Chapter Forty-Two
Simon
The house felt different when we walked through the door.
Quieter.
Emptier.
Like the world outside had been so loud and chaotic that coming home felt like stepping into a vacuum.
Tony closed the door behind us, the lock clicking into place with a finality that made my chest tighten. I shrugged out of my suit jacket, draping it over the back of the nearest chair. Tony did the same, his movements methodical, controlled.
Too controlled.
My hands shook slightly as I loosened my tie. The adrenaline from the diner still coursed through me. Goliath’s kiss, Tony’s claim, the revelation about Rosalind. Everything felt surreal, like I was living someone else’s life.
Tony came out.
In front of everyone.
He claimed me.
He fucking claimed me.
But now, standing in my kitchen with him, the silence between us felt heavy.
Oppressive.
The adrenaline was draining, the high I had been riding in the diner every time his hand held mine. Every smile he gave me when I caught him watching me. It all felt like it was in another time, another place.
What happens now?
I watched Tony move through my kitchen like he’d done a dozen times before since he moved in here after my arraignment. It felt the same, as if nothing had changed.
He’s going to take it back.
He’s going to tell me he made a mistake.
That he got caught up in the moment.
That we can’t do this.
My stomach twisted, nausea rising in my throat. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t go back to being his secret. Not after today. Not after he...
“Have you heard from Keys?” I asked, my voice breaking the quiet, needing to say something, anything, to fill the silence before it suffocated me.
Tony glanced at me, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. He’s keeping an eye on Sadie.”
I nodded, relief washing over me. “Good. That’s... that’s good.”
“King also has a prospect keeping an eye on Rosalind,” Tony added, his tone flat. “Just in case she tries anything.”
“Do you think she will?” I asked.
Tony’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know. But I’m not taking any chances.”
Of course not. Tony never took chances. He never made a move without knowing all the possible outcomes.
Except today.
Today he took the biggest chance of his life.
And now he regretted it.
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “Okay.”
Tony moved toward me, his hand reaching out to take mine. His grip was firm, warm and grounding. “Come here,” he said quietly.
He led me to the couch, and I followed, my heart pounding in my chest.
This was it. This was where he told me it was all a mistake. Where, once again, I had to decide if I could live in the shadows. If Tony was worth the scraps he fed me.
We sat down, and he turned to face me, his hand still holding mine. His expression was serious, his eyes searching my face like he was trying to memorize every detail.
“We need to talk,” he said.
Oh God.
I closed my eyes, bracing for the heartbreak. My chest constricted, panic clawing at my throat. I tried to pull my hand away, but Tony’s grip tightened.
“Simon,” Tony said, his voice cutting through the spiral of panic in my head.
I forced myself to meet his eyes, my chest so tight I could barely breathe.
Say it. Just say it. Get it over with.
“I need to apologize,” Tony said.
I blinked. “What?”
“For what I said last night,” he continued, his voice low and rough. “About you sacrificing yourself for Sadie. About you being willing to go to prison for her.”
Oh.
Oh.
I didn’t know what to say. My mind was reeling, still trying to catch up.
He wasn’t breaking up with me. He was... apologizing?
“Tony—”
“Let me finish,” he said, his grip on my hand tightening.
“I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong, Simon. Sadie is lucky to have a big brother who wants to protect her and keep her safe. What you did... what you were willing to do… it wasn’t stupid or reckless.
It was love. And I was an asshole for saying it was anything less than that. ”
My throat tightened, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
“What changed?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
I stared at him, trying to process his words.
Tony’s expression softened, and for the first time since we’d walked through the door, I saw something vulnerable in his eyes. Something raw and unguarded.
“At the diner,” he said slowly, “after I claimed you in front of everyone, I was sitting there with you in my lap, and I thought about Julia.”
Julia.
His sister.
“I thought about how fucking proud she would be of me,” Tony continued. “For finally being honest. For finally claiming the man I love in front of everyone.”
My breath caught.
The man I love.
Did he just—
“And then I remembered why Julia wasn’t there. What she did for me,” Tony said, his voice cracking slightly. “The same thing you did for Sadie.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding.
“You were willing to take the fall for her,” Tony said quietly. “Just like Julia was willing to take the fall for me. And I’ve spent my life terrified of losing someone again.”
His hands trembled as he reached for me.
“Julia didn’t walk away free, Simon. She didn’t walk away at all. And I couldn’t...” His voice broke. “I can’t stand the thought of that happening to you. Of losing you because you were trying to protect someone you love.”
Tony’s eyes met mine, raw and haunted.
“I thought you were being selfish. That you were only thinking about yourself and what you wanted. But I was the selfish bastard. I was only thinking about myself and how it would affect my life.”
Tony closed his eyes and laid his head back against the couch.
“Julia would kick my ass for the way I’ve treated you.
The way I kept you a secret.” He rolled his head to the side and looked at me.
“The way I used you. I’m so fucking sorry, Simon.
I’m so sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough.
Like you weren’t worth claiming. Like you weren’t worth everything. ”
I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t form words. All I could do was stare at him as tears streamed down my face.
“I don’t fucking deserve you; I know that. But I can’t live without you Simon. I can’t fucking lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me,” I whispered as I crawled across his lap until I was straddling him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Tony reached out, his hands cradling my face, his thumbs brushing away my tears.
