Chapter 4 #2
“Because if you do that, you’ll never know the full pleasure I can bring you,” I confessed.
What had gotten into me, making me go from being cautious to this, I had no clue. It was coming out of me. Shut up and slow down, dumbass, I lectured myself.
Others were swimming, laughing, and chatting around us, but we were caught in our own little world. Astrid was searching my face. “Mayhem, what’s gotten into you? Why are you talking like this?”
“Why do you think?” I countered.
“My guess is you think if you sweet-talk a little and hit on me, that you’ll get something from me.
But I’m here to tell you that I’m not like that.
I don’t sleep around for the sake of sex.
From what I’ve heard, if you want that, you can get it from any woman at Punisher’s Eden or even those who come to your clubhouse. Excuse me, but I’m done.”
Her scowl made it clear that she was upset. Her words hit me in the chest. Fuck, I was ruining it. Not knowing what to do other than to hold her against me tighter so she wouldn’t leave, that’s what I did. Astrid began to struggle to get loose.
“Let go of me this instant! If you don’t, I’ll scream,” she hissed.
“I’m not letting you go until you hear me out. I know I’m messing this up. I didn’t want to do it like this. I planned to let you get used to me, but I can’t control myself when I’m around you.”
“Do what? Proposition me? Let me save you the time. I’m not some slut that you can fuck and then kick out of your bed,” she snapped.
“Christ, I know that! And I have no intention of doing that to you. Why do you think you’re here today?”
She frowned. “Because Haven asked me to come hang out and have a relaxing, fun day.”
“That’s part of it, but it wasn’t Haven’s idea.
It was mine and Tinker’s. I wanted you to get to know my club family and to be at ease with them and me.
But I can’t control my reaction to you, and it’s fucked things up.
I want you, Astrid, in the worst way imaginable.
But not for a night of hot sex and then we’re done.
I want to get to know you, and for you to get to know me.
To have no secrets between us. No woman has ever affected me the way you do.
I react like a teenager whenever you’re near.
“God, tell me that you’re at least a little bit into me.
If you are, then we can grow it on your end.
I know we can. As for me, I’ve been dreaming of you for months.
If you hadn’t come back to Bristol when you did, I’d be headed to wherever you were to bring you here.
It was fate that brought you here when you did. ”
I was saying whatever came to mind that might convince her not to leave and to give me a chance. I was so sure she was the one woman for me. I watched the pulse in her neck fluttering. Her breathing was labored, and her eyes were shiny, like she’d been crying. I placed my forehead on hers.
“Please, don’t cry, baby. I only want what’s best for you. If you hate the idea of being near me, then I’ll stop. I’ll be your friend if that’s all I can get.”
My stomach churned. I was able to charm any woman I wanted into my bed, except the one who meant something to me.
What a joke. And the thought of us only being friends made me want to howl in denial, but having her in my life, however I could, was better than nothing.
God, I sounded so pathetic. I wondered if my married brothers had felt the same way when they were pursuing their wives.
Astrid remained quiet for so long that I eventually eased my hold. I wouldn’t force her to touch me if she abhorred it. This move got a response. Her hands came up, and she clutched my biceps. Her fingernails dug slightly into them. There was a look of panic on her face.
“Stop! Don’t move, Mayhem. Please, I need a few moments to process what you said. Are you being real with me? Tell me the truth. I’m not willing to play games. Have you been thinking of me for months?” The last sentence was asked breathlessly.
“Astrid, I swear on my life and cut that I’m not playing a game. I’m not trying to get you in my bed and then send you packing after a night or two.”
“How do you know it’s more than lust and a drive for sex?
I have no doubt you’re a man with a high sex drive.
And you have no trouble attracting as many women to your bed as you want.
Why me? Do you often choose a woman to spend a few weeks or months with before you move on to another?
Is that what this is? I’m the latest flavor? ”
I gave her a gentle shake to ensure she was focused on me and what I was about to say. Her assumption that I did this all the time and would be letting her go angered me. But I couldn’t entirely blame her for thinking it either.
“Come with me,” I urged.
I held onto her and walked us to the deepest spot in the pool in a corner where no one was near enough to overhear us. We were getting curious looks as we stood still and talked so intently. I would prefer to have this conversation in the privacy of my home, but this will have to do.
“Yes, I have a high sex drive. I believe most men do. I have had plenty of women to choose from if I wish. I’m not bragging, just stating a fact.
And no, you’re not the latest flavor in a long line of women I choose to have a short-term affair with.
I don’t have affairs or relationships. My last girlfriend was when I was twenty years old.
She couldn’t handle me being in the military, and when we broke up, I decided not to engage in anything serious with women.
I’ve been living that way for the past twenty years. ”
Astrid interrupted before I could say more. “Then why would you change that now? You’re not making any sense.”
“I’m changing because that way of life no longer appeals to me.
But I won’t settle for just anyone. I’ll be alone first. You asked why you.
Why not? You’re smart, sassy, unafraid, witty, sexy, and smart, to name a few of your qualities.
I’m drawn to you in a way I’ve never been with anyone else.
You fill my mind day and night. You and I together would be a permanent situation, not a mere weeks or months one. ”
Her mouth dropped open as I expressed what I thought of her. She swallowed, then asked, “Permanent?” Her voice was hoarse.
