Chapter Seven #2
“I need you here because I need you. I told him that I wasn’t going to stop seeing you.”
My heart hammered against my ribs, and my gut clenched. “Then why is he still here?”
“I can’t just turn off my feelings.” She fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “No one understands so I don’t expect you to either. People don’t know him the way I do.” Her gaze lifted to mine. “And I’m not the same with him as I am with you. I don’t think you’d want to know that girl.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“I don’t know. I know that he’s always going to be a part of my life. I’ll understand if you want to walk away. I’m not expecting you to just put up with me seeing him. But I won’t pretend that he’s not important.”
“You can’t have us both.”
“I know.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “He doesn’t make me feel the way you do.”
Then it should have been an easy choice. “How do I make you feel?”
She leaned her head on my shoulder. “I feel beautiful.” She laced her fingers with mine. “I feel wanted. But more than that. When I’m with you, I’m the only one you see.”
I slid my hand onto her hip and tugged her onto my lap. Her arms draped over my shoulders, and her fingers played in the hair at the back of my neck. I gripped her ass and pulled her hard against my dick.
“You’re so fucking beautiful that I can’t stop looking at you.
I’m being completely transparent. You’re all I think about.
But I’m not interested in a hookup. If we’re temporary, I’d rather just stay friends.
I like you.” My lips twitched with a smile.
“I want to fuck you, too. But I don’t want to be in a situationship with you and Cruz.
I’m willing to wait until you sort out your feelings for him. ”
“I know how it feels to be insecure in a relationship,” she said. “It broke me.” She rested her forehead against mine. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” I said. Her eyes said enough. She was torn.
“I don’t want to be just friends.”
“You want to date us both?”
She nodded. “But I’ll understand if you can’t. I know I’m not being fair to either of you.”
“It’s not about being fair. But you need to be honest. Just tell me if you want to keep this casual.” Because someone was going to end up hurt. I had a feeling in my gut it was going to be me. This was risking it all. And I could end up with nothing.
“This doesn’t feel casual.” She held me a little tighter. “I want you in my life. We can promise no matter what happens, not to hate each other.”
“I keep my promises,” I said.
“So do I. Will you kiss me?”
I tilted her head and claimed her lips. Her tongue teased mine. I gripped her ass, rocking into her as I kissed her. The hot, silkiness of her mouth, the soft whimpers, and her hot as fuck tongue piercing had my dick hard and my balls ready to nut.
This girl had me tied up in knots. She was kissing me like she wanted to climb inside me, but I think she just admitted she was back with Cruz. It had been too long since I’d gotten my dick wet, but I wasn’t desperate enough to be on standby in case shit didn’t work out between them.
Or was she choosing me? She was on my lap, grinding down on my dick, and footfalls sounded on the stairs. Cruz was somewhere in the room.
The slap of the minifridge door closing broke us apart. Cruz grabbed a beer, spun off the lid, and leaned against the bar. “Once you’re done using your mouth on my girl, we need to talk.”
She wasn’t only his girl. She was mine, too. What the fuck was I thinking? Another complicated situation. I could walk. I should walk. But I wasn’t going to. She was the only good thing going for me. Her, Romeo, the Hellers. And they were all tangled up with Cruz.
“Are we okay?” she whispered so only I would hear.
No, I wouldn’t say we were okay. But I wasn’t a dick. Did I want her with Cruz? No, but I needed her to be sure I was the one she wanted. “We’re good.”
She slid off my lap, curled into the corner of the couch, and I covered her with the quilt.
“Do you want a drink?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I’m too tired, and I’m still buzzing from Levi’s cherry bombs.”
Cruz sat in the recliner across from us and rolled the beer bottle between his palms. “What happened at Chrome? How are you mixed up with the Kings?”
I went to the fridge and grabbed a soda. “We have a misunderstanding.”
“Ryatt, you’re hanging with my girl. Kings were at Chrome. Were they looking for you? And what would’ve happened if Hellers hadn’t been there? I’m trying not to lose my shit—”
“Cruz—” McKelle interrupted, but Cruz shifted his glare to her.
“Nah. You and I are permanent,” he said to her. “You don’t know him, and until he convinces me he’s not dangerous to you, you’re not riding with him, not on the track, and not on the back of his fucking bike.” He turned to me. “You put her in danger, and I’ll make you disappear.”
