Chapter Six
Cruz
Music filled the chapel. Bikes rumbled in the parking lot, fire popped and crackled in the oil drum, and Torch had the grills going. Another Friday night at the MC.
I had the patch, the brotherhood, but not the girl.
And I was miserable without her. I owed one to Tank.
A favor that wouldn’t get me into more trouble.
He’d provided a distraction to get me through the week.
He’d introduced me to his friend Hudson.
I’d shadow Tank for a few weeks to prove I could handle an assignment in the protection rotation.
Rich fucks, apparently with a lot of enemies.
Luca Bruno made the hair at the nape of my neck tingle. No doubt the guy was into some shady business, but the payoff would get me out of the MC, into my own place. More than that. The shit I’d pulled had hurt McKelle. No more fucking around. And I wasn’t just talking about girls.
It was past time to get my shit together. I needed to be someone she’d be proud to call her boyfriend, before she wanted the crotch rocket rider sitting at the table with Romeo and Dozer.
I stood and walked over to their table. Romeo held his baby girl as she drooled on her tiny fist.
“Are you sweating bullets?” Dozer asked me and laughed. “Dad said the guys you’re working for wear suits like we wear cuts.”
And they were just as deadly. I sat in the chair next to Dozer. “Money is good, and working for a Bruno won’t get me into trouble with McKelle.”
“Have you talked to her?” he asked.
“Just text messages.” She needed space, and it had only been a week. I was trying to give her what she needed.
Romeo’s gaze shifted from me to Ryatt. Ryatt barely shook his head, but the silent communication was there. They were close, the way I was close to Blue and Dozer.
I owed Dozer for bringing me into the MC. I was filling up the ledger with IOUs, but I finally felt like I belonged. The same way I belonged with McKelle. The same way she belonged with me.
Thank fuck I had Blue. Beyond the MC, he was my brother. He’d been there for me this week to keep me from losing my shit.
Blade stood and called for the board meeting.
Jazzy came over to the table. “Give the bean to me. I fought Gabi for her. I won.” She took the baby from Romeo. “Besides, she’s leaving soon with Torch. They’re skipping Chrome for their kink club. She’s a dirty girl,” she sweetly said to the baby.
“Did you forget you’re on the board?” Romeo asked. “We have a meeting.”
“I can multitask.” She carefully placed the baby against her chest.
“My mom will be here in a minute to pick her up,” he said. “She’s keeping her overnight. I’m going to get my girl drunk.”
“Your momma doesn’t get drunk,” Jazzy said in a light teasing tone to the baby. “But she’s a dirty girl too, and your daddy is going to do filthy things to her tonight.”
I hadn’t realized most of the girls weren’t here. Kiss sat with Brenna and Gabi. Pike and Blue played pool.
“The girls want to go to Liquid Chrome,” Dozer said as he stood. “They’re all over at Levi’s pregaming with shots for the night.” He followed Romeo and Jazzy to the boardroom leaving me alone with Ryatt.
Silence stifled the air between us.
“You looked good on the track,” I said.
“Thanks. It was my first time.” He glanced from the boardroom door to the exit. When he turned his head, I glimpsed a faded bruise on his neck. He could’ve gotten it from the track. He could’ve gotten it from someone besides my girl. He’d better have gotten it from someone other than McKelle.
“You’ve been hanging around the MC. Are you thinking about prospecting?”
“I am. I talked to Romeo.” He leaned his forearms on the table. “I can’t make the commitment while I’m on probation. And I need to make sure it’s not going to affect another…situation.”
Yeah, I know you have a situation. You’re going to have another problem if you’re making a play for McKelle.
Another long moment of silence hung between us. Fuck this. “Have you seen her?”
He stared at me across the table. “None of your business.”
At least he wasn’t going to pretend not to know who. “McKelle is my business.”
“I’m not talking about McKelle. I’m not your business.” He scooted his chair back.
I did the same. “The MC has rules about fucking around with another patch’s old lady.”
“Just not fucking around on your old lady?”
Did he just challenge me? “If you prospect for this club, I’ll make your life hell.”
“Pretty sure you’d like to do that anyway.” He pulled his bike keys from his pocket, waved goodbye to Kiss, and headed for the door. I followed. “But I haven’t decided if I’ll prospect. Again—what I do is none of your business.”
When I laughed, he paused in his steps, lifted his middle finger, then he kept on walking. Once on his bike, with his blacked-out helmet covering his eyes, he revved his bike hard, burned a bit of rubber, and ripped out of the parking lot.
