CHAPTER 5
I t was nine in the evening, and Logan was ready to hit the road when she got a text just as she locked her door. It was one of her regulars, asking if she wanted to get together that night, and it made her wonder if the woman had heard her door open and close. She was a neighbor, after all. Deciding to test that theory, Logan walked down the hallway and knocked on the door. It opened instantly.
“Hi,” the woman said. “I thought I heard you heading out for the night.”
“I’m going to work,” Logan told her.
“Can you spare an hour?” she asked.
“Has it ever taken an hour?” Logan asked back.
The neighbor laughed, shaking her head, and opened the door wider for her. Logan walked into her apartment and closed it behind her. When she turned around, she watched the woman remove her shirt, revealing the small breasts beneath. Her pants came next, and she kicked them off along with her white cotton panties. With her, Logan didn’t need to be aggressive or demanding. This woman didn’t want commands to come or to be taken hard and fast from behind. She liked it fast and a little hard at times, yes, but she just liked what Logan could do to her body.
Logan removed her own shirt and kicked off her jeans but left her boxer briefs on as she usually did.
“God, I love your body,” the woman said, running her hands over Logan’s chest before she took a nipple into her mouth.
Logan closed her eyes, allowing herself this small bit of pleasure, before she lifted the woman’s head and backed her up until they were at her sofa, where Logan sat down and was straddled a second later. Logan knew her neighbor liked kissing, so she let her slowly work up the kiss until she pulled out of it. She’d been cupping the woman’s ass and moving her hips back and forth, building her up before she slipped a hand between her legs and did the one thing she was good at. Logan moved inside her, and the woman began rocking against her, lifting up and dropping down on Logan’s long fingers that she curled inside.
“Oh, yes,” the woman moaned.
Logan sucked on her nipple and let her thumb press into the woman’s clit. It didn’t take long. It never did. When the woman’s hips rocked faster, Logan took her other nipple into her mouth, pushing the thought of the casino out of her mind.
“Fuck! Yes! Mark me, Logan.”
Logan let her free hand move to her neighbor’s back, and she scratched her short nails down it, hearing the woman hiss. She pushed the sounds of the machines with their bells, whistles, and videos talking to her, telling her to place her bet, out of her head.
“Again,” the woman requested.
Logan repeated the movement, giving her everything she was asking for because it was easy. This was easy. This part she had no problem with. She scratched a little harder, and the woman came against her hand. Logan pushed the feel of the chips, which she used to run her fingertips around and around before she flipped them between her thumb and forefinger, out of her mind, focusing on the sounds the woman she was currently fucking made, and that helped. Her mind calmed. The sights and sounds of her addiction left, and she let go of the nipple and let the woman come down. With an arm still around her neck, Logan pulled out of her and held on to her hips.
“God, you are so good at that,” her neighbor told her with her eyes closed. “Want to go to my room now? I’ve got a new vibe I’d love to try on you.”
“Next time,” Logan said and patted her ass.
“You say that every time,” the woman replied but took the hint, shifting until she was off Logan and lying on the sofa. “It’s charged and ready, probably just like you are right now.”
“Yeah,” Logan said without emotion and stood, trying not to think about the poker game she used to go to and how the cash always felt in her pocket when she’d actually won a few hands.
“We can go again. I just need a minute. Whatever you want,” the woman told her.
“I’ve got to get to work,” she replied before she picked her clothes up off the floor and put them back on.
“You drive for Lyft. I think you can spare ten minutes to make me come again. I’ll let you do anything.”
Logan knew she didn’t really mean it. She had women who did , and if she told them she wanted something specific, they’d let her have it, but her neighbor wasn’t really one of those women. She would be the kind to tell Logan that they could do something, and they’d start, causing Logan to get all hot and bothered, but the woman would take it all back, saying it was too much or she wasn’t into it, after all. Logan would stop, of course. She would never press; she wasn’t that kind of person. Besides, she only did this because the few seconds of pleasure she gave another woman kept her from thinking about what she really wanted to do.
“Next time,” she repeated, slipping back into her shoes. “And I need the cash, so I’ve got to go.”
“Why haven’t I ever seen you totally naked?” the neighbor asked as she reached between her own legs. “You could just stand there and watch, if you want. Looking at you will make me come. Or, you could touch yourself, too, while you watch me.”
Logan did watch her as she started to stroke herself, and it was hot, but she didn’t want to touch herself.
“I’ve got to go. Next–”
“Don’t say, ‘Next time,’ if you don’t mean it.”
Logan nodded and said, “I’ll see you around.”
A few seconds later, she was at the door, pulling it open, when she heard one moan after another. She closed the door behind her and went back to her own apartment in order to wash her hands. She thought about taking care of the aching need between her legs, but she didn’t. Instead, she walked to her car, got in, and opened an app, scrolling for women who might be interested in hooking up. Yes, she’d just had sex, but it was way too brief. It had only taken her mind off chips, cards, and the sights and sounds on the riverboat for a few minutes.
