
Caroline was a conniving woman who knew how to get what she wanted, and she wanted Nikki’s pain.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Nikki gulped in breath after breath as she leaned against the building in an alleyway. She’d wait for Mateo to leave. She’d have her coffee with Caroline. And then…
Then, what ?
It wasn’t like she had anywhere to go. This job at the ranch had been the best option for her. It provided her with a place to stay, food, and even childcare for the most part. There was nowhere else she could have possibly gone to get the deal she had now.
The heat in her face intensified as she considered what would happen if she stayed. She’d have to see Mateo every day. She might even have to witness him with Caroline again. Dread filled her. She couldn’t believe he’d go back to her.
Maybe he hadn’t.
That desperate thought wriggled its way into her heart and took root.
Maybe she’d walked in on something that he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for. That was possible, right?
Nikki wanted to cry. No, she wanted to scream. She wanted to march right back to that coffee shop and confront the two of them—demanding answers.
Okay, no, she didn’t.
A groan burst from her lips, and that sick feeling in her stomach returned. She didn’t have the courage to confront the two of them—at least not together. She didn’t think she’d be able to stand seeing the look of guilt on Mateo’s face as he told her he was sorry but he was still in love with his ex-fiancée.
Nikki covered her face with her hands and focused on her breathing, not caring that people wandered past the alley and gave her strange looks. She’d go into that shop as planned. She’d tell Caroline to crawl back into the hole that she’d clawed herself out of. Then she’d tell Caroline that she’d lost.
Her hands dropped to her sides, and she turned toward the entrance of the alley. Slowly, she crept to the edge, her eyes sweeping along the street in search of Mateo. There was no sign of him. Hesitantly, she emerged from the alleyway and strode toward the coffee shop, stopping at the edge of the large windows that let in all the natural light the shop could ever need.
Immediately, her focus landed on Caroline. She was alone.
Thank goodness.
Her lungs filled slowly, and she exhaled as she moved with purpose to the door and pulled it open. She ignored the line for coffee, her stomach swirling too much to allow her any sort of food or drink, and she marched right up to the woman who had only ever done more damage than good.
Caroline’s eyes darted upward as soon as Nikki’s shadow crossed over the table. Her eyes brightened, and her perfectly painted, red lips curled into a grin that Nikki knew all too well.
Nikki opened her mouth to let her have it, but Caroline cut her off.
“Did you know that Mateo lives here?” Caroline didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s insane. I never thought he’d be the kind of guy to settle so far from his folks. He’d always talked about working on a ranch… but owning one?” Her voice was tainted with a sort of desire—no, coveting—that only made Nikki’s stomach turn more. “He’s done really well for himself.” Caroline’s shrewd gaze flitted up to Nikki. “Well? Are you going to sit down? You’re hurting my neck making me stare up at you like that.”
Fingernails bit into Nikki’s hands, a deep-seated sense of protectiveness pulsing through her body. Caroline didn’t want Mateo back because he was the one who got away. She wanted him back because he had some other value to her. “You’ve seen him?” Nikki said, her voice holding an edge that apparently Caroline didn’t hear.
She nodded, her smile widening even more. “Today, actually. We got coffee. And he gave me these.” She reached for the bouquet of flowers at her side and brought them to her nose, inhaling deeply. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”
Nikki stared at the flowers skeptically. “He did?”
For once, Caroline looked offended. “You don’t think he would get me flowers?”
Oh, how Nikki wanted to wring this woman’s neck. Instead, she feigned nonchalance and shrugged. “You did leave him at the altar.”
Caroline’s eyes narrowed venomously for a moment, and then she flashed a wide smile. “There’s something to be said about irresistibility. You see, some guys know what they want, and even if their heart is ripped from their chest, they’ll keep going back to it. I’m that something for Mateo.”
Nikki scoffed. She’d see about that. The second she had a chance, she’d ask Mateo what he thought of Caroline.
But hadn’t she already tried bringing up his ex before? He’d brushed her off so many times she’d lost count. Did that mean something? Was he hiding how broken up he still was over her?
Caroline’s sharp gaze cut through Nikki’s defenses as she let out a bark of laughter. “What is that sound for? Do you think you’d have a chance with him?”
Nikki avoided Caroline’s gaze. Once upon a time, she’d thought she had a shot. But looking at those flowers, she wasn’t so sure anymore.