I stood around the oil drum for a couple of minutes, listening to Sully, Butch, and Seven. After several minutes of them discussing body parts that ached and getting old, I went back into the MC. While I waited for Romeo, I sent McKelle a text.
Cruz: Can we talk?
McKelle: Yes, but not tonight.
Cruz: I miss you.
McKelle: I miss you, too. I’ll call you tomorrow.
I growled and tossed my phone to the table. If she was with Ryatt, she wasn’t missing me the way I was missing her. I deserved this. I’d hurt her enough times for her to forget my sorry ass.
With the baby asleep in her arms, Jazzy bounced closer.
“Is the board meeting over?” Because I didn’t see Romeo, Dozer, or Blade.
“No. Rosie was fussy, so I stepped out. Your patch looks great. Have you talked to Hana about getting Heller ink?”
I slapped a hand to my chest. “Soon.” I hated the insecurity snaking through my thoughts. I hated that everyone would look at me and know I’d fucked up again. But worse was not knowing if McKelle was with him.
Emotions burned like acid in my throat. I couldn’t look at Jazzy, couldn’t risk seeing condemnation in her eyes. It wasn’t the situation with Bullet and Jinx, but that I’d betrayed my girl. “Do you know?”
“Know what?” she asked.
“Fuck, Jazzy. Rogue and Romeo are family. Romeo and Ryatt seem tight.”
“They are.” She swayed next to me to keep the baby asleep. “Romeo wants to sponsor him.”
I raked my fingers through my hair. “I fucked up. I’m afraid this time she’s not going to forgive and forget.”
“She’s never going to forget. Never. Trust me. On this, I’m an expert. But have you given her a reason to forgive?”
“Until just now, I’ve been lucky that she’d respond to my text messages. We’re going to talk tomorrow. I know she isn’t going to believe anything I have to say. She’s riding with Ryatt. They were at the track together. She has an adrenaline addiction, and he rides a fast bike.”
Jazzy smirked.
“What?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“No, not if you’re going to tell me they’re hooking up.”
“I don’t know if they are.”
“Does Kiss know?”
“You’re not going to interrogate her. Don’t make her betray a friend. The girl is doing great. She’s clean, and you’re not going to fuck with her emotions. If Blue doesn’t kick your ass, I will.” She sat in the chair next to me. “Not that you need to hear this again, but you fucked up.”
“Keep reminding me.” Bury me under the weight of my mistakes.
“You wear the patch now, and that comes with responsibilities to the club. When Ryatt patches into the club, he’ll be your brother.”
A patch required a unanimous vote. He’d never wear the patch as long as I did.
She chuckled. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “You’ll change your mind.”
“You think?”
“I know. Because if you care about McKelle, and if he’s what makes her happy—”
“I make her happy.” The words tasted bitter because they were laced with betrayal because I hurt her first.
“Try being what she needs rather than focusing on what’s good for you.” The baby fussed. Jazzy stood and gently bounced her again. “You can’t fight the past, and you’ll never outrun your fears. Maybe you’re worried that he’ll be good for her, that he’ll be good to her.”
No doubt. He’d take her out, spend time with her family. He’d spend endless hours at the track.
Then he’d be gentle, caressing her soft curves with a tender touch. He’d never leave bruises on her thighs, wouldn’t wrap his fingers around her throat, call her a whore, and force her to choke on his cock.
He might be right for her on paper, but he wouldn’t be enough. Mckelle liked the game. The one she played with me. I leaned forward and braced my elbows on my knees.
“Trust me,” I said. “He looks good, but he’s not her type.”
“They have a lot in common.”
“He won’t give her what she needs.”
Jazzy cocked a brow. “Then maybe she needs you both.”
Share her? I didn’t even want them being friends, but I recognized those were my possessive asshole tendencies.
McKelle wasn’t going to give up sportbikes and the track.
I wouldn’t expect her to. Every guy racing against her wanted to beat her, then fuck her.
Same when she bent over the pool table, took her shot, then took their money.
But she had always been mine. I never worried about those assholes.
Ryatt had me skating the edge of sanity because I was worried. I was worried because I could see the appeal. Ryatt had just enough angst to make him reckless. The guy was sitting on probation. But he made her laugh. She’d been happy at the track. Happy without me.
If he wasn’t trying to take my girl, I might actually like him. I wasn’t going to think about how attractive he was. As if I could forget.
I jostled my knee. I was a liar, a good fucking liar, and I lied to myself the best. Ryatt didn’t deny he’d been with her. He didn’t have to. The silent language between him and Romeo spoke loud enough. Romeo had to know.
Shannon entered the MC. Jazzy left me alone with my thoughts. Regrets cut like a knife to my chest. Maybe I was too late.