Chapter 13
13
ZARA
I slide on the black pair of tights before grabbing the white bra and then the thick knitted turtleneck sweater that fits just a bit past the hem of my tights. I slide on a pair of white socks while the phone rings from beside me on the bed. Sofia’s name pops up with the picture of her and RC, their baby boy, who is named Reed Cooper, but we call him RC. “Hey,” I answer.
“Please, for the love of everything that is golden,” she starts, and I can’t help but laugh at some of her expressions, “tell me you did not, will not, sleep with Gabriel.”
I gasp out in shock. “What?”
“He called me not too long ago and wanted your number.” I close my eyes, and if he was here in front of me, I’d kick him in the shin. She whispers, “Zara.”
I close my eyes. “It’s nothing.”
She immediately groans, “Why? How? He just came to give you a key?”
I try not to laugh at her. “It sort of happened before that.”
“You’ve been there for a week.”
“It happened the first day I got here,” I mumble, hoping she isn’t going to catch it, but she does.
“Shut up.” I can hear her hand hitting some counter. “You are going to need to explain this a little bit more.”
“I got here, and Zoey was all ‘go live your best life,’” I mimic her, “‘go do things you wouldn’t do in New York.’” I roll my eyes. “YOLO at life.” I make up the last bit. “So I went to this bar and well…”
“He was behind the bar.”
“He was, and I was like, damn, he is fine,” I sing, “and then he refused to let me drive home because I was drinking, so he said he would drive me home.”
“And you were going to let a stranger drive you home?” Her tone is telling me that was dumb.
“It’s the South. Everyone knows everyone,” I play it off. “Anyway, you’ll be happy to know he never drove me home.” My voice goes down. “We had sex in the office, and then I sort of—” I think about how to say this. “Left when he was sleeping.”
“Holy shit.”
“Anyway.” I ignore her gasp. “I saw him at the Christmas fair, and he was with his son and…”
“Patricia.” She fills in her name for me, and the back of my neck heats.
“Yeah, and I thought he was married, so again, I got the fuck out of Dodge.” I take a deep inhale. “And then he showed up, and I was like ‘you’re a lying jerk’ and then he was like ‘you left me.’” She groans. “And he made me breakfast and left.”
“He made you breakfast and left.” She repeats the last part. “You are supposed to be there to find yourself again.”
“I came to get away from things.”
“Away from things, not under things,” she hisses.
“I wasn’t always under. I was on top a couple of times,” I snap, and she fake vomits.
“This is going to be so, so bad,” she groans.
“It’s not going to be bad,” I reassure her. “We said we won’t tell anyone.”
“You think no one is going to know?” She laughs. “Everyone is going to know; it’s going to spread like wildfire.”
“It’s not because I know and you know,” I point out, “and Gabriel knows, but no one else knows.” I catch myself. “Zoey knows, but she doesn’t know who, so it’s still just the three of us. We can keep a secret. Don’t give him my number,” I quickly add.
“He knows where you are,” she reminds me, making me ball my fist and punch the sky in frustration.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s done. It’s over. It was one time plus a onetime thing, and it’ll never happen again.”
She laughs but not a real laugh, more of a why-are-you-so-dumb laugh. “If that is what you think, you are barking up the wrong tree.”
“No one is barking, and there is no tree.” I get up. “Now, I’m going to go to the grocery store, and then I’m going to go for a walk.”
“And then do my cousin a little more.” She snickers. “If your brother finds out…”
“No one is going to find out, I promise.” I walk down the stairs. “I pinky swear I will not tell a soul, and I will not do your cousin again.” Even saying the words, I know that it might be a lie. But I’m committed to standing by my word. As long as he doesn’t kiss me, touch me, or look in my direction, I think I’ll be fine.
“I never want to talk about this again,” she scolds. “Now, your nephew is up and thinks my breast should be in his mouth every second he’s awake.”
“Goodbye and kiss the gremlin for me,” I tell her as I hang up, and the minute I do I wish I’d gotten Gabriel’s number to tell him that he is not to come back to this house.
