Chapter 9 #2
Ella is seated to my right. She sets her hand on top of mine. “You don’t have to worry about that. Most of us met our men or came to Hart under circumstances that weren’t always ideal.”
Lark nods, compassion and empathy softening her already sweet features.
“No one is whole. We’re all broken in different ways.
We come closer to finding ourselves, or gathering up the shattered parts, when we’re together.
Our sisterhood isn’t about finding perfection and punishing people when they don’t come close.
It’s about loving people for who they are.
We want to uphold each other, support each other’s dreams, and encourage each other when we need it, and even when we don’t. ”
“I know that you didn’t have a lot of say in coming here, but girl, you picked the best pen pal,” Ella muses around a mouthful of cookie.
She’s the kind of person who appreciates dry humor, and no one is more thrilled about that than I am.
“The system actually picked for me.”
“The system knew what it was doing then, when it matched you two,” Lark insists.
“Maverick is trying to rebuild his life. Half of me feels like this isn’t fair to him.
I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.” I have the urge to bow my head and look away, but I don’t want to do that.
I can at last have the courage to look these women in the face.
“I don’t want him to ever feel like he’s enabling me by helping me through this, or like he’s failed when he can’t fix me.
I disappointed my family, and I know Maverick isn’t my mom or dad or my sister, but I’m scared that it’s all just going to go to shit the same way.
” I snatch a cookie up and take a bite. It’s fucking delicious, despite my sad, sorry thoughts. “Beam of sunshine over here, I know.”
“You don’t have to be a ray of light every minute of every day. That’s unreasonable,” Lark states.
“I know a little bit about shit family,” Ella says.
She blows on the top of her tea and steam spirals around her gorgeous face.
“My mom passed, and my dad was involved with a rival club. He was Prez once, of Satan’s Angels, but he fucked up.
He couldn’t live with that and blamed everyone else.
He told me a bunch of lies and sent me here.
He tortured my half-brother, and married me off to a total stranger just to further his political ambitions, and then he hurt me terribly.
He’s in jail now, and he absolutely deserves to rot there.
I hope he never gets letters from someone kind and caring,” she pauses and takes a mouthful of tea.
I see a look flash across her face, and I guess despite the lightness of her words, she has her own trauma that she’s either learned to cope with or is still healing from. Something about that gives me hope. That if she can go through that and sit here seemingly composed, then maybe I can too.
She puts her cup down on the table and continues.
“He dug his own grave. I don’t wish him dead, but he did taste his own karma.
He killed men, set others up, and put good ones in jail for years.
I’ve come to love my husband, and the club has moved past all of that, but when I say that dubious shit brought us here, I mean that.
After I found out who my father truly was and how he played me, I didn’t think that I deserved anything good in my life.
But Raiden is the best thing that happened to me.
He encouraged me to finish my doctorate so that I could teach college here.
I have a life I love now. I’m so blessed. But none of it was easy.”
Shit. Ella really does know what she’s talking about.
“Raiden is my brother,” Lark explains. “And Tyrant is Ella’s half-brother.”
Double shit.
“Okay well that makes me feel a little bit less of a freak, if I can be honest. Everyone in my life was so normal. And then there was me. I was the black stain on my family. I was the one who changed their lives forever.”
“Your life changed too,” Ella points out. Her voice is heavy with pain.
“I know. But the world couldn’t stop for them just because bad shit happened to me.
I didn’t want it to stop for me either.” Next to all the shit these two women have gone through, I feel silly about complaining.
“Some good has come of what happened too. I’m a lawyer now.
I don’t know if I could have done it otherwise. ”
Lark latches on that, her whole face brightening.
“Lynette is the club’s lawyer. She and Willa will come and meet you together.
They’re sisters and they’re great. I know that she’d love to talk to you about the law.
Bullet and their baby are now her first loves, but the law will always be a close second. Or, third now.”
“I think that’s remarkable. I could never do what you both do. Knowing all of that—where do you even store it?” Ella dunks her cookie in the hot tea then licks the drips from the bottom.
“You’re a lecturer and teach freaking college.” I try the cookie dunking technique. It’s amazing. I can’t believe Scythe made these. It’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.
“I’m an English lit professor,” she says. “Not something complicated like law. English is subjective. That’s the beauty of it.”
“So is law,” Lark argues.
We all sit for a moment. I break first. I laugh. “I have a decided lack of stimulus, so it’s pretty easy for me to stay focused.”
“Some people would just give up or get bitter. I can tell you haven’t done that. You have this beautiful, funny personality.”
My face heats at Ella’s obvious compliment.
“I have cats too. Do you want to meet them?”
Lark’s jaw drops. “Oh my god! Seriously? They’re here?”
“They are. They sometimes hide when new people are around, but if we sit in the basement for a little bit, they won’t be able to help themselves. They’ll get curious and have to come out.”
We all push back from the table. I lead the way down the hall and around the corner to the basement stairs. I muse again at how strange it is that the house already feels somewhat familiar and I’ve been here for less than a day.
The women tiptoe down the stairs behind me. “You mean that Maverick kidnapped your fur babies too?” Ella whispers.
“I told him to. Right before I told him to drug me and get on with it.”
