Chapter Forty
Forty
GRAYSON FELT LIKE HIS EMOTIONS were hanging by a tattered piece of thread.
He’d started to text Charlie several times but stopped.
What would he say? Instead, he’d texted Anderson, let them know Charlie was on her way and asked that they watch out for her.
Anderson had texted back an hour later, saying she was staying in the apartment above the General Store.
He tried to talk himself out of it but ended up watching the video.
Logically, he knew it was Charlie, but it wasn’t the woman he’d fallen for over these last few weeks.
Presley and Jillian said that there’d been a significant amount of editing done but the thing had over two million views.
He’d had to turn away because it tore his stomach to shreds to see the sadness on her beautiful face.
She’d gone from flashing that gorgeous smile, hugging her mother, to yelling about family and what it meant.
Parts had been woven together so, just like with his actual life, he had no idea what was real.
“Dude. We can bail on tonight,” Beckett said, walking back from the boat that they were loading up.
Grayson startled. “What? No. It’s your bachelor party. We’re not bailing on anything.”
“Have you heard from her?”
He shook his head. “No. It’s only been a day, but at least I know she hasn’t left.” He didn’t know what to do with that information but it mattered.
Beckett gave a grim smile. “Yeah. That’s what I hear. And, uh, she’s not alone.”
“What?” Gray’s shoulders went tight, his breath still.
Beckett smiled. “Apparently her mom arrived today.”
His body almost collapsed in relief. Grayson took a couple steps forward, put his hands on his hips. “How do you know this?”
Then he shook his head again and said in unison with Beckett, “Anderson.”
“We ready to go?” Levi asked, joining them on the dock, Bernie right behind him.
The day had flown by but also felt like it took forever, which Gray didn’t understand at all.
He also didn’t understand how he could miss a person he saw yesterday.
But whatever she’d withheld, whatever she should have or could have told him, just didn’t seem to matter in light of how awful it must have been for her to have that video go viral.
“Are you still good if I join in?” Bernie asked Beckett but looked at Grayson.
“Of course we are,” Grayson said immediately. “You’re family.”
Beckett grinned. “Yeah, he is. And once this guy sorts his shit out, you’ll really be family because, somehow, he’ll convince Charlie he’s good enough to stick around for.”
Levi groaned. “Troublemaker.”
Grayson scowled, but Bernie just looked down, like he was hiding a grin.
They all loaded onto the boat. The plan had been to hang out at Brothers’, but with it still closed, they weren’t entirely sure what they were getting into.
He’d texted both Liam and Leo and asked if they were still cool to host tonight and they both said yes, but Anderson told Gray that they were still closed for business.
Funny, he thought, that Anderson could update him about that but didn’t mention Charlie’s mom to him.
Thoughts for another time. If she had her mother visiting, they had some time. She was coming to the wedding. He didn’t have to figure it all out right now. And it wouldn’t be fair to be so distracted while his brother was getting married.
Tonight, and Saturday, were about Beckett and Presley. Grayson’s mixed-up feelings and dozens of questions could wait.
Grayson took the wheel and tried to focus on the sound of the boat bumping over the water, the wind in his hair, and the guys laughing behind him.
He was a fool to believe he could have controlled his feelings.
His heart and mind had done what he’d explicitly told them not to.
With no permission or warning. He’d been single for several years now and plenty of Smile women had hinted at, or outright asked for, a date.
Not one part of him felt the desire to say yes.
Until Charlie. Now, he felt like she was part of him, part of the place he loved.
He pulled up to Smile’s dock and parked, trying to shake off his melancholy and the urge to find Charlie immediately.
“You’re sure it’s okay that we’re going to Bros’?” Beckett asked when they were all on the dock.
Gray nodded. It was good to feel sure of something. “I checked. Both of them said yes. I even reminded them we have about twenty other guys joining us.”
They walked in pairs, Beckett and Levi following behind Bernie and Grayson.
“You hear Charlie stayed at Maureen’s place over their store?” he asked.
“I spoke with her last night once she was settled.” Bernie’s tone gave nothing away.
“She okay?”
Bernie turned his head, stroked the little bit of beard that he had. “In what regard?”
“Bernie.”
“She’s a proud woman. She cares a great deal about all of us.
She hates knowing you likely looked up the video.
In her defense, it was edited, intended to make her look bad, and she’s paid a hell of a penance for something that wasn’t her fault.
Not entirely. I think, between family, you ought to be able to express your feelings, good, bad, or otherwise, and know it’s a safe place. ”
Gray thought about all the times he and his siblings, or he and his parents, or his siblings and his parents argued or disagreed.
He couldn’t imagine if something he’d said or done in a moment of emotion had been recorded.
His response to Lana’s decree for a divorce?
Jillian telling him what an asshole her ex-husband was?
If anyone had captured those moments before he was able to calm himself and think more rationally, it would have sickened him.
