Chapter 29 #2
“No. I’m serious. You can check the forums. Romi showed me this morning.
It was split pretty even between us. And the males that preferred you, they kept saying how much they liked how soft and curvy you are.
So, you’re not Tuvo’s type? So what? Screw him.
You’re plenty of other domini’s, and they would jump at the chance to be your male. ”
Hattie chuckled, biting her lip. “I know you’re right. Plenty of fish in the sea is so cliché, but I guess it wouldn’t have become a cliché if it wasn’t true, right?”
“Exactly.” Holly beamed approvingly, lifting her own cupcake. “Whatever you want to do, whatever healthy coping mechanism you want to pursue, I’m with you all the way. But no more starving yourself. Okay?”
Hattie laughed and lifted her own cupcake, knocking it against Holly’s like they were clinking shot glasses.
Holly beamed and brought the tiny treat to her mouth and, making sure Hattie did it too, pushed it past her teeth.
It was just a bit too big to be a proper bite and the two of them laughed as they struggled to chew and swallow.
It was definitely still a recipe in progress.
The jam/icing was too sweet, the cake was dry and crumbly like a cookie, and it had a weird aftertaste.
But it was more about the promise that cupcake represented, and Hattie swallowing it successfully, than the taste.
Light returned to her eyes as she licked her lips clean of the crumbs and they laughed together.
Holly would have helped Hattie eat the whole tray if that’s what it took to get her point across.
“Thanks, Holly,” Hattie smiled. ‘I think I got too into my own head.”
Holly grinned, leaning back in her lounge. “That’s what friends are for. No more meal skipping, all right?”
“Promise.”
The door slid open at that moment, Scarlet and Alanna stepping through quickly. Both of them looked between Holly and Hattie.
“Did we miss it?” Alanna asked, a smile forming.
“I think we’re good.” Holly grinned at Hattie who was struggling not to smile back.
“Were you guys staging an intervention or something?”
Scarlet crossed the room and sat on Hattie’s other side, still wearing her healer’s uniform. “If you’re determined to lose weight, I’m happy to help you. But don’t change yourself for a guy. Especially not one you don’t even get to keep.”
Hattie threw back her head and laughed as Alanna sat on Holly’s other side, immediately reaching forward and snagging a cupcake for herself.
“The thing is, I like my body.” Hattie beamed, looking down at herself. “I like food. I like cooking. I love feeding people and seeing them be happy as they eat. And that means I usually carry more weight. And I’m okay with that. I like my curves. I just kind of forgot because of… everything.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you,” Alanna said as Scarlet picked up a cupcake as well and sniffed at it curiously. “The domini don’t really think in terms of ‘skinny equals attractive’. If anything, muscular is more beautiful. But they really don’t care.”
“Come on,” Holly scoffed as Alanna tossed the other half of her cupcake in her mouth. “They must have some preference. Some kind of beauty standard.”
Alanna held up a finger to give herself a second as she finished chewing and swallowing. Scarlet tried a bite of the cupcake and made a face as she forced herself to swallow the bite before setting it down with an apologetic glance at Hattie who was snickering at the reaction.
“Beauty standards at large are different here,” Alanna continued when her mouth was clear.
“And by ‘here’ I mean the greater universe. With their medical scanners and enough time, they could alter someone’s physical appearance easily.
And they do. I read about it in the Coalition notes on what happens when a new species joins.
When a new species gets access to that technology, their idea of beauty becomes easy to achieve for everyone, so everyone starts looking that way.
But that means that, within a few years, everyone starts to look the same.
And after that, the standards will change.
Usually to something crazy. Or it skips that step and goes right to natural beauty. ”
“Are you messing with us?” Hattie asked skeptically.
Alanna shook her head, beaming. “No, really!
There are models, domini and alien, that are part of the greater universe, and those who are the most popular are the ones who can boast having no cosmetic work done.
When everyone looks the same, suddenly no one is attractive anymore.
So, after that initial bump, it becomes more attractive to be yourself.
“When the domini look at us, they see exotic, sexy aliens, sure. But they also see females that have no work done. We are completely ourselves. And they’re really into that.
Skinny, fat, tall, short, black, white. It’s the authenticity they like.
The diversity. They aren’t saying they’re into your curves to be nice, Hattie.
They mean it. And conversely, Tuvo didn’t mean anything by it when he said he wasn’t into you.
He wasn’t calling you ugly or anything. He just wouldn’t think that way.
Take away the human thought process. Think like a domini, and you can understand that he really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
He probably feels awful. For what it’s worth. ”
As she was talking, the door had slid open again – this time admitting Peony and Atem. They heard the tail end of Alanna’s explanation and Atem grunted in agreement.
“He does feel awful. As he should,” he growled. “And my offer to destroy him still stands. He may be my brother as you are my sister, Hattie, but being your guardian is a more important task and I will gladly fight for you over this.”
“Thanks, Atem,” Hattie smiled warmly. “But I think I’ll pass.”
“He might attempt to make amends later.”
“And I might be willing to accept them. Later.” She shared a look with Holly. “For now, I think I’m going to be done thinking about men. Or males. If my first reaction to that kind of comment is immediately self-destructive, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet.”
She meant after her ex. That if his emotional abuse had left bombs like that in her psyche, she needed to deal with them first before she could open herself to someone else.
She didn’t bring up her ex now, obviously not wanting to announce it to everyone.
Probably to Atem specifically since the domini males tended to get weird when they talked about human men.
