Chapter Five
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MATTHEW WOKE UP FIRST, and as soon as he did, his attention went to his mate.
Alan was curled up next to him, still asleep.
He was relaxed, the lines of tension in his expression finally smoothed out.
Matthew was glad. Alan had been stressed since he’d arrived at the village, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
Alan had slept through the night, but it hadn’t been peaceful. He’d rolled back and forth, had pulled at the blankets, and had kept Matthew awake. Matthew hadn’t had it in him to wake him up or to try to stop him from moving. Alan needed his rest, considering what he was about to do.
He was meeting Victor today. Matthew wished there was something he could say to make Alan change his mind, but he wasn’t going to try.
Alan had already made his decision. Matthew was going to support him, not try to stop him.
This was important to Alan. Hell, it was important to all of them.
They needed to stop Victor, and if Matthew thought about it rationally, he could admit that this was the best way to do that.
Victor knew Alan. He knew that Alan was human and that he wouldn’t be able to defend himself from him.
There was also the company to consider. They’d want to make sure that Alan couldn’t talk about what they were up to, so if Victor didn’t do anything to stop him, they would.
The only way to keep Alan safe was to do this because, as much as Matthew wanted to keep Alan in the village forever so that nothing and no one could touch him, he wasn’t going to keep his mate a prisoner.
He sighed and reached out to brush a strand of hair away from Alan’s face.
He should have known this would be complicated.
Not one of his friends had met their mate in a relaxed and normal situation.
He didn’t think they could be in a relaxed and normal situation.
They’d been on the run most of their lives, and now that they weren’t, they’d made it their job to save people and destroy the labs. There was nothing relaxed about that.
But Alan deserved to be able to slow down. He deserved to feel safe. He deserved not to have all of his hard work used to hurt people. Alan was angry, which Matthew understood. He was even proud of his mate for wanting to do something about it.
At the same time, he was panicking at the thought of something happening to his mate.
He wanted to wake up in the same bed as Alan for the rest of his life. But he also wanted Alan to be at the village because he wanted to, and not because he didn’t have a choice. They had a lot of things to talk about, and hopefully, they’d have plenty of time to do it, but what if they didn’t?
“I swear, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears,” Alan muttered without opening his eyes.
Matthew smiled. “Oh?”
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Alan finally blinked his eyes open. The first thing he did was glare at Matthew. “You’re disturbing my sleep.”
“By thinking too hard?”
“Yes. You’ve gone all tense. It’s like trying to sleep next to a log.”
Matthew had to resist the urge to laugh. His mate sounded adorably grumpy. “I’m sorry.” He reached out and stroked a hand down Alan’s arm. “I was thinking.”
“That’s what I said. You think too hard.” Alan stared at Matthew for a moment before sighing. “And I know what you’re thinking about. The meeting with Victor, right?”
“I’m just worried.”
“You’re not the only one. Trust me, there’s nothing I want less than to see Victor. I considered him a friend, but he never was, and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know what to do with any of this.”
“You don’t have to know.”
“It’s hard. How am I supposed to trust anyone after what he did? I thought he cared about me.”
“You can trust me. I’m your mate, and I would never betray you.”
“I know.”
Matthew liked that Alan didn’t hesitate. He did know. He was convinced that Matthew would never do anything to hurt him, and he was right. Matthew would rather kill himself.
“And I can’t tell you not to worry because I’m worried, too,” Alan continued. “But I have to believe I’ll be okay.”
“You will be. I’ll be there, and I won’t be the only one.
” Nysys had wanted to be present, but everyone had turned him down.
They didn’t need him there. They had plenty of Nix who could shimmer straight to Alan’s side if Victor tried anything.
Matthew wasn’t sure he trusted the enforcers, but all of them could fight.
That included their Nix, and she would be there.
It still didn’t feel like enough, even though Matthew knew that it was.
He just wanted to bundle him up and keep him safe.
No one would blame him if he told them that.
Even Alan would understand. That didn’t mean it would stop him, unfortunately.
Nothing would, which meant that the only thing Matthew could do was reassure himself and Alan that things would be okay.
That would be easier to do if he could feel Alan. Matthew had been thinking about it, and he wasn’t sure how to bring it up.
