21
E rin followed Cruz, Paetyn behind her, as they entered the building, which opened into one large workshop. They’d come to Boulder to see if one of Cruz’s associates could make her sign in the style she wanted or one she liked. Before the appointment, they’d stopped and had lunch at a cute, eccentric hole-in-the-wall place when they arrived in town.
Her boyfriend knocked on the open door’s frame, and Erin couldn’t see around him because of his height, but she heard the man inside greet him and tell him to come in. The three walked in, and Cruz introduced her to Mike.
They shook hands, and Erin wondered if there was some rule she’d missed that said attractive men only knew other attractive men because the man that stood in front of her was good-looking, and she noticed it in the way that people always noticed the presence of someone who looked nice. His skin was the shade of cultivated cocoa beans, and his presence was welcoming.
Erin sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk while Mike grabbed another from the corner of the office and sat it beside her. Paetyn took a seat to her right and Cruz to her left.
“So, Cruz tells me you’re looking to get a sign made for your business,” Mike stated when he sat on the other side of the desk, getting down to business.
“I am,” Erin responded, reaching into her purse and pulling out her tablet. “I have the design drawn out and know the size I’m looking for.”
She brought up the drawing on her tablet, having drawn it on there once she’d gotten the paper sketch the way she wanted it. Erin handed the tablet across the desk to Mike.
He looked at it for a few minutes, zooming into the different parts before setting the tablet on the desk. “The detail in this drawing is incredible. Translated to sign form, it’s going to be eye-catching. How big were you looking to get it?”
“Thank you. Four and a half feet by three feet,” Erin replied.
“Do you have a picture of the space you want it to go in? It’ll help narrow down the style of sign that will fit best,” Mike stated.
Erin turned the tablet toward herself, went to the image gallery, and found pictures of the outside of the building. Then, she turned it back toward him.
“This is the entire building. The left side is mine.”
Mike was quiet again as he looked at the pictures. “Okay,” he started, opening one of his drawers and pulling out a binder. “I have four styles that will work well in that space.” He pulled the four out and placed them on the desk before her.
Erin was happy the style she originally wanted was among them, but another one caught her eye. She hadn’t seen a sign that looked like that when she’d been shopping around.
“Originally, this was the style I wanted,” she stated, tapping the second option. “But this one,” she continued, pointing to the third option. “Has me unsure now.”
“We can go into the workshop, and I can show you a couple of each to see how they look up close.”
“That would be great,” Erin responded.
Mike led them into the workshop and showed her two signs in her chosen style—one for a pet store and one for a comic bookstore. He then showed her two signs in the other style—one for a hair salon and one for a bridal shop. Erin wasn’t closer to deciding between them when they stepped back into his office.
“Let’s do this. Normally, when you choose a style, I send over three separate 3D mock-ups for you to pick from. I’ll make three for each one, with your design, and we can go from there. You can let me know which one you like or if you like one more than the others but need something tweaked,” Mike offered as a solution.
“I would appreciate that,” Erin stated.
“I’ll have the 3D renderings to you by Friday or Monday at the latest. Once you approve a design, I can have it made within seven to ten business days, delivered, and installed. Depending on your style, you’re looking at thirty-four to thirty-eight hundred, including delivery and installation.”
Erin was okay with that. It lined up with what she’d researched, and the signs she’d seen in person were excellent. So, she did not doubt that hers would be as well.
“That’s perfect, thank you.”
He passed her a business card. “Email your drawing to me, and I’ll fill in the order form for you to sign.”
She brought up the email on her tablet and attached the drawing. She put in Mike’s email from the business card and sent it to him. It reminded her that she needed to order some.
“Are we billing this to your account, Paetyn?” Mike questioned, looking up from where he was filling out the form.
“Yes, we ca—”
“No,” Erin stated, cutting him off and shaking her head. “You can invoice me using the email address you received the drawing from.”
Erin could feel both of her men looking at her, but she didn’t turn to either of them. They’d been quiet for the most part during the appointment.
Erin reviewed the order form before signing it and thanked Mike for his time. Cruz and Paetyn also thanked him, and the three left his office. When they reached the car, Erin slid into the backseat.
“Thank you again for setting up this meeting and bringing me,” Erin said as they pulled out onto the street.
“You don’t have to thank us,” Cruz responded, and she felt a but coming. When he didn’t continue, Erin figured she was wrong and sat back in her seat. They told her they planned on making a day of the trip, so she wondered where they were going next.
P aetyn pulled the car into the parking lot of North Boulder Park fifteen minutes after leaving the sign shop. This was an impromptu stop. They had three other places planned to go, but he didn’t feel any of them, aside from dinner, would be suitable for the conversation he wanted to have, and he didn’t want to do it at the end of their day together. If, by some chance, the conversation upset her, they’d have the rest of the day to fix it.
When they exited the car, Erin slid her hand into his while Cruz placed his arm over her shoulders. They entered the park, and he steered them over to one of the picnic tables in an area with few people. She sat down, and he and Cruz sat across from her.
