Chapter 42
Peony
“Girls, what does a panic attack feel like?!”
Peony's frantic question turned everyone's head towards her. Their gazes felt like razors on her overly sensitive skin as she paced up and down and sideways and diagonal and over and over again, across the common room of their suite.
“Cold feet?” Hattie asked, smiling with understanding.
Temnavi, sitting beside her, eating blood jelly spread over a roasted mushroom slice the size of his hand, frowned. “What does her feet being cold have to do with anything?”
Peony groaned as Hattie tried to explain the human saying to the young male – made complicated by the fact that Hattie didn't actually know why nervousness was referred to as cold feet. Peony barely heard their conversation because she was pretty sure she was losing her mind.
And she had no idea why!
She was getting married today. Or the alien equivalent. And she was so freaking excited that she could barely breathe! Or maybe that the panic attack. But she wanted this. And she was eager to go through this weird, informal, but still important thing.
So why did she feel like scratching her skin off as she ran screaming?!
The domini didn't have the concept of a wedding.
Partially because mating was a biological thing, not a bureaucratic one so they didn't need red tape, and partially because they had no concept of a line of succession here, so formal wedding vows had never developed as a thing to make sure that heirs were legitimate.
Nothing was passed through bloodlines. When a person died, their closest family members might claim something sentimental of theirs, but their wealth and possessions were otherwise turned over to a government authority overseen by the guardians that used them for the good of the planet and people as a whole.
A big deal was made of earning everything, including your name, so nothing was passed down.
And since first-born males or heirs weren't a thing, marriage to make sure those kids actually belonged to the male that sired them also wasn't a thing.
Instead, they had the claiming and retrieval.
Domini lived in family groups and, when the one who would be domin in a relationship chose their mate, they retrieved their adassi to either join their family or start their own. And that retrieval was largely literal.
Atem was coming to get Peony. To literally drag her away.
Not quite kicking and screaming, but definitely caveman style.
Doing so meant he would need to fight two battles.
First, he would have to defeat her guardian.
That would traditionally be a parent or sibling – someone in her family that was stronger than her and that she relied upon to protect her.
Then, he would have to defeat her in combat – like that wasn't already a given.
The first battle was almost like the father handing the bride to the groom at the end of the aisle.
A transference of the responsibility of protection.
The second battle was what officially decided who would be the domin and who would be the adassi.
Again, despite it being incredibly obvious, it was traditional.
The point wasn't to harm either combatant, but it was just a thing left over from ancient times that had more sentimental value than anything these days.
Peony had separated from Atem yesterday so that her ‘family’ could prepare for his retrieval.
There was even traditional garb. He would be coming to her in camocloth since he was approaching as a warrior.
Meanwhile, she had a plain, brown dress made of a waterproof fabric and a fur cape that were both supposed to serve as the base of the nest she would have to build.
It was hardly a white gown, but Peony felt weirdly caveman chic wearing it.
It was kind of hot to think that her big bad warrior would be coming to claim her like an animal.
Or it would be, if she wasn't freaking out! For no reason! Why was it so hard to breathe?!? Why wasn't her skin fitting right!? Shewaslosinghermind-
“Okay.” Holly got up from the couch and approached, easily falling in step beside her as she paced in meaningless lines all around the room. Holly took her arm, pulling her in tight.
“It's all right. Let's do some breathing exercises,” she said with the easy confidence of someone who had needed to do those exercises a hundred times over already.
“Those are some crazy bridal jitters,” Hattie said, watching the two of them walk together as Holly talked Peony through breathing counts that were doing exactly nothing to help.
Alanna, curled up on one of the lounge cushions, turned a page in her digital copy of the Omoni Otorsi that was being shown as a hologram book by her combot. “Did you know there's a whole chapter in here just in how a domin is supposed to treat his adassi. And visa versa?”
“Anything interesting?” Scarlet asked, leaning over the back to look at the page.
“Yeah. There's a whole list of punishments for someone who uses violence against their partner. They start with genital scarring. See?” Alanna grinned, holding it up for Scarlet to grimace at.
“I feel like the pictures were unnecessary,” she said, holding up her hand to block the image.
