Chapter One #5
Tears burned in my eyes. I couldn’t do this. He didn’t get it. He’d throw us away for a stupid patch. “I’m going home.”
“Micki—”
I tried to slip free, but he held me tight. The sweet way he called me Micki wasn’t going to work on me, not this time. “You want permission to cheat on me?”
“It wouldn’t be cheating,” he said.
“What do you call sticking your dick into another girl?”
“Fucking.”
I rolled my eyes to keep tears from filling them. “We agreed. When you fuck someone who isn’t me, you’re cheating.”
“Okay.” He held me even tighter, bent his neck, and breathed me in. “I wasn’t thinking. This, you and me, isn’t the same.” His fingers trailed along my arm sending a shiver over my flesh and making my tummy quiver.
“If it isn’t the same when you’re with me, then what are we?”
“Why does it have to be complicated? We’re together.”
“That’s not enough.” Tears slipped onto my cheeks. “Not if it wouldn’t bother you to fuck someone else.” I stepped away, and he let me go. “You could sleep with someone and not have it mean anything?”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Just tell me the truth.”
“Then yeah. It wouldn’t mean anything.”
“Oh my god. You really don’t get it. Sex means nothing to you.”
He growled and rolled his shoulders. “I didn’t say that. Sex with you means everything because it’s you. You know my body count, and I didn’t have feelings for any of them.”
I wiped tears from my cheek and shook my head. “This is partly my fault.”
“There’s no fight here, McKelle.”
“You’re right. I’m not fighting for a relationship just for you to fuck around on me.” I’d agreed not to use labels, and he’d agreed not to cheat on me. “To be clear. Telling me before you fuck a whore that you’re going to fuck her is still cheating.”
I grabbed my jeans and stepped into them without panties.
Skin was the only thing holding me together as a rush of panic surged through my veins.
This was going to hurt. The cracks were already forming.
He didn’t feel the same about me. Sex didn’t mean anything to him, but he knew what his being with Hayley had done to me.
We’d never fought uglier or made up harder.
“You’re pissed over a conversation.”
“There’s nothing left to say. You’re off the hook because I’m not your girlfriend. Go fuck her. Do your favor, get your patch, and make some money.” I zipped up, snapped the waistband, and flipped my hair from my face. “Just so you know, it goes both ways.”
Since I’d come to the MC on the back of his bike, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get home, but I wasn’t going to stay and bawl in front of him. When it came to Cruz, I never learned. This was us. I should know better. Nothing ever changed.
“Since it isn’t cheating if you know about it, I’m going to fuck Vega.
” I headed toward the door. “He stared at my ass every time I leaned over the table for my shot at pool tonight.” As soon as my fingers touched the doorknob, I glared at Cruz over my shoulder. “Don’t worry. It won’t mean anything.”
I had the door open an inch when Cruz slammed it closed. His body imprisoned me, forcing me against the door. “Not fucking happening.”
“Are you being serious right now?” My words were muffled, and his hot breath was a brand against my neck. With his chest to my back, he kept me pinned to the door.
“You think I’m joking?”
“I think you’re psycho.”
“If I am it’s because you drive me fucking crazy.” His fingers dug into me as he unsnapped my jeans. “No one gets inside this pussy but me.”
One threat, and he’d become unhinged.
“It’s easy to make a promise when you don’t plan to keep it. Here’s mine. I won’t fuck anyone else, either,” I said. The growl of my zipper lowering and a cocktail of lust and anger stripped away my good sense. Stupid girl. “I promise.” There was no hiding the condescending tone in my voice.
“You want to fuck with me?”
“No. I don’t want to fuck with you.” Liar. I buzzed with adrenaline, my nipples ached because they were so tight and pressed against the door. “I want you to know how I feel.”
“I’ve been inside you. I know exactly how you feel.” He shoved my jeans down my hips. I wiggled, helping to lower them to my knees as he kicked my legs apart. With a hard jerk of my hips, he pulled me away from the door. I had to brace outstretched arms on the door to keep from falling forward.
He crammed two fingers inside my soaked pussy. I moaned, arched my back, and my inner walls quivered around his fingers. I couldn’t stop the way he made me feel, the dark pull of his deranged side. I knew my threats would push him, known that he’d want to fight.
“I’m the only one who’s going to know how you feel.” He ripped his fingers from my cunt and shoved his cock deep inside me.
“Cruz,” I spat as he knocked the breath from me with every hard, punishing thrust of his cock. “Condom.”
He braced one arm on the door next to mine and whispered in my ear. “Don’t need one. You’re going to feel me.”
I did. I felt every glorious inch of his cock stretching me. He was so hard and thick, mercilessly driving into me. I rose onto my tiptoes as he speared into me again and again. I clawed at the door, snapping and buzzing with uncontrolled chaotic emotions building inside me.
How could he do this with anyone else? Tears filled my eyes and slipped onto my cheeks as my core contracted against his dick. I turned my head and sank my teeth into his arm to keep from screaming as my body detonated, coming undone in a turbulent rain of tremors and flutters.
He fisted my hair, angled my head back, and licked the wetness from my face. “I’m the only one who gets to make you cry.” His gritty tone rasped over my flesh with a promise of depravity. “I’m the only one fucking you, only me.”
I nodded. He slammed his lips to mine, slid his tongue into my mouth, and kissed me filthy as he thrust his cock hard and deep. My orgasm blended with his. I could feel every hot spurt slicking my channel as he fucked me through his orgasm.
For a moment, he was motionless, still buried inside me. Then he shifted his hips and slipped his cock out of me, leaving a strange hollowness in the carnage of our war. Cum trickled down my thighs. He banded an arm around my shoulders and across my collarbone, and his lips lingered on my temple.
“Why?” I whispered. “Why make me love you when we don’t want the same things?”
“I disagree. If you don’t know, let me make it clear. It’s always you. Every. Fucking. Time.” He turned me in his arms. “You’re mine, and no one else is ever going to touch you.”
“Let me make it clear. If you fuck someone else, you’re never fucking me again. No condom means no one else.”
He nuzzled my neck. “Not a problem. My dick only wants your pussy.”
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be fighting. How can you be possessive over me, not want anyone to touch me, and then stick your dick in someone else?”
“Because when you let someone touch you, it’s because you have feelings for them.” His mouth wreaked havoc on my neck, sending tiny explosions of heat over my skin. “Sex is only sacred when it’s with you.”
I lifted my gaze to his. “Is it always going to be like this?”
“Fuck, I hope so.” He held me close. “Are we good?”
I smiled against his skin, sweetly scented of sex and sweat. I wanted to trust him. I was going to trust him, but I wasn’t just letting it go. “No.”
“I get it, Micki. It was stupid to even consider it.”
“I know you want the patch, but I have to fit into your life, too. Don’t fuck us up.”
“I won’t. I promise.”