Chapter 2
Creon
Night Shade Bear Territory
I expected to walk to Barry and Xenos’s house alone, but I’d barely made it into the thick of the trees surrounding the community before I smelled Barry and his raspberry chocolate bars.
I glanced up to find him sitting in a tree.
Tightening the strap on my bag, I climbed up to join him.
The look on his face told me Xenos had informed him about the reason behind my sudden visit.
“This wasn’t the way I wanted you to find out,” I said.
“From my mate?” he arched a brow and broke me off a piece of the bar.
I took it and popped it into my mouth, trying not to think about how the world would be different if Uriel hadn’t been forced to be with Hans.
I was on okay terms with Barry now. It’d taken me decades to get there.
He still wasn’t my favorite person in the world but that wasn’t his fault.
He reminded me so much of the Uriel I knew briefly.
If the world had been different, I’d probably see him every holiday and we’d be friends because of how close twins could be.
Barry sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk. I wasn’t sure which link he used to pick up my thoughts, but he wasn’t very impressed with the thought of being close to Uriel.
“It could’ve happened if things were different,” I shrugged.
“Unless we have evidence that he’s running amok or going to kill someone I’m not hunting him down, Creon,” Barry cut to the chase.
“I get it. Hunting him down before he can hurt anyone makes sense in your head, but it’s playing directly into what the universe wants.
We’re all merely objects in motion, trying to stay in motion and every time we’re treated a certain way we go faster.
Treating a could-be monster like a monster serves that purpose.
Now, if you wanted to find him because you’re desperately in love still – that I would help you with even if I thought it would lead to a devastating heart break again.
I would not deny even a reborn monster his true-mate unless he harmed them. ”
“I…” I blushed. I wasn’t supposed to miss Uriel. I wasn’t supposed to keep playing everything out in my head over and over. I would never try to justify what he did but sometimes I liked to imagine us taking on the bad leadership together and tearing them asunder. He’d lived through so much…
“Don’t worry. It’s not something I’d talk to anyone else about.
I’m not poly. I’m not made for it. Xenos is mine.
If I died and he lived, I’d want him to find someone to love him.
If I was reborn and found them together, I’d hope that I could learn to love the other guy too.
I’m not saying Uriel is different from how he was before.
I’m just saying because I’m not currently poly that doesn’t mean I don’t understand how these things could come to be.
There is nothing I’d deny my mate,” Barry said and we were both quiet for a long time.
“I don’t think Kodiak and Silas would go for it.”
“I think you’d be surprised at what men in love will go for,” Barry laughed. “Only, I don’t know if we’ll ever have to cross that bridge. We might never cross paths with him.”
“You’re so calm about this,” I frowned, holding out my hand for another bite of his bar. He handed me a wrapped one instead.
“Because we don’t know who he is now. If my ancestors said he could come back, I’ll trust their judgment until he proves them wrong,” Barry said.
“I just…”
“Just what?” Barry asked, running his fingers through his hair.
“I want to know who he was before all the bullshit. I want to know WHY I chose him,” I groaned.
“Xenos thought you might say that,” Barry said and I blinked.
“What? Does he have a time machine now?” I sighed. “There is no denying that your mate is incredible, but I don’t think even he---”
“The answers are technically inside of you. He’s been corresponding with someone from the Starscales and they have their own version of storing memories collectively, but the truth is the memories are inside us all.
They’re coded into the very stuff our souls are made of.
Usually, they’re locked away pretty good.
So good that usually they’re discovered by trauma or magic and almost exclusively by accident.
Only since Uriel remembers his past life with you, if rumors are to be believed, that means your bonded pair has the capability to remember.
He thinks he can guide you back to those memories. ”
“How long have you two been discussing this?” I asked, glad I was sitting down because my knees wobbled.
“About you and Uriel? Only since the phone call. In general? For years. It makes sense that some magic crosses through the true-mate link. It makes sense that whoever you’re bonded with would share magic with you and vice versa.
Don’t you think we’re curious as to how we started out too?
Mated for the Holidays aren’t the only ones who have made it a hobby to try and figure things out.
I mean, Xenos can explain all this better than me, but for you it would probably feel like a guided meditation or a trance. It might not even work.”
“Do I get to think about it?” I asked.
“We’re not going to make you do anything.
It’s not like that. It’s just something we could do,” Barry said.
“I can’t give you a do over with him from his last life.
I can’t promise he’s not going to be a monster in this life.
I hope he’s not. I hope that he gets whatever he missed out on before.
This? This little ritual? This is something Xenos and I can give you. ”
“Sometimes I wonder why you two were so different,” I frowned.
“We weren’t. I killed him, didn’t I?” Barry huffed.
“Plus, I’d kill someone over Xenos. I would.
I don’t know what jumbled up Uriel’s brain, Creon.
I don’t know. I keep wondering what would’ve happened if he just came to me and told ---” he stopped himself and took another bite of one of the bars.
“That doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m me and he was himself. That’s all there is to it.”
“If I do this, is it just some part of an experiment?” I asked.
“It’s experimental because we don’t know that it’ll work the way Xenos expects.
Are we offering it because we want to know?
” Barry asked. “No. We’re offering it because you’re family and we’ve watched as you’ve grown into yourself and your life.
We don’t want you to lose that because of some reincarnated jackass. ”
Barry jumped down and I followed him. Had I been with Kodiak, he’d have caught me.
I didn’t need to be caught but the absence of him waiting to catch me around the waist when I jumped made me wonder what the hell I was doing here.
I could walk straight back through the Other World gateway and go home.
It was what a smart man might’ve done but I needed answers.
We didn’t say anything else about the ritual as we walked back to Barry’s house but we both knew I was going to do it.
How could I not? Despite what Uriel had been, I had a him-shaped hole inside me just as every person separated from their true-mate had.