Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
STARLING
Over a month later…
I t is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a turkey in an old-fashioned bow tie will be in want of a matching lace collar for his wife.
And a new bouncy ball.
And extra corn feed.
And his dog bed in case he decides he needs a nap while at a playdate at a friend’s house.
“Oh my gosh, they’re adorable! So fancy and vintage,” Nora says when I arrive at the gate to her backyard with the two turkeys and all their accoutrement around ten a.m. She stands back, motioning for Kyle and his new mate, Penelope, to come on in, as I set the feed and bag of toys inside by the fence. “Welcome, guys. Happy Thanksgiving! We’re so glad you came to party with us.”
“Thank you so much for taking them,” I say, beaming as Kyle and Penny race off to explore the toddler slides Nora borrowed from a friend for the occasion. “Penny’s even smarter than Kyle. I just know she would have figured out what the McGuire’s are serving for supper today and flipped out.”
Penny’s the one who helped Kyle get home when he flew the coop last month. She’s clearly part tracking pigeon and all sweetheart. She’s a domesticated turkey, too. Kyle happened across her in his adventures on a nearby farm, where he freed Penny and her sisters from their pen in a spontaneous jailbreak. Her sisters elected to stay put, but Penny apparently saw something special in that renegade turkey’s eye and well…the rest is history.
Her former owner agreed to sell her to me, she and Kyle were married in a simple ceremony beneath my elm tree, and they’re well on their way to happily ever after.
And, amazingly, so am I.
It’s been nearly two months since Christian moved in with me—renting his house out, as planned—and it’s been nothing but cohabitational bliss. We get along so well, have a blast doing even simple things like playing with the animals or planning our meals for the week, and the sex continues to be phenomenal.
Like… really phenomenal.
It’s so good, I hardly notice the scandalized glances and whispers from the more uptight people in town anymore. Let them talk and gossip about our accidental sex tape. I’m too happy and well-loved to pay them any mind.
“So?” Nora turns back to me with a curious light in her big eyes. “Did you talk to Christian about Matty? Is he still leaving town? Because that van he’s living in now that he rented his house is still parked on his friend’s property down the road.”
I lean against the entrance to the fence, wrapping my coat tighter around me to ward off the chill. Luckily, it hasn’t snowed yet, but it’s a chilly Thanksgiving for sure. I’m not sure how Nora’s not shivering in nothing but a fluffy blue sweater, but maybe her burning need for information on her secret crush is keeping her warm. “Yeah, apparently. I guess he ran into a few snags with his tourist visas, but the plan is still to leave before the end of the year.”
She scrunches her nose. “I don’t believe it. Something fishy is going on with him and this whole trip. I sense it every time we run into each other around town. And I spotted him behind The Cupcake Factory again yesterday. Lurking and sneaking.”
I arch a brow. “Lurking and sneaking or just…buying some cupcakes to bring to Thanksgiving dinner? I’m pretty sure he’s in charge of desserts. Christian and I are salad and rolls.”
“Fine, maybe he was just scoring dessert, not stolen purses from his mob connection to sell on the black market.” Her lips push into a pout. “But I can’t shake the feeling that something’s off with him. When he stopped to help me get my car out of the ditch last week, he kept warning me to stay away from him.”
“All while penetrating you with his eyes?” I ask, with a wiggle of my brows.
“Yes!” She sighs and flaps an arm my way. “So, you’ve noticed that, too? It isn’t all in my head?”
“No, it’s not,” I confirm. “He was making visual love to you the entire haunted hotel cocktail party. I half expected to find you guys banging in the secret séance room before the night was through.”
Nora bites her lip. “No. No banging. But he did kiss me. And not just any kiss. It was a super steamy one. Probably the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
“What?” I reach out, giving her shoulder a playful shove. “You’ve been holding out on me, woman. You had the best kiss of your life nearly a month ago and this is the first I’m hearing about it?”
She winces. “I know, I know. I wanted to tell you, but afterward, he acted like nothing happened until I started thinking maybe I’d dreamt the whole thing. It’s so weird. And it’s seriously messing with my head and my business. I was so late with my latest product order, I almost missed the pre-holiday delivery window.” She leans back against the fence, casting a wistful look toward the turkeys gamboling up and down the plastic slides. “Why can’t I have a crush on a guy who’s into me, too? Like Penelope?”
“She’s one lucky turkey all right,” I agree, smiling as I watch Kyle check in on her after a particularly vigorous swoop down the slide. “Kyle, too. I’m so glad they found each other.” Turning back to Nora, I add, “You’re going to find your perfect fit, too. I know it. Christian’s still in his early days marketing for Ugly Dog Brewery but I’m convinced the new COO, Dean, is perfect for you. Give me until after the holidays to work on Chris, but I’m sure I can sweet talk him into helping me set you two up.”
“Thanks,” Nora says. “I appreciate all the setting up I can get. The dating apps are the worst. Though I did have a decent dinner with that guy, Sam, last week. We’re actually meeting up later today to go for a walk by the lake after Gram and I have our usual popcorn and ice-cream feast. His family lives far away so he doesn’t have Thanksgiving plans, either.”
