Chapter 27 Antonia
Antonia
The service for Miri was lovely. I had thought about saying something, telling everyone our story, but in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to stand up there and look out at a sea of people dabbing their eyes. Selfishly, I didn’t want to share her with people I barely knew.
The reverend finished by inviting everyone over to Miri’s house. As soon as her parents had shown up, I wanted to tell him not to say anything, but something told me they’d end up finding us anyway.
While the pallbearers carried the casket toward the back of the church, Cutter, Nova, and my family followed behind. At a later date, the three of us would set Miri into the ground and cover her with the marker the kids had picked out for her. We wanted to say our own goodbyes in private.
Cutter and Nova stood by the black hearse, which would lead a procession to their home. Once the casket had been loaded, I spoke with the funeral director briefly and then sent the kids to my car.
Weston had stepped into a role I didn’t know I needed—a friend, a shoulder to cry on, and a protector—and walked next to me with his hand on my lower back until we’d reached my car.
“Do you want me to drive?” he asked, his mouth close to my ear. I nodded, and he guided me around to the passenger side and held the door open for me. He checked on the kids in the back seat and then shut my door.
He slid into the driver’s seat, pushed the starter, and then pressed the button for the flashers. The assistant to the funeral director pointed to where my car needed to be. Weston eased forward until he was behind the hearse.
“You did a nice job up there, Cutter,” Weston said, breaking the silence.
“That was hard and uncomfortable.”
“A eulogy will always be the hardest speech you write or give,” I added.
“How come I didn’t give one?” Nova asked.
The procession finally started, and I had to look away even though Miri wasn’t in the hearse in front of us. Just the fact that we were doing this hurt.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” I said as I cleared my throat. “I didn’t think you’d want to stand up there.” I turned in my seat to face her. “Would you like to say something at the house when everyone is there?”
Nova nodded, but I suspected she wouldn’t want to once she had everyone’s attention on her. I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You did very well in church.”
“It was for Mommy.”
“I’m sure she was watching.”
Nova’s eyes roamed around the car and then looked out the window. She hadn’t smiled in days, and I missed seeing it. Nova reminded me so much of Miri in the way she looked and in her mannerisms.
I relaxed against the headrest and kept my eyes on my best friend’s kids—strong, resilient, and facing the hardest obstacle of their lives. I could only hope I’d live up to her expectations where her children were concerned.
“We’re home,” Weston said as he turned into the driveway. The hearse parked in the road until the last car of the procession had arrived, and then the director left. What a business death was.
The kids got out of the car and ran up to the house. I sat there with Weston, staring at the garage doors that either needed a great coat of paint or replacing. Either way, something had to change.
“Were those her parents?”
“Yeah,” I said, not needing him to specify.
“I’m torn because how shitty must it be to find out through an obituary that your only child died, but then again, how shitty do you have to be to kick your only child out of the house because she wanted to keep her baby?
” I shook my head. “They never reached out. Not even to my parents to check on Miri. They didn’t even know about Nova until today.
The way her father looked at me and then at Nova .
. . you could see it in his face. She looks identical to Miri, and I’m sure it hurt him to see it. ”
“Miriam doesn’t want her family to have anything to do with the kids?”
I shook my head. “They didn’t want her, so there’s no need for them to want her children now.”
Weston nodded. “I suspect they’ll show up today.”
“Yeah.” I pushed imaginary lint off my dress.
“I don’t want you to worry. Between your brother, me, and Jerome, we’ll make sure the kids are safe.”
I looked at him, and he smiled softly. He’d been my rock ever since Miri came home to die, always there when I needed him and even when I didn’t. I didn’t know how he managed to do it, but he had a knack for being in the right place at the right moment.
“People are starting to walk in,” he said in the quiet. “We can go in or stay in the car. Whatever you want.”
“What I want isn’t possible.”
He nodded, knowing from our past conversations that the only thing I wanted right now was to go back in time and catch the cancer before it got out of control.
“But I guess I need to put on a fake smile and pretend I’m happy to have everyone in her house.”
Weston linked his hand with mine. “No one expects you to fake it, Antonia. Go in there and be Miriam’s best friend.”
That was something I could do easily.