For a human, it would probably be way too soon to bond. They liked taking their time, maybe because they didn’t feel the bond as strongly as shifters. Matthew didn’t need Alan to. He just needed Alan to be okay, and he’d feel better if he could feel his mate and be sure that he was.
But they hadn’t even talked. That wasn’t what last night had been about. When they’d left Rikar’s house, Alan had been all over the place. He still was, and Matthew suspected that wouldn’t change until he was done with Victor.
Maybe Matthew could distract Alan for a bit. They still had a few hours before they had to leave the house so that Alan could meet his boss. Alan would obsess over what would happen if Matthew gave him the opportunity to do so, and it wouldn’t be good for him.
Matthew cupped Alan’s cheek. Alan blinked at him, clearly surprised, but he didn’t lean away, not even when Matthew pressed into his personal space. Matthew hoped it meant that his mate wouldn’t stop him.
Alan didn’t. When Matthew pressed their lips together, Alan pushed forward to snuggle into Matthew’s arms. Matthew welcomed him. He belonged to Alan. Whatever Alan wanted, whatever he was ready for, Matthew would give it to him.
The kiss was like a dream. If it was, it was a dream Matthew never wanted to wake up from.
Alan’s lips were soft, his tongue slick, and he smelled of sleep and Matthew’s shampoo.
Matthew never wanted this to stop. In fact, he was planning on asking Alan to move in with him as soon as this mess was over.
He knew that Alan’s life was a mess. Alan had lost someone he’d considered a friend, and he still had to confront Victor.
He’d lost his job. He might not have lost his apartment and everything else, but he couldn’t be sure of that yet.
It depended on what happened during the meeting with Victor.
Even if Victor was neutralized, there was a chance that the company would come after Alan.
His life was in danger, no matter how little he liked it.
Matthew wanted to give Alan stability. He knew they needed to have a conversation about all of it, but no matter what they told each other when they did, he also knew that Alan was it for him.
He would never be with anyone else. He would never want anyone else.
No matter what happened with Alan, that wouldn’t change.
“Bond with me,” Matthew murmured against Alan’s lips.
It took Alan a moment to react. When he did, he leaned back, blinking. “What?”
“Bond with me,” Matthew repeated. He’d never been more sure of anything. He and Alan should bond.
He hoped Alan would see things the same way.
* * * *
THE DIM LIGHT OF THE sun rising outside the window cast shadows across the room.
Alan blinked at Matthew as he tried to make sense of the words that had just come out of Matthew’s mouth.
His mind had already been a whirlwind before—he was meeting Victor today, and the weight of what he needed to do pressed heavily on his shoulders.
But it wasn’t just Victor that had him on edge now.
No, Matthew was right there with the asshole.
Matthew, who was staring at Alan, looked almost boyish in the pale morning light.
The tension that usually lined his jaw was gone, replaced by a softness that made Alan’s chest tighten.
The faintest hint of a smile played on his lips.
He knew what he’d done by asking Alan to bond with him.
He’d known he’d shock Alan, and he had. Alan didn’t know what to say.
“I know it’s soon,” Matthew said.
“Yet you asked, and right before I need to go and meet Victor, too.”
“You’re not alone, Alan,” he murmured. “I’m here. And if we bond, you’ll feel me with you every second you’re forced to spend with Victor. I’ll be able to feel you, too.”
Alan swallowed, his throat dry. The idea of bonding—of sharing that kind of connection with Matthew—was both thrilling and terrifying. They’d only known each other for what? A week and a half, if even that.
But there was no denying that they were mates. That wouldn’t change, no matter how much time passed, so would it matter if they bonded now or if they waited? Would it change anything beyond making both of them feel better about Alan’s meeting with Victor?
“Is it too soon?” Alan asked.
Matthew’s lips curved into a faint smile. “For mates? No. Time doesn’t matter when we know it’s forever.” He reached up to brush a strand of hair from Alan’s forehead. The touch was feather-light, but it sent a shiver down Alan’s spine.
He wanted to say yes.
Their gazes locked. Alan could feel the heat radiating from Matthew’s body, could smell the faint scent of his skin, could see how beautiful he was. His heart thudded in his chest, a steady rhythm that he knew would be in sync with Matthew’s if he reached out to feel his chest.