“I was so fucking angry at you,” he admitted.
“For being willing to sacrifice yourself. For being willing to go to prison, willing to throw your life away for someone else.” He laid his forehead against mine.
“But that’s what Julia did for me. She gave her life for me.
I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for her. I wouldn’t be here with you.”
And then he kissed me.
Slow. Sensual. Deliberate.
Not the desperate, frantic kisses we’d shared before. Not the possessive, claiming kisses that left me breathless and aching.
This was different.
This was love.
His lips moved against mine with a tenderness that made my chest ache, his hands cradling my face like he was afraid I might disappear. I melted into him, my hands gripping his waist, my body pressing against his.
This is real. This is happening. He’s here. He’s mine.
When he finally pulled back, he stared into my eyes, his breath warm against my lips.
“I love you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
My breath hitched as a small gasp slipped across my lips.
“I love you, Simon,” Tony repeated, his eyes opening to meet mine. “I’ve loved you for six years. And I’m done hiding it. I’m done being a coward. I’m done pretending like you’re not the most important thing in my life.”
Six years.
For six years I’d waited to hear those words from his lips. Six years of hoping and praying he might feel even a smidge of what I felt for him.
I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t think.
Couldn’t do anything but stare at him as the words sank in.
“Tony,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
“I love you,” he said again, his hands still cradling my face. “And I’m never letting you go.”
The tears came harder now, and I couldn’t stop them. Couldn’t hold them back.
He loves me. He actually loves me.
I kissed him again, my hands tangling in his hair, my body pressing against his like I could merge us into one person. But even as I kissed him, even as I felt the truth of his words in every touch, every breath, a small voice in the back of my mind whispered:
What happens now?
I pulled back slightly, my hands still tangled in his hair, my eyes searching his face.
“What does this mean?” I asked, my voice trembling. “What happens now?”
Tony’s expression softened, his hands sliding down to rest on my waist.
“It means no more secrets,” he said simply. “It means everyone knows you’re mine. And I’m yours.”
Everyone knows.
The club knows. My parents know. The whole fucking town knows.
“But what about—” I started, then stopped, unsure how to articulate the fear clawing at my chest.
“What about what?” Tony prompted gently.
“What about when it gets hard?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “What about when people start talking? What happens if you lose clients? When—”
“Simon,” Tony interrupted, his hands tightening on my waist. “I don’t care.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding.
“I don’t care what people say,” Tony continued, his voice firm. “I don’t care if my clients leave. I don’t care if the whole fucking town has an opinion. The only thing I care about is you.”
“But what if—” I started again, but Tony cut me off with another kiss.
This one was deeper, more insistent. His hands slid up my back, pulling me closer, and I felt the shift in him.
The certainty.
The commitment.
When he pulled back, his eyes were blazing.
“No more what-ifs,” he said firmly. “No more hiding. No more pretending. You’re mine, Simon. And I’m going to make damn sure everyone knows it.”
My chest tightened, a mixture of relief and fear and hope swirling inside me.
“I’m scared,” I admitted, my voice barely audible.
“I know,” Tony said, his hands sliding up to cup my face again. “That’s my fault. I’m scared too. But I’m more scared of losing you than I am of anything else.”
He’s scared too. He’s just as terrified as I am.
But he’s doing it anyway.
“What if you change your mind?” I asked, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “What if you wake up tomorrow and realize this was a mistake? What if—”
“Simon,” Tony said, his voice cutting through my spiral. “Look at me.”
I forced myself to meet his eyes, my chest so tight I could barely breathe.
“I’m not changing my mind,” Tony said, his voice steady and sure. “I’ve spent six years afraid of being found out and I still couldn’t walk away from you. Now everyone knows. Why the fuck would I walk away when everything I need in my life is sitting in my lap?”
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine.
“You’re it for me, Simon,” he whispered. “You’re the only one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not letting you go. Not now. Not ever.”
The tears came again, hot and fast, and I couldn’t stop them.
I kissed him again, pouring everything I felt into it. All the fear, all the hope, all the love. Every emotion I’d been holding back for six years, afraid I would push him away.
Tony responded immediately, his hands sliding down to grip my hips, pulling me closer. The kiss deepened, turning hungry, desperate.
I needed him. I needed to feel him. I needed to know this was real.
I ground down against him, feeling the hard length of him pressing against me through our clothes. Tony groaned, his hands tightening on my hips.
“Simon,” he breathed against my lips.
“I need you,” I whispered, my hands sliding down to tug at his shirt. “I need to feel you. I need—”
“I know,” Tony said, his voice rough. “I know, baby. I’ve got you.”
He stood, lifting me with him, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me down the hallway to the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine.
When we reached the bed, he laid me down gently, his body covering mine. His hands moved over me with a reverence I’d never felt before, like he was worshipping every inch of me.
“I love you,” he whispered against my skin as he stripped away my clothes. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too,” I gasped, my hands clutching at him. “God, Tony, I love you too.”
He paused, his eyes meeting mine, and for a moment, the world stopped.
This was real. This was happening. He was finally mine, and I was finally his, and everyone fucking knew.
We weren’t hiding anymore.
Tony kissed me again, slow and deep.
This was us.
This was forever.
And for the first time in six years, I believed it.