He came around to my side and held the door open for me. Over the past handful of weeks, that was one of the things I’d noticed about Weston: He was a constant gentleman.
Inside, people lingered. They had drinks and made themselves plates of finger foods.
While my mom had wanted to make everything, Lee from the Ridgeview Diner had insisted on catering.
Samira had provided the family with breakfast every day since Miri passed, and Vera had taken care of the flower arrangements.
It was because of Miri and how she treated people that I was able to give her a decent farewell.
I found my sister, Isabella, sitting in the corner with Nova on her lap. “Hey,” I said as I approached them. “I’m happy to see you’re eating.” Nova gave me a one-arm shrug and swirled her celery stick in the ranch.
Isabella was a nurse and had given me valuable advice when I told her Miri was sick. Now, she was taking on the role of another doting aunt.
“Did you see who’s here?”
My sister nodded. “She’s in the living room. I haven’t seen him yet.”
A long time ago, my brother, Rocco, had joked one time that Miri’s parents didn’t deserve names after what they’d done to Miri. We all agreed and had collectively decided to stop referring to them by their first names.
I sighed heavily at what faced me and thanked my sister for watching after Nova. I had zero intention of seeking the Vaughns out. When they were ready to talk, they’d find me. Until then, I mingled, thanked people for coming, listened to their stories about Miri, and kept my eye on Cutter.
Thankfully, he had a strong group of friends surrounding him, but it was mostly Eleni and Flinn by his side. As soon as Cutter told his best friend his mom had died, Flinn was at the door. He’d been at the house every day since, staying by Cutter’s side, even at night.
I liked that their friendship was like mine and Miri’s.
It gave me hope that Cutter would always have someone to talk to about anything.
I wondered if Mara would be the same for Nova or if Nova would shut down.
The latter weighed heavily on my mind, and I was thankful we’d gotten into therapy.
Not only as a family but individually as well.
Some people stayed for minutes, while others stayed for hours. When the house was almost empty, my mom and Samira worked in the kitchen, packaging up food we didn’t need but would keep. Finger foods were great for munching on when your stomach needed something but wasn’t ready for a big meal.
The last of the guests were Miri’s book club friends. I walked out with them, hugged and thanked them, and told them I’d see them for the next meeting. I would go in Miri’s place, at least for a little bit.
When I turned toward the house, I saw Miri’s parents lingering in the yard, talking to Weston. I didn’t care to know what they were speaking about. I already knew it would be about the kids or Miri.
As much as I didn’t want to go over there, I did. This time, I put my hand on Weston’s lower back, letting him know I was there. He didn’t miss a beat, though, as he cupped my right cheek and leaned down to whisper in my left ear, “They’re asking a lot of questions about the kids.”
I nodded against his stubbled cheek, and a shiver went through me.
There was no denying this man was gorgeous, sexy, and worthy of anyone’s attention.
But was I worthy of him? If Miri hadn’t said anything, I would’ve been too blind to notice him flirting.
He was subtle in his ways, and I appreciated it.
“You wanted to talk,” I said very pointedly. “Talk.”
“Maybe we can go inside,” her father said. I glanced at the house Miri had loved so much and began to shake my head, but having this conversation outside wasn’t the smartest idea.
They followed me. I scanned the living room for Nova and then my sister.
“They’re napping,” my mother said, as if she knew who I was looking for.
Cutter stood when he saw who was behind me. Flinn was still with him, and even he knew the heaviness of the moment.
“We’re going to be at the table.”
Should I have asked Cutter to go upstairs?
Maybe.
But he was less than two years away from being an adult and deserved to hear what these people had to say.
I sat at the head of the table, and my father sat opposite me, with my mom next to him. Cutter leaned against the wall, with Weston nearby. I didn’t care that Weston was there and appreciated that he’d stayed.
Miri’s parents took the chairs opposite my mom, which put her mother right next to me. I wanted to move, to go stand far away from them, but I stayed and clasped my hands in my lap.
It was hard to think there was ever a time in my life when I knew these people, but now they were nothing but strangers.
“I guess my first question is, Why you didn’t call us?” Kenneth asked. I raised my eyebrow and cocked a look at Victoria.
“As I told your wife, Miri didn’t want me to.”