I put on my sneakers, grab the black puffer vest, making sure I have the house key, and pick up my purse and phone. I’m getting into the SUV when the phone rings, and I answer it without checking. “Hello.” I put the phone to my ear, slamming the door shut.
“Zara,” Daniel says, “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“I thought I blocked you,” I reply, putting my head back. “What do you want?”
“We have to talk.”
“Really? I’m pretty sure I said everything I needed to say, and I don’t really care to hear anything you have to say, so I think we are good.”
“Since we are going our separate ways,” he says, his voice low, “either one of us needs to buy the other out of the house or put it on the market.” He trails off. “Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
“Fine, buy me out,” I state.
“What about your furniture?” I close my eyes. “What do you want me to do with that?” I want to say throw it out, but that couch is a great couch, and it took me a year of searching to find it. “I can keep it until after Christmas, and then you have to come and get it.”
I tap the steering wheel. “Fine, but you aren’t there when I come.”
“This is my house, you aren’t going to tell me to be here or not be here,” he says, his tone angry. “You ruined everything.”
“I ruined everything?” I laugh. “Your dick ruined everything. You ruined everything.”
“Whatever. By January second, I want your shit out of my house.”
“It’s not your house yet, dumbass,” I point out, “and until we sign the papers, it’s still half mine.”
“Send me the papers to sign,” he snaps.
“With fucking pleasure,” I retort, hanging up the phone and finally blocking his number. I look over to the forest and get back out of the car, not in the mood to go grocery shopping. Instead, I walk toward the barn. Smelling the fresh air, I calm myself down from the phone call I just had.
I take out my phone, pull up my mother’s name, and send her a text.
Me: Daniel wants to buy me out for the house. Can you please do the paperwork?
She wastes no time answering me back.
Mom: Consider it done.
I put the phone back in my pocket and walk toward the trees, seeing a little trail at the end. I walk into the forest. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the sound of birds flying overhead. Living in the city, it’s full of horns, sirens, and planes landing and taking off. This is so peaceful. The twigs snap underfoot as I move deeper and deeper into the forest. The sound of rustling happens nearby, and I look over to see horses to the right. Stepping out into the clearing and just watching them run by, I’m in awe. I watch them run past me, taking in their beauty. I walk along behind them for I don’t even know how long until I’m standing in a big clearing, and I see three men on horses look back over at me. “Shit,” I mumble to myself when I hear creaking going on behind me.
“You lost, Sweetheart?” I don’t have to turn around to know who that voice belongs to. I close my eyes, taking a deep inhale before turning, and I swear to everything that nothing can prepare me for him right now. He’s on top of the most beautiful black horse I’ve ever seen, wearing jeans and a black thermal shirt with a black jacket on. His eyes are on me, but my eyes go to the cowboy hat on his head. His mouth goes into a grin as I check him out, and my panties instantly get wet.
“Hey.” I turn around to see Casey on his own horse. “Look who is out of the house,” he says, getting off his horse and coming to me. Two horses follow him, with another one in the distance. The rest of the horses that were just running free are in the distance.
“I am,” I reply when he bends to kiss my cheek. “Thought it was a great day to take a walk,” I tell him, “but then I saw the horses running, and I just followed them.”
“Do you ride?” Casey asks me, and I shake my head.
“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten on a horse,” I admit.
“We should get you on one, then.” He smiles at me.
“I got her,” Gabriel says from behind me, and I look over my shoulder. “You can ride with me, and we can get you a horse.”
“I don’t want to be any trouble.” I try to act as normal as possible. If it wasn’t Gabriel, I would probably jump up and down with excitement, but I can’t do that. I can’t show anything.
“No trouble at all, Sweetheart,” he says, and I grit my teeth.
“Do you two know each other?” Casey takes off his gloves and puts them in his back pocket.
“She locked herself out of the house last night,” Gabriel fills him in. “Sofia called me to get her the key. I told her I would make sure she is okay.”
“Is that so?” Casey looks behind him to the other three men.
“Yup,” Gabriel says to him. “Let’s go, daylight is a wasting.” He holds out his gloved hand for me. If I don’t go, his uncle is going to know, and if I do go, he’s going to think I want him—and well—he’s not wrong.
