19. Dakota
My phone rings from beside me as I’m scrolling through pictures from a new designer. Looking down, I see it’s Brittany calling me. “Hey, Brittany,” I answer after two rings.
“Hey, Koda,” Brittany says cheerfully. “How are you?”
“Good, just working.” I lean back in my office chair and look around the room. When I got the job with Zara’s Closet, I worked on the island for most of the day, but after two weeks, I thought I needed a proper office. So here I am in the little office I created right off the main entrance. It’s a room Benji used to use for his own office. Where he would store the jerseys he needed to sign or do video interviews. I swapped out all the dark furniture he had in here and replaced it with everything bright. A white desk replaced the oak one that is now in Eddie’s home, along with the big brown leather chair he sat in. Mine is black with a white fur throw on the back. A vase of pink roses sits at the corner of my desk. Fresh flowers have been a staple in the home lately, especially in my office. The girls have even gone as far as asking me to buy them little vases, and they cut two or three flowers to put in their own rooms.
“I won’t keep you long. I’m just calling because all the wives are going to the game tomorrow night, and then we are going out to the bar.”
I tap the back of the pen on the pad I was writing on as I listen to her. “Before you say no, it’s not a couples thing.” We both laugh. “The whole team is joining us after.”
“Um.” I look out the window at the sun that is shining. “I need to see if I can get a sitter.”
“If you can get a sitter, does that mean you will come?” she asks with hope.
“Sure,” I say. I”m not sure why I’m saying yes, but it’ll be my thing to do for myself this week.
“Yay,” she cheers gleefully. “Perfect, I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
“Sounds good. I’ll let you know if things work out,” I say, disconnecting and then texting the babysitter right away.
Me: Hey, I know it’s last minute, but would you be free tomorrow?
She answers me right away.
Morgan: I am free. What time would you need me there?
Me: Five should be good.
Morgan: See you there.
Me: I’ll order pizza.
Morgan: Sounds good.
After I send her a text, I think for a couple of minutes before I pull up his name.
Me: Are you going to the bar after the game tomorrow?
I know he’s away in Buffalo for a game tonight for two reasons. One, the kids made me make a calendar of the games and put it on the fridge, and two, when he called me yesterday to talk, he was in the hotel room. I didn’t want to call him back, and I definitely wasn’t ready to see him shirtless, but I figured I would bite the bullet. It’s a good thing I did because I found out he didn’t think I was a hussy for what happened. In fact, he lost as much control as I did, and to know I made him do that makes me want to do it over and over again.
My phone beeps with a message.
Christopher: I said I would make an appearance. Why?
I smile when I read his answer.
Me: Brittany just invited me, and I said yes.
Christopher: Cool, I’ll drive you home.
I put my head back and laugh. I’m about to answer him when another one comes in.
Christopher: And if you pull the same stunt you did last week, I’m still showing up at your door.
Me: Message received.
Christopher: Glad we are in the same territory together. I don’t care if that makes no sense, you get it.
Me: I do. Talk later.
Christopher: You bet your ass.
Me: Stop thinking of my ass.
Christopher: I just put on my jock strap and now I’m at half-mast. Do you know how painful this is?
Me: Hahahaha. I’ll stop talking now.
Christopher: Good choice and also thinking of your ass and now other parts of you, which is not good for me.
Me: Then stop talking to me.
Christopher: Never.
I put the phone down, and for the rest of the day, a smile is on my face. I also feel lighter, which is strange but something I’m okay with. The girls and I gather around the television that night to watch the game. We’ve decided to do a picnic and have popcorn and snacks on the floor. The minute that Christopher’s face fills the screen, I smirk. By the end of the second period, both girls are fast asleep on the floor, and it takes everything out of me to get them to bed. I watch the rest of the game in bed, and they end up losing four to two. Turning off the television and lying down, I think about texting him, but I’m not sure if I should.
