11. Strangelove – Brad
My foot taps impatiently as we wait for this Dakota guy to show up. Charlie”s going on and on trying to guess what cool accessories he might have. I”m only catching some of it though. I’m too distracted replaying Tess and me spilling our guts last night on the phone.
Did we cross lines getting that real about shit we don”t normally tell people? Will she backpedal into polite small talk today keeping it strictly business now?
Or maybe she’ll dodge personal shit altogether after going deep about family troubles and all. Keep any talk clipped to new bass player logistics and avoiding our chemistry altogether.
My stomach twists with nerves. I scrub a hand over my face, confusion mounting when Charlie asks, “You worried Dakota might suck too, huh Dad?”
“Hmm...? Oh, yeah...” I ruffle her hair, my mind spinning miles away. Man, I wish filterless kid drama was the biggest complication I had to deal with today. “Though, if he does, don’t say it like that.”
I rake my fingers through my hair, irritation building because for some reason it matters if Tess acts distant after we spilled our souls. Why do I care if she throws walls up protecting herself after our talk last night? Don’t I do the same damn thing? Have I?
I start bouncing my knee, anxiety spiking as I hear the door creak open, and her heels click towards us. But my breath catches seeing her features tighten subtly noticing my fidgeting. Her smile seems to dim behind the polite professionalism she must have built back up overnight.
I wish I could do that.
Before disappointment sinks in, she ducks her head almost shyly. ”Hey...about last night, hope I didn”t overshare too much. Just easy to talk to you I guess.”
Relief floods me as her words poke holes in my worries. My lips quirk up teasingly. ”Please, tell me more about how you apparently took down Congress in high school debate club. That”s the story I”m waiting on.”
Tess”s eyes light up, shoulders relaxing as she laughs. ”Well, if Dakota”s audition goes sideways today, I”m clearly the secret weapon here. Just let me at him.”
Our banter dissolves any lingering awkwardness. Maybe navigating the blurred lines feels less complicated in the light of day after all. Without dissecting it too much, we seem to have picked up where we left off. That brief intimate glimpse bound us in a new understanding of each other.
It”s an intimacy I’ve never let myself feel before with anyone I’ve been with. Everything before now has been ‘what you see is what you get.’ There’s never been a question as to the why of any of it. Or if there was, I never wanted to share that part of me.
With Tess, it’s different. One fucking phone call, and my life is suddenly upside down and inside out.
The door suddenly swings open again, grabbing everyone”s attention. Dakota strides in eagerly with a guitar case in one hand, and my blushing daughter”s enthusiastic hand in the other. Guess she snagged first dibs on access behind that mystery beanie waiting outside. Tess and I share surprised, hopeful glances at this unexpected start.
Charlie drags Dakota over, grinning ear to ear. ”His beanie has skull flowers, isn”t that so cool?”
Dakota ducks his head almost bashfully as we take him in. I can”t deny his talent flashing through the video we saw held intrigue, and now seeing his humble but reserved confidence in person, I”m actually hopeful.
”Well, the lady has spoken. You’re clearly crushing the audition already,” I joke, breaking the ice. Dakota laughs, a musicality in it echoing throughout the space. As if buoyed by the positivity, he makes eye contact with each of us.
”I know I”m probably not what you had in mind. But thanks for taking a chance...” He trails off, waiting for our cues.
I glance at Tess, reading the silent encouragement there to drop any remaining skepticism. She”s right. Hidden gems show up in unexpected packages sometimes.
”Hey man, only thing that matters to us is if you can bring the fire. The video glimpses were solid.” I extend my hand, an offer to wipe slates clean and feel him out with impartial ears. “I’m Brad. Your biggest fan’s dad.”
Dakota”s grin spreads slowly as he shakes my hand. He turns to lift his guitar respectfully. ”Well, I”m definitely eager to jam together. I’m probably Chaos Fuel’s biggest fan, so this is huge.”
