CHAPTER 27
L ogan had gotten so practiced at being with women that she had nearly told Rory, ‘Next time,’ like she did with all the others. Rory had asked her to come in, and there had been this moment when Logan’s mouth had almost formed those words, which represented promises broken to countless women. She’d stopped herself just in time because she wasn’t going to break a promise to Rory. If she could help it, she would never break a promise to this woman who had so surprisingly captured her heart. Yes, Logan had wanted to stay. She’d wanted to stay with Rory more than she’d wanted anything else in the world, even more than she wanted her leather jacket back, but they wouldn’t have slept together. Logan knew that what she wanted was to fall asleep next to Rory. She wanted to kiss her, hold her, wake up next to her, and not let her get out of bed to go to one of her many jobs or to class because Logan wanted to lie next to her all day and just talk, listen to Rory’s stories, hear her ramble, and smile at her because it was really cute when she did that.
She’d done the right thing, though. She’d left after the best damn kiss of her entire life. And it hadn’t even been the best first kiss. It had been the best kiss Logan had ever had, period. With Ava, their kisses had been good. Their sex life had been great. But this kiss… It had been different. It had been something she never thought she’d get to have. It had held promise and possibility, and she’d heard Rory moan for the first time. Logan wanted to hear that again, and over and over, but if she had to wait for that but got to keep kissing Rory like she had last night, that would not be a problem at all. Rory Winter could kiss. When she’d moved back against the wall and brought her with her, Logan had nearly broken and said she’d come in, after all. That had been a sexy move that had Logan barely able to resist. Her hand had ended up on Rory’s hip, and she’d nearly moved it under Rory’s shirt to feel skin, but she’d waited. She would wait until they were both ready for that.
“You got a goodnight kiss?” Vera asked.
“I did,” she replied on a sigh.
“That good?”
“Amazing,” Logan said.
“Things are progressing a little faster than you thought they would, huh?” Vera noted and sipped on her coffee.
“I don’t know what happened, honestly. We were hanging out at my place one night, and I walked her to her car. Something felt like it was changing. Then, I was telling her I planned on flirting with her at the bar and offering to pick her up from work so that we could hang out instead. It was, like, this natural thing where we were sitting at a table, talking, and I reached out to wrap my arm over her chair because I just needed to touch her. She didn’t push me away, and when she leaned into it, I told her I wanted to hold her hand. She said okay. It just went from there.”
“That’s good, Logan. What happens now?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I haven’t been on a date in a long time, and Rory never has. Well, she had some stupid boyfriend her freshman year of college, who I kind of want to track down and smack, but other than that, she’s never really dated. It’s new for both of us.”
“Are you worried about that?”
“Definitely,” she replied and took a drink of her own coffee. “She deserves so much.”
“So do you,” Vera replied.
Logan turned her head to look out the window and said, “I’m still trying to believe that.”
“It’s a process. When I first stopped gambling, I thought I deserved to live in my little hole-in-the-wall apartment and only eat ramen without the spice packet.”
“What?” Logan chuckled. “What’s the point? That’s just like chicken soup, right?”
“We all rationalize things,” Vera replied.
“Yeah, I guess. Mine was the AC.”
“What do you mean?”
“My apartment doesn’t have central air conditioning, so I bought an old window unit and put it in, but it only worked about half the time and never got very cool. I didn’t bother to fix it.”
“Because you didn’t think you deserved it?”
“The worst part is that it was an easy fix for me. I went to school to be a plumber and electrician because I’d planned to take over my dad’s shop when he retired. I was going to do HVAC next, but… Well, you know what happened. Anyway, it was easy for me to fix, and I could’ve done it months ago for cheap and only a little time, but I didn’t. I don’t even remember thinking that I could fix it, either. It’s like I forgot that entire part of my life and what I was able to do back then.”
“But you did fix it?”
“Yes. I also bought another one on sale, and that’s now in my living room, so my apartment won’t be a sweltering mess this summer when it gets really hot.”
“How much of that work is because of Rory?” Vera asked.