I mean, we have made it clear that we both want each other, at least naked. But I don’t know if I should text him and say good night or not. I literally spend over an hour thinking about it back and forth when my phone beeps from the bedside table. Reaching out, I grab it and see it’s from Christopher.
Christopher: Just got on the bus. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.
I smile, knowing he’s probably going to get back after three o’clock in the morning, and he’ll still wake up at six to come with the girls to hockey.
Me: I’ll make you coffee. See you tomorrow.
The following morning, I get dressed, and my whole body is a stack of nerves. I don’t know what is going to happen. Does the phone conversation change the way we are with each other? Are we going to be shy toward each other? When we walk out the front door, he’s outside waiting for us, a smile on his face when he sees us, and then he pulls two hats from behind his back and throws them in the air, and they land at Rain’s feet. “That’s for your hat trick,” he says while she bends to pick them up.
“I’m going to hang these in my room,” she informs me.
“Oh, here we go,” I mumble as he opens the back door to let the kids get in.
“Hey,” I say when I get close to him, handing him one of the two cups I’m holding in my hands.
“Hey,” he replies, coming close to me and kissing my cheek, something he’s never done before. “Thank you.” He takes a sip while the girls buckle themselves in.
When he closes the door, he looks at me. “I hope it was okay I kissed your cheek.” He takes another sip. “I figure before they see me stick my tongue down your throat, they should see me kiss your cheek.”
“Good call.” I can’t help but giggle as I get into the driver’s seat.
He doesn’t reach over to hold my hand, and even when we sit next to each other, he doesn’t drape an arm over me or kiss me. But he does look over at me a lot, leaning in, and talking to me about the kids, but then slyly kissing my cheek. He even reaches over a couple of times and squeezes my knee.
When we go out to breakfast, and he sits next to me in the booth, it’s the first time he holds my hand. I mean, not my whole hand. When I put my hand on the bench, he follows suit and his pinky slides with mine. It’s silly that his touch can light me up like it does.
He drops me off with another kiss on the cheek and one for each girl before he heads out to take a nap. I tell the kids I’m going out that night, but I don’t mention the hockey game.
I dress in blue jeans, which I’ve worn before, and I also know that they look fantastic on my ass with a long-sleeved black bodysuit. My hair is loose, and I curl it just a bit, adding a touch of mascara. Instead of sneakers, I opt for black high-heeled booties, putting on my cropped leather jacket to finish the look.
I kiss the kids goodbye when Brittany texts me that she’s on her way. I smile when I get in the car and she says, “Damn, you look hot.”
I laugh while I put on my seat belt. “I feel good today,” I tell her and see her smile get soft. Many people ask me throughout the day how I’m feeling. And I often want to get angry with them and snap, but I’ve learned from the group that not everyone knows how hard it was for me. They only know what I told them or what Benji told them, and it wasn’t much. I put on a farce for everyone, just to make sure I protected him. Something I didn’t even know I was doing. Something I wish I could go back and change, but alas, we are here.
I walk into the suite and say hello to a couple of people while I grab a glass of wine and go and sit down. During the whole game, my stomach was in knots, especially after the game when we walked into the bar that was closed just for the team.
We walk to the bar where I order another glass of wine. A couple of the wives tells stories, and I laugh. My eyes look over to the door every single time it opens, as I try not to draw too much attention to myself. I take a sip of my wine when the door opens, and Cole comes walking in wearing his suit with no tie. Right next to him is Christopher, dressed the same way Cole is, but obviously hotter.
His eyes scan the room as he looks for me, and only when he sees me does he smirk. He walks around Cole, who has stopped right next to the door, when he spots Brittany talking to someone.
It takes him five steps to get to me. “Hey,” he says, putting his arm around my waist and bending to kiss my cheek. The smell of cedarwood makes my mouth water. “You look sexy as hell,” he compliments softly in my ear before letting me go.
