Chapter 5 Antonia
Antonia
I kept Miri updated throughout the game, each time Cutter scored or did something I thought was good.
I didn’t know crap about basketball, but almost everyone cheered for Grove Hill.
And each time I texted Brendan with a video or the score, he said the game was close.
All I knew was Cutter scored a lot, and Nova and I clapped a lot.
After the game, we waited in the gym for Cutter to come out from the locker room. When he did, Nova ran toward him. He scooped her up and lifted her toward the basketball rim. She hung there for a second, sending my heart to the floor and back up again.
“You look scared,” he said when he approached me.
“I was afraid you were going to drop her.”
“Nah, I do it all the time. Did you take any videos?”
I nodded and considered handing my phone over so he could look through them, but I didn’t want him to inadvertently see any texts from his mom. I hated lying to him, but he and Nova didn’t need to worry about their mom right now. I was doing enough of that for everyone.
“Come on, let’s go home.” I put my arm through the crook of his.
“Everyone’s going out for ice cream,” Cutter said as we walked out of the gym. “Do you think I could go?”
I was positive Miriam would let him go, but she knew the kids and their parents and knew who to trust. I didn’t.
“What time would I have to pick you up?” I worried about Nova. She needed her sleep. Cutter did as well, but being nine years older than her, he could manage.
“Coach Schmidt could bring me home,” Cutter said. “He lives down the street from us.”
Cutter’s face fell when he saw me grimace. I wanted to say yes but felt uncomfortable doing so. I didn’t know his coach, and Miri had never mentioned him. That didn’t mean she wasn’t a fan; he just wasn’t someone we’d ever chatted about.
Nova tugged on the corner of my jacket. I looked down at her. Her wide, expressive hazel eyes bored into mine. She waggled her index finger at me. I bent and listened.
She cupped my ear and whispered, “Can I go for ice cream?”
I did the same. “Why are you whispering?”
“Because Cutter gets pissy if I go.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t say ‘pissy,’ and yes, we’ll go for ice cream.” I rose to my full height and nodded at Cutter. “How about we all go, but Nova and I will sit far away from you and the team?”
Cutter smirked. “It’s not that serious.”
Brat.
Miri had mentioned his attitude and that he was at times defiant and snarky.
I’d reminded her that I’d been the same way with my parents, and this was a stage most of us went through.
Everyone but her. She never would’ve dared to cross her parents.
The repercussions would have been far too grave, evident by the fact that she hadn’t seen them since she was seventeen.
Nova and I followed Cutter out of the gym and to my car. As we approached, he turned to me with a glint in his eyes, which immediately put me on alert.
“Can I drive?”
I shook my head. “No, thanks.”
He sighed dramatically and threw his head back. “Come on, Toni.”
“Nope, not with Nova in the car.” I pressed the fob to unlock the doors. Nova followed me around to the driver’s side and got in behind me, while Cutter dumped his bag in the back seat and then sat in the front.
“Brendan would let me drive.”
“Brendan isn’t here,” I reminded him as I started the car and pulled out of the parking spot. “Where is the ice cream place?”
“On Main,” he muttered, pressing his head to the window.
“You played well.” I hoped to break whatever the tension was between us.
“Thanks. Coach says I have a shot at playing in college.”
“Really? That’s great.”
“Yep,” Cutter said, a little perkier this time. “This summer will be a good test. We’re going to travel south for some big tournaments.”
“Who’s ‘we’?” I turned onto Main Street and began looking for a place to park. Cutter pointed to a spot, which I effortlessly paralleled into.
“You have to teach me how to parallel park,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt. “Mom refuses to park on the street unless she can pull in.”
“I’ll teach you,” I said as I put my car into park and shut it off. I glanced at Nova through my rearview mirror. She looked tired but had unbuckled. Honestly, she deserved ice cream. We all did. Once we were on the sidewalk, I asked Cutter again what he’d meant by “we.”
“My travel team,” he said as he held the door to the ice cream parlor open. Despite it being winter, the place was packed, mostly with teens from the basketball game. We took our place in line and waited.
“Go on.”
“Oh, right.” Cutter shook his head. “I played with them over the summer. Do you remember when you and Brendan came to my games in Boston?”
I nodded.
“That’s the team. We did really well, and Coach is going to take us farther south, where we’ll find better competition and more scouts.”
