Chapter 43
Scarlet
The closing ceremonies for the Coalition gathering took place in the same hall that the opening ceremonies had. The energy was very different, however.
Whereas before, there had been an air of anticipation, now there was a sense of relief, exhaustion, satisfaction, and, for some, defeat.
Scarlet walked around, speaking to the many people she had come to know while she was here, accepting their well wishes for their success, and offering her own in return – or condolences where it was appropriate.
“We are so happy for you!” Fellaseen declared after hugging her excitedly. Four armed hugs were incredible, especially with all that fur. Scarlet felt like she had been swallowed by a soft blanket and it took everything in her not to snuggle into the warmth.
“Thanks, Fellaseen,” Scarlet said when she finally stepped back.
“We knew there was no way you could lose. Especially after seeing the birthing video.” She shuddered.
“My people give birth to three kits at a time and our labors still aren’t as long.
Speaking for myself, I am glad that I am not one of my pack that gives birth.
I love our kits, of course, but I leave their birthing to my other mates. ”
It took Scarlet a moment to work out what Fellaseen was saying – it was sometimes hard to keep track of her when she switched between plural and singular – but before she could focus on it, Fellaseen was already describing how excited she was for their friendship to continue.
“You simply must come to Tavin. That is our planet. We would be eager to host you and Havali. If you have kits of your own by then, you should bring them. No doubt, they would enjoy playing with our kits and they would be quite safe there.”
Scarlet shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know if Havali and I will have kits.”
“We don’t blame you.” Fellaseen nodded sagely. “If that is how you birth, then you never wanting to go through that yourself is understandable.”
Scarlet chuckled. “No. It’s not that. It’s just… Well, a domini male won’t be a father to children that aren’t his mate’s, and I don’t want that for kits-… er, I mean, pups-… No, sorry, babies, of mine.”
Fellaseen looked confused. “You are not Havali’s mate?”
“You’re not?”
The new voice startled Scarlet. She jumped, turning to look at the female that had come to join them so silently. Danya’s wings were so big, it was easy to forget that she was actually fairly slender and small in build. Relatively speaking.
“How long have you been there?” Scarlet asked, putting a hand to her racing heart. “You scared me.”
“Oh,” Danya looked surprised, then sheepish. “Forgive me. I wasn’t here long. I was coming to congratulate you and overheard what you said. Have you truly not mate locked to Havali?”
“Mate locked?”
Fellaseen interjected, speaking calmly, “Danya’s people, the vir, mate lock. They can only reproduce with those that they’ve locked themselves to.”
“Oh, like a… er, knot?” She ended on a whisper, not quite sure if that counted as genitalia and pretty sure that such a thing would not be appropriate for a formal occasion – which this very much was.
“No, not a knot,” Fellaseen said at full volume, and no one gasped or stared in polite horror. “I mean, yes, those are called a mating lock by some, but to the vir it specifically refers to the state of being mated. Their bodies only produce viable eggs and sperm to those they’re mate locked to.”
Scarlet made a sound of understanding before turning back to Danya. “I see. No, Havali hasn’t claimed me. And humans don’t lock like that anyway.”
“You don’t?’
“No,” Fellaseen interjected again, this time with a grimace. “They are equally fertile with everyone, regardless of who their mate is. Can you imagine?”
Danya looked absolutely shocked. Scarlet supposed that, to a species that could only mate to a specific person – or persons, she guessed, since Crav had two mates he was locked to – such a thing must be incredible.
“That’s astounding. You’re so lucky,” Danya looked at her in amazement, eyes sparkling. “Why have you not locked to Havali?”
Scarlet shifted uncomfortably. “I mean, that’s not really my choice. Havali has to claim me.”
“And he hasn’t? Why not?”
Why was she focusing on this? Scarlet wished she would talk about anything else. Anything that didn't make her belly roll and twist with discomfort and anxiety.