“Cool,” I say. “I hope you have fun. And don’t hesitate to reach out if the turkeys are misbehaving and need an attitude adjustment. I’ll only be a quick drive across town and can be here in a jiff.”
“Will do,” Nora says. “And if Matty brings a date to dinner, don’t tell me, okay? Even if I ask in a moment of weakness? I’m determined to put him out of my mind and move on with my life.”
“Got it.” I hold out my arms for a hug, squeezing her tight. “I’m proud of you. You’re getting better with the whole animal phobia thing every day.”
“Thanks,” she says, a self-conscious grin on her face as she pulls back from the embrace. “I still relapse every now and then, but I’m making progress. Slowly, but surely.”
“And you should feel good about that. So many people with phobias never get past them.” I blow her a kiss and head out the gate. “Be back around seven to pick up the feather babies.”
She waves. “See you then.”
As soon as she shuts the gate behind me, I turn and run back to my car as fast as my legs will carry me, feeling a tiny bit guilty for dropping the turkeys off earlier than I absolutely had to, but too excited about my pre-Thanksgiving surprise to feel too bad. But I definitely don’t want Wren spotting me from next door at her place and asking me to come over for coffee or to see the new outfit she’s made Keanu for the family celebration.
I adore my sister—and her and Barrett’s whacky dog—but I have other plans this morning.
Plans with my man, my best friend, and the only person I’d ever buy a barbarian warrior princess costume for.
I’m not sure when Christian told me about his “forced to pleasure the lady warlord fantasy,” but it’s been swimming around in my head for weeks now. We’ve both been so busy with work—me ramping up for Furry Friends’ winter fundraisers and Christian starting his new job at the brewery—that there hasn’t been as much time for elaborate role play.
We’ve still been getting busy on the regular, and I have zero complaints about my fantastic sex life. But I want to show Christian that I haven’t forgotten how much he enjoys a little extra spice. And that I intend to keep seducing him for the foreseeable future.
Hopefully, for the rest of our lives.
I can’t imagine loving another man the way I love Chris, a fact I prove once I’m home and have changed into my fur bra and leather loincloth with the matching fur and leather boots. I tease my hair into a wild tangle of fluff around my shoulders and smear mascara on my chest and cheeks for makeshift war dirt.
Bella wanders by the bathroom at one point and chirps in seeming amusement, before yawning and toddling into the master closet where she likes to sleep in our dirty laundry during the day. She’s a darling girl—even if she does have a weird affinity for stinky sweat socks and underpants—and I’m so grateful to be her mom.
I’m also grateful that she seems to understand when Christian and I want privacy and makes herself scarce—no more appearing under the covers for post-coital licks, though she does occasionally crawl into bed with us before morning. But that’s okay. Since Kyle and Penny have taken to sleeping in an extra-large dog bed in the laundry room, there’s more room in the bed than there used to be.
Though I don’t intend on using the bed today…
As soon as I hear the front door close, signaling Christian’s back from his morning run, I grab my plastic battle axe and head out to meet him in the hall.
The moment he locks eyes on me in my wild getup, he breaks into a smile of surprised delight. “Oh no, Lady Warlord,” he murmurs, kicking off his shoes by the door, “please don’t kidnap me and force me back to your tent to pleasure you all night long on a bed of furs. I’m sweaty from my run and have a very serious girlfriend.”
“I couldn’t care less about your sweat or your woman, captive,” I say, fighting a grin as I wield my plastic axe menacingly his way. “I want a child and you’re the first man I’ve come across in years in this dark forest. You will fuck me until I conceive, or your cock falls off in my bed, but be sure of this—I will have a baby from you.” I hesitate before adding in a more sultry tone, “And…my pleasure.”
His breath rushes out as he murmurs, “Fuck, you’re hot.”
“To my bed!” I shout, herding him into the living room, where I’ve turned out all the lights, made a makeshift “tent” out of several sheets draped across the furniture, and arranged flickering electric candles around the fake fur blanket I bought on sale last week. “I want you naked and hard for me, captive.”
“Yes, mistress, right away,” he says, stripping out of his running pants and shirt with an enthusiasm that makes my nipples tighten in my furry bra.
Damn, this man looks good in nothing at all.
I can’t help grunting, “You’re a fine specimen, captive. I think you’ll make strong, sturdy offspring.”
“I’ll try, mistress,” he says, his cock already thick and hard as he tosses his boxer briefs to the ground. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a turn-on to think about coming bare inside a woman like you.”
Damn. I’ve never been so glad to be on the pill and in a committed, condom-free relationship.
I pull in a breath, shivering a little as I rasp, “On the furs. On your back. I intend to stake my claim on every inch of that fine cock.”
“And I don’t intend to put up a fight,” he says, casting one last heated glance my way before dropping down to his knees to move through the small entrance into the tent.
Thanking my lucky stars, my fairy godmother, and whatever mixture of genetics and solid, empowering upbringing gave me the guts to ask Christian to be my sex mentor in the first place, I join him, determined to make this a morning he’ll never forget.