“She asked me that, too, actually. The honest answer is that I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable when she came over, but it was more about me. I knew I could fix it, so I did, and now, she won’t be burning up when she comes over, but I also get to fall asleep in a room and not be so hot that I have to take a cold shower before bed and sleep naked just to be able to get some sleep.”
“And you’re ready to put the work in?”
“Yes, I am,” Logan said.
“For yourself? Not because of your new relationship?”
“It’s not a relationship yet, technically, but yeah, this is for me. I have that best friend I told you about. Ava. She’s my ex but was my friend first, and I put us both in a tricky situation recently. I think that was the moment when I knew I needed to get help.”
“We’ve all been there,” Vera replied. “If you’re willing to put in the work, Logan, I’ll be your sponsor.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Trial basis. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll help you find another.”
“That’s great. Thank you,” Logan said. “I’m also thinking about getting one of those therapy apps, but since you’re my sponsor now, I thought I’d ask you what you thought about that.”
“I see someone every week. I used to go twice a week but cut down to once, and it works for me. It’s another outlet, and she doesn’t judge me. She gives me helpful things to try when I need them, and it’s nice to have her to talk to about what I’m feeling and not worry about anyone finding out.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. I can’t afford an in-person one, but the apps have memberships, and I thought it would be good to have someone I can talk to whenever.”
“Just make sure it’s someone trained to handle addiction.”
Logan nodded and said, “I need to see if they tell you that, I guess.”
“I’m sure they do,” Vera replied and took another drink of her coffee. “So, you’re going to meetings daily now?”
“Yeah, and a couple of times if I need to.”
“How often does it feel like you need to?”
“Depends on the day, really. I like to keep myself busy because it takes my mind off it. The new job has helped a lot: I don’t get a lot of time to think. Driving Lyft gave me all this time to think about it, and I’ll still drive when I need the extra money, but I think bartending is good for me for now. I figured I’d do a meeting before my shift or in the morning if I’m working early, at least.”
“Rory isn’t a distraction?” Vera checked.
“No,” Logan said with a smile. “The other women I was with, they were the distractions. Rory is the real deal.”
“When do you see her again?”
“Tonight, probably. She’ll be at the bar.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“No, but she usually is,” Logan said before she finished her coffee.
“Want some advice not related at all to me being your sponsor?”
“Hell, yeah,” Logan replied.
“Make sure she’s actually going to be there and just do something nice for her.”
“Like what?”
“Bring her flowers or something, if she likes flowers. Ask her out on an official date, not one where you just happen to turn a friendly night out into one.”
“You think?”
“Definitely,” Vera replied. “Make sure she knows that the kiss you had last night was important to you and that you want something real.”
“Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Flowers? Really?”
“Yes, Logan. Girls like flowers.” Vera chuckled.
“Right,” she said. “Flowers. Okay.”
◆◆◆
“Candace, can I maybe put these in the refrigerator or a glass of water or something?” Logan asked.
“Why do you have flowers in my bar?”
“I’m… giving them to someone.”
Candace smirked and looked into the mixed bouquet Logan had in her hand.
“Oh, you should get rid of these.”
“What? Why? Are they bad? I got them from the grocery store. I didn’t have enough time to go to a florist.”
“There are two carnations in that thing. Rory’s allergic. Sneezes like crazy. Flowers, in general, can make her sneeze, but carnations are the worst. She once sneezed all over her great-aunt’s funeral because nearly every bouquet and wreath had carnations in them.”
“Shit,” she said. “Wait. How did you know these were for Rory?”
“Who else would they be for?” Candace replied, laughing. “Just… hold on.” She took the bouquet and left Logan standing there, wondering what she was going to do with a bunch of flowers that would make Rory sick. “Here.” She reappeared a second later, holding out a single red rose.
“Where did you just go and get this from?”
“Keith got me a dozen. They’re in the office. Just don’t let Rory in there, and she won’t know.”
“I thought about roses, but isn’t that a little too much, too soon?”
“It’s either that, or you’ll make her sneeze all over the bar and scare my customers.”