Not because he did anything terribly wrong, but because capturing someone’s response to one of their weakest moments was a new level of cruelty.
The urgency he’d felt a few moments ago, to see Charlie, to hold her, returned with an alarming force.
“It might take people different amounts of time to admit they love each other,” Bernie said quietly.
“But I think we know, in our hearts, early on, if we can or will love a person.” He stopped a moment, put a hand on Gray’s arm.
“If you don’t or you can’t follow through with everything it means to tell a person you love them, then I’m asking you to let her go.
She means something to me. Not just a connection I thought I’d lost long ago but now, as the woman she is. She’s special, Grayson.”
“I’m not an idiot, Bernie.” Though he had let her go. “Not completely, anyway. I know how special she is. I feel like my heart and my lungs are tied together with shoestrings. I can’t breathe. I need to be able to breathe so I can figure this out. And right now, Beckett is the focus.”
Bernie stared at Gray a second longer until Beckett and Levi caught up, and then they resumed walking, Gray’s thoughts moving a hell of a lot faster than his feet.
When they arrived at Brothers’, the CLOSED sign was still in the left window.
That wasn’t overly surprising today. Grayson had secured it as a private venue months ago, when he and Beckett had been drinking on Liam’s side one night.
The brothers hadn’t spoken directly to each other, but it’d been agreed that both sides would close to the public so Gray could host Beckett’s party and that their friends, some of whom they’d had for most of their lives, could toast him and wish him well.
“Should we knock?” Levi asked.
The party didn’t officially start until seven. People wouldn’t be there for another half hour yet. Liam had told Grayson he’d take care of everything. Leo had assured him of the same thing. But that was before the intervention. No one knew what they were walking into.
Before they could make a decision, both double doors opened in unison, forcing the four of them to take swift steps back.
Liam and Leo each held a door open. They wore similar T-shirts, bearing their bar’s logo, and jeans.
Side by side, which was a sight none of them had seen in a long time, the similarities between them were almost jarring.
Except Leo’s hair was buzzed shorter and he wore boots that put him an inch above Liam in his Converse.
“You all coming in or you going to stand around and stare at us like you’re seeing double?” Liam asked.
The brothers opened the doors farther and all four of them took a step in. Grayson’s smile was immediate. Holy shit. The doors shut behind them, but he didn’t turn around. He was too busy staring at the glorious sight in front of him.
Beckett walked forward because apparently, unlike Gray, shock hadn’t frozen his feet.
“The wall is gone,” Beckett said, turning around to face the brothers.
Grayson, Levi, and Bernie turned as well. Liam and Leo stood apart but both of them had their arms crossed over their chests, similar expressions on their faces.
“Is this just for tonight or for good?” Levi asked.
Liam and Leo shared a glance, but it was Leo who spoke. “We’ll see how it goes. We’re going to make a few changes. We’ll be closed another week or so and then we’ll reopen. As one place.”
“Wow,” Grayson said, the wind sucked out of his lungs. Charlie hadn’t just imprinted herself on his heart, she’d done it to the whole damn town. Yeah, Bernie. I know she’s special.
Liam looked at them all. “The way you did it, blindsiding us? That wasn’t cool. But we understand why. We’re working on things. This shit takes time.”
Leo arched a brow. “But we’ve had a lot of it, so maybe a nudge wasn’t so bad.”
“No one thought it was cool to do that,” Bernie said, stepping toward the twins.
“It was a hard decision and came with a lot of risk. But everyone was hurting, watching you two pretend the other didn’t exist. It wasn’t cool to have to force your hand just like it wasn’t cool of you two to make people feel like they had to take sides for all of these years.
Family is rarely easy, boys. You couldn’t find your way back to each other and you still had the chance to do so.
I never got that chance with my brother.
I regret it every single day. Whatever is still between you, is it worth feeling that regret if something happens to one of you with no warning?
Have you said everything you need to say to each other so if today is your last day on this earth, you won’t spend the rest of your life wishing you had five more minutes with the other person? ”
The silence that followed was rife with emotion, and Beckett put a hand on Gray’s shoulder. Gray did the same to Levi. They were family. It wouldn’t always be easy, but they were in this together. Whatever this happened to be at the moment.
“We’re working on things, Bernie. We’re trying to move forward without repeating the past,” Leo said softly, looking over at Liam. “Mistakes were made but if you learn from them, then maybe it’s okay that they happen.”
Liam stared at his brother, his jaw twitching, like he was clenching his teeth. Then he clapped his hands, faced forward, and said, “Let’s get the pre-party started with some shots.”
Gray couldn’t shake Bernie’s words even as the night wore on and he forced himself to stay present for his brother.
Had he said everything he wanted to say? If he never saw Charlie again, would he have regrets?
Even as his brain got foggier and his brother got drunkenly happier, Grayson knew the answer, without a doubt.
He couldn’t let Charlie walk out of his life. Not like this. And hopefully, not at all.