29. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
brENDEN
“Look, I know you sign my paychecks, but could you please take your sad, pathetic face out of my kitchen? You’re distracting me and scaring the new guys.”
It takes me a second to realize Addison is talking to me.
And another second to process what she just said.
I glance around to find her staring at me, while her new hires are standing at one of the prep tables, awkwardly not looking at me as they’re chopping or mixing or seasoning, or whatever it is they’re supposed to be doing.
Oh.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on this metal stool in the corner, but the coffee in my mug is cold.
This is what I’ve been like for the past week.
Sad and pathetic.
Missing Travis.
Not only missing what I thought we could have, but also missing the decade-long friendship that came first.
That might be what hurts the worst.
The fact that I can’t even talk to him, see him.
And in a town this small, avoiding someone is also pretty freaking difficult.
So maybe I’ve been spending more time at the inn than I need to.
I didn’t think anyone had noticed though.
“I’m just taking a break,” I tell Addison lamely.
“Sure you are.” Crossing the kitchen, she studies me critically, like she’s trying to find what’s wrong with me.
But all the wounds are internal.
“You want something to eat?” she asks finally.
“No,” I respond reflexively.
Then I realize that I’m actually hungry, so I amend that to, “Wait, yeah. Thanks.”
She gives me one more searching look before going to the large fridge and pulling out a few things.
She sets them down on the end of the table where the prep guys are working, then says to them, “Hey, why don’t you two go get some air.”
They both give her quizzical looks, and she scowls.
“Take a hint. Scram.”
I almost laugh as they drop their knives and make a hasty escape out the swinging door.
If I had it in me, I’d suggest being nicer to the employees, but whatever.
Addison carefully sweeps some stuff aside and begins whipping something together for me.
I don’t bother asking what it is.
“All right, what’s going on with you and Travis?” she asks, not looking up at me.
“Nothing,” I lie.
Or maybe it’s not a lie.
There is nothing going on with us.
Not anymore.
This time she does look at me, and her face makes it clear she doesn’t believe me.
“There must be something going on, because I’m pretty sure I’ve fed you every one of your meals this week.”
“Not every one,” I hedge.
She gives me a flat look.
“Pretty damn close. So tell me why you haven’t been eating at the diner, and why Travis hasn’t been showing up here to fix things without being asked, and why you’re moping around like there’s a storm cloud hanging over your head.”
Wow.
I’m surprised she’s even paid that much attention to me.
It almost sounds like she cares.
Does this make us officially friends?
The thought cheers me up, but only momentarily.
I gaze into my mug, wishing my coffee was still hot, but too lazy to get up and pour myself another one.
“It’s complicated.”
Snorting a laugh, Addison says, “Honey, your whole life seems complicated.”
“No, it’s not!” I argue.
But when I consider how things have been lately, I guess that’s fair.
“Fine. If you really want to know, the short version is that Travis and I had started... something. Something I thought meant the same thing to him as it did to me. But then he basically said it meant nothing to him.”
“Somehow I don’t believe that.” Walking over to me, she holds out a fancy looking sandwich.
“I’ve seen the way that man looks at you.”
My heart does a little flutter.
“How does he look at me?”
“Like you personally put the damn sunshine in his sky. It’s a bit nauseating.”
Well.
That makes my stomach flutter some more, but even if it were true, it doesn’t change the fact that he still doesn’t want his dad to know he’s queer.
Or the fact that he was so quick to cast me aside, throw me under the bus with Elise and Grant.
Luckily, I was able to work things out with them, but that was shitty.
Maybe he did feel something for me too.
But it wasn’t enough, was it?
I pick at the sandwich while I try to think of something to say.
I’m pretty sure whatever bread she used here is homemade, and it’s probably delicious.
But honestly, I could be eating cardboard for all I care.
I can’t enjoy anything.
I might have put the sun in Travis’s sky, but then he let it burn out.
Addison leaves me be, dropping the conversation as she gets back to work.
I can still feel her watching me though, so I make sure to take a few big bites of food so she can stop worrying about me.
Then my phone vibrates on the table, making me jump.
Which is dumb, because I get work calls on my personal line all the time.