I lowered my head so I could whisper in her ear.
“Yes, permanent. I want you, Astrid. Hell, I need you. And the way I feel is telling me to grab you with both hands and run away with you. To keep you until you see that I’m the man for you.
I know acting like a caveman isn’t the way to go with you, but the urge is there.
“I want to spend hours with you, just talking and soaking you in. And I want to have you spread out naked on my bed, my kitchen table, fuck, even on my bike, so I can feast and then give both of us unimaginable pleasure. I know that if we’re together, it’ll be explosive and nothing like anything we’ve had in the past. If you hate the idea and know that you’d never want any of that with me, tell me now, and I’ll stop. ”
A whimper escaped her, and when I glanced at her face, I saw raw desire, along with something more profound.
Without a qualm, I moved, bringing our mouths a hairbreadth apart.
Astrid moaned, and then she kissed me. I almost broke the kiss to shout in triumph, but I didn’t.
What I did do was passionately kiss her back.
Our mouths hungrily consumed each other.
When her mouth parted, my tongue got in on the action.
Her tongue came seeking mine. I lifted her so I could kiss her without bending.
Her arms came up around my shoulders, and she fisted the short hair on the back of my skull. I growled in approval.
Our kiss was heating up when we were brought back to reality by a loud whistle and the yelled comments from those surrounding us. I’d forgotten we weren’t alone. Reluctantly, I ended it, but not before placing a soft kiss on her swollen lips. “To be continued,” I whispered before I looked around.
It seemed all eyes were on us, no matter if the person was in the pool or along the perimeter of it. I saw surprise, smugness, and more. I held Astrid in place, refusing to let go of her.
“What’s this?” Maniac, our VP, asked. He was standing with his arm around his old lady, Lark. Their sons, Flynn and Ransom, must be in the kiddie pool.
“What does it look like?” I countered.
“It looks like you’re sucking off Astrid’s face. I knew you were hungry, but damn. Don’t eat the poor woman,” Remus joked.
“I’m hungry, too. Mind if I have a go?” Ratchet added.
“If any of you bastards make a move toward Astrid, I’ll tear your head off and stuff it up your ass. She’s not a damn bunny or hang-around,” I snapped.
“Oh, then what is she?” Tinker asked.
Haven stood beside him, her mouth open in shock. Tinker smirked. The fucker knew and was seeing if I’d say it out loud. Without a bit of embarrassment, I smiled.
“If she says yes, she’s my old lady. There will be no one-night shit or casual friends with benefits. Astrid is the woman I’m trying to convince to take a chance on me and become my everything. Could you not interrupt us? I’m trying to show her a little of what she’ll get.”
The muttering increased among my club family. Astrid turned her head so she could see my face. I met her gaze. “You’re serious. You want me, and it’s not just for fun.”
“Damn right, I do. What about you? That kiss said something to me. Was it real? Are you interested and want to make this happen with me?”
“We barely know each other, Mayhem.” I opened my mouth to insist we had the rest of our lives to get to know each other. “Hold on, let me finish,” she said. I snapped it shut.
“As I was saying, we hardly know each other, and it’s insane for us to commit when we have no idea if we’ll develop feelings beyond lust. Yes, I’m deeply drawn to you.
And I’ve thought about you a lot while I was gone.
The likelihood that we’ll become a permanent couple isn’t high in this day and age.
Few couples stay together, and the risk of getting hurt is huge. ”
As she said each sentence, my heart sank further. She was going to turn me down. What the hell would I do then? I refused to push myself on someone who didn’t want me. I had more pride than that. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost missed her last sentence.
“But despite all the reasons why we shouldn’t do this, I’m gonna go for it anyway. Come what may.”
Had I heard her right? “D-did you just say yes?” I asked.
Her smile was both sweet and alluring. She nodded. “Yes, Mayhem, I said yes. Now, where were we?”
She pulled my head down and sealed her lips to mine again.
I vaguely heard the catcalls, whistles, and the congratulatory yells.
Those didn’t matter at the moment, only sealing this pact with her.
Now that she said yes, I would do everything in my power to prove to Astrid she hadn’t made a mistake and we were meant for each other.
We were yanked back to reality when cool water was splashed on us. I growled as I broke our kiss to see who I was going to murder. Standing in the water not far from us was Reaper. Shit, I couldn’t kill our president. He grinned.
“Congratulations, you two. I think you should go home and have some alone time to talk through things. We won’t be eating for a few hours.
I’ll let you know when it’s time. There will be plenty of time to swim.
Besides, you don’t want to be giving all these pervs a show.
” He gestured to the single brothers who were avidly watching us.
“Thanks, Pres, that’s a great idea. And you’re right. These pervs don’t need to see this. They’re jealous enough.”
“Damn right we are,” one of them yelled.
I think it was Hail. I guided Astrid toward the stairs while listening to the laughter of my family.
I knew they weren’t making fun of us. They were happy for me.
I kept a secure hold on her as we walked up the stairs.
I was all for us being alone and starting the process of getting to know each other.
And if there was more kissing, all the better.
I wasn’t expecting sex from her, but tasting her sweet lips was amazing.