“But it's girls and guys. You wanted equal treatment, right?” Alanna laughed wickedly.
“Guys.” Holly gave them a look as Peony panted like she was in labor. “Not helping. Peony, that's definitely not the breathing counts.”
“Sorry.” Scarlet stood straight. “Peony, what's worrying you so much?”
“Nothing?!” She near shouted. “I don't know! I just want to run screaming. Is that weird?!”
“A bit, yeah,” Hattie chuckled as she handed Temnavi a cloth napkin to clean the blood jam from his hands now that he finished eating. “Do you not want to do this?”
“No, I do! I'm so happy! I just...” Peony's voice trailed off as she struggled to find a way to explain the weird and powerful feeling that was clutching her heart in her chest like a fist.
It had begun yesterday. She wasn't sure exactly when.
She just knew that, at some point while hanging out with the girls, she had become aware of just how oddly uncomfortable she felt.
And it had only been getting worse each hour.
Building slowly until she was on the verge of just curling into a ball inside a closet in the hopes that the dark, quiet space might provide some sense of security against the absolutely nothing that was making her panic.
“Breathe slowly,” Holly reminded her, walking with her. “It's an anxiety attack. I get them all the time. Or I used to. I haven't had one since Donivi played around in my head with that magic ring of his.”
“It's not magic.” Scarlet interjected. “It works by using highly targeted magnetism, nanowave manipulation, and radiation to alter genetic and biochemical-”
“Scarlet.” Holly gave her a look, silencing her. Peony's breathing was picking back up.
“Ah. Yeah. Sorry, Peony. Maybe we can figure out what's bothering you and fix it. So, what exactly is making you most anxious right now?”
Peony groaned, her eyes looking around for something. But she wasn't sure what. “I don't know. I just feel like something is off. Like, wrong. You know?”
“Like that feeling you get in a haunted house?” Alanna asked brightly. “Restless spirits can cause that.”
“Oh, great.” Hattie snickered. “Our room is haunted.”
“Don't tell her that,” Holly grumbled. “Peony, do the breathing counts. And don't worry about the cause. Sometimes, there isn't one. The adrenaline rush just hits you out of nowhere and it feels like you've hit the panic button without a panic.”
“Yeah, that exactly!”
“That's called anxiety. Maybe you should let Donivi take a look.”
“No!” Peony's anxiety spiked higher at even the thought. “I am definitely not subjecting myself to that.”
“But he can fix it. I literally haven't had a single episode of depression since he cured me. He cured depression, Peony.” Holly gave her a searching look.
“And you were the only one of us not scanned. It could be something bad. You promised you would see him if you started feeling weird. This qualifies.”
Peony grumbled, not wanting to be reminded of the promise she had made only to avoid being scanned.
“It's just... bridal jitters,” she lied earning four dull looks and a curious one from Temnavi.
She let out a sigh. “Okay! Fine! If it gets worse or if I have another one, I'll go see Donivi.
All right? But I'm fine. It's just a weird reaction to the wedding thing.
I'm the first human to ever marry an alien! Mate an alien. Whatever. I think that deserves some reaction!”
Temnavi gave her an odd look. “Peony, if you don't think you're Atem's mate-”
“No, I do! I believe it. Wholeheartedly. I'm 100% down.”
“But you're standing up.”
“Never mind. The point is, I'm sure. Absolutely sure. I'm just having a weird moment. I don't need medical attention. I certainly don't need the magic radiation ring of death.”
“It's not even that bad,” Scarlet mumbled. “It's safer than an ultrasound.”
“But I don't need it! I just need-”
The door chimed, cutting her off. Her heart leapt with excitement, because there was only one person that could be.
“I got it!” Temnavi yelled, jumping up. “Peony, go stand back there with the others.”
Hattie chuckled as Holly pulled Peony towards the back of the room.
Temnavi, chest thrust forward, his tail stiff with nerves he otherwise didn't show, approached the door and hit the panel to slide it open.
On the other side, Atem, absolutely sexy in his military camocloth, looked down at his ward in surprise.
Tuvo, a step behind him, bit his knuckle to stifle the chuckles as they both realized what was happening.
Peony had chosen Temnavi as her guardian.