Chapter Twenty
Twenty
WHEN HIS LUNGS STARTED TO ache, Gray pushed harder and kept running.
He’d been at it for over a half hour and the heavy pounding of his feet on the path, the scent of fresh air, and the cool breeze did nothing to get Charlie out of his head.
Though thinking about her was a hell of a lot more pleasant than worrying about the lodge and whether or not he was being shortsighted.
When he spotted Bernie and Charlie coming out of one of the trails, he nearly tripped over his sneakers. Had he conjured her? He thought about her enough to believe he could.
Charlie’s face lit up at the sight of him and damn if that didn’t thrill him. He could tell himself to proceed with caution all he wanted, but his heart wasn’t in the mood to listen to his brain.
Bernie waved. “You’re running late tonight.”
He stopped in front of them, his breath sawing in and out. “The day got away from me.”
Charlie ducked her gaze, almost shyly, and he wondered if she felt the same pull he did. Maybe she’d gone back to the cabin last night and decided he wasn’t worth the complication.
When she lifted her eyes to his again, the intensity would have stolen his breath if he’d caught it yet. She hadn’t changed her mind.
“Lots of them do that, don’t they?” Bernie asked.
“What?” Gray shook his head and looked at him. “Sorry. I spaced out for a minute.”
This only made the old guy grin wider. “That happens, too. Well, I’m going to head down and turn in. Why don’t you two walk back together?”
“We can all walk together,” Gray said. He smiled at Charlie. “It’s always better than anyone being out here alone.”
They started to walk, but Charlie sent him a wry smile. “You’re out here alone.”
As Bernie walked ahead of them, he linked his hand with hers. “Not anymore.”
They chatted about Beckett and Presley’s wedding, how nice Lux Cove was, and made plans for the three of them to have lunch the next day at Brothers’ Pub.
He needed to connect with both brothers anyway.
It’d been a while. Having friends who didn’t talk to each other could make things tense, but having twins who actively avoided each other was beyond.
Everyone was still trying to navigate their way around Leo and Liam’s estrangement.
By the time they got down the trail, the stars were out in full force. The guests were tucked in for the night; his staff, Levi and Jilly, and Beckett and Presley had all gone home.
“Oh, shoot,” Bernie said when they stopped by the lodge. “I think I forgot my sweater at your place, Grayson. Charlie, would you mind grabbing that for me? I’m just going to head back to the cabin and get settled for bed. No better sleep aid than all of this fresh air.”
“I can bring it down,” Grayson said, trying to remember if Bernie had been wearing a sweater earlier.
“No need,” Bernie said, smiling at Charlie. “You don’t mind, do you, dear?”
“I don’t mind,” Charlie replied slowly, clearly picking up on the same vibe as Gray.
Bernie was about as subtle as his sister and Presley. He waved and continued walking. “See you kids tomorrow.”
Gray laughed. “Wow.” He looked at Charlie, brows lifted. “At this point, I didn’t think anything Bernie said or did would surprise me.”
Charlie shook her head. “My dad was gone by the time I started dating, but I think that was the equivalent of him giving you his car keys and telling you not to worry about getting me home by curfew.”
Despite everyone’s insistence that he had something to offer Charlie, his nerves flared like fireflies in his gut.
“I have to jump in the shower, but there’s leftover spaghetti from dinner.
It’s one of my favorite meals Levi makes.
We could … watch a movie or something?” Jesus.
He was stammering like he didn’t know how to string words together.
Charlie folded her hands together, looking at him, something unreadable in her gaze. She nodded slowly, like she was letting herself warm up to the idea, and those fireflies burned brighter. He didn’t want to hurt her more than he didn’t want to be hurt again.
“I’m not sure what we have here, Charlie. I don’t know if I can offer you what you deserve.” He had to be honest before he invited her into his home.
She pursed her lips, stared at him in that direct, assessing way she had. “Is that your way of telling me you didn’t have a good time last night so you’re trying to let me down easily? Because I’m not fragile, Grayson. I don’t need you to tiptoe around my feelings.”
His jaw dropped and he stepped closer, forgetting that he was still sweaty from his run.
This time, his lungs tightened because of the woman standing in front of him.
She, literally, stole his breath. And he’d give it gladly.