“I could just not get her flowers.”
“Logan, give the girl the rose. She won’t think it’s too much. It’s one flower, not a dozen, and it’s a nice gesture. I’ll take those and put them in the office, too, okay? You can grab them later if you want.”
“No, if they’re going to make her sick, I don’t want them.”
“I’ll give them to Mickey. His wife might like them.”
“Yeah,” she replied, still mad at herself. “Candace, I’m trying.”
Candace smiled and squeezed her upper arm.
“I know. You don’t have to try so hard, though. I know my best friend. She likes you. Just be yourself, okay?”
She nodded, trying to process how being herself would actually work in her favor. Candace took the flowers from her and handed her the red rose.
“She’s coming tonight, right?” Logan asked.
“Why don’t you just call her and ask?” Candace said as she headed back into the office.
Logan walked out to the bar, where she clocked in and checked on the two customers sitting at a table. They must have arrived right when the place opened because she hadn’t gotten there much later than that. She made one of them a fresh drink and returned to her spot behind the bar, thinking about texting Rory to see if she planned to come to the bar and, if so, when she might stop by. Just when she placed the rose Candace had given her in a glass of water and hid it under the bar so that no one could see it, she looked up and spotted Rory walking in through the front door with Jill and Sophie in tow.
“She’s crazy into this whole script thing. She might end up writing movies instead of blogs,” Sophie said as the three of them approached the bar. “I love her, but I don’t want to move to LA. Do you think she’ll make me move to LA?”
“Bryce? No way. She likes it here,” Jill replied.
“Hi,” Rory said with a shy smile aimed at Logan.
“Hey,” Logan replied, smiling back at her and leaning a little over the bar.
“Hey, we’re here, too,” Jill teased, waving at Logan.
“Hi, Jill,” Logan said.
“This is Sophie,” Rory said of her other friend. “I can’t remember if I introduced you or not.”
“No, but she was here that night, and I remember you mentioning her.”
“Hi,” Sophie said.
“Hi. I’m Logan.”
“Nice to meet you,” Sophie replied.
“We’re going to grab a table,” Jill said, and then she and Sophie walked away, giving them a moment alone, which Logan really appreciated.
“Hey,” she said.
“You said that already,” Rory noted.
“I want to kiss you. I haven’t said that yet.”
Rory looked behind her and back at Logan.
“It’s okay,” Logan told her. “Later?”
Rory nodded and said, “I told Sophie that I’m gay, and most of my friends know now. I just don’t know about the whole kissing in the bar thing.”
“Oh, just do it,” Candace told her as she walked into the bar. “I don’t care.”
Logan laughed and reached for the rose, pulling it out of its glass.
“I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out with me,” she said, holding it up for Rory.
“You got me a flower?” Rory asked.
Logan nodded and said, “Is that a yes?”
“Yes, I’ll go out with you, but you didn’t have to–” She paused. “This is really nice, Logan.”
“Yeah?”
Rory nodded again and asked, “Can you keep it back there in water until I leave?”
“I’m working late tonight,” Logan said, taking the rose back from her to put it back into the water. “But I’m not tomorrow. What about you?”
“She’s free!” Candace half-shouted across the bar.
“Candace!”
“What? You are.” She shrugged.
“I’m free,” Rory replied.
“Tomorrow then,” Logan said. “Want a Coke or something else?”
“Can I have whatever you want to make me? Sophie drove.”
“Yeah? You’re going to let me make you a real drink?”
“Not a strong one, Logan.”
“Fine. Anything you don’t want in it?”
“No tequila, please.”
“Got it,” Logan said, trying to think about what to make for her as she dropped the rose into the glass of water again.
When she looked up, Rory was leaning over the bar and was suddenly very close. Logan leaned over again, too.
“So…”
“Yeah, so,” Rory said before she leaned in and gently kissed Logan’s lips. “I’ll be over there now,” she added when she pulled back and pointed to the table.
“I miss my girlfriend,” Sophie said loudly.
“I want a girlfriend,” Jill added.