Chapter Twelve
Twelve
VAGUELY FAMILIAR FEELINGS POKED AROUND inside of Grayson, like old ghosts coming back to visit.
He tried to squash them—the shimmer of attraction burning brighter with each interaction, the curiosity that hummed when Charlie spoke—but they remained, restlessly tormenting him.
With her staying at the lodge, getting close wasn’t a wise choice.
Friendly was fine, but every time he saw her, he didn’t want just friendly.
While part of him was happy to know the old Gray still existed, the hopeful guy who believed in taking chances, he was smarter now.
More cautious. More sure that he wasn’t ever jumping off a ledge again without ensuring the landing was one hundred percent safe.
“You want to take that platter out?” Levi gestured to the hot dogs he’d piled high.
Of course Levi couldn’t just grill up some regular dogs.
The platter Gray picked up to carry out to the back included the fixings for taco dogs, chili cheese dogs, veggies to go with or without a veggie dog, Greek dogs, and the croissant dog, which was proving to be a favorite among the lodge guests.
Outside, the women had wrangled the kids around the long tables they’d pushed together so everyone could sit and enjoy lunch in the summer sunshine.
Presley was back from her meeting, Becks had returned from a boating trip, and their parents had shown up with Levi’s mom and dad to lend a hand and have some lunch.
The noise and laughter, some of it from guests who’d chosen to join in on the fun with or without kids, filled Grayson’s soul the way water filled the lake. Everyone he loved was here and happy and it was pretty much the greatest feeling he could imagine.
And then his eyes met Charlie’s where she stood off to one side, chatting quietly with one of the guests. Immediately, that happiness lapped at the edges and overflowed.
He shook his head, forced himself to break eye contact, and set down the platter.
He’d known his ex for years, reconnected with her as a friend, built a foundation, and planned a life.
And it’d exploded. The memories of that should keep him from doing anything more than flirting with Charlie.
His life was finally locking into place with some sense of normalcy.
He didn’t need anything knocking him over again. Or anyone.
Grabbing a regular hot dog with mustard and ketchup, Gray stood on the edges of the fray and enjoyed listening to everyone talk. His dad sidled up next to him, a chili dog half eaten.
“How’s it going, son?”
Gray smiled. “I’m good, Dad. Nice to see everything weaving together so well.
I was a little nervous to let Jilly run an event here when we had a full house.
I didn’t want guests to feel put out. Bernie’s niece actually suggested that we let any of the guests’ kids join in if they wanted to, though, and that seemed to go over well. ”
His dad finished off the final bite of his lunch. “Charlie. Yes, I just met her. Seems like a nice girl. Her eyes are swimming with trouble.”
“What’s that mean?” Gray took a bite of his hot dog, looking at his dad.
Someone turned on Taylor Swift. Ollie and Jilly played her so much, Gray knew all the words. Beckett had caught him singing along in his office last week and recorded it. Growing up didn’t mean his younger siblings stopped trying to get under his skin.
Wiping his mouth with his napkin, his dad cleared his throat. “Women carry their emotions in their eyes. Even when she was smiling and saying how nice it was to meet me, there was a sadness hovering like a rain cloud.”
Gray arched a brow. “I’m not sure if that’s insightful or a little weird.” It also felt incredibly accurate.
His dad, whom Gray looked a lot like—which got stranger as Gray got older because it was like staring into an aging mirror—chuckled.
“It can be both. I’ve been married a long time.
Even if I hadn’t, your sister going through her divorce and coming home with Ollie taught me a lot.
She’d tell me on the phone that she was okay, that she was just fine.
But one look in her eyes and I could see there were things she wasn’t saying. ”
Gray felt the same about Jilly. He’d hated knowing his sister wasn’t happy in her marriage, especially after Ollie came.
It was hard enough knowing her relationship was suffering at the time, but afterward, when she’d settled back in Smile, she’d told them how isolated she’d become because of her ex’s poor business dealings, which greatly impacted her friendships.
But now, she was thriving. And getting married and having another baby.
She’d landed on her feet. Without knowing for sure that she would.
He quickly silenced the little whisper in his brain.
Charlie did remind him a little of Jilly at that time, now that he thought of it. She wasn’t telling the full story of why she was here. Truthfully, it was none of his business and it’d be better for everyone if he didn’t try to figure out the what or why.
“Charlie’s a nice woman. I’m not sure how long she’s here, but Bernie is so happy that she is.”
Now, his dad clapped him on the shoulder. “She might have some clouds in her eyes, but that woman is like sunshine for Bernie. He seems brighter and happier.”
Again, Gray couldn’t disagree. They chatted a bit more about Beck and Presley’s wedding, the bookings for the rest of the month, and some plans they had for a fishing trip. Time was moving quickly and he wasn’t quite sure they’d fit everything in.
As he moved around the group, chatting with guests and the kids, Gray found himself gravitating toward Charlie. Unintentional, he told himself. But he knew he was lying. She was like the sun, all right. He wanted to lean toward her and soak up the warmth.
