Chapter Five #2
She jumped onto a chair to get a higher vantage point.
It also put her directly in my line of sight.
As if she felt my stare, she turned in my direction.
The smile on her face softened. I waved, but she turned away, shifting her focus back to the guy on the bike.
The guy that would take her away from me if I didn’t figure my shit out.
I had a lot of work to do to get us back.
Two sessions later, McKelle’s group took the track.
Ryatt and her dad were in the pit with her.
My girl was badass. Her pearl-white bike shimmered in the sun.
Her white leathers fit her body like a glove, and her racing helmet was covered with white roses and skulls.
Her long braid draped the center of her back.
A surge of adrenaline hit my bloodstream as she came around the backside of the track. Her knee kissed the ground, and her body practically hung off the side of the bike.
Her dad stood on the sideline behind the barricades recording her session. Ryatt stood next to him, but his gaze shifted between me and the track.
“I like your patch.”
I turned to my left and the small voice beside me. “Hey, beautiful.” I might not be into moms and dads, but McKelle’s little sis was awesome. She’d been riding dirt bikes since before she could read.
Cece traced the Heller Raider patch on the back of my vest. “It’s scary. I like it.” She sucked a blue slushie through a straw.
“Thanks.” I tugged on her braid. “You look like your sister with your hair like this.”
“I know.” She slurped more of her drink. “How come she’s mad at you?” She smiled. The drink had turned her teeth and tongue blue.
McKelle rounded the track again. I squinted against the bright sunshine. But that wasn’t the reason for the hard line of my mouth and the pressure behind my eyes. “I hurt her feelings.”
“Did you say sorry?” She tapped her riding boots against the bleacher in front of us.
“I did.” But this time it wasn’t going to be enough. I glared at Ryatt again.
“He’s nice,” she said, leaning forward and waving at Ryatt.
“I’m sure.”
Cece pointed to McKelle as she streaked through the straightaway. Now that McKelle was in her groove, she cornered tight and pushed the limits of her bike.
“Did you tell her I was here?”
Cece hummed a positive. “Yep.” She popped the p.
“And I told her you’d be mad if Ryatt kept staring at her.
I can tell he likes her,” she said with a conspiratorial tone.
“She says they’re just friends. But Bobby Joe said he just wanted to be friends, then he trapped me in the library at school and tried to kiss me. ”
I smiled at Cece. “Want me to beat him up?”
“You could pick me up from school. I’ll tell him you’re my sister’s boyfriend. He’ll be scared.”
“I doubt your mom and dad would be happy with you on the back of my Harley.”
She sighed. “Maybe just drive by at recess.” She lifted a brow. “Or get me a Heller devil patch.”
“They’re a little hard to get.” And harder to keep. My gut clenched when I thought of giving it up after working so hard to earn it. McKelle slowed as she rode into the entrance of the hot pit.
“I gotta go.” Cece jumped to her feet.
I glanced at the track where the first group of riders were filtering back on for their second session. “I’ll walk with you.”
She stayed in step beside me as she bounced down the steps to the pathway leading to the parking lot of popups.
Cece continued to talk to me as we walked. “Maybe McKelle wouldn’t be mad if you got her a present, like a goat. That’s what my dad gets my mom whenever he hurts her feelings.”
“McKelle hates your mom’s goats.”
“Yeah, not a goat. That might make it worse. You could get her name tattooed on your neck.”
I laughed. “I could get it on my heart.”
“Oooh, on the heart. That means love.”
“Yep.”
Cece’s smile widened. She paused at the point where we’d need to part ways. “I’ll tell her you were watching her race, and you thought she was wicked fast. I’ll make it sound good.”
I tugged her braid. “I appreciate you putting in the good word for me.”
She waved as she rushed off. I made my way to my bike. Cece was right about one thing. This time, saying I was sorry wouldn’t be enough.
A couple minutes later, I rode my Harley out of a sea of sportbikes. On my ride back to the MC, I considered my options. The last one hurt just considering how it would feel. I didn’t want to think about giving up the patch, but nothing in my life would be worth shit without McKelle.
It might’ve taken me a while to come to terms with the tightness in my chest, and the possessiveness driving me fucking mad. But my feelings for McKelle ran deep, so fucking deep there was no getting her out of my system. And no way was I okay without her.
I entered the code at the gate of the MC and backed into a spot near the front of the chapel. By tonight, the place would be packed.
Dozer and Tank sat at a table.
“Out flying your colors,” Tank said to me.
