Chapter Twenty-Four
Twenty-Four
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN his life, Grayson understood what it was like to be Ollie.
The kid had always been interested in anything, energetic to the extreme, and often unable to contain her enthusiasm.
That’s how he felt. Like a kid, too excited to calm himself down or take a breath.
What he was about to share with Charlie was something he hadn’t told anyone about. Not even his siblings or Levi.
They cut through the woods, made their way around an old crumbling wooden fence, and then trailed a bit farther down, finally coming to the overgrown open parcel of land that sat abutting the water.
The land technically belonged to the city.
It’d been part of the park development years earlier but was left untouched when another park was built over on Tourist Lane.
Because it was through the trees, down a path, and not in anyone’s general view, no one kept it up, so there were a ton of weeds, tall grass, and who knew what else.
Grayson loved it here. It was like a secret hideaway that belonged to him. He stopped and just stood with Charlie beside him, staring out at the water.
“Wait,” she said, taking a step forward. “Is that the lodge?” She turned to him, excitement adding an extra layer of beauty to her face.
He nodded. “One day, I’d like to build a forever home on this land. I want to walk out on my second-story deck and stare at the back of the lodge and know I’m exactly where I belong.”
“Grayson, this is amazing. I love this. How much is the land? Is it for sale? Do you know the cost of building?” She held up her hands. “Sorry. The idea is just so exciting.”
He gestured to a cement blockade that came up to their knees. “Have a seat. I’ll open the waters.”
They drank some water and shared the bag of chips they’d bought, along with some pepperoni and cheese sticks.
He told her about the house he envisioned with a long dock that would make him feel like he could walk to work even though he’d never be able to extend it all the way to the island.
And she listened. As Grayson pictured what he wanted as clearly as if he had blueprints and plans in front of him, he realized he’d be lonely in a rambling home alone.
At the lodge, there were always guests and his family.
On Smile, he never went far without running into someone he knew.
Why the hell did he need a house with four bedrooms and a library/media room?
A hollowness pressed against his diaphragm.
Until Charlie, he’d thought being alone was ideal. Safe. But now, it sounded lonely.
“What’s your future look like, Charlie?”
She stared out at the water with him, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’m trying not to think too far ahead. I need to go to the mainland for a night next week. I’m meeting up with one of my colleagues to review a few things and I have a lead on an apartment close to campus.”
He leaned away so she’d look up at him. “You’re moving over there?” The idea of her being even that far away felt like a splinter he couldn’t remove.
“I’m not sure. I don’t want to overstay with Bernie, and I don’t know if it would be more feasible.
They aren’t done with registration yet, so I don’t have my full session load.
Once I know how many classes I’ll be teaching and how many days, I’ll have a better idea of whether or not it’s worth it to commute. ”
“I think Bernie likes having you there. But I’d be happy to go over with you next week,” Gray said, hoping more than he should that she’d take him up on it.
“Hmm. We could have a sleepover somewhere that no one could walk in on,” she said with a laugh.
She’d taken it extremely well this morning when Ollie found them.
“Leave it to me,” he said, wanting to do something special for her.
“What would it take for you to buy this land?” She looked back out at the water.
“I’d need to talk to the town council. See if it’s still earmarked for anything or if they’ve just decided to let it be.
But I have a long way to go before I do something like that.
” Unless, of course, he signed a deal to do a quick reality program that would give him an influx of cash.
He wanted to tell Charlie about it, but he didn’t even want to entertain the idea.
He didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be on display, and he didn’t want his family to give up their privacy.
This was their real life, and some challenges were hard enough to face without giving strangers a front-row seat.
“You let Bernie invest. Could you have someone else do the same?”
“He invested in a business. This is just a personal pipe dream. I like the land, but really, it’s likely not something that could happen.”
She stared at him a moment. “You’re not usually pessimistic.”
He pursed his lips, thought about that. He wasn’t, and he didn’t mean to be.
But sitting here with a woman he hadn’t imagined becoming enamored with, knowing that whatever future lay ahead it included saying goodbye to her, it didn’t feel the same.
She’d shown him that his heart wasn’t damaged beyond repair, and that was a gift he’d never be able to thank her for.
“We’re turning a profit at the lodge. It’s growing and we’ve got steady bookings all the way through next summer. Building a house is money, time, and energy that shouldn’t be wasted at this point. Especially not for me to have a huge house all to myself.”
“You could talk to the town, see if it’s even a possibility. You don’t have to build right away.” She turned and bent her knee so she could scoot closer.
“I give everything I have to the lodge right now. I’m happy with things the way they are.
I just like to sit here and dream sometimes.
” But would that dream change now that he’d had Charlie in his life?
Would everything feel a bit less without her?
His pulse sped up. This was why he didn’t date, didn’t entertain it.
Because he wasn’t built for halfway with anything.
Charlie stared at him, so he held her gaze, wondering what she was thinking.
She inhaled, took his hand when she exhaled. “When you think of that house, of that someday life, do you have a family? Kids? A wife?”
Just over a week ago, his answer would have been an immediate no.
How could things change so quickly? He needed to rein in his emotions, keep a lid on the growing feelings.
This had an end date. He thought about Ollie and the baby on the way, about how Jillian had found happiness again with Levi and how Beckett had Presley.
Before Charlie, he was sure he couldn’t and wouldn’t fall again.
Now, it felt like he’d taken all of his certainties and tossed them up in the air, watching them scatter around his feet.
“You don’t have to answer,” she whispered.
“If you’d asked me a couple of weeks ago, it would have been a hard-and-fast no,” he said slowly and honestly.
She leaned in. “And now?”
Gray reached out, cupped her jaw, and stroked his thumb over her skin.
He pressed a kiss to her cheek, trailed his way to her lips.
When he reached them, he dove all the way in headfirst, pulling her against him and kissing her with energy from all of the mixed emotions swirling around inside of him like a tornado.
When he pulled back, they were both breathing hard.
“Now, I don’t know. There are no guarantees, I guess.
No real for sures. People change their minds.
I could change mine.” It was that fact that truly terrified him.
Because it meant that he could try again.
He could go all in. And he could, just as easily, be cast aside if the next woman he loved changed her mind like the last.
Charlie wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.
Maybe Charlie was his reset, his chance to go back to start and not have it all figured out.
She came for her own reasons but maybe part of that reason was for him to realize there could be something between till death do us part and completely alone.
This could all be a really bad idea. But as Charlie found his mouth again and kissed him slowly and softly in one of his favorite places with the trees shading them from the sun, and the water and his home in the distance, it was hard to remember why.