Charlie was chatting with Mo, Smile’s General Store owner and resident psychiatrist. Something Mo said made Charlie laugh and the tinkling sound of it sent a rush of energy to Gray’s chest.
“Hello, Grayson,” Mo said.
He kissed her cheek, smiling when her thick, dark hair tickled his cheek.
She usually wore it twisted and tucked up, but today it fell loose around her shoulders, making her seem younger.
No one was brave enough to guess her age.
She’d known Gray and his siblings their whole lives and, to him, was a vital part of their community.
“How’s it going, Mo? Thanks for helping out with all of this,” he said, smiling at Charlie.
“My pleasure. And I’m getting to chat shop with someone new.”
Grayson put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, raising his brows at both of them. “Are you two over here silently assessing us?”
Mo laughed, loudly. “Oh, Grayson Keller, you know me better than that. There’s nothing silent about my opinions.”
Charlie and Gray laughed. Charlie touched Mo’s arm. “She’s been telling me about you and your siblings as kids and some of the trouble you used to get into.”
Gray groaned. “Isn’t there some confidentiality thing?”
Mo patted him on the shoulder. “Not from stories about you, Beckett, and Levi stealing a couple of ATVs so you could make crop circles in the snow and scare the heck out of Mr. Kramer.”
Shaking his head with the fondness of that memory, and the aftermath of its punishment, he laughed.
Mr. Kramer had died about five years earlier and was missed by the community at large.
He used to bring them all out to his farmland and hold movie nights.
Gray, Beckett, and Levi thought they had been so funny leaving those circles for him.
Mr. Kramer had been one hundred percent sure, until Gray’s parents enlightened him, that the circles were a real sign of other life visiting.
“If you two will excuse me, I’m going to grab another snack,” Mo said.
“I love how almost everyone I speak to has a story about you or your siblings,” Charlie said.
Turning so he could see everyone, which put him shoulder to shoulder with Charlie, he made a small hmph sound. “Doesn’t really seem fair. Maybe you need to tell me one of your secrets to even the playing field.”
She leaned in, her arm brushing his, making his skin feel too tight. She smelled really good, like honey and berries.
“Here’s one: I had a really good time last night. I didn’t think I’d have a real reason to smile for a long while yet. Somehow you, your family, and Bernie have made me feel like even though I never expected to end up here, it might turn out okay.”
Charlie’s fingers grazed his, making his gut clench. Need—to link his hand with hers—coursed through his veins. Oh yeah, he recognized these feelings. He’d promised himself he’d never allow them in again.
He knew better, but that didn’t stop him from lightly linking their pinkies. And the wicked fast beat of his heart didn’t mean he missed the sound of her slightly shaky inhalation either.
“You’re good with kids.” Animals and children were sometimes the best judges of characters. Every one of these kids had been interested and invested in the activities Charlie ran with them. She’d talked to them respectfully, listened gracefully. Grayson believed that said a lot about her.
“Kids are easy.”
Gray laughed louder than he meant to. Only someone who was good with kids thought that way. He turned, pulling his hand away from hers, and stared at her, wondering if she was serious. “Not everyone feels that way. The fact that you do says a lot about you.”
She shrugged, averted her gaze. “Kids boil it down to the basics. There’s no subterfuge, no pretense. What they give you is one hundred percent genuine.”
An old memory of Lana telling him she didn’t want kids after all surfaced, making Gray wince.
He’d forgotten that they’d fought over it.
It was one more thing that got caught in the giant chasm between them.
When he walked away, he buried his desire to have children with the rest of the hopes his divorce vanquished.
“You listen when they speak like what they said really mattered to you.”
“It does.” Charlie looked over to where people were starting to clean up from lunch; kids were getting restless and the adults were making plans.
“Who listens to you, Charlie? Who makes sure you know that what you say and how you feel matters?” He wasn’t sure where the words came from but he wasn’t sorry he said them.
Turning her head slowly, her gaze wide, she blinked, like she was trying to refocus. “I don’t need that. I’m better at dealing with other people’s problems than my own.”
Grayson had learned the hard way that running or hiding from problems didn’t make them disappear. “If you change your mind…” He let the words lie between them while their gazes lingered.
His phone rang even as Levi called his name. She smiled, taking a couple backward steps away from him. “You have more than enough on your plate. Thanks for lunch. It was worth the wait.”
He laughed. “Thank Levi.”
“I’ll do that. See you later, Grayson.”
He let his phone go to voicemail, staring after Charlie until he couldn’t see her any longer.
She was absolutely right; he had plenty on his plate.
So why did being near her make him feel like something was missing?
Levi called his name again. They were clearing the tables.
Grayson forced himself back into the moment.
He had work to do. Charlie might lie to herself and say she didn’t need anyone to talk to but Grayson couldn’t hide from his own truths.
He liked Charlie Ashford and despite a few warning bells ringing in his brain, he knew he wouldn’t stop himself from seeking her out again. Soon.