When the slot machines in Vegas made the sound of coins falling at her feet, even though they used cards and all the winnings were loaded on them, Logan felt the weight of the world fall away from her shoulders. She would order another drink, press the buttons again, and let the coin sound take her away. Of course, more often than not, she had lost money. Going to a casino with a hundred bucks and losing all of it had been a common occurrence. Then again, playing poker on her phone for real money and losing most of it, if not all, had also been a common occurrence, and Logan had discovered that after a night of losing her money at a casino, sex went a long way to make her feel better. It distracted her from the fact that she wanted to go back and try again.
While scrolling, she saw a profile of a woman she’d met once on the riverboat. That night, Logan had gotten a little too drunk and had lost two thousand dollars. The woman had worked as the waitress for the casino, bringing her the drinks, and Logan had flirted, lying to her and telling her that she had won five grand. The night had turned into Logan fucking her in the bathroom and letting the woman fuck her in return. It had been two years ago now, and that had been the last time she had been touched by another woman. The saddest part about that night was that she didn’t really even remember most of it.
Logan hadn’t been a big drinker on nights when she gambled, preferring to keep her head about her when money was involved, but that night, she’d been down a lot already, and one drink had led to another. That had then led to the bathroom stall, where they hadn’t exactly been alone. She remembered pressing the woman up against the wall and sliding inside, making her come hard before she’d gotten down on her knees and sucked her until she came again. She remembered hearing someone clear their throat from outside their stall, but she hadn’t stopped. She’d unbuttoned and unzipped her own pants and shoved the woman’s hand in there. She even remembered the woman eagerly stroking her, but she couldn’t remember how it felt. She assumed she’d come, but she couldn’t recall. The next thing she remembered was being at home in bed, alone and still down two thousand dollars.
Logan scrolled past the woman’s profile and closed the app before she opened the Lyft app and found a ride.
Four hours of driving later, she was ready for a break, so she stopped for some fried chicken and sweet tea and ate it in her car, hoping the air freshener she had hanging from her rearview mirror would help cover the smell for her next passenger. Then, she picked up her next ride and another and another until she was exhausted and decided she needed to call it a night.
Around four in the morning, she was in her bed, staring up at her ceiling, which had leaked prior to her moving in. The orangish stain sometimes looked to her like a cloud, and other times, a little bit like Rob Lowe, which she thought was a little weird but let that thought take her away to sleep.
◆◆◆
“Logan, wake up.”
Logan heard the voice, but being half asleep, she didn’t understand what was going on, so she opened her eyes and saw Ava standing over her bed.
“What?”
“It’s ten in the morning,” Ava said.
“I got in at four,” Logan grumbled, rolling over onto her back.
“Cover up your boobs,” Ava told her, looking away.
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” she replied.
“I thought we were going to lunch.”
“We are. You just said it’s ten in the morning. When do you usually have lunch?”
“I was thinking it would be more of a brunch thing,” Ava replied.
“If it was brunch, we would have said brunch,” Logan argued as she sat up.
“Well, can you get dressed, and we have brunch instead? I’m already here.”
“Yeah, making demands,” she said as she stood.
“Logan, you’re naked!” Ava exclaimed, averting her eyes again.
“Yeah, I slept naked last night. It was hot in here, and the AC sucks when it does work.” She pointed to the window unit. “I need a shower.”
“I can wait,” Ava replied as she sat on Logan’s bed.
Logan took in her ex-girlfriend. They had been friends first and had only dated for a short time before Ava had ended things when Logan had messed up one too many times. Since then, though, after a year of not talking, they had managed to get their friendship back, at least. Ava turned her face toward the small TV resting on a few empty crates in the corner of the room. She was wearing a nice dress, which wasn’t unusual for her. Ava had always been much more put-together than Logan had ever been, and there was just something about a prim and proper woman that drove Logan crazy.
“Do you want to join me?” she offered.
“Huh?” Ava asked, turning to her but only looking into Logan’s eyes.
“In the shower.”
“What? No,” Ava replied, crossing her legs.
Logan knew what that meant because Ava had always done that when she was trying to avoid thinking about sex. She’d used to do it before they’d gotten together, and after they’d started dating, Logan began to recognize it as a signal that Ava didn’t even know she was giving off. Logan smirked at her, knowing that Ava could probably use an orgasm. She looked more uptight than usual.
“Come on. One time,” she said. “I’ll do that thing you used to like.”
“Logan…” Ava said softly. “We don’t do that anymore.”
Logan knelt in front of her, placed her hands on Ava’s knees, and gave Ava the expression that she knew would undo her.
“You really don’t want to?” she asked. “How long has it been for you?”
“Two months,” Ava shared.
“Poor baby,” she teased and pushed Ava’s legs apart.
“What are you doing?” Ava asked.
“We can just do this, Ava. It doesn’t have to be anything more. Just sex.”
“We haven’t done this since we broke up, Logan, and there’s a reason for that.”
Logan looked down and licked her lips, noticing Ava’s lacy panties and breathing in her scent for the first time in forever.
“You’re ready, Ava. I can tell. How long have you been like this?”
“A minute,” Ava said and swallowed.