I’m really off my game.
It’s not a work call though.
And when I see May’s name on the screen, I hurry to accept it.
She normally sticks with text messaging when I’m at work.
“Hello? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” she replies quickly.
“But Dad, it’s Grandpa. We’re on the green, and I need you to come.”
That immediately activates my panic mode.
I spring off my stool, sandwich forgotten as I rush to my office for my keys.
“What happened? Did you call 911?”
“No, yeah, it’s okay. Just come.”
Running outside, I tell her, “I’m coming!”
“Thank you,” she says.
And then she freaking hangs up on me.
Oh my god, why would she do that?
I still don’t know what’s going on, and I want to call her back, but I also just want to get to her as quickly as possible, so I focus on driving.
I debate if I should be heading straight to the hospital, but I’ll have to pass through the center of town to get to the highway anyway.
Fuck.
Things were finally good between me and her grandparents.
They said we were a family.
I don’t want to lose Grant now.
I’m scared.
I’m scared, and my mind is screaming at me to call Travis.
Because Travis will help.
He’s good in a crisis, and he’s good at calming me down.
He’ll make sure everything’s okay, I know he will.
So I call him as I drive.
I don’t care if it’s weird or pathetic.
I don’t have time to feel awkward about it.
This is an emergency.
Except.
He doesn’t pick up.
It rings and rings, and then it goes to his very brief, surly voicemail.
I hang up, tossing my phone aside.
It lands on the passenger seat, then slides to the floor.
I can’t believe he didn’t answer for me.
That fucking hurts.
But I push the pain down and keep driving.
I’m going way over the speed limit, but there’s only like three cops in this town.
When I get near the green, I park on the side of the road and hop out of the car, not caring that my bumper is sticking out too far.
As I run, my eyes are scanning the area for May and her grandparents.
Damn it, there are so many people out here.
Does nobody have anything better to do today?
I see Andrew.
He kind of stands out with all his tattoos and his gauged ears.
He’s with his friend Toby, but I don’t have time to wave to them.
“Dad!” May calls out, and I spot her right in front of the gazebo with Elise and Grant.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I ask as I reach them.
I visually scan Grant, but he seems perfectly fine.
“Nothing,” May says.
I turn to her, my eyes narrowing.
“ Nothing? What the hell?”
She bites her lip, looking sheepish, then says, “Well, actually, there is something wrong.”
“What is it?”
“You’ve been sad,” she states matter-of-factly.
And before I can argue, she holds up her hands.
“You’re allowed to be sad, but I’d rather see you happy. And I’m not the only one. I think everyone in town would rather see you happy, so...”
“So?” I prompt, my fear slowly morphing into annoyance.
Yes, I haven’t been doing a very good job at hiding how I’m feeling.
But does she really need to bring this up in public?
“So just stand here,” she says.
“What? Why?”
Grabbing me by the shoulders, she turns me so I’m facing away from the gazebo.
“Please, you’ll see. Stay there.”
As she walks backward a few steps, joining a handful of people standing off to the side of the pathway, I do what she instructs and stay where I am.
Only because I’m too confused to move.
I give Grant and Elise a questioning look, hoping they’ll explain what’s going on.
But they only smile and walk away to sit on one of the benches.
I’m really getting frustrated now.
Just last Saturday, I was standing out here when I got my heart broken, so believe me, I’d rather be anywhere else.
All of a sudden, loud music starts playing from somewhere.
It only takes a few seconds for me to recognize “This Is What Love Is.” My favorite Skyler James song off his newest album.
Then something weird happens.
It starts with May and the people she’s standing with.
They’re dancing to the music.
And that wouldn’t be entirely weird, except they’re all moving in sync with each other.
Like they choreographed it.
That’s when Andrew and Toby cross from the other side of the grass to join them.
Now a group of people are coming up the pathway toward me, all of them grinning as they move to the beat of the music.
And oh.
My.
God.
It’s a freaking flash mob.
Before I know it, I’m surrounded by people dancing as Skyler James sings the opening lines.
Spent too long waiting for the right time
Thinking we needed permission
For a love that’s just yours and mine
Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening.
Did May do this for me?
