51. Arianna
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
ARIANNA
I didn’t want Matteo.
I didn’t want his attention. I didn’t want his eyes on me, watching my every move, even in broad daylight. I didn’t want his obsession.
At least that’s what I’d told myself every morning I woke up and every night before I fell asleep for the past two weeks, hoping my feelings for him would die.
Yet, I couldn’t help feeling like my soul was caught in the icy grip of winter whenever I thought of him. Nor could I ignore my body’s traitorous response to his proximity.
He knew it. And so did I.
After learning what Hannah had done, I’d had enough. Returning to my dorm, shell-shocked, I found a single note on my bed scribbled in her unmistakable handwriting.
The words cut. Yes, we’d faced hardships over the years, but we’d always stuck together. Always.
This thing with Matteo though… I crossed the line. He crossed the line. I hurt her badly, and I was so damn sorry.
If only I could explain it to her. Although, if I was honest with myself, I knew deep down that this thing with him was bound to end. It was the reason I’d insisted on secrecy in the first place.
So, I deferred my studies and left. I wasn’t strong enough to resist him, and if I stayed, he’d continue feeding both of our obsessions. He refused to let go even after…
God . I shot the man I loved. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Everything had gotten so out of hand, and that night I knew what I had to do.
Run.
My destination: Ireland.
After Hannah disappeared, I went searching for Uncle Kyran. If Hannah would listen to anyone, it would be him.
But when I arrived at the club, I learned he’d left for Ireland the previous night.
Hence how I found myself here. I’d been on the move for the past two weeks, chasing Hannah through the wilds of this beautiful country.
After I returned to the dorm, Gianna had caught me halfway packed. She understood what I had to do. For better or worse, I needed to make things right.
But first I needed funds. I could withdraw a large sum from my accounts, but I knew it’d alert Dad. The tensions between the Vitales and Morrellis worked to my advantage. I came up with a plan to visit the Vitales. Gianna, my clever baby sister, came along, entertaining Matteo’s parents with a made-up problem she needed help with while I snuck into Mr. Vitale’s office and stole all his cash.
I probably didn’t need the comfort it afforded me, but I wasn’t about to complain. I’d seen castles, rugged coastlines, national parks, and listened to chatter in Gaelic, pretending I understood what the heck they were saying.
It was… lonely. For the first time ever, I had no one to bounce ideas off, no one to sit and talk through what was worrying me.
I’d been moving from city to city, visiting sights that I’d read about and eating delicious foods that didn’t quite compare to my mom’s cooking.
I stared up at the white ceiling of my hotel suite in Dingle, the excited chatter of the outdoor adventure seekers filtering through the open window. I couldn’t quite relate, finding zero enjoyment in climbing cliffs or jumping off them.
Fuck, I missed my parents. My siblings. Hannah .
I’d sent her two dozen messages, but they all remained unanswered. I tried to tell myself that maybe she didn’t recognize the number since I was using a burner phone, but I was just fooling myself.
Sliding out of bed, I padded into the bathroom and went through the motions of getting ready for my next stop.
Shower. Clothes. Pack all my belongings that mainly consisted of sweatpants, T-shirts, and sweatshirts. Wig.
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, the image off-putting even after two weeks of wearing that damned thing that made my scalp itch.
Maybe I was going overboard, but something told me Matteo wouldn’t give up easily. I had a feeling that the scene he pulled to ensure Hannah caught us red-handed only scratched the surface of how far he’d go.
Pushing all thoughts aside, I shoved all my toiletries into my bag, zipped it shut, and strode into the bedroom, where I proceeded to drop my bag to the ground and slap a hand over my mouth to cover my shriek.
There, in the overstuffed armchair, his dark hair messy and his crisp white shirt rolled up at his sleeves, sat Matteo, gun in hand.
I swallowed. “What… How… What are you doing here?”
His posture relaxed, he almost appeared nonthreatening. Almost. But his darkened expression and flaring nostrils were enough to warn me of his malice.
“I told you to wait for me in your dorm.”
“I had to go.”
“You had to go,” he repeated slowly.
“Housekeeping will be up in a minute to grab my bags,” I lied. “Please leave.”
His eyes darted across the room to my small duffel. “It’s a good thing you’re leaving too.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He rose from the chair, stepping forward to tower over me like a stormy cloud. “Yes, you are.”