I walk over to him and his horse as he moves his foot out of the stirrup. “Put your right foot in there, hold my hand, and swing your legs when you get up,” he instructs me. “If you can’t do that, we’ll get one of the guys to lift you.”
“I think I can do it,” I tell him, putting my foot in the stirrup as he pulls me up. I grip his jacket as I move side to side, trying not to move.
“Hey, Sweetheart,” he whispers softly, looking into my eyes, “did you miss me?”
I look over my shoulder to see if Casey is near us and almost fall flat on my face, so instead, I worry about keeping my ass on the horse. “You good?” He looks over at me as I grip his jacket in my hands. “Wrap your arms around my waist, Sweetheart,” he urges softly, and when I do, he looks over at Casey. “We’re out,” he says as he moves over to the three guys who are at the end of the clearing. “Hey,” he says to them, and they look over, “this is Zara.” The younger one smirks at me as he chews a piece of hay. “That’s my father.” He points, and I wave at him. He’s so different from Gabriel. Where Gabriel has pitch-black hair, he has blondish-brown hair, but their eyes are the same.
“We met a couple of times,” I tell him, “at the family vacation one year. I’m Matty’s sister.” I smile at him, knowing full well he isn’t going to remember me, especially since there were a million people there.
“How are you doing?” he asks with a big smile. “How long are you here for?”
“Couple of weeks,” I admit and feel Gabriel go stiff in front of me.
“You have to come out to the family barbecue.” He smiles at me. “Let everyone make you feel at home.”
“That sounds like fun,” I lie to him. I mean, it sounds like fun, but now that things went too far with Gabriel and we have to hide it and lie about it, I’m not sure it is going to be as much fun as I say it is.
“I’m taking her riding,” Gabriel tells him. “See you guys later.”
He turns the horse around while the other two shout, “You didn’t even introduce us!” I can’t help but laugh, which makes Gabriel look over his shoulder at me.
“I’d hold on if I were you, Sweetheart,” he advises and kicks the horse. The horse takes off, giving me no choice but to hold on to him. He makes his way back to the forest, following the trail. The wind blows in my hair as he does it, and I close my eyes just taking it in. The way the peace rushes over me almost leaves me breathless. I put my head to the side on his back and just take it all in. Living in the moment, seeing the light from the blue sky trying to peek into the trees but the fullness of the trees keeping it out.
He slows down when we come out of the clearing. “Where are we?” I ask him.
“The barn,” he answers as we make our way over. “We’ll get you saddled up and on a horse, and we’ll go for a ride.”
“I’m not going on a horse by myself!” I shriek. “What if the horse takes off with me on it?” I can just picture me being thrown like a rag doll off the horse and breaking different parts of my body.
He chuckles in front of me, before coming to a stop. “I’m going to get down first and then I’ll help you down.” He lifts himself off the saddle to get off and I pull his jacket back down, stopping him.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I say, freaking out. “Like, what if the horse doesn’t like me and he bucks me off?”
“Chopper would never.” He leans down and pets the side of his neck. “Right, Chop?” He then looks back at me. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” I mumble as he grabs my hands that are on the sides of his jacket, holding on for dear life.
“Got to let me go, Sweetheart.” I open my hands so slow that if the horse moves even one centimeter forward, I’m ready to clutch him in my hands again. In one fluid movement, he’s off the horse but holding on to the reins in his hand. “You okay?” He laughs when I shake my head side to side, not saying a word, but my eyes are on the horse’s head, making sure that he’s not pissed off or spooked.
“I changed my mind,” I admit to him, “I don’t want to go riding.”
“You’ll love it.” He runs his hand up my leg. “Now give me your hand.” He extends his hand to me. “I promise you, Sweetheart, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I don’t know if it’s his smooth voice or the fact it’s the fresh air, but I feel his words in my soul. I turn toward him and he grabs my hips and helps me down. When my feet are on the ground, I smile up at him. “I did it,” I say proudly.
He nods, taking off his cowboy hat and holding it in his hand. “I told you that you were safe with me.” He bends his head a bit, his lips hovering over mine. My palms get all sweaty as I look into his blue eyes. “And I meant it, Sweetheart.”