Chapter 6 #2
“Give me the sleeping pills,” she hisses out between breaths. “I don’t want to feel this anymore. I don’t want to be this way. You were right. I didn’t die, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t. I need them. I need… you.”
“Loreena, I—”
“Are you having second thoughts? It’s a little late for that,” she laughs bitterly.
“You’ve already kidnapped me. I assume you were expecting at least some kind of resistance, or am I not worth the trouble after all?
You can still return me. Just take me back.
I’ll hold onto you. I won’t look. I won’t die. I can make it if you take me.”
Her acidic tone jars me, ripping at my skin like her nails did as panic gripped her. “I’m not having second thoughts. I just want you to be sure.”
Her eyes lock with mine. I don’t blink and neither does she. They finally narrow, assessing me, staring straight down into my soul.
“I didn’t think it was possible to get this far,” she admits.
Her bottom lip trembles. “Maybe you’re right and I’m wrong.
It’s all been lies, all this time. I know that.
I know it’s irrational. I do want to get better.
I want to see the sky through something other than glass.
I want to do something with my life. I don’t want it to have been stolen from me.
I want a choice. I never got to have one. Can you give me that?”
“I want to.” If there’s one thing that I do, I want it to be this. I want to give her freedom. I want her to have her life back.
“Then give them to me.”
The world is tilting. It’s fucked up and confused. My head swims and spins. She’s changed her mind? She seems entirely resolute now that she’s made a decision. She’s going to just give into me taking her?
“Give me the sleeping pills and as soon as they start working, get the cats. Put them in their carriers. Don’t forget their food and litter boxes. You’ll have to bag it all up. I need a bag too. I need clothes and my laptop and my phone. Oh, and my makeup bag from the bathroom.”
I reel back as the world tilts wildly again. I might actually fucking pass out. “Are you actually agreeing to this?”
She bites down hard on her bottom lip. “I don’t know.
I don’t know anything anymore. Nothing stopped because my life almost ended and it won’t stop if this just about kills me too.
The cats need me. They don’t have anyone else to care for them.
I need you to get them. I still need to be able to work.
I can’t disappoint my clients. I won’t.”
“I’ll get everything.”
Her lips arch into a sarcastic, angry, cutting smile. “Such a considerate kidnapper. Please tell me you read the dosing on the sleeping pills.”
“Yes. I can give you two. They go under the tongue.”
“Mmm. Quick ones. That’s nice.”
“I’ll stay right here with you until you fall asleep. I’ll protect you.”
“You can’t protect me from my own mind, Maverick.”
“I can and I will. You’re safe with me.”
“On second thought, the pills probably won’t work. They never do. I’ve tried all the ones you’re supposed to take to cure a panic attack, and they don’t even take the edge off. You might have to knock me out.”
“I’m not going to knock you out!”
“Step away from the door and just let me have a panic attack until I pass out again.”
“I’m not going to do that either. You were out for five minutes and that was five minutes too many.
It scared the fuck out of me.” I was scared every night when I was in jail.
It never got better. I still hear the sounds.
Footsteps in the hall, metal on metal, the yelling, but in the end, I got used to it in a way. This is something entirely different.
“You know, there were times in my life when I wanted to be extraordinary,” she whispers. “Now I’d give anything to be like everyone else.”
“I want you just as you are.”
She rolls her eyes. “Just give me the damn sleeping pills.”
I don’t see what other choice I have. I dig them out of my pocket and bring them to her mouth. Her lips are shockingly warm and full, so tender and flower petal soft. My mouth burns as my fingertips make contact. I slip them in and she rolls them under her tongue.
We both fall silent.
I want to apologize to her for all of this, and for that kiss, but now isn’t the time. She didn’t seem to have a problem with that. She even kissed me back. I couldn’t allow myself to ever hope to be closer to her that way, but now my mind won’t shut off the deluge of images that flood it.
We wait. These things are supposed to be fast acting.
She sighs, shifting in the seat and curling into a tight little ball, drawing her legs up until her knees hit the back of the driver’s seat.
“It’s okay,” she sighs. “Just go get everything. It’s not like I’m going to do something stupid and run.”
“Are you sure?”
“Am I sure I want my cats and my things or am I sure I won’t do something dumb?”
She tries to fight it, but her lips curl up. This time, there’s nothing mean in it. Nothing bitter or angry and wounded. It’s just her, a little bit wry and a little sassy, a glimpse of the spark that I know still lives in her.
“I can’t leave you alone out here.”
“Is that kind of like the fact that you also can’t kidnap someone?
” She yawns, but I think it’s all show. “Don’t worry.
I’m agreeing to it. I’ve submitted. Succumbed.
The tables have been turned. Whatever you want to say, I consent to this form of experimental treatment.
You’re right. I didn’t die. That means something.
” Her eyes burn with those twin fires that I glimpsed the first day in her kitchen.
Fight. Spirit. A soul that refuses to be crushed.
“Go,” she breathes, and this time, I shut the doors tightly and race back across the parking lot.
Chances are, I’m the worst kidnapper ever.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
Either way, when I rush back out half an hour later with her bag, the cats, and their supplies all loaded up into my arms, I edge open the door carefully, prepared to fight the world for Loreena again, but I find her still curled up like she was before, thick lashes resting on her cheek, breaths even, fast asleep.