10. Chapter Ten
CHAPTER TEN
EZRA
E zra peeked under his jacket to see Maylee asleep, sucking her thumb. The sight was so precious he wished he could stare at her for hours.
“You finally made your move?” Justin asked.
He gently returned the jacket to its spot and regarded the three of them. He hadn’t expected them to walk in right as they were talking. Normally, they gave them privacy for lunch, knowing not to come in until she left.
“Trying,” he said. “I can’t move too fast because she’s new to all of it, and I don’t want to rush her.”
They nodded.
“What are you going to do?” Hassan asked. “If you don’t want her, I’ll gladly take her.”
Ezra growled and glared at him. “Over my dead body.”
“Has, you know you can’t say that. You know he staked his claim a long time ago,” Perry said. “I thought you would be smart about that. You don’t threaten to take a man’s woman away from him. ”
“We have history. You guys know that. We dated and loved each other, but I kept that I was a Daddy away from her. I should have just told her right away, but I didn’t. I’m trying to gain that deep level of trust again and show her that I do care for her and love her,” Ezra began. “It’s a slow process. She doesn’t fully believe that she’s a Little, but I see it every day.”
“Don’t let her go,” Justin said. “She’s one hundred percent a Little.”
“I know, and I plan on showing her that. I also don’t plan on letting her go. No way in hell am I doing that again. She’s mine, and no one else can have her.”
It had been torture to stay away from her for years. During his deployment it had helped some, but he’d missed her and worried about her. He couldn’t slip up while he was gone and confess that he loved her.
“Do you remember the night he got drunk and confessed his love for her?” Perry asked.
Ezra groaned. He was hoping that story would never come up.
“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Hassan replied. “It was amazing. I’m pretty sure someone got it on video tape. The one and only time he got drunk.”
“It’s never going to happen again,” Ezra said.
He didn’t like being out of control, and being drunk was one good way of being out of control.
“Those were the good old days,” Justin added. “Can’t believe it’s been over seven years since that night. Feels like it was just yesterday.”
Ezra missed those nights with his fellow brothers, but at the same time he was glad to be done and back in Deadwood. Maylee was here, and he was able to keep a good eye on her. He was also able to make a move on her after so many years of dreaming about it.
“Fucking glad it’s over, though,” Perry said.
Out of everyone, he’d probably had it the worst. Perry was the unit’s medic, and many people had died in his arms. Not that they all hadn’t, but he’d probably had the most.
“You still having nightmares?” Justin asked.
“We’re not fucking talking about this,” Perry growled.
“Are you talking to your therapist then?” Hassan questioned.
Perry glared at all of them. “We aren’t fucking talking about me.”
Ezra worried. Perry getting super defensive was one of the telltale signs when he was getting worse.
“We just want to help and make sure everything is okay. We’re not trying to pry into your life,” Ezra said, calmly. “You know that. We’re all looking out for each other. We want to make sure everyone is doing okay.”
Perry sighed. “I know. Just stop fucking asking me questions, all right?”
He was going to have to ask Perry about it later, when no one else was around. Sometimes, it was hard for them to talk about things in front of a large group, even if they had gone through hell together. There was something about not wanting to appear weak in front of each other.
“I can say I’ve been to my therapist more in the past week than I have since I got back,” Hassan said.
Ezra groaned. Hassan was the person who bottled things up and went to his therapist maybe three times in a year. He needed all the therapy he could get for what he had experienced, but he wanted to show how tough he was.
Something had changed during the past few months. Ezra didn’t know what exactly had made him seek therapy, but something had, and he wasn’t going to complain.
“And how is that going?” Justin asked.
“Brought up some nasty shit.” Hassan shrugged. “It is what it is. Nothing is going to change.”
“You might be surprised. One day it may just click and get better,” Justin said.
“It’ll probably get worse before it gets better, but that’s almost with everything,” Ezra added. “That’s how it was for me, and I still struggle every now and then. There are different triggers for different things.”
“Good to know. May just stop before it gets worse,” Hassan said.
That was not what Ezra wanted to hear, but he couldn’t push Hassan to go to therapy to talk about things. If he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready.
“I’m going to try and keep you here, but there might be a job soon that you’ll have to go to,” Justin said.
“Who else is here?” Ezra asked.
“Hassan and Perry. Hassan is going on a job tomorrow, and Perry is on standby. You know he can’t really guard people. He is needed in case of an emergency, and we have to fly him out.”
Ezra was aware of that. Part of him wished he was the medic of the group, but he didn’t know much about medical things, and he had no desire to .
“Thanks for trying to keep me here, but if it comes down to it, I’ll be super clear with Maylee so she knows I’m coming back,” Ezra said. “If I do leave, you can check in on her? I have no doubt she’ll be okay, but she’s just starting to figure out her Little side, and I would hate for her to slip in that headspace and have something happen.”
Justin waved his hand. “You know I will. You won’t have to worry about a thing, but I’m going to try my hardest to keep you here. I don’t know how much longer Johnson, David, and Micah will be.”
“No worries. As long as I have a couple hours’ heads up, I can let Maylee know and make sure she’s okay.”
“We’ll talk to you later. Have fun working with your girl in your lap,” Hassan said.
All three of them left, and he looked down at Maylee after he pulled back his jacket. She was still sucking her thumb, and it was a precious sight. Though, he probably needed to buy her a pacifier instead, so it didn’t damage her teeth.
With that thought, he got on his computer and started to shop for her.