8. Chapter 8
Mazorium
I turned around with a bowl full of jorjuk stew to find that Mika had changed the configuration of her outfit to allow Nadia access to one of her mammary glands.
My body froze as my eyes focused on the image in front of me.
I felt so many things so rapidly I wasn’t able to move for several micromarks.
The first thing that hit me was how beautiful Mika looked while she nourished Nadia. She was gazing at the baby with a degree of love and happiness that I didn’t know existed. The pup was newly born but Mika would die to protect her.
What had it been like when Mika carried Nadia in her body?
She’d probably talked to the baby in her belly, telling her how much she was loved even before she was born.
I longed to have known Mika then. I could’ve spoken to the unborn pup too and maybe even put my head to Mika’s belly and listened to Nadia’s heartbeat.
That would’ve been magical. No experience in my life would’ve compared.
In the wake of that longing, a powerful jealousy rose up in me. It was thick and ugly, like black sickness that can invade and destroy a ship’s biosystem.
For a brief moment, I wanted to be Nadia. I wanted Mika’s undivided attention. I wanted her love focused entirely on me.
Little Nadia would never understand what the absence of such adoration felt like. I had an entire childhood devoid of even a fraction of the affection that Mika was displaying at the moment. This pup would be showered with affection her entire life and never realize it was a gift.
One of Nadia’s hands waved in the air as she suckled, as if she was trying to get my attention. The negative feelings vanished, replaced by an overwhelming sense of responsibility.
Why was I jealous of a pup? Nadia was helpless and needed me to be her protector not her competitor. Eventually Mika might trust me enough to be affectionate toward me, but my first concern needed to be keeping them both safe and healthy.
Shaking off the emotions I wasn’t used to feeling, I started up a soothing rumble and brought the stew over to Mika.
“You need to eat also,” I said, setting it down in front of her. She picked up the tall bowl with one hand and took a cautious sip. She must’ve decided she liked it because she started slurping it down.
“This is really good!” she exclaimed.
“I fed that to you a few times over the last rotation,” I pointed out.. “But you never seemed to come fully awake during those times.”
She nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that much good sleep. Thank you.”
“From now on, you’ll get all the sleep you need,” I assured her. “We’ll be stopping at a Talin owned and operated station soon. I hope they’ll have all the supplies we need for you, including more bedding.”
“More bedding?” she asked. “If you need some of it, you can take it. I don’t need such a big, um, nest.”
For some reason she looked amused when saying the word nest. Probably because it wasn’t up to the standards for a human.
“It’s not that we lack bedding but that yours isn’t the correct kind,” I explained. “You should have bigger and softer pillows and blankets that are colorful and fluffy. I’ve read all the literature and humans can only be happy if they have those things.”
“What else does the literature say about humans?” she asked, then winced a little and pulled Nadia away from her breast. Her dark nipple was taut and wet from the baby’s suckling.
For a brief moment I had the urge to put my lips to her breast and suckle also.
I shook my head to get that inappropriate image out of my mind.
“Did the baby hurt you?” I asked as Nadia started fussing. I now knew that those sounds often led to much louder sounds of unhappiness. “I can get a milk ball from the sleeping quarters.”
“No, it’s fine,” Mika said, shifting her clothing to cover one mammary gland and reveal the other one. “Nadia sucked that breast dry, and when she does that it can sting a little. That’s all. It’s nothing.”
As I watched, she held Nadia to her other breast and the baby latched on and started suckling again. Mika rubbed the baby’s cheek with one finger before picking up the stew to finish eating.
“When it doesn’t sting, what does it feel like when she feeds from you?” I asked.
Mika moved her shoulders a little. It took me a moment to remember that movement was called a shrug and could mean many things, including a lack of knowledge or the inability to articulate answers.
“It’s hard to describe,” she said. “Scientifically I know breastfeeding can release all kinds of hormones in my body that help me bond with Nadia and feel happy. But there’s more. I get this sense of connection. There really isn’t a word for it.”