“Fuck, dude, do you really think I’d want her anywhere near the Kings? I wouldn’t put Levi or Romeo in that situation either. I’m careful. Chrome isn’t anywhere close to King territory.”
“Not careful enough.”
I had no argument. Tonight had scared me, too.
I returned to the couch and started at the beginning.
“A couple months ago I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and mixed up with the wrong people.” I wasn’t sure how much, if anything, Cruz knew about me.
McKelle wouldn’t be the only thing we had in common.
This sucked. I wanted the life of the man sitting across from me. The club, the girl, the brotherhood.
But without being a douche.
“I caught a drug charge. The DA tried to charge me with trafficking. I had a decent public defender. The overcharge was to get me to take a plea. They threatened me with five years and five thousand in fines. I walked with eighteen months of probation, three months in a halfway house, a thousand in fines, and court-ordered outpatient, drug treatment.”
I leaned back on the couch, and McKelle uncurled until her feet rested against my thigh. She closed her eyes and sighed into the throw pillow under her head.
“Why are the Kings after you?” Cruz asked.
“Because a couple weeks after I got out, there was a raid over in Shady Valley. One of their guys was found dead. A bunch of dealers went down. Kings want the narc, and someone gave them my name.”
Cruz stared at me.
I raked my fingers through my hair, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.
“I swear, dude, I don’t know anything about who turned me in.
I wouldn’t make Kings my enemy. I’d get pills off this guy Sam.
He ended up dead in a bathtub with the shit beat out of him and a lethal dose of heroin pumping through his veins.
I wouldn’t have touched his supply if I’d known he was pushing product for the Kings. You can’t trust them.”
Cruz stood, crossed to the large windows, and stared into the darkness. In the reflection of the glass, I watched his jaw clench, and his brows form a deep V.
“I’m not a narc. The information didn’t come from me.
But I’m on probation, and they got guys looking at twenty to life.
I was strictly recreational weed, and I sometimes popped a couple of blues.
Never enough to get me hooked. I did sell to friends.
I swear, I’m done with it all. I never had a habit, but drugs still fucked up my life. ”
Cruz tipped the beer to his lips and finished it.
“I’ve been laying low. I don’t socialize with anyone at the halfway house. I don’t want to unknowingly meet someone connected to the Kings. I’m doing deliveries on my bike, staying out of King territory, hitting my NA meetings, and seeing my PO on the reg.”
“He’s a pervert.” McKelle entered the conversation. Her eyelids barely parted, and she glanced at Cruz with a sleepy smile. “He’s fascinated with Ryatt’s dick. He likes to watch him pee in a cup.”
Cruz smiled at her. “Do you want me to comment on that?”
“No.” Her feet slid into my lap. “You’ll scare him away.”
“Nah.” He stared at me while speaking to her. “I already threatened him, and he still pursued.”
Their discussion made me uncomfortable. She’d clearly talked about me with Cruz. On one hand, that had to mean she wanted more with me. But he was still here. What the fuck?
Cruz’s focus shifted back to the conversation. “Kings aren’t just going to go away.”
I agreed, but I didn’t have a lot of choice.
“I’m staying away from Washington Street.
Probation has rules. I have to work, or I’m locked up.
I have to pay rent to the halfway house, or I’m locked up.
I have a payment plan with the court for my fines, and I’ll lose my bike if I don’t make the payments to the bank. ”
“You need options.” Cruz went to the fridge for another beer and handed another soda to me. “How long until you can get out of the halfway house?”
“Since my three months are up, my PO could cut me loose.” I rested a hand on McKelle’s leg beneath the quilt.
“I just need somewhere to go. But I don’t have funds for first and last month’s rent, and a security deposit.
That is if I could even afford an apartment.
I’d be better off renting a room somewhere, but I’m coming out of a halfway house.
Landlords don’t love a tenant with a felony drug conviction. ”
“Maybe you could stay here,” McKelle mumbled with a sleepy voice. She pillowed her hands beneath her cheek. Her eyes were still closed. “I can talk to my dad.”
“Nah, fuck that,” Cruz snapped. “It’s enough I’m letting him date you.”
“She doesn’t need your permission,” I said.
Cruz rolled his shoulders. “She made that clear earlier.” He stared at McKelle. “She made a lot of things clear.”
Neither of us spoke. Maybe because neither one of us really wanted to know what we were thinking. Was he losing her? Because I wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to let him go.