But the message came across and Holly smiled supportively.
“Oh, I’m so glad!” Peony clapped her hands together eagerly. “I’m sorry we’re late though. I didn’t mean to miss the intervention.”
“Less an intervention, and more a wakeup call,” Hattie laughed as Atem picked up one of the cupcakes curiously.
He sniffed it, made a face, then passed it to Peony. “You humans eat the oddest things.”
“It’s not a complete recipe yet,” Hattie protested as Peony sniffed the cupcake too. “And it would taste better if I had the right ingredients.”
“Smells a bit weird,” Peony agreed, staring at it curiously before running a finger through the strange fruit whip icing and sticking it in her mouth. She hummed appreciatively earning a growl of desire from Atem.
“I’m with him,” Scarlet shrugged, looking at her half-eaten cupcake. “Not the best recipe you’ve made, Hattie.”
“I didn’t even make it!” She laughed and protested at the same time.
Holly was sitting back, watching them all interact with a smile.
For the first time since leaving Earth, she felt real peace. A real sense of family. They would never be able to replace her Earth family, of course, but nor did losing her Earth family mean that she was forbidden from finding another one to love and cherish.
And that’s what was around her right now. A new family. Cobbled together from broken pieces but one that still combined into a beautiful mosaic of colors and differences that was all the more wonderful for the strange way they came together.
Alanna and Atem were chatting, comparing notes of human and domini ideas of beauty while Peony looked on, forgotten cupcake in her hand, eyes darting between them. She asked Atem if he was happy with her appearance, and he looked startled that she even needed to ask.
On Holly’s other side, Scarlet and Hattie were discussing therapy options.
The healing center did, in fact, offer mental health services and Scarlet was impressed with their methodology.
Since things like depression and psychosis could be cured easily – as Holly had experienced herself – they almost exclusively worked with things like this.
Domini didn’t suffer from things like PTSD.
Their combat-based mindset was literally baked into their DNA and spared them from such things.
However, pains of the heart were still a malady they could, and did, fall victim to just the same.
So, Hattie could be well taken care of. And if she didn’t want to talk to a domini about it, Scarlet was always there to listen.
Hattie did indeed look a bit uneasy but smiled a little at the offer.
The only person missing now was Romival.
The thought of him made Holly’s chest tighten with longing.
Making the bed for him this morning had been such a weirdly intimate thing.
Part of her felt odd to be doing the small chore while he looked on – not helping, just watching.
If he were a human male, she would have wondered why he couldn’t help.
It was a big bed and she had needed to do multiple laps to get everything settled properly.
But that was her thinking like a human. As a domini, he had been giving her a gift – of a sort.
Her making a nest was meaningful for him in a way she wouldn’t expect from a human relationship.
He had made a den, provided supplies for her nest, and wanted her to make that nest. She kept glancing at him as she made the bed and the warmth and desire in his eyes stroked along her skin like a physical touch making her shiver with longing.
A shiver that she felt again now, her belly tightening.
He had promised to come here today. He seemed really concerned about Hattie. Any minute now, the door would open on him.
Her belly tightened again, but it wasn’t so pleasant this time. It was actually kind of… nauseating.
Her brow furrowed as she sat forward, trying to alleviate the odd, burning ache.
She opened her mouth to excuse herself, to escape to the bathroom and hopefully ease the pain but found her throat too tight to draw in a proper breath.
Her hands were shaking. Her belly was rolling, and she felt like she had to puke but her abdomen refused to tense and purge.
What…? Why…?
She looked to Hattie, surprised to find that even moving her eyes in her head was hard. Like the muscles that moved the orbs couldn’t tense.
She caught sight of Hattie out of the corner of her eyes, only to find her with a strange expression on her face. Her lips were moving, gaping like a fish while her tongue lay flat and awkward just inside her lower lip, a trail of drool trickling from the corner of her mouth.
Beyond her, Scarlet had an odd look on her face as well. She had pressed her hand to her belly and was starting to curl over, threatening to fall off the cushion.
Though it was a huge effort, like lifting massive weights just a bit too heavy for her, Holly turned her eyes the other direction.
Alanna was still standing, but she was shaking. Wobbling. Like it was taking all of her strength not to fall to the ground.
Beside her, Atem was saying something to Peony, both of them looking at each other.
Neither of them realizing that the room had gone quiet and still.
Atem was definitely talking, his lips moving, but Holly couldn’t hear him over the rushing in her ears.
She could barely even focus, the tiny muscles in her eyes that normally did so unable to flex.
More horrifyingly, her diaphragm refused to tense either. She couldn’t breathe. The muscle shook and trembled, only the tiniest amount of air barely filling her lungs.
Peony was nodding along with what Atem was saying. Unthinkingly, she raised the innocent appearing cupcake to her lips.
No!
Holly didn’t know where she got the strength. She didn’t even have the ability to breathe properly. But she got to her feet and lunged.
It was messy and clumsy. More of an aimed fall than anything.
But her stretching hand reached just far enough.
She smacked Peony, across the face and hand, knocking the cupcake away just before her teeth could bite into the treat.
“Hey! Holly?!”
Holly grunted as she hit the ground, the coopery taste of blood filled her mouth as the cupcake rolled and smeared on the rug in front of her. A mess, but still uneaten save for that small swipe of icing.
“Holly!”
She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. She was pretty sure she felt someone touching her, but her heart was skipping beats in her chest and her vision was going gray.