As a scientist who dealt with numbers and formulas, I could understand struggling to describe a feeling. How did you explain an experience with mere words?
“I read that a human can nurse their pups for up to five solars,” I said. “But that long isn’t recommended.”
“Five solars,” she repeated, then her eyes went wide.
“You mean years? Nope! I’ll probably stop breastfeeding when she starts getting teeth.
Mom said the earlier you can teach a baby to eat regular food the healthier they are.
I’m actually lucky; my mom’s milk didn’t even come in for my youngest sibling.
That was when I had to go to work for a local business, otherwise we couldn’t afford the milk balls for her. ”
“How old were you?” I asked.
“Fifteen standard years old,” she said. “It wasn’t bad. Because I was still small, I got to do the easier job shifting suspended loads from the ceiling beams.”
A shocked rattle came out of me before I could stop it. “That’s a dangerous job! Even when wearing a safety harness, you can be badly hurt if you fall.”
“I fell a few times but only got bumps and bruises,” she said, obviously unconcerned with the horrible danger she’d been placed in as a child.
My human didn’t realize how fragile she was!
“You’ll never do labor again,” I declared, hoping to be reassuring.
Mika’s expression tightened, as if she wanted to argue with me but chose not to speak. I didn’t like that she wasn’t communicating freely, but trust had to be earned, so all I could do was be patient and keep proving to her that all my actions were sincere.
I needed to make a note in the journal I was keeping on taming a wild human, that some humans might be prone to putting themselves in danger.
“Do you want more jorjuk?” I asked when I noticed she’d finished the bowl full.
“I’m still a little hungry,” she agreed.
I jumped up to fix her another human-sized serving and also grabbed a canister of water. When I placed them in front of her, she drank most of the water first then started in on the stew. Nadia continued to drink from Mika's breast in quiet contentment.
I noticed that her everclean suit was starting to change color.
That indicated it needed to be switched out for a new one.
This might be a good moment for Mika to show me how to do this task.
According to the literature, human pups needed to wear everclean suits until they were roughly three to four solars old.
As they got bigger they could wear half suits, but when they were this small, only full suits would work.
I didn’t entirely understand how the everclean suit worked, something about nano tech breaking down the pup’s waste products and storing the elements in the suit’s fibers. It didn’t really matter as long as it kept the pup clean and dry.
Having Nadia meant I needed to reconsider my resupply list.
“I need you to think about everything you might need for your pup for the first three solars of her life,” I told Mika.
She looked confused. “Why?”
“So I can make sure we don’t exclude vital items,” I explained. “I understand that’s a lot of things to consider, so don’t make yourself ill thinking about it too much. Simply do your best and we can compensate as necessary.”
“Oh, right. That makes sense,” she said, then yawned. “I just woke up, but it feels like I’m ready to sleep again.”
Nadia’s mouth relaxed around Mika’s nipple, her face going lax in sleep.
“You’re not the only one who wants sleep,” I pointed out with an amused rumble, then winced. My chestbox was sore from making that rumble for so long. My legs and lower back were also sore from doing what I called Nadia’s Gait. The discomfort was a small price to pay to make Nadia content.
Thankfully a comforting rumble didn’t bother my chestbox. I couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to “purr” for Mika.
Mika lowered Nadia and moved her garment back in place. I noticed that her nipple looked irritated to the point of almost bleeding. I didn’t like that! I’d need to find a balm she could use to keep her nipples from being injured by Nadia’s feeding.
She picked up a cloth I’d left on the table earlier and tossed it over her shoulder. Then I watched her arrange Nadia and start patting her back until she belched up some air and a portion of the food she’d consumed.
It was no wonder humans struggled to survive; their young couldn’t even keep down the nutrients vital for their survival.
Nadia woke up briefly, let out an unhappy sound, then fell right back to sleep as Mika cradled her again.