Everyone is introduced, and we start in on our audition songs. I cue the opening chords to a newer song. Dakota comes in tentatively at first, but then finds the bass groove. Hope flickers as we build on it with layers of guitar and drums.
Just as the musical alchemy starts to catch, Dakota flubs on a tempo change. Notes tumble disjointedly until he grimaces and cuts out.
I motion reassurance when he shoots an embarrassed look my way. ”No problem, dude. Song”s still fresh for all of us. Top again?” Dakota nods, exhaling unsteadily before Emmett counts us back in. Desperation edges into my encouragement despite my best efforts. ”Let”s keep the energy light, yeah? No pressure.”
I flash a strained, rallying smile Dakota”s way, even as doubt plagues my thoughts.
Come on...ignite that spark we glimpsed already. Find the pocket again, man.
Feeling the guys” eyes boring impatient judgment into Dakota”s back beside me grates on my last nerve. Should I send them off, give Dakota air to breathe? Or will that shake his confidence even more somehow?
My temples throb as I strain to keep my game face steady. But it”s one thing soothing Charlie”s artistic growing pains. Faking unwavering faith as I watch the wheels falling off something everything”s riding on now is totally different. Raw panic is dangerously close to erupting.
I just gotta buy some time for Dakota to shake off the jitters and showcase himself. If that magic still fucking exists to find... Before the guys revolt or the label pulls the plug on this whole experiment.
We regain momentum, but Dakota seems distracted now, overthinking. His tentative playing gets eclipsed behind our swell. I feel the tires spinning out again before it happens.
He hesitates on a bass fill then overcompensates missing the drop back in completely. Dakota yelps as his shoe catches on an unplugged cable and he nearly face-plants. Whatever band chemistry was building visibly fractures.
Irritation bubbles inside at the unraveling disaster now happening that I feared was coming. Dakota shrinks under our collective impatience. But Charlie just calls out happily, ”That was a cool dance move!”
Charlie”s innocent praise lightens the mood slightly after Dakota”s stumbling mishaps. But underlying doubt gnaws at me whether we can resolve his issues in time for tour, let alone live shows. Still, I force a gentler tone addressing him.
”Hey man, first days jamming are always awkward, you know? Why don”t we try an older one next to get our bearings?” I nod subtly toward Stefan and Emmett too, signaling them to tone down the intensity that’s obviously intimidating Dakota further.
I count us smoothly off into an old favorite, relieved when Dakota grasps the familiar progression. His shoulders loosen up incrementally, though he avoids eye contact still. As the final chords ring out, I manage an encouraging smile his way.
”See, you got this. We”ll take it slow...” My confidence wanes watching Dakota”s embarrassed flush not fade though. The other guys hover impatiently just out of his sight line.
Tess reads the scenario unraveling and jumps in. ”You know, I”d love to grab some behind-the-scenes photos documenting this pivotal day.” She gestures vaguely. ”Why don”t you three take Dakota through some gear while I set up lighting?”
The guys exchange skeptical looks but follow her lead and drift off. I mouth grateful thanks Tess”s way. She gives a subtle thumbs up before tactfully busying herself scoping out creative shots to explain away giving Dakota some space. Hopefully once nerves settle, his abilities shine through.
But my gut twists seeing how badly this first impression is going off the rails. I pray inwardly that this instinct to take a chance here doesn”t backfire on us all.
I desperately try to tune out the doubtful looks that get exchanged as we give Dakota some space. If we all seem on edge too, it”ll only feed his unraveling confidence more.
After reviewing gear and lighting angles just to kill time, we circle back. I grab the mic again, determined to keep spirits hopeful.
”Alright Dakota, no second guesses now. What do you say we just jam loose and see what flows? No rules. No wrong notes. Just make some fucking noise together.”
I see a flicker reignite behind his averted eyes at the freedom I just offered. As Stefan lays down a mood-setting rhythmic riff, Dakota closes his eyes. His head bobs along slowly finding the pocket again.