“Angel,” Paetyn started. “We want to talk to you about something.”
She looked between them. “Oh-kay. What is it?”
“When we celebrated your birthday, we asked you if us doing things for you, buying you things you wanted bothered you as much as you make it seem,” Paetyn started. “You asked if we could talk about it later, and we’ve put it off far too long.”
She didn’t say anything, and he watched her body language. She stiffened some, bit the inside of her left cheek, and Paetyn watched those brown eyes take on an emotion he could read well. Defensiveness. Being on the defense made people do one of two things: guard close to the vest or lash out, and he got the feeling Erin knew they wouldn’t let the conversation drop this time. He was coming to know her well, which meant he was sure they would get both.
“It doesn’t matter,” she stated after a couple of moments. “Cruz already won his bet.”
Close to the vest, Paetyn thought.
“Ma?y, if you don’t want us to do any of those things anymore, tell us. Say it with conviction, and right here, right now, we’ll stop,” Cruz stated.
She wouldn’t because it wasn’t what she wanted. Paetyn was sure that sometimes, when they did things she thought were over the top, she was annoyed, but he didn’t think she genuinely wanted them to stop. The issue she had with it wasn’t surface-level. It was more profound, and unless she told them, they wouldn’t know how to move forward in a way he and Cruz felt like they were doing enough, or Erin felt like they weren’t doing too much.
“I understand I’m asking you to break a habit you’ve had for years. I get that you’ve gotten used to buying women, but…” she trailed off with a shrug.
Lashing out. Paetyn’s jaw ticked.
“What did you just say?” Cruz asked, and when she didn’t respond, he continued. “You think we’re trying to buy you? You can’t be fucking serious right now.”
“Cruz,” Paetyn stated. His following words were aimed at her. “You’ve two choices. You can repeat what you just said, even though you know it’s a lie. Or we can talk honestly, and you can tell us the truth, Erin.”
He didn’t miss how she flinched at the sound of her name. Paetyn wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t called her by her name since they’d started dating. She didn’t say anything, and several minutes of silence ticked by.
“You should know by now I’m a patient man, Erin. So, we can sit here as long as we need to.”
“I’m not your child, Paetyn.”
“I would hope not with the way we fuck,” Cruz scoffed, and Paetyn tapped his shoe against his. He was sure they both knew what she meant.
“You feel like I’m trying to force you to talk.”
“Yes,” Erin responded.
“Okay. When you trust us enough to tell us, then we’ll listen. Do you want some ice cream, or do you want to go to the next place?” Paetyn asked, standing.
Erin narrowed her eyes at him. “No. You don’t get to try to gaslight me.”
Paetyn furrowed his brow, genuinely confused. “I’m not trying to gaslight you.”
“Yes, you are. You just sat there and said you don’t think I trust you.”
“That isn’t what I said, and you know it.”
She shook her head. “Take me home.”
“Let’s go,” he stated. “But for the record, you’ll have to push much harder if you’re trying to get rid of us. Or come out and say it.”
Paetyn walked back toward the car. The entire tone of that conversation should have gone differently. They should have been able to sit there and talk it out, but she’d decided to push on purpose at the end, and he knew they wouldn’t get anywhere like that. He’d upset her, and while he knew the conversation might, he hadn’t meant for it to do so to that extent.
Honestly, she was mad from something she’d conjured up. He hadn’t been attempting to gaslight when he said what he had. He was a grown-ass man and didn’t partake in such juvenile things. He’d meant what he said to her.
When they were in the car, he pulled out of the parking lot. The silence in the vehicle was loud, but he didn’t expect it to be any other way.
He pulled into the parking garage of her building close to an hour later and parked the car. When he didn’t turn the engine off, he heard her hesitate in the backseat momentarily before getting out. Cruz exited the vehicle a few seconds after she did.
Paetyn rubbed his temples before killing the ignition and getting out. He walked down the hall as she opened the door, and she turned to look at them, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“Will you come in?” she asked. “Please.”
From the park to now, her body language had changed, and Paetyn wasn’t sure if she realized he’d been genuine or if she may have pushed more than she’d meant to. He walked over the threshold, Cruz behind him, and they sat on the couch as she closed the door. She would be the one to start this conversation.
C ruz sat on the couch beside Paetyn. Still pissed at Erin, insinuating they were trying to buy her. He could sleep with damn near any woman he wanted. He didn’t have to buy one to do so. However, the accusation was made worse because it’d come from her lips, and she was turning genuinely doing things for her into something tainted. Add that to the fact it was the furthest thing from the truth, and it had been better for him to keep quiet and let Paetyn try to handle it. That ended up going as well as trying to make a bag of bricks float in the ocean.
Erin sat on the loveseat, and it was quiet. The same kind that filled the car, and Cruz knew he wouldn’t be the one to break it because he didn’t trust himself not to say something that would come out harsher than he would mean for it to.