“Rest is probably best for you,” I said, plucking the soiled cloth from her shoulder and tossing it in a corner until I could put it in a cleansing unit later. “Can I carry you back to your nest?”
“I want to walk,” she said, standing up with Nadia cradled in her arms. I was pleased that she didn’t argue about resting more.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To my sleeping quarters,” I answered, sounding a questioning rumble. “We just discussed it. You need to rest and that’s where the nest is.”
She chuckled. “No, I meant where is our destination, as in traveling through space.”
“Oh,” I said and almost sounded a rumble of amusement, but I remembered in time and stifled the urge. I needed my chestbox to recover in case Nadia needed me to soothe her again. “We will be arriving at the station in roughly twenty-seven marks.”
“That’s right,” she said with a little nod. “You said that already. I remember Mom forgetting a lot of things when she was pregnant and right after. She called it mom-brain. I thought she was exaggerating, but now I understand.”
She yawned again. I really wished she’d let me carry her. Thankfully we were soon entering my sleeping quarters. She started for the nest, but I stopped her. The nest was a disorganized mess, I couldn't let her lay down in that!
“Please sit while I fix this,” I said and got to work.
Mika
Bemused, I watched as Mazorium took great pains to rearrange my bed. I had knocked a few pillows around in my panic, but, really, it wasn't that bad. Still, Mazorium pulled it all apart and reassembled it layer by layer.
I shifted Nadia in my arms a little and remembered that her everclean suit needed to be changed. I spotted a stack of items on a table that included a few everclean onesies. I got up to get one and Mazorium straightened with two pillows clutched in his hands.
“What are you doing?”
“I need to change Nadia’s everclean outfit.”
He sounded a rumble that made me think of feet wearing stockings running across a floor. It took me a moment to remember that was the sound of agreement. I really needed my mom-brain to start catching on faster!
“Please wait until I’m done here,” he requested. “I wish to see how it’s done.”
“Sure,” I said, sitting back down. I couldn’t remember any male in my life ever helping my mom as much as Mazorium wanted to assist me.
Dad wasn’t mean or neglectful, but he worked long hours and didn’t seem particularly interested in doing much after he got home.
Mom worked too, but because of us kids, her hours at the pod processing plant were limited.
The two things I remember the most were Mom always moving, even while Dad rested, and our constant struggle to afford the basics.
Not only did Mazorium seem rich and successful, but he treated Nadia as if she was a precious life that he wanted to nurture above all else, even when she was being messy or fussy. Most other species only tolerated humans, but this Talin acted as if we were special and valuable.
After watching the way Mazorium treated Nadia when no one was around to watch, I trusted him to care for her.
Once the bed was to his standards, he led me into it. When I was sitting comfortably among many fluffy pillows, he fetched an everclean suit and knelt on the edge of the nest.
“It’s not complicated,” I said, laying Nadia out. She fussed a little but settled quickly. I showed him how to release the hidden closures down the center of the suit. He watched closely as I worked Nadia’s little arms and legs out of the suit, then tugged it out from under her.
“She doesn’t want to help you,” he commented when Nadia pulled her hand away and made it hard for me to get the new suit on.
“It’s a baby’s job,” I said with a laugh.
“Their job is to be difficult?” he asked.
“Their job is to learn how to fight,” I answered. “Humans have to fight to survive, so it’s important we learn the skill early.”
Mazorium went silent for a moment then started purring again. I looked up to find his eyes staring at me with uncomfortable intensity. “You no longer need to fight. Both of you have a new job.”
“What’s that?” I asked. Was it weird that my voice went a little breathless?
“You need to thrive,” he said.
Why was my body interpreting his words as seductive? I wasn’t ready to process that, so I refocused on Nadia. As soon as she was changed, I laid her on her back in a clear section of the nest. He urged me to lay down and then tucked a blanket around me.
“I’ll be here,” he promised, taking a seat at the desk built into the wall. “You won’t wake alone.”
I let sleep take me, feeling comforted by his presence far more than I was ready to admit.