24. Clementine
Clementine
The weight I had carried for months finally cracked me open when I stepped into the on-call room. I leaned against the door, trying to hold it together, but the relief that Leyland was awake, that his eyes had finally met mine after what felt like an eternity, swept over me like a tidal wave. I didn’t even realize Kayla was in the room until her voice cut through the haze.
“Clem, what’s wrong?” she asked, rising from the couch, her brow furrowed with concern.
I shook my head, unable to speak. The tears came suddenly, a flood I couldn’t hold back. Kayla was beside me in seconds, her hands resting firmly on my shoulders.
“Hey. Talk to me. What happened?”
“He’s awake,” I choked out, voice trembling under the weight of my emotions. “Leyland’s awake.”
The confusion on her face gave way to understanding, and she pulled me into a tight hug. I clung to her like a lifeline, letting out months of fear, hope, and relief in deep, shuddering sobs.
“I didn’t think he’d wake up,” I whispered against her shoulder. “I was so scared we’d never get him back.”
“You’ve been so strong. It’s okay to let this out. He’s here now, and he’s going to be fine.”
I slowly pulled away, deciding right then to get myself together.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it like that.”
“You’ve been holding it in for too long. Don’t apologize for feeling, Clem.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath to steady myself.
“I sent Nurse Jones in to check on him while I looked for you,” I said, wiping my face as best I could and washing my hands. “Let’s go see him.”
As we walked into Leyland’s room, I felt lighter, like the pieces of my heart that had been fractured were slowly beginning to come back together. He was sitting up in bed, looking tired but alert, and my chest ached with the force of my love for him.
I missed him so much.
“Leyland,” I said softly, and his eyes immediately found mine, a flicker of warmth lighting up his expression.
I gestured to Kayla, who Leyland knew of but had never met. After we graduated from med school, she’d opted to do her residency in Michigan and later worked tirelessly for Doctors without Borders.
“This is Dr. Kayla Lang-Roker. I can’t believe it’s your first time meeting, but she’ll be checking you out today, okay?”
The moment the words left my mouth, I saw it—an unmistakable frown tugging at Leyland’s lips. It was subtle, but I noticed it instantly. He said nothing, though, just nodded politely as Kayla moved to his side.
I filed the reaction away for later, unsure of what to make of it.
“It’s nice to officially meet you, Leyland,” she said with a smile from the sink as she washed, then gloved her hands. “Sorry it’s under these circumstances, but I’ll be quick and efficient so we can get you home as soon as possible.”
Leyland hummed, his confused gaze meeting mine briefly before moving it back to Kayla, who had saddled up beside his bed.
Just as promised Kayla worked efficiently, her usual calm persona on full display as she asked Leyland a series of questions, checked his vitals, tested his reflexes, and made detailed notes on his chart.
“Everything looks good so far,” she said after a while, standing at the foot of the bed. “But I want to run some tests before we have the official talk of sending you home.”
Leyland nodded and leaned back against the pillows, shoulders dropping slightly from what I wasn’t sure.
“Whatever you need to do.”
Kayla glanced at me. “I’ll leave you two for now, but I’ll be back to check-in later.”
She left the room quietly, the door clicking shut behind her. The silence that followed was thick with unspoken questions.
I sat down at the edge of the bed, my eyes locked on my husband. He looked better than I expected after months in a coma, but his earlier frown lingered in my mind.
“Why did you frown when I introduced Kayla?” I asked, unable to keep the question inside any longer. “Is there something I should know?”
Leyland’s gaze shifted to me, his expression unreadable, but I felt it—the agony he seemed to be in and it was breaking my heart.
“I had a crazy dream,” he said softly, holding his hand out for me to take. “She was in it, but not with that last name.”
I felt the frown pulling at my lips before I could stop it.
“What do you mean, baby?”
He hesitated, then took a deep breath. “While I was... gone, I lived what felt like a whole different life, but everything was the same except for us. It felt real, tiny. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up.”
His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I tightened my grip on his hand. The feeling that he might disappear ate at me suddenly.
“Except for us,” I parroted softly.
Leyland’s voice was steady, but there was an undercurrent of emotion as he spoke. “We weren’t married. You were engaged to someone else—someone with the last name Roker.”
His confession hung heavy over us. Laughable, but from the look in his eyes, very fucking real.
“James Roker?” I whispered, stunned.
He nodded.
“In that dream, I woke up believing you were my wife, but everyone told me you weren’t. That you were engaged to him. It was... hard, trying to reconcile what I felt with what I was told.”
I blinked, struggling to make sense of it.
“Leyland, that wasn’t real. You know that, right?”
“I do now. But it felt real. So real that seeing Kayla with that last name… it threw me for a second.”
“They met while working overseas for Doctors without Borders and got married a month after returning to the states together,” I told him, needing him to know the full truth. “Both started here the day you had your accident.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I really hated him,” he said, pushing his fingers through mine before opening his eyes. “He wasn’t good to you. And I hated seeing you so unhappy.”
I had a theory, but it didn’t feel like the right time to drop it on him, not when he seemed to be struggling this badly.
“What else did you dream?” I asked, changing positions so that I could lie next to him.
As he recounted the details, I realized, for him, it wasn’t just a dream—it was a life he believed he’d lived. A life where we were strangers and yet deeply connected, where his love for me had been as strong as it was now, even though the circumstances were entirely different.
When he finished, I could only stare up at him, my mind racing to process everything.
“In the end, it sounds like you won my heart just as you had before,” I whispered, amazed at it all.
Leyland reached out and brushed a curl from my face.
“All I know is I had to try,” he murmured, closing the distance until his lips met my forehead. “Turns out we were meant to be.”
“I never stopped being yours, but I have to admit, hearing what you experienced tells me something about us. No matter where, we’ll find each other…” I closed my eyes for a moment, trying hard to slow my racing heart. “And no matter what, we’ll always fall in love.”
He was my person.
The love of my life.
My everything .
And I couldn’t thank God enough for bringing him back to me.