He starts layering in subtle bass notes accenting Stefan’s. Building off each other, no plan in mind, creative sparks tentatively realign. Emmett taps a gentle beat and Stefan weaves textured guitar riffs through it.
We meander along improvisationally before Dakota suddenly infuses a slick bass slide leading toward a key change. Our sound shifts following his unexpected modulation. Bursts of rhythmic runs and riffs tumble out, answering each other.
The studio fills with our unified sound gelling fully at last. Dakota no longer shrinks but flows freely as part of us. No more thought, just instinctive reaction to rhythms and notes circling endlessly.
It’s a fucking miracle.
I meet Tess”s eyes glowing with relief as she snaps photos, capturing the moment. In this unguarded creative space, Dakota transformed. I guess raw talent and collaborative magic can”t stay buried for long after all.
We’ve found our guy.
Over burgers later, it”s just us band guys and Tess debriefing Dakota”s audition.
”Kid seemed to gel with your vibe decently after that shaky start, yeah?” Ian asks, stealing a fry off my plate. ”Didn”t try outplaying anybody, just blended right in.”
”Yeah, he rode the improv waves pretty smoothly once we gave him room,” I agree. ”Talent”s there behind the shaggy hair for sure.”
Tess smiles supportively. ”You”re right. The musicality and humility shone through. Fans will definitely take to that.”
Emmett gestures enthusiastically, mouth full. ”So, we dig Dingdong right?” Crumbs spray as he fumbles Dakota”s name.
We share amused glances at the mangled moniker. Stefan lifts his soda, expression assessing. ”He”s young but held his own against our sound well enough. Eventually.”
”Young and eager balances out old and cynical sometimes,” Ian reasons, tone thoughtful as we each process our own perspectives.
I meet Tess”s eyes, sensing she reads my wavelength here. The technical skills and collaborative style that Dakota brought to the table click effortlessly with how we create. There’s no sense chasing hypothetical perfection and risking the organic band magic that seems to be brewing here. Catching improbable lightning in a bottle like this feels destined somehow.
Strange how people step into your path right when you need them most.
That might be happening a lot lately.
”So, I found a bass player!” Charlie sing-songs as she skips over, her face beaming. ”You said I could help, and I found the bestest one. His name is Dee-koda.”
I stifle a laugh at her garbled pronunciation. ”You sure did good, baby girl. We all think Dakota might just be the musical brother we”ve been missing.”
”Told you his flower beanie was epic, and he had talent,” Charlie gloats playfully. Then curiosity sparks. ”Is Dakota our family now then, if he”s your brother?”
The innocent connection catches me off guard. I meet Tess”s surprised yet touched eyes again across the table at Charlie”s leap, embracing Dakota so immediately.
Something unspoken passes between us as our eyes catch, acknowledging that family comes in unexpected forms. I know welcoming in people fate-scarred and bent like us feels right.
I hold Tess”s gaze a beat too long, that startling soul connection sparking to life once more. Her lips part slightly, hesitation and longing warring in her expression. Does she feel the same terrifying thrill I do? That we might be misfit pieces of the same ragged puzzle somehow?
Stefan”s soda can pops loudly next to me, snapping the spell. I force my attention reluctantly back to Charlie still chattering brightly beside me ”...and we can have family band night with pizza parties now, too.”
Tess ducks her head with a shy smile as I smooth Charlie”s hair. ”Yeah, I”m sure Dakota will be happy being part of our creative family.”
I meet Tess”s eyes fleetingly once more, electricity still crackling unfinished between us despite the broken intimacy. An unspoken understanding lingers between us. Possibilities and boundaries are blurring. Where this all leads remains frighteningly uncertain, but I like this feeling.
“Right,” Ian says, rolling into motion. “If we’re all in agreement then? I’ll get Eliza on the line to get this finalized.”
Glancing at Emmett and Stefan to confirm, we all nod at each other. The weight that’s been on our shoulders visibly lifts as we all let out deep breaths.
I stand and pull Charlotte up, twirling her around in circles. “Let the chaos begin.”