“I apologize,” Erin started. “I shouldn’t have said that. I should have told you I wasn’t sure if I wanted to discuss it.”
Neither of them said anything as she paused. She snapped her thumb nail off her index nail and sighed.
“Telling you gives you the power to hurt me far worse than you not knowing. If I tell you, and you leave, it then feels like a deliberate act, a deliberate attempt at crushing me. But you leaving without knowing won’t hurt as bad. Keeping it to myself keeps my guard up and allows me to protect myself.”
“You think we plan on leaving you, Angel?”
Cruz watched Erin’s body relax some. He assumed it was because Paetyn hadn’t called her by her name again. “I think we don’t know what the future holds. So, it’s a possibility.”
They could tell her that they’d waited a year for her and had no intention of letting her go anywhere. That the pace they usually set for their relationships had been shot to hell because they knew from the beginning that they would make it work with her. Before either of them could speak, she spoke again.
“If I allow myself to get used to the things you do, start enjoying them, or depending on them, on you. It’s only going to hurt worse when you aren’t around. When what I’ve equated as my new normal is pulled from under me.”
“Stop staying when,” Paetyn stated. “We aren’t going anywhere.”
“You just said at the park—”
“Think about what I said,” Paetyn interrupted.
“That I would have to push harder if I was trying to get rid of you or come out and say it.”
“Right, which means you’ll have to leave us if you want out. We’re in this for the long haul, Angel.”
“We aren’t little boys having fun. We came into this being honest and transparent with you,” Cruz stated. “Why would we do that if we weren’t invested in the relationship, if we didn’t want it to grow?”
Erin nodded, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “I suffer from autophobia. It’s the fear of being abandoned and stems from my anxiety over those I care about leaving me, which started when I lost my sister and became worse when my mother died. Then, after a while, I could manage it better, but lately, it’s been gnawing at me.”
“Manage it how?” Paetyn questioned.
“I kept six people that I let in and no one else. I never let anyone else get that close, allow them that deep, but I’m letting you in. I’m getting attached, and I’m sorry.”
Cruz furrowed his brow, reaching over to the loveseat and pulling her up. He brought her to sit on his lap, facing Paetyn. “Why are you sorry?”
“Because it makes me…clingy, possessive, and probably annoying until I can convince myself that you aren’t going anywhere.”
Paetyn took her hands while Cruz ran one of his up and down her side. “Why don’t you let us convince you we aren’t going anywhere,” Paetyn stated. “And who said we didn’t like possessive and clingy.”
Cruz wasn’t sure she realized it, but she had already exhibited those traits. When either of them got up and sat back down, if they weren’t as close as before, she would move to them, make sure some part of them was always touching no matter where they were or what they were doing. What she called clingy didn’t bother them. Cruz was sure that touch was her love language. They also couldn’t fault her for being possessive when they were the same. He understood what she was telling them. She needed reassurance; she needed to know they wouldn’t leave a void in her if she gave in and allowed them to do for her, give to her, and be there for her.
“We understand, but you have to understand that buying things for you, giving you things, doing things for you is all part of us convincing you. Of us showing you you’re safe with us,” Paetyn concluded.
Erin was quiet as she thought about it for a moment. “Okay,” she stated with a nod.
“That means it won’t be an argument anytime we try to do anything mentioned earlier, right?” Cruz asked. They needed to hear her say it.
“Yes.”
“Even if that means sending you on shopping sprees and spa days to relax or buying you a new car?” Cruz inquired.
“There’s nothing wrong with my car,” Erin countered.
“You told me three days ago that you have four lights on,” Paetyn reminded.
“So, it needs some maintenance. That doesn’t mean I need a new one,” Erin responded.
“Needing and wanting are two different things, and we plan to get you things you want. All you have to do is tell us,” Cruz told her. “There isn’t much we can’t give you. I told you once; it’s the perks of—”
“Of the two of you making ten figures together,” Erin interrupted. “Yes, yes. I understand, but when I start taking you up on that and want things, don’t blame me if you go broke.” Cruz and Paetyn shared a look, and Erin caught it. “What?” she questioned.
“He makes that by himself. So, you can try, but I don’t think you’ll succeed,” Paetyn supplied, and Erin turned to look at him with a look that said she’d ceased to function for a moment, and he refrained from chuckling.
“You okay, Ma?y?”
“Yes, I don’t know why this is just sinking in. Maybe it was because I thought you made it half and half, which is still overwhelmingly rich, but you’re disgustingly wealthy.”
Both men laughed as she shook her head. Cruz had never been called that before, and the fact that she was only realizing that was amusing. She could have looked up his net worth at any point, though the numbers would have more than likely been a bit off. The fact that she hadn’t just proved that she wasn’t with them for what they could give her, which was why they wanted to.
“Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s watch some movies, and later, we’ll order takeout,” Paetyn said.
Erin slid off his lap to grab the remote, sitting between them when she returned. The first official disagreement was resolved. Check.