“We were really good at this part,” Logan reminded her.
“So? We’re friends. Come on. Take your shower.”
“You’re not exactly closing your legs or trying to stop me at all, Ava.”
“Fuck,” Ava whispered, giving in.
Logan smirked again and pressed a hand to Ava’s stomach, giving her a little push until Ava was on her back.
“This is a bad idea,” Ava said.
“Tell me no, then,” Logan replied.
“I don’t really want to. I hate that I don’t want to, but I don’t.”
“Then, this is a really good idea,” Logan surmised and leaned forward to lick her over her underwear.
“God,” Ava let out at the touch. “I’m so fucking horny. How did you know?”
“The leg thing,” Logan explained and licked her again before she reached for the hem of Ava’s panties and pulled them down and then off, letting them drop to the floor next to her. “You squeezed your thighs.”
“You always could tell,” Ava replied.
Logan leaned in and licked her properly now, tasting the familiarity and wanting more. She licked her again and again, listening to Ava’s sounds, which she hadn’t heard in years.
“We can’t…” Ava began. “Do this…” She gasped when Logan started to suck on her. “Again. Only once, Logan. I’m really horny right now and… once.”
“Why only once when it feels this good?” Logan asked, pausing her sucking to be able to lick and flick her tongue over Ava’s clit.
“One time,” Ava repeated. “Logan, only… this time.”
Logan wasn’t sure why they couldn’t do this again if they were doing it now , but she sucked on Ava’s clit until Ava was squeezing those thighs around her head and coming hard, how she used to when Logan did that to her. In those few minutes, Logan didn’t think about gambling or her past mistakes. She just enjoyed listening to Ava’s pleasure sounds fill the room. When Ava came down, Logan shifted back on her heels, and Ava slowly leaned up on her elbows and looked down at her, still trying to catch her breath.
“I’m seeing someone,” she admitted.
“What?” Logan asked.
“It’s new.”
“You said it had been two months,” Logan noted and wiped her chin.
“It has been. We’re long-distance. She was in town a couple of months ago and comes back next week. I didn’t tell you about her because we’re not official or anything. We’re dating. She lives in Montana and comes to New Orleans once a quarter.”
“You’re not together?”
“Not technically. We’re seeing how it goes.”
“Then, what’s the problem?” Logan asked as she pushed Ava’s legs apart once more. “Can you come again?”
“Logan…” Ava said.
“What? You’re just dating, Ava. I want to do this with you. Will you let me?”
“Where is this coming from?” Ava asked her as she slid back a little, making it harder for Logan to touch her now, but not impossible.
“I woke up horny. You did, too, apparently,” she said.
“And that’s all this was?”
“Yeah. What else would it be?”
“We dated.”
“For five months a long time ago. I don’t want you back, Ava. I just wanted to fuck you.”
Ava nodded and asked, “Do I get to fuck you ?”
Logan didn’t say anything. She climbed on top of Ava and put her hand on the woman’s inner thigh.
“Just let me go inside. I’ll make it good.”
Ava stared at her in confusion and said, “You’ll make it good? Logan, I don’t need you to make it good. What is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” she deflected and moved off her. “If you don’t want to, it’s fine. I’m going to hop in the shower.”
“No, don’t do that. Talk to me, Logan,” Ava replied. “Have you been going to meetings?”
“What? How did we get to that?”
Logan quickly walked into her bathroom to turn on the water in the shower.
“You’re acting weird. You just went down on me for the first time in years.”
“You looked like you could use it, and I woke up–”
“Horny? Yeah, I got that part.” Ava stood as well before she asked, “If I got in that shower with you, would you let me make you come?”
“I’m going to clean up,” Logan told her, not answering the question. “Do you still want to go to brunch or lunch?”
“That’s what I thought,” Ava said, nodding, before she picked her panties off the floor, slid them back on, and added, “I’m going to go.”
“I thought we were–”
“Logan, you’re doing that thing where you don’t actually talk to me or tell me anything. You stall, delay, change the subject, and pretend we aren’t talking about anything in particular, when you just had your mouth around my clit and I told you that I’m seeing someone.”
“You said you’re not together. What’s the big deal?”
“It could lead there,” Ava replied.
“Then, let it lead there. I told you that I don’t want to get back together. Me fucking you in the shower doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can be just sex if we want it to be. You need it. I want it.”
“I think you’ve got that backward, Logan,” Ava said. “I’m going to go. I’ll call you later to check on you, okay?”
“I don’t need you to–”
“Yes, you do,” Ava interrupted her. “And go to a damn meeting, Logan. God, I can’t believe–” She shook her head.
Logan rolled her eyes and climbed into the shower.
“I hate that you’re the fucking sexiest woman I’ve ever seen!” Ava said loudly enough to be heard through the water running. “You know that, right?”
“Yes, I know that!” Logan yelled back.
“Well, good,” Ava replied.
Logan didn’t hear anything after that, so she scrubbed her face and turned the water all the way to scalding, needing it to help distract her from the fact that she might have just messed up the best and, really, only friendship she had these days.