I slumped into a chair next to them. “I went out to the track to talk to McKelle.”
Dozer tapped a cigarette from his pack. “Did you work it out?”
“Nah.” I tried to swallow the lump of regrets like a knife to the throat. “I fucked up.”
Tank leaned back, his chair creaking under his weight. “We’ve all been there.”
“I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Are you sure you want to?”
I turned to Dozer. “What the fuck?”
Dozer shrugged. “I’m not judging, but you fucked around on her. She isn’t a Heller whore.” He took a long drag off his cigarette. “You had to know she’d find out.”
“I didn’t fuck Jinx.” I growled and rolled my shoulders. How many times did I need to repeat myself? “I couldn’t get out of it. Bullet needed me in the room.”
Tank shifted his gaze from me to Dozer. “You got lucky,” he said to Dozer.
“Your old lady isn’t like Jazzy and the other girls, but Pippa’s all Heller.
She understands you need to work out your frustrations in the basement.
She understands what being a Heller means for you and for her.
She accepts that she ain’t going to know everything. ”
“But I’m not working for Bullet,” he said. “She doesn’t have to worry if I’m fucking whores.”
Tank leaned forward. “Not anymore, but you gonna break down the shit you’ve done for him and with this club?”
Dozer gave a single shake of his head.
“My old lady did twenty-five years with me. I go away for eighteen months, and she decides she’s done.
” Tank shrugged. “Your mom hated being a military wife,” he said to Dozer.
“She hated the corps. Hated being on her own for six months to a year at a time. She hated the Hellers,” he said to me.
“She said she wasted twenty-five years on me. She isn’t wrong.
I got my kid.” He smiled at Dozer. “But she should’ve walked a long time ago. I’m not going to change.”
I tried to find the lesson in his story.
“Your girl is like my ex-wife,” he said to me. “Faye was never cut out to be an old lady.” Tank stood, went behind the bar, and poured a beer. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t love her. I loved her hard. Still do. But I’m not content being what she needs.” He stuffed a couple bucks in the till.
“McKelle doesn’t hate the Hellers.” Up until I fucked up, she was excited for me to get my patch.
She wanted it for me. Friday nights were ours.
She loved playing pool with the guys. Kiss was her best friend.
Blue was my brother. They’d been to hell for each other. Nothing was taking them out of the MC.
That wasn’t true. If heroin came back into the MC, Blue would leave. He’d leave for her. No question. He’d put her first.
Fuck.
McKelle wasn’t wired like Hana or Jazzy. She wasn’t sweet and quiet like Pippa, and she wasn’t part of the club’s tapestry like Levi. But she belonged here. She belonged with me.
Tank returned to the table. “You’re a Heller. Trouble seems to find us. The MC is always going to come first.”
Dozer shook his head. “Nah. Pip comes first. Every fucking time. You think Blade would fuck around on Hana. Think anyone is getting close to his dick? Never happen. Not only would Torch kick his ass, but Hana would bury her knife in him.”
“This isn’t about pussy,” Tank said. “This is about the MC. You think Rogue is putting Jazzy before his responsibilities to the club?”
Dozer laughed. “He put her on the board so he wouldn’t have to.”
I tipped my head back and closed my eyes while they debated MC relationships. They’d lost the point of the conversation, but who was I to interfere with father/son discussions.
But while I was in my thoughts of McKelle…and her new friend Ryatt, the conversation between Tank and Dozer shifted.
“Blade knows I’ll only need his room for a few weeks,” Tank said.
Tuning back into their conversation, I listened to Tank talk about his job lead.
“Hudson couldn’t give me details.”
“It’s risky. Torch said you don’t want in on this, not with your parole. Too much in the gray.”
“Torch has gotten soft with his old lady. Dozer, I got no reason not to take the job. I’ll meet the boss first. With the way Hudson spoke, his employer isn’t going to care about my criminal background. Good money. Steady work. I can be out of here in a few weeks.”
“Blade hasn’t spent a night in the MC in months, so don’t worry about the room,” Dozer said. Blade and Hana lived with him and Pippa. “But you working for the Brunos is a fast track back to the country club.”
“Nah. I trust Hudson,” Tank said. “This guy needs muscle that understands the importance of keeping their eyes open but their mouths shut. Kodiak is interested.”
If I wanted to get my girl back, I needed a real fucking job. Not scraps from Steele, and tips on Friday nights from my Heller brothers. I leaned forward and rested my forearms on the table. “What kind of work?”