It’s impossible not to smile as I watch everyone.
There’s Roddy from the bar.
And Sal the mailman, whose dancing skills are unexpectedly good.
There’s a bunch of my employees from the inn who weren’t working this afternoon.
The sheriff, out of uniform.
All of May’s friends.
Cheryl and Mark, the owners of the art supply store.
A couple yoga instructors.
Colleen.
Angy, who owns the bakery.
And so many more people.
It looks like half the town is here.
For me.
Or maybe they’re only doing this because so many people in town love a spectacle.
But it feels like it’s for me.
The only way this could be better is if Colleen were holding a cinnamon roll.
Suddenly, the crowd breaks into two, each group moving past me now, still dancing.
As I turn around to keep watching them, I see something even more unbelievable than this flash mob.
Travis.
There he is, walking up the steps on the other side of the gazebo.
He’s holding a speaker in one hand and a microphone in the other.
And as I gaze up at him, he raises the microphone and sings, his voice ringing out over Skyler’s.
This is what love is
So baby, embrace it
This is what love is
We won’t let them take it away
Wow.
He’s a really bad singer.
And this is fucking amazing.
It doesn’t seem real.
It’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience.
Or maybe I crashed on the way here and hit my head, and none of this is actually happening at all.
But no.
If I were imagining it, Travis wouldn’t sound like a frog with laryngitis.
My heart is racing, and I’m smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.
Travis keeps singing to me as everyone else dances all around the gazebo.
I’m not paying attention to the dancers anymore though.
I can’t take my eyes off the man I fucking love.
Oh shit.
I love him.
I really do.
He looks so out of place up there, in the center of all this chaos.
But he’s smiling back at me as he sings, and kind of laughing at himself too.
And even though he’s wearing his typical flannel and jeans outfit, like I’ve seen him in a million times, I swear he’s never looked so fucking hot.
The dancers slow to a stop as the song ends.
Then without all the music and singing and dancing, the awkwardness quickly sets in.
Everyone’s staring at me now.
I mean, they were staring before, but they were the ones making fools of themselves, so I wasn’t embarrassed.
I’m not sure what’s supposed to happen now.
All those videos of flash mobs you see on social media cut off right when the song ends.
Travis is still standing in the middle of the gazebo, so I focus on him.
He smiles and gives me a tiny shrug.
Like he didn’t just blow my mind.
Then he raises the microphone again and speaks into it, his eyes locked on me.
“Brenden, I know I messed up. So this is me saying I’m sorry. And I miss you. And I hope I can make things right.”
Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod.
“I have a lot more I’d like to say,” he goes on, while I struggle with remembering how to breathe.
“Though I hope you’ll come up here and talk to me without this microphone, because I feel ridiculous. But if you want me to keep going for everyone to hear, I will.”
He raises his eyebrows in question, holding out a hand toward me.
I want to go to him, but my feet won’t work.
I might be a little bit in shock from everything that just happened.
Then May is behind me, shoving me.
I turn my head to give her a dirty look as I stumble forward.
But once my feet are moving, it’s like there’s nowhere else they can go except right to Travis.
Right where I belong.
My heart is beating wildly in my chest as I make my way up the gazebo steps.
Is this real life?
Travis sets down the speaker and microphone and takes my hand.
Now we’re standing up here together, with half the town watching us.
Some people start murmuring quietly, but I can’t make out what anyone’s saying.
And I don’t care.
In this moment, no one exists to me but this incredible man.
This man who hates participating in crazy town things, yet organized the most ridiculous, crazy town thing for me as an apology.
I would have taken a simple, I’m sorry , but this was way better.
This showed me how much he cares about me.
I think he’s always shown me that, actually, in his small, everyday gestures.
But damn.
Today he showed everyone .
He lifts our joined hands and presses them to my chest.
“So I know you weren’t entirely serious when you said you wanted a flash mob, but I hope you liked it.”
“Are you kidding?” I can’t stop grinning.
“This was awesome! I loved it!”
For a second, he simply gazes at me with a fond expression that makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.
Like a chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven.
A homemade chocolate chip cookie.
Then he squeezes my hand tightly and says, “I love you .”