The thought should have freaked him out but he was too focused on making sure she knew he wanted her.
Reaching out, he cradled her cheek in his palm, his heart squeezing when she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. “Look at me, Charlie.”
Her eyelids fluttered open and the trust and vulnerability in them were enough to bring him to his knees.
“I can’t get you out of my head. Last night was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time.
I’m not letting you down easily, but I do worry I’ll let you down because I don’t know what you want.
Other than you, I don’t even know what I want.
I like you more than I thought I could or would from the second I saw you at the hotel, politely telling the front-desk clerk to go fuck himself. ”
Her mouth opened, a small laugh escaping. “I did not say that.”
He moved in closer, putting an arm around her waist. “No. That was the best part. You didn’t say it but you definitely meant it. Dating hasn’t been on my radar in a long time and I’ve been fine with that. Until you.”
Charlie didn’t seem to mind that he was fresh off his run because she put her arms around his neck, went up on her tiptoes, bringing their mouths within touching distance.
“I didn’t come here to date or fall for anyone and now I’m doing one while worrying about the other.
I like you back, Grayson. I’ve spent my life worrying about everyone else’s feelings, shoving mine into a tiny little box that I piled a bunch of other things on top of.
I’m not asking you for anything because I don’t have much to give.
You deserve a woman who can open up to you completely.
And right now, I don’t have that in me. But I’ll give you as much of myself as I can, if that’s enough. ”
Even though he couldn’t have scripted it better, a little piece of him wanted more. Neither of them was in a position to ask for it or want it, but that didn’t stop the little voice in his head telling him he knew he could fall for this woman.
“What do you want, Charlie?”
“You. I want to spend time with you, Grayson. While I’m here, I want to laugh and feel free and have adventures. With you.”
He swung her around, making her laugh. “Do these adventures include kissing?”
She smiled as he lifted her one stair at a time, her feet dangling, her arms clutching him. “To start. For now. If that’s enough for you.”
“You’re more than enough for me, Charlie.
Exactly as you are. You might not be able to open up completely and I won’t push you on that, but I see you and I like what I see.
You’re kind and sweet with a fierce protectiveness toward the people you care about.
You’re funny and smarter than anyone I know.
If this is only part of you, I don’t know if I could handle how amazing all of you would be. ”
Her lips brushed his. “Then have your shower. You promised me a movie and spaghetti. That just might top last night.”
HE TOOK THE FASTEST SHOWER of his life, doing his best not to think of the gorgeous, sweet woman waiting for him on his couch.
Pulling on a light gray Get Lost Lodge crewneck and a pair of joggers, he ran a towel over his hair a couple times—he might need Anderson to give him a cut before the wedding—and went out to meet her.
She wasn’t on the couch. Instead, she was staring at family photos on the shelves.
Jillian had put a bunch of them there when she and Ollie lived in this space that first summer, but since then, all of them had added more.
Charlie’s hair was tucked into a low bun at the nape of her neck so when she looked over her shoulder at him, he got an unimpeded view of her sharp jawline, her adorably rounded chin, her beautiful face in profile. She was stunning.
“I love how many photos you have displayed. You even have Uncle Bernie,” she said as he came closer.
Grayson slipped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek.
Her body sank back into his and he realized that he missed these little things: the freedom to touch and hug and cuddle.
Sleeping beside a woman, the scent of her bodywash on his pillow or, even better, on him.
He hadn’t thought about all the couple-ish pieces of a relationship he’d truly loved. And lost.
“Jilly and Ollie stayed here when I first took over the lodge. I still had an apartment on Smile. But I let it go a while ago because it’s easier for me to be here. In the last few years, we’ve all taken turns adding more photos. Your uncle is a big part of this place.”
Charlie turned in his arms and, in the sweetest gesture, nuzzled into his neck with a happy sigh.
He breathed her in, knowing the fall was inevitable.
He wasn’t Superman. Maybe it wasn’t so much about not falling but more about preparing for the end.
She was leaving. Which meant enjoying the moment.
She pulled back, looking up at him. “He really loves you guys. I reached out a couple of years ago and then again a month ago. Getting to know him has made me realize how selfish it was to dangle family in front of him and then back off, only to come to him when I needed somewhere to be.”