She shrugged, trying for nonchalance, “I guess he just doesn’t see me as his mate.”
Fellaseen snickered. “You are joking, yes? That male hasn’t stopped glancing over here to check on you since you two arrived.”
Fellaseen gestured to something behind her, and Scarlet looked over her shoulder. Havali was deep in conversation with Tuvo, Haviss, and Tsok, but his eyes almost immediately looked her way. He didn't stop whatever he was saying, but he smiled at her before looking back at them.
They had split up when they got here. Since Havali was acting representative, he had a lot of work to do and, as he knew Scarlet didn't like this part, he insisted she go speak to her friends instead. He would come get her when he had finished what he needed to do.
Scarlet hadn’t noticed that he had been keeping an eye on her the entire time, but knowing that he had, seeing the clear line of vision between them, made her chest warm. Made her feel not so alone.
“He is always watching you,” Danya said, a grin in her voice. “You are quite fortunate to have a male so acutely obsessed with you.”
Scarlet’s belly dropped.
“What?” She looked back at Danya.
Her wings shifted a bit. “I just mean, I know that he always has his eyes on you. He’s always following you around. He’s so focused on you, it’s like he’s obsessed.”
“Like she’s prey and he’s stalking her,” Fellaseen added, sighing. “Ah, we remember when our mate hunted us for our claiming.”
“You have a claiming as well?” Danya asked, interested.
Scarlet wasn’t really listening as Fellaseen described how a male had to hunt and catch each individual member of a formed female pack before they agreed to take him as a mate.
Those words the two of them had used were tumbling in her head, bumping against each other and the side of her skull, leaving her rattled and shaken.
Obsessed.
Stalking.
Scarlet hadn’t given a single thought to it, but was that what Havali was doing?
He was always watching her on cameras and through tracking software. She knew he did it. He had been very forthcoming with that. And, besides the initial confrontation when she found out he was watching her buy underwear, she hadn’t said a single thing about it.
But was Havali stalking her?
Was she just indulging a stalker?
He made no claims that she was his mate, but she was clearly important to him in some way. Was she just not seeing the negative sides because, unlike Tony, she hadn’t yet managed to invoke his wrath?
And if he was stalking her, why was she okay with it?
Scarlet gnawed on her lip as a terrible thought occurred to her.
Was this just a case of her being okay with it because he was attractive? Like that old argument that a woman only thought unattractive men were creepy? Was that actually true? Was she just judging him as good because he was hot and she enjoyed having sex with him?
And if that were true, what would happen when she tried to end this?
If he didn't find his mate, but the relationship had run its course, would he let her go?
Or would he keep spying on her from above?
Would he stalk her? Would he chase her? Would she be just another object of obsession, only this time, the threat was much greater because domini males were much stronger, faster, and more lethal than human ones?
Or, worse, what if he did find his mate one day, and he still didn't stop? What if she spent the rest of her life running from Havali?
She looked over her shoulder and he was already staring her way. He smiled at her, though he was still clearly listening to whatever it was Haviss was saying.
This time, warmth didn't fill her chest.
Just a vague, off-putting sense of unease and shame.
“Scarlet?”
She turned back around to find that Fellaseen was staring at her, concerned. Danya wasn’t even here any longer. She must have wandered off as silently as she arrived.
Or Scarlet was so focused on the horrible realizations going on in herself that she hadn’t noticed her walk away.
“Sorry,” she said, smiling quickly. “I was just thinking.”
“About Havali?” She grinned. “Maybe those kits are going to be coming along even sooner than you think, eh?”
Scarlet lowered a hand to her belly. Her ovulation was off. She couldn’t get pregnant. Should she even want to have a stalker’s baby?
No, that was unfair of her. Havali wasn’t like that. She knew him! He was just a guy who…
Liked violence with his sex. Liked holding her down and taking what he wanted from her. Who excited himself with violence and blood.
Fuck, what if he was bad? What if she was just too close to see it?