“Oh. No one told us that.” Lark slaps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, probably because she’s more worried that I’ll be offended, and not because she’s afraid she’ll scare the cats. “I’m so sorry. It’s just… that’s a wild story. It’s fun, at least.”
“He made it sound like this was all his fault, but you were being an incredibly good sport about it.”
“It’s pretty crazy and confusing,” I admit. “He initiated the kidnapping, but I did agree to it in the end.”
I don’t know how much they know about why Maverick went to prison.
I don’t want to discuss it without him here, especially if people at the club aren’t really aware, but he did ten years for being naive and honestly, for being too good for the world.
It’s remarkable that he was in such a hard, hopeless place and he still came out with a heaping amount of optimism.
If I respect one thing about him—and there are many—but if I could only pick one, it would be that. His resilience and endless optimism.
The cats are nowhere to be found. We all sit down on the couch together. Lark and Ella speak quietly when they talk.
“I hope that Lockwood can help.” Lark muses.
“Lockwood? That’s very cloak and dagger. That’s like, the perfect doctor name. That has to be made up.” I’m sure she was referring to the therapist. It came out of nowhere, but no one can forget why this whole thing started.
You don’t meet someone with a condition like this every day, so there’s no doubt that the conversation will inevitably circle back to it. I’m basically a unicorn. Except, a not so fun one.
Ella bites down on a grin. “The best part is that I don’t think it is. It’s his last name, though.”
“That makes sense. It’s a great name.”
Pumpkin is the first to come out. He whips out from behind the desk in the far corner of the room, my work stuff all straightened neatly on top, my laptop closed tightly to protect it from wayward cats roaming or getting the zoomies.
He saunters up like he doesn’t have a care in the world and arches his back to rub against my leg.
The minute I scratch between his ears, his massive purr motor gets going.
“What if you came out with us? Ginny has a converted motorhome, the entire side opens up. It’s like your own little room that can go places.
Maybe that would work?” Lark suggests. We could walk with you to the park, or take you to the beach, or down the back roads to the creek.
You’d be able to enjoy something different, but still have your security. ”
I haul Pumpkin up into my lap so the women can pet him. They do, and he eats up the love. I carefully study him and keep my face blank.
It’s a wild idea, but it’s something.
It’s less crazy of a concept than kidnapping someone.
“You don’t have to commit to it. It’s silly and wild, I know. I shouldn’t have even said that.”
“No! I’ll definitely think about it.” I don’t want Lark to think I’m anything but grateful for her desire to help. And for her willingness to come here and just get to know me.
Like I’m someone worth getting to know.
Ella rubs her fingers over Pumpkin’s hind end. He loves that spot. Some cats don’t, but he’s a rump up in the air type of guy all day, every day.
“The thing about loving rough men is that even if we’re quiet or unassuming, or if we don’t rock the typical biker chick vibe, we’re strong as fuck where it counts.
We would be strong for you, babe. If that’s something you think you might like to take on, in one form or other, you can just let us know and we’ll make it happen. ”
The last thing I wanted to do was cry, but the tears come faster than I can stop them. I brush them away quickly, before Pumpkin can notice and get upset. He’s sensitive like that. He can sense a mood change, and he knows when I’m sad.
“My gosh. Thank you both so much. These are happy, slightly overwhelmed tears, I promise.”
Through the haze, I spot Sprite edging out from the same place Pumpkin was hiding.
He’s so fuzzy and such an orange boy, but she’s a lilac point Siamese.
She has a completely different attitude than Pumpkin.
While he’s easy going, she’s far more persnickety.
She likes what she likes, and she doesn’t what she doesn’t. She’s a little fur baby princess.
“Ahh, what a beautiful kitty!” Ella already has Pumpkin on her lap, which probably prompted Sprite to come out. She gets jealous if he’s getting attention and she’s not.
Lark rubs her fingers together and does the pst pst pst that no cat can resist.
Sprite slinks up. She eyes the strangers warily and blinks her huge blue eyes up at me as if to say that she’s had enough for a day.
She lets me pick her up anyway, and as soon as I get her on my lap, she relaxes and starts purring.
Her motor is soft and virtually silent, but I can feel it vibrating through my thighs.
“We’re here for you anytime.” Lark picks up where I left the conversation off when I started tearing up.
“We’ll leave our numbers, and the clubhouse too. You can always call there, for anything. It doesn’t even have to be an emergency.”
Ella strokes Pumpkin along his ears and down his chin.
He leans into her hand and even starts drooling a little.
“You can just let Maverick or Scythe know when you’re up to having more visitors.
There are so many of us now that you could have someone here pretty much whenever you want. You won’t be bored, that’s for sure.”
In a fit of passion, Sprite climbs up and puts her paws on my shoulder.
She nuzzles the side of my face, rubbing her cold wet nose against my cheek.
“I’d really love that. More than anything, actually.
” I can barely see Lark or Ella over my full face of cat, but I’m sure they can hear the sincerity in my voice.
When they respond, I know they’ve heard me. “We’ll absolutely make it happen,” Lark promises.
“Welcome to the sisterhood,” Ella says, then laughs as Pumpkin headbutts her on the chin.
I’m so glad that I can hide my tears of happiness while I pet Sprite, but as soon as I have them under control and I’m not so overwhelmed that I can’t manage a smile, I treat both women to one of the biggest ones I can ever remember smiling.