Chapter 34
Peony
She had killed someone.
Sure, it was someone that was trying to hurt Temnavi and herself, but that didn't make the sickness in her gut any easier to keep down.
She couldn't even kill bugs in her house.
She always trapped them in a cup and let them free outside.
If someone had asked her two days ago if she thought herself capable of killing, even in a life or death or situation, she would have emphatically assured them that she definitely could not.
But yesterday, she had carved out a male's throat and then clung to him until he died.
And now, today, she sat in Atem's lap as he told her that his people were as eager to hear her story as they had been to hear his.
The domini were a warring people. They didn't understand why she felt sick right now.
When she tried to explain to Donivi when he came in, he had said something about not understanding her species' psychology.
Temnavi felt no regret or unease. He was bragging to his friends about his role, about how ferocious she had become in his defense, about how proud their Dominani was of him. He had looked at her oddly when she could barely breathe through her initial adrenaline crash.
There was no freak out period post traumatic experience for them. They were excited. The death of an enemy was to be celebrated. Her first kill was to be lauded. Why should she feel sick to her stomach at the idea of killing someone?
She now fully understood and appreciated their decision to adopt that philosophy book to guide their decisions if killing came so easily and naturally to them.
The idea of going in front of a crowd and rehashing that horrific moment terrified her.
But she also understood how important story telling was in their culture. They considered it their privilege to hear her tell it. Denying them that was probably insulting. Still…
“Will you be there with me?” She asked Atem, unable to consider doing this by herself.
Atem kissed her hand, the same hand that he always held. “Of course, vi Seerin. It would be my honor.”
An hour or so later, wearing the same clothes she had worn at the market, bloodstains and all, she appeared with Atem at the same balcony he first took her to. Large combots, recording and projecting her image across the planet, focused on her as the people gathered below cheered excitedly.
A big part of the story telling process was to present yourself as a warrior.
For the domini, that would have included wearing the injuries of the fight as well.
But that was suspended for life threatening injuries and Atem would not hear of her actively bleeding any longer than necessary, even if she had fought so hard against their attempts to heal her.
Going straight from the horror of being attacked to her greatest phobia was too much for her.
She had hurt herself further struggling to get away.
Fighting against Donivi at the healing center had been how Atem had found her.
Subjecting herself to their machine, as small as it was, for as short a time as she had, still overwhelmed her completely.
And now, with barely any time to recover, she was expected to make a big public speech wearing clothes covered in her own blood.
This culture was so weird.
But she didn't want to insult the people and if this was going to be her home, she had to make efforts to fit in.
Besides, what were the odds she would ever have to do this again? She could suck it up for a one time thing.
She was not a good public speaker. She stumbled over her words.
Atem had to step in multiple times to embellish her descriptions or take over when she faltered.
The people loved it. They cheered her on when she became nervous or stuttered.
They roared in approval for Atem when he didn't let her try to keep her explanation modest and humble.
Nope. This was supposed to be as braggadocious as possible. Humans were expected to tone down this kind of thing for the sake of not sounding egotistical. Domini had no such compunctions and Atem wouldn't allow her to diminish her accomplishments.
By the time the ordeal was over, having gone so fast that Peony barely remembered what happened, she wasn't even sure she recognized the story.
Atem had described her as a ferocious warrior, capable of battling even with debilitating wounds.
He praised her maternal instincts to so fiercely protect Temnavi and her cleverness in using a broken clay cup as a weapon.
It definitely didn't sound that amazing while it was happening.
Afterwards, she was only too eager to shed the bloody clothes. She honestly didn't care if they were burned, she never wanted to wear them again.
Sensing her distress, Atem bundled her back into his arms, nude but for her underwear, and settled with her on their bed. He leaned against the headboard this time, holding her between his legs.
“You did so well. Thank you for doing it,” he said, kissing the side of her head.
“I'll admit, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.” She sighed, relaxing into his warmth. The horrors of the last day didn't seem so bad with him there.
She had barely slept last night. It had been late by the time she was taken from the market, past midnight when Atem arrived and calmed her enough to be healed. She slept fitfully and woke alone because Atem had to see to his duties as Dominani.
But he was holding her now and made no indication that he was eager to leave.
“Will you tell me why you fear healers so?” He asked, changing the subject. Probably to try to distract her as much as find out the answer.
She blew out a long breath. “I got sick a lot when I was younger. I had a bunch of ear infections until they had to put tubes in my ears. And then they fell out, but the infections came back, so I had to have them replaced. My intestines did this weird thing where they telescoped or something? The doctor said they kind of tried to overlap themselves and that had to be repaired. Then I would get so many strep infections they had to take my tonsils. I had to get my appendix taken out when it burst, and my wisdom teeth removed even before they came in. I hated the surgery process and recovery always sucked a lot. I swear they just kept happening back-to-back. Being around doctors, er, healers and stuff always freaks me out now.”
Atem frowned. “We don't do so much surgery here. Such things are only done in emergency without access to proper equipment. You won't ever be in such a position again.”
She smiled. “I really like that idea. Doubt it's going to help much. I'm probably always going to be afraid of healers and medical procedures.”
Atem looked thoughtful for a moment before smirking and tightening his hold. “Then, I shall just have to endeavor that you never need to visit a healer again. No further injuries or illness for you.”
She laughed, snuggling back against him. “That sounds like a great plan.”
He held her that way until she dozed, and then he laid back with her. Although it was the middle of the day, the exhaustion combined with his soothing presence sent her into a deep, dreamless sleep.