I very quickly stop thinking about cookies.
“You... you do?”
“Were you not listening to the song?”
Unable to resist a chance to tease him, I say, “I mean, I was kind of distracted by your terrible voice.”
He frowns in classic Grumptopus style, and I laugh, reaching out to grip his shirt and tug him in even closer to me, our hands still clasped between us.
“I’m just kidding! Well, kind of. You really won’t be winning any Grammys, but it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard. That’s one of my favorite Skyler James songs. How did you know?”
His free hand comes around to my waist.
“May picked it out. And helped recruit people and organize everything.”
Of course.
God, I love my fucking daughter.
I totally forgive her for scaring the crap out of me with that bogus phone call.
He lets go of my hand, and I almost whine at the loss, but then he reaches up to cradle my face.
“I really am sorry. I was an idiot. But I need you to know that I want to be with you. You make my life better. You always have. And if you feel the same about me, then I promise I’ll do everything I can to keep that gorgeous smile on your face every day. I’ll always be there for you, for whatever you need. And May too, obviously. I love you.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I love him too.
Because boy, I fucking do.
But then I remember.
“What about your dad?” I ask cautiously, not wanting to ruin this but needing to know how it’s going to work.
Then it hits me that this wonderful grand gesture he just did for me was extremely public, and there’s absolutely no way his dad won’t find out about it.
I glance around us, panicking, but he gently takes me by the chin and guides my eyes back to his.
“He was out there somewhere,” he says.
“Wait, your dad was dancing ?” I ask incredulously.
“I didn’t see him.”
He snorts.
“Oh hell, no. He was just watching. And I already came out to him two days ago.”
I gasp.
“You did? For me?”
“Well, yeah. But it was also something I needed to do for me.” He chuckles.
“Turns out, he already knew. Apparently, I was the clueless one, not him.”
I’m trying to wrap my brain around what he’s saying, but at this point, I’m so overwhelmed.
Did the town really just do a flash mob?
Did Travis really sing like a frog?
He came out to his dad after spending half his life hiding who he was?
Or thinking he was hiding it, I guess.
Did Travis Reed actually tell me he loves me?
Oh, shit.
I didn’t say it back.
“I love you!” I blurt out frantically.
Probably too loudly.
Because I don’t want him to take it back.
“Thank god,” he says, much quieter.
And then he kisses me.
It’s not brief, not chaste.
He kisses me like he’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him.
Like maybe he wants to meld us into one person.
He kisses me like half the town isn’t watching us, but they definitely are.
The clapping and cheering that starts up makes that abundantly clear.
And still, he keeps kissing me.
I kiss him back with everything I have.
When we finally break for air, we’re both smiling like fools.
He goes in for one more quick kiss, then says, “So what do we do now, and how do we make these people go away?”
As if on cue, my stomach lets out a loud, long rumble, and we both laugh.
“Can you make me a burger?” I ask, using my sweetest voice.
The one I know he can’t say no to.
He smiles at me, looking honestly happier than I’ve ever seen him.
And he says, “Baby, anything you want, it’s yours.”
I grin, taking his hand and leading him down from the gazebo.
Then together, we walk away from the crowd, ignoring everything our friends and neighbors are calling out to us.
When I gesture for my family, May, Elise, and Grant follow us across the street and over to the diner.
Travis pulls out a chair for me at an empty table, and I sit.
But I can’t take my eyes off him as he goes behind the counter to pour a cup of coffee.
Setting it down in front of me, he presses a kiss to the top of my head.
And damn, I could get used to this.
As he turns to walk away again, I reach out and grab his ass.
Because I can do that now.
Even if he’d probably still prefer I don’t do it in public.
He jumps and slaps at my hand, but he’s laughing.
It’s a beautiful sound.
Taking a sip of coffee, I smile in contentment.
Perfect, like always.
The truth is though, I don’t need Travis to make me coffee or burgers or pancakes, as much as I crave those things.
Even if he was as terrible of a cook as I am, I’d still want him.
I’ll wait until we’re alone to tell him that when he gave me his heart, he gave me the only thing I really need from him.
The rest is just a bonus.