“What are the scouts for?”
“College,” Cutter said as we moved forward. “The tournaments give scouts a chance to see a ton of players at the same time.”
“So this summer travel is for basketball?”
“It’s for baseball too,” he said. “Coach has the schedule down to a science—at least that’s what he says. He makes sure there isn’t any overlap.”
“Overlap?”
“You know, for those of us who play two sports. Like I’ll never have a basketball tournament on the same weekend there’s a baseball tournament.”
“Ah,” I said, pretending to understand. If it wasn’t for Cutter, I probably wouldn’t have ever seen a game of any kind. Whenever Brendan went to one of the many sporting events in Boston, I tended to stay home, where it was quiet and not crowded.
Cutter, Nova, and I ordered. Once we had our ice creams, he went to sit with his team while Nova and I found a spot for the two of us. She ordered vanilla with sprinkles, while I went with my favorite: black raspberry and chocolate.
“Do you want a bite?”
She shook her head no. “Do you want a bite of mine?”
I nodded and leaned forward, taking the spoonful from her. “So good,” I muttered with my mouth full. “Do you want to try mine?” I asked her again. Nova was a fussy eater. Miri tried to get her to try everything, but Nova often refused.
She scrunched her nose and shook her head. “No, thanks.”
I shrugged. “Oh well, more for me.”
Nova and I finished and then colored on the place mats for a bit while we waited for Cutter. In hindsight, I should’ve texted Miri and asked her if it was okay for Cutter’s coach to bring him home. It was cold out, Nova and I were both tired, and my mind was elsewhere.
When she began rubbing her eyes, I told her I’d be right back and went to get Cutter, knowing full well I could face his teenage wrath, making me miss the sweet little boy he’d been.
As I approached the group of kids, I gave Cutter a soft but apologetic smile. He rolled his eyes and groaned audibly. “Sorry,” I said when he came near. “It is a school night, and Nova needs to get to bed.”
Cutter, in all his teenage angst, walked past me and out the door without waiting for me and his sister. I sighed heavily and went back to Nova to gather our things. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go home.”
“How come Cutter is a butthead?”
“He’s salty because I won’t let him stay out later.”
“Mommy would be sooo mad at him right now.”
Well, this is good to know.
“Yeah . . .”
The ride home was quiet. When we got to the house, Cutter slammed the car door twice and stomped up the stairs. I ignored him. It was the only way to deal with a sullen teenager, according to the wise words of my mother.
After Nova’s bath and a bedtime story, I tucked her in and left her door ajar. Bracing for attitude, I then knocked on Cutter’s door.
“Yeah?”
I cracked it open a bit. “Do you take the bus in the morning?”
“Mom usually takes me.”
“Okay, what time do we need to leave?”
Cutter gave me the time and told me to drop Nova off after him.
“Okay, good night, Cutter.”
“Toni?”
He said my name as I began closing the door. There had been a time when I was “Ant Toni,” making a play on my name, but he hadn’t called me that since he’d turned thirteen. I missed those days.
“What’s up?”
“Is Mom okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
Cutter shrugged. “The last couple of months, she hasn’t been feeling well. She had a cough and said it was nothing, but she seemed very tired.”
I let his words sink in and worked hard to mask my facial expressions. “When she gets home tomorrow, I’ll ask her.”
He stared, long and hard. No doubt trying to figure out if I was lying or not.
I hated lying to him. When he was little, I promised to always tell him the truth.
But I’d also promised Miri. Besides, his mother wasn’t home because she was having testing done, and if it turned out she was sick, that would be something Miriam would have to tell her children.
“Good night,” I said after a long silence.
Cutter gave me a half smile and turned in his swivel chair toward his desk.
Slowly, I closed the door and stood there for a moment with my fist poised to knock again.
I remembered being a teen and how hard life seemed then, and that was when life was easy.
Of course, I could only say that because being an adult with bills and responsibilities wasn’t all that fun.
I walked down the hall to Miri’s room and went in.
It was better for me to believe she was away at work than lying in the hospital.
As I crawled into her bed, I thought about calling her but didn’t want to wake her.
Knowing her, though, she was likely staring out the window, looking at the stars.
I got up, opened her blinds, and then texted her: I’m looking at the stars.
Me too, she texted back right away.
This would be enough for the night.