The doubt choking her made her want to puke. Because she knew Havali was a good person, and he would never hurt her. She would never be alone with him or let him sleep with her if there was any doubt about that!
But that icky feeling remained in her belly.
Because what if she was wrong? What if she was seeing this all the wrong way?
Because, at the end of it, Havali was watching her through cameras and tracking all her movements and he did like his sex with a hint of pain.
Both of which, objectively, were red flags in a partner.
Things that she absolutely shouldn’t enjoy much less allow.
And she still wasn’t his mate.
“Scarlet?” Fellaseen had grabbed her shoulder, looking genuinely worried now. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” She quickly fixed a smile on her face. “Sorry. I just… was thinking about how cute our babies would be if we had them.”
“Oh, yes!” Fellaseen purred, sufficiently distracted. “Peony’s kit is adorable! You and Havali are both so lovely, you would doubtless make the prettiest of kits.”
They really would, wouldn’t they?
Scarlet shoved that thought down. Way down.
She couldn’t have kids right now and, until she knew her own heart, and Havali’s, she wasn’t going to risk having any either.
The closing ceremonies ended with another dazzling light show overhead on the night shields. This one, she and Havali got to witness amongst everyone this time. He kept one hand to the small of her back, occasionally smiling at her or speaking to those around them.
When they went back to the compound, late that night, he started to follow her to her room, but she stopped him.
“Something wrong?” He asked, looking almost hurt.
“No,” she assured him quickly, smiling. “I just, er, need to run myself through my scanner.”
Worry sharpened his gaze as he stood up straight. “Are you alright? What’s wrong? Were you hurt?”
“Calm down, I’m okay,” she said quickly, patting his chest. “But, you know, you’ve got my neck so covered in bite marks, I’m not going to be able to keep covering them soon.
” She reached up, touching the high collar that concealed them now.
“So, I thought I’d heal those and make sure that my blood levels aren’t too low. ”
This was definitely the wrong thing to say, because now he looked guilty.
“I’m alright,” she assured him quickly. “But, you know, if I’m going to turn my period back on, I need to make sure that I’m not anemic.”
As she hoped, that distracted him. Because there was only one reason she would turn her period on, and that was if she was willing to risk pregnancy.
His expressions went positively feral as he leaned in to kiss the side of her head before whispering directly in her ear-
“I was going to talk to you tonight, but if that’s what you’re doing instead, I think I’ll wait.”
“Talk to me about what?”
He grinned, leaning back. “You’ll see. Prepare yourself well, Scarlet. The next time I have you, I won’t be gentle.”
The promise sent a thrilling jolt of electricity up her spine. Scarlet had trouble catching her breath as she watched Havali turn and walk away, leaving her standing there, heart pounding, mind racing, outside her bedroom door.
Fuck. She had only said that to keep him from worrying. It had been the first thing that popped into her mind. But now he was expecting it.
She ran into her room and, after catching her breath, walked through the adjoining door into the clinic. The machines were gently humming, singing as they waited for her return. She stood at the side of the scanner, her hand resting on the bed, thinking.
She did want to fix the multiple bite marks on her neck and shoulder.
The high-necked, long-sleeved dress she wore now had been chosen out of necessity to hide those wounds, definitely not because she liked the style.
And it would make sense to check her blood levels since he was constantly drinking from her, and she didn't want to wait until she passed out before seeing to that.
But her period…
Scarlet moved the controls closer to the bed so she could reach them while laying down. By the time she had finished preparing and was lying back, the ring moving over her, searching out any potential problems, she still hadn’t made a choice.
The scanner highlighted all the trauma to her neck. Bite wounds. So many of them. He didn't often bite her only once when they had sex. Sometimes, it seemed like he enjoyed the strike even more than the act of drinking her aphrodisiac blood.
So many wounds.
Healing wounds.
The decision settled in Scarlet’s chest.