She made some audible but indecipherable sound and dabbed at her eyes. “Did she leave us a letter or anything?”
“No, why would she?” I asked, looking at them. “What would she say?”
“The last time we saw her, we both said some things—”
My dad interrupted Kenneth. “I believe the last time I saw you, the day I brought her over to pick up what little clothes you allowed her to take, you told her she wasn’t welcome in your home.”
“We only wanted what was best for her,” Victoria said quietly.
“Cutter was best for her,” I said, motioning toward him.
“She loved him before he was even here. We all did. He didn’t ruin her life.
You did. You were so damn worried about your image, you never stopped to think about what you were doing to your only child.
You broke her when you told her she had to choose your path.
You also lost everything that day,” I reminded him. “Miri succeeded despite you.”
“Having a child when you’re still a child is hard.”
“How would you know?” my mother asked Victoria. “Did you do it?”
Victoria gasped as if she was offended. Her mouth opened to say something, but I didn’t give her a chance.
“You had years to make amends,” I pointed out. “You could’ve easily gone to my parents and asked them to get word to Miri, but you didn’t.”
“I was ashamed,” Victoria said quietly.
Good. She should’ve been.
Victoria looked at Cutter and offered him a smile, which he didn’t return. I watched him closely to see how he’d react to his other grandparents. He was close with mine, as they were there from the beginning, and my parents doted on him and Nova.
“We’d like to get to know you and your sister,” she said to him. I’d suspected that was why they’d shown up.
Cutter said nothing at first and then blurted out, “What would you like to know?”
“We don’t have a list of questions, son,” Kenneth said.
Cutter turned red. “I’m not your son. Don’t ever call me that.”
I could swear my father smirked.
Victoria cleared her throat. “We don’t live far from the Bernardis. Maybe you could come to our house and get to know us?”
“They’re my grandparents,” Cutter said. “We’re usually pretty busy when we’re at their house.”
Kenneth and Victoria nodded. I didn’t know if they’d expected Miri to keep what they’d done to her a secret or what. One thing was for sure: They’d underestimated Cutter.
“I think you should go.” Cutter stood straight up, put his hands in his pockets, and motioned toward the door.
Flinn stood right next to his best friend, as did Weston.
Rocco appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room.
If these people didn’t do as Cutter suggested, his family was going to do it for them.
“My aunt has been gracious by allowing you in our home, but I’d like you to leave,” Cutter added tersely.
Victoria looked at me with pleading eyes.
“It’s his house,” I stated.
“We’d like visitation.”
And there it was, the bomb and the outlandish request. I wanted to laugh but kept my cool.
“Of? Because Cutter’s of age and can decide what he wants to do.”
“Of both, obviously. But clearly, he’s not amenable, so of Nova.”
Nothing but rage coursed through my body as I recalled flashbacks of them yelling, screaming, and throwing things at Miri when she’d told them she was pregnant with Cutter.
Their voices, laced with threats, slurs, and nothing but pure hatred for their daughter, echoed through my mind.
I remembered it like it was yesterday. They’d kicked her to the curb like yesterday’s trash.
These people had had no clue Nova even existed until they’d read Miri’s obituary, and now they wanted visitation. To do what—brainwash her? Not on my watch.
My hands clenched into fists under the table. I bit the inside of my cheek. A habit I’d formed to keep me from crying was now keeping me from lashing out.
If they wanted to see Nova, they could prove it.
“If you can tell me Nova’s birthday, I’ll introduce you right now.”
Everyone waited while Victoria’s mouth opened and closed, like a fish looking for water.
“That’s what I thought.” I stood, pushed my chair in, and gripped the back. “All you had to do was apologize and accept her for who she was. That’s all she ever wanted from you: acceptance.”
I left the room with Weston and Cutter hot on my heels and headed out back. My parents would make sure my message was loud and clear. Cutter wrapped me in his arms, hugging me tightly.
“They can’t take us, right?”
I shook my head as best I could. “No, I’ll never let that happen.”
First thing tomorrow, I’d reach out to the lawyer I’d hired and tell her to get the paperwork for guardianship in front of the judge as fast as possible and pray the Vaughns wouldn’t push the issue any further.
If they did, I’d fight.