The wretch of a woman must have noticed her attention on the flowers because she waved them in front of Nikki’s face. “You don’t believe that he’d get me flowers, do you?” She plucked the card from the little plastic holder that had been shoved among the arrangement and flicked it in Nikki’s direction. “All you have to do is read that to know I’m telling you the truth.”
The card had landed front side down. Nikki itched to flip it over and read what he wrote to Caroline, but she was too terrified to reach for it.
Caroline groaned, her patience worn thin as she reached forward and turned the card over. “See? It’s there in black and white. For the girl from my past, and the one I want in my future.” It was undeniable. And the worst part was that he’d signed his name at the bottom. “That’s me. Who else could it be?” Caroline sniped.
She made an excellent point. Mateo hadn’t dated anyone else in high school. Nikki couldn’t recall anyone else who would fit the note.
“I’m gonna win him back. Because who wouldn’t want someone like me?”
At that, Nikki eyed the woman who used to be her friend. Caroline was still beautiful. She might have had some work done—Botox, maybe. She was still slender or toned, and she was nothing like Nikki. If she was who Mateo wanted, there was no way Nikki would stand a chance. That knowledge deflated any ounce of fight she had left.
“I see you haven’t really taken care of yourself.” Caroline’s words snapped Nikki from her despair. Her eyes swept over Nikki with a curl to her lip. “Maybe if you did, you would be married by now.”
“I was married,” Nikki muttered.
A huff of laughter escaped from Caroline. “But you’re not anymore?”
“We got a divorce. What about you? Doesn’t seem like the guy you chose over Mateo is in your life anymore.”
Caroline flipped her hand dismissively. “Yeah, well, I left him . A long time ago, actually. She returned her focus to Nikki with curiosity. “You dating anyone? Or is the divorce still weighing on you?” She pouted out her lower lip as if she really cared, but Nikki knew better. She was fishing for more information—more she could hold over Nikki.
“I am dating someone, actually.” Just the thought of Mateo, though, struck her in the chest with an ache that wouldn’t ease. Nikki rubbed at the spot above her heart, but that didn’t help matters at all.
“Well, if you’re not careful, it could end the same way your divorce did. Maybe you should go to the gym more. Cut some calories.” She gave her a pointed look. “Guys like it when you take care of yourself, you know. They might humor you in the beginning, but if they can tell that you’re not going to change, they’re on to the next person.”
“Is that how you felt about Mateo?”
Caroline cast such a dark look in Nikki’s direction that it might have burned her if she had been any closer. “Mateo didn’t want to change. He was content to let life pass him by. He didn’t have dreams or plans for his future besides working with his folks on a ranch with other guys who didn’t graduate from college.” She shrugged. “So I left. And guess what? It worked. Mateo picked himself up by his bootstraps and made something of himself.”
Nikki hated how Caroline could rationalize what she’d done to Mateo. She’d cheated on him, for heaven’s sake. This wasn’t just a matter of her leaving. “Have you ever considered that Mateo might have gone and made something of himself with you by his side?”
She seemed to think on Nikki’s words a bit, tapping her finger on her lip before she shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know.” Caroline shifted her attention to the flowers and allowed her fingertips to graze the petals of a carnation. Then her eyes lit up, and she turned to Nikki. “I’m going to be here for at least a week. We should catch up while I’m here. You know, pick up where we left off.”
Nothing sounded worse than spending more unnecessary time with this woman. She was like an illness that Nikki couldn’t seem to cut from her life. She opened her mouth to say as much, but the phone on the table to Caroline’s right flashed and buzzed.
Caroline didn’t even hesitate before picking up the phone and turning it over to see who was calling. Any normal friend would have declined the call, sent it to voicemail, or asked if it was okay to answer it while out with someone else.
But not Caroline.
She simply answered the call and held up a finger to Nikki.
“Sarah! Hey! It’s been forever. How are you doing?”
Based on that answer alone, Nikki knew the call would drag on. She knew Caroline had all but dismissed her. The longer she sat in front of Caroline, the more she hated that she’d allowed herself to get wrapped up in a friendship with her in the first place.
Caroline was no friend of hers.
Nikki sighed, slipping out of the chair where she sat. “Goodbye, Caroline.”
Her friend waved a hand at her. “Oh my gosh, I know, right? Who would have ever predicted that?”
Nikki didn’t look back as she slipped from the coffee shop and headed for her car. Well, that meeting couldn’t have gone more wrong if she’d planned for it.