I jerked my head from left to right, my body trembling. If I said it was from fear, I’d be lying. Every cell in my body urged me to run to him, to feel his strong arms fold around me. “I’m not going anywhere with you, and if you try to take me against my will, I’ll scream.”
A look I couldn’t decipher passed across his face. It had traces of vulnerability in it, enough for me to step forward slightly.
“Life without you isn’t an option for me. There is no before you or after you. There’s only you, Ari.”
“No. Before we hurt each other even more, we need to stop,” I said with a conviction I didn’t exactly feel. “I shot you, Matteo. Is that something people do when they’re meant to be?”
My mind had been replaying that nightmare every night, the terror I felt inside thinking I’d killed him. But for now, I shoved that into the darkest corner of my mind along with other fucked-up things.
“I’ll forgive almost everything, but running off like that… I was worried sick that they’d taken you.”
“Who?”
“Never mind that now. Let’s go.”
I shook my head. “You’re not listening to me. I don’t want to go with you.”
He raised the gun and shock slammed into me, rendering me speechless.
“Matteo, are you insane?” My voice trembled while I stared at him in disbelief.
He lifted a shoulder. “When you’re not around, yes.” We stared at each other like old lovers, new rivals. “It’s a good thing I found you right on time for my birthday.”
What was he…?
“I already told you,” I murmured softly, staring down the barrel of a gun for the second time in the span of a few weeks. “I’m done with you, Matteo. After that stunt you pulled…”
Water filled my eyes as my thoughts strayed to Hannah, and I remembered how badly I fucked up.
My heart had chosen Matteo, but my reason and loyalty refused to take it any further. I chose my twin’s happiness over mine, and I’d been dying a slow death every day since.
My scalp itched under the wig I wore, and I felt out of sorts in the sweatpants and oversized hoodie that had been my go-to uniform since fleeing campus. I thought distance from him would bring clarity, but instead, it only brought on a wave of despair and dreams in which I missed him terribly.
I couldn’t think around this man, so I forced myself to take a step away from him. It was my survival instincts kicking in, I told myself. No sooner had I put more space between us than he yanked me back closer to him. Not roughly, but close enough to feel his body heat and inhale his scent.
And just like that, my longing won out, clouding my judgment and common sense of self-preservation.
“I’m not done with you. We are not done . We won’t be done until there’s no breath left in my body.”
Tears burned my eyes but I blinked them away, fighting this reaction to him. Every fiber of me came alive around him and I hated myself for it.
“Willing to start a war, are you?” I asked, trying to buy time. To delay the inevitable. “You’re really content to ruin our parents’ friendship? You already turned Hannah against me.”
His brows pinched as he studied me with an angry expression.
“I’d wage a thousand wars for you, Ari. Yet you run from me at the first sign of trouble. You’ll be punished for it.”
I stared at him as the first tear slid down my cheek, and then I yanked myself from his grip.
“I’m begging you, Matteo, don’t do this. Killing me won’t accomplish anything. Marry Hannah and?—”
“Fuck Hannah.” I flinched. “You think I’d hurt you?” he roared. “After everything we’ve been through, you think so low of me?”
I shook my head.
“Please, Matteo. Don’t make this worse than it already is. Don’t make me hate you.” Because surely one day it would come to that. When the passion cooled, we’d realize how many people we’d hurt. I pleaded with my gaze, hoping he was stronger than me. It made me a coward, but at this point, I didn’t care. “You know how much Hannah means to me. She’s my sister , Matteo. I couldn’t choose?—”
Her over you, so I ran. But my words died in my throat as I glimpsed the fury in his gaze.
“Me. You couldn’t choose me. Just say it, Ari.”
“Let’s just talk about this.” My body trembled, mirroring the chaos in my soul. If he only knew how hard this was for me too. “Please, let’s find a way for all of us to move on.”
My throat closed as I stared through my blurred vision at the boy turned man who’d quite possibly had my heart since the day I met him.
“There’s no moving on for me, and nothing to talk about.”
He turned his back to me, and for a moment, I thought he’d leave. But in the second it took me to chance a look at the door, I felt a prick in my neck.
I tried to move and managed a few unsteady steps, but it was no use. I collapsed into his arms, my entire body numb. His familiar scent filled my nostrils and I tried for words, but my tongue was too heavy.
In the reluctant comfort of his strong arms, I let the world vanish as my vision went black.