“You’re not looking bad yourself.” I look around to see that no one is paying any attention to me. “You hungry?”
“I could eat.” He looks around, spotting a couple of tables open. “You hungry?”
I bring the glass of wine to my mouth. “Not for food.” I can’t help but laugh when I see his eyes go dark.
“Oh, I see how it is.” He nods at me, and if anyone was looking at us, it would be like two friends just chatting away.
“Let’s grab a table.” He puts his hand on my hip and squeezes. I grab my jacket and bag that I put on the top of the bar and follow him to the table. We sit, and it’s just the two of us. “Who’s with the girls?”
“Morgan,” I say, trying not to fall for him even more but probably failing. This man has so many layers to him, I don’t think he’s not going to surprise me. “Good game.”
“Always a good game when you win.” He leans back in his chair but then gets up to shrug off his suit jacket. He sits back down and moves his chair even closer to me. “Did you have fun?”
I put my elbows on the table and interlock my hands. “I did.” I can’t help but smile. “I had a lot of fun.” I tilt my head to the side. “Having more fun now.”
“Are you?” He puts his own elbows on the table.
“Most definitely,” I assure him, and then stop talking when the server comes over, and he orders himself a burger.
He’s about to say something when the chair in front of him is pulled away, and then so is the one next to me. Brittany and Cole join us. Our food arrives, and we laugh and chat the whole time, and finally, when it’s almost midnight, I look over at him. “I should get home.”
“We should also,” Brittany says.
“I’m headed out also. I got her.” He looks at me and pushes back from the table, grabbing his jacket while I grab mine. As we walk to his car, we say goodbye to Brittany and Cole, along with most of the team.
He takes his keys out of his pocket, and the lights on the car blink as it unlocks. He looks around for a couple of seconds before reaching out, and instead of opening the car door for me, he pushes me against it, taking me by surprise. “I’ve waited all fucking night to do this.” His voice comes out thick as his hand flies to my face, and I have no time to prepare for his mouth hitting mine. His tongue slides into my mouth, and the kiss is hot and wet. My hands go to his chest, the kiss making the top of my head tingle to the top of my toes. It’s over faster than I want it to be. “You should get in the car.”
“I would, but you are pressing me against it.” I lean forward and kiss his neck. The action shocks me just as much as him.
“I like your lips on me,” he shares softly, “like you are claiming pieces of me.” He pushes back a bit, leaving me room to step away from the door so he can open it.
I get into the car and watch him walk around to his side of it. He starts the car and puts on his seat belt before making his way to my house. Neither of us really says anything, and when we pull up to the house, I’m nervous yet excited. He gets out of the car and walks me to the door. I have my hand on the door when I turn to him. “You going to stay?”
I can see his eyes change. “Dakota,” he says my name, and it’s almost as if he’s in pain, “I can’t touch you in his house.”
It’s as if he poured ice-cold water on me. Everything I was feeling earlier is gone, and in its place is anger. “Excuse me?” I say, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I didn’t hear it right.
“I want to, God, you know I want to, but I just can’t touch you in his house.”
I swallow down the lump that is now crawling toward my throat. “Fuck you, Christopher,” I snap, shocking him, “this isn’t his house. It’s my house.” I point at myself. “He lost this house the minute he started using drugs instead of coming home to this house.”
I quickly turn and walk into the house, closing the door behind me. The lone tear rolls down my cheek as I walk into the house toward the family room and find Morgan watching a movie, waiting for me. I wipe the tear and put a smile on my face. “Hey,” I say, “was everything okay?”
“Yeah, they went to bed before the second period.” She gets up, and I walk her to the door, holding my breath when she opens it and steps outside. I wait for her to get in her car before I close the door and walk over to the step. I sit down on the step and stupidly wait for him to come back, but after fifteen minutes, I give up. Taking off my shoes and walking upstairs, I go through the motions and try not to think about my heart that hasn’t even healed yet but is broken once again.