Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
Zoey
I stand here in front of him asking, begging him, to tell me to stay. To give me something, anything. My heart beats erratically in my chest, my breathing feels like I’m panting, my stomach feels like it’s in my throat forming a huge ball.
“If you want to go early, you should go.” The words come out of his mouth, and it feels like I’m being crushed. The only thing I can think of is, this is what it’s like to have your heart broken. This is that feeling I’ve never felt before. Either that or I’m having a heart attack.
I straighten my shoulders. “Good,” I say, trying to keep my shit together. “I’ll tell her that I’ll go with her.” I nod, turning and hoping like fuck he calls my name. Every single step I get closer to the door is one step I get farther and farther away from him. I grab the handle of the door, shutting it behind me without looking over to see him.
“Is he free?” Kailyn says to me, and I look at her.
“He’s all yours,” I answer before walking back to my side of the office, where I grab my phone and text Gabriella.
Me: I’m good to go when you are. Even if you want to leave early.
I put my phone down and look at my computer screen, wondering if I’m even going to get any work done. I’m pretty sure the whole office can feel we are fighting, or it might be in my head. Either way, I feel the need to get the fuck out of here, and I’m saved when Gabriella answers me back.
Gabriella: Oh, that’s even better. Romeo just got a plane for noon. Is that too early? Can you make it work? We should land in New York by six thirty, max seven.
Me: That works perfectly for me. I’ll meet you at the airport in about an hour and a half.
Gabriella: Want us to come and get you?
Me: No, I have to swing by home and grab some things, so I’ll just meet you there.
I have never lied to my cousin in my life, except for this moment right here. I’m not going home. I’m going straight to the airport from here because going home will just make it harder for me to leave. Every single minute that goes by I look at his office door, waiting for it to open. Every single time it does, I hold my breath, but then I see it’s always Kailyn coming out to get something at her desk and then going back inside.
I order myself a car, and when it’s five minutes before, I get up and head toward his office. I’m about to knock when Kailyn comes out again. “Hey,” I say, and she closes the door behind her, “is he busy?”
“He just got on the phone with his father and brother,” she replies, her body shielding the door. “He asked not to be disturbed.” I smile at her, and she must think I’m going to turn around and walk away, but I’m pissed at all the things today, so I fold my arms over my chest.
“I’ll take my chances.” I reach over her shoulder and knock on the door. “If you’ll excuse me.” I wait for her to move away from the door, and she just smirks at me as she saunters away.
I turn the door handle, suddenly nervous he’ll be pissed I’m interrupting him, so I just stick my head in. He looks up from his computer. “Sorry, I know you told Kailyn you don’t want to be disturbed”—his eyebrows pinch together—“but I’m heading out and just wanted you to know.”
“I’ll call you back,” he says immediately to the screen and closes the top of the computer before getting up. “What do you mean you’re heading out now?” He walks around the desk.
I walk into the room. “Gabriella got an earlier flight so—” I stop when I’m standing in front of him. “And the car will be here in a couple of minutes.”
“You ordered yourself a car?” he asks, looking out the window at the parking lot.
“I didn’t want to inconvenience you,” I explain nervously. “You have a busy day, and you worked late last night.” I try to make it sound like it’s no big deal. “I’ll call you once I land,” I say softly and take a step to him, leaning in for a kiss. I kiss him softly on the lips as my heart crushes even more when his phone rings, and he looks back at his desk to where the phone is ringing. “I’ll let you get back to work.” I smile at him or at least I hope it is seen as a smile and not as a broken fucking smile.
Again, when I walk out of the room, I’m expecting him to call my name. Even when I grab my bag and start heading for the door, I look into his office as he’s on the phone at the same time typing frantically on his laptop. I hold up my hand one last time before walking out.
My head is down as I make my way to the car. I give myself a minute to let one tear fall out of the corner of my eye before I hold my thumb to it to stop it from falling down my face, as I quickly blink my eyes and take a deep inhale. “Hi,” I tell the driver, putting my bag to the side of me. “How are you doing?” The driver tells me he’s doing fine as he pulls away from the building.
My head is scrambling around and around, wondering when it all fucking fell apart. Maybe it was always going to fall apart. Maybe there were signs I didn’t see. I have no idea. I know I can’t take long to dwell on it because Gabriella will see right through my bullshit, and I’m still trying to figure it out myself and don’t need the outside noise.
When I get to the airport, I see I’m right behind Gabriella and Romeo. I open the door and step out. “Well, fancy meeting you here,” I tease, grabbing my bag before thanking the driver.
“You didn’t change at home?” Gabriella asks me when I walk toward her.
“Stuff came up last minute, so I came straight from the office.” I avoid looking at her, instead walking over to Romeo to kiss him on the cheek. “Hey, Mr. Royalty,” I tease him, and he rolls his eyes.
“That’s my father,” he jokes back, “I’m Jr. Royalty.” He grabs Gabriella’s hand as we walk toward the plane.
“I’m surprised Nash didn’t join us,” Gabriella says.
“He had two huge meetings. He might come down next week.” Another fucking lie, and I make a mental note to remember it. There is a reason one shouldn’t lie, and that’s because it’s hard to fucking keep track of them.
Romeo stands by the stairs of the plane, letting Gabriella go up first and then holding out his hand to tell me to go ahead of him. I smile at him, walking into the plane and heading to the left side where there is only one chair, instead of the seat next to Gabriella.
As soon as the plane takes off, Gabriella turns toward me in her seat. “So how is married life treating you?”
I put my eyes to the corner and pretend I’m in wedded bliss. I mean it’s not a lie since I was in fucking wedded bliss. “Amazing. I didn’t think I could just slide into it, but it’s been so much fun. And he bought me a cat.”
“He bought you a car?” Romeo asks me, thinking he heard wrong.
“No.” I shake my head. “A cat with a t.” I take out my phone and turn it toward them so they can see her. I was with her for a day, and I took about fifty pictures of her.
“She looks like a snowball,” Gabriella notes, and I smile, looking down at the picture, swiping left until I get to the last picture we took right before we left for the dinner. Standing in front of the mirror in the closet, he pulled me to him as he kissed my temple, right before he told me he was going to fuck the shit out of me when we got back home. Which made me burst out laughing.
“I guess it’s not all amazing, then.” Gabriella shocks me with her words. “Your face went from fake smile to sad in the matter of ten seconds.” I shrug. “So you’re hiding something.”
“Not hiding anything,” I tell her honestly. “I’m just working something out in my head.”
“Do you need to talk it out?” she asks me.
“Gabriella, leave her alone. If she wanted to talk it out, she would have talked it out,” Romeo says to her while he’s typing away on his phone.
“Did I ask you to join this conversation, Romeo?” She glares at him as she hisses, “I don’t think I did, so why don’t you mind your business and leave this conversation”—she points at her and me—“to us.”
Romeo turns in his seat, and I have to bite my lip not to laugh at the way he’s unfazed by her warning. “Did it sound like I wanted you to join the conversation?”
“Who’s hungry?” I ask, trying to cut through the tension. “I’m starving. I didn’t eat anything.”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” Gabriella scolds me. “I’m the queen of hiding how I feel.” I don’t have a chance to answer her because the flight attendant comes over with bottles of water for us. “So what do you think is going on with Zara?” she asks me, and I look over at her. “Is she ever getting married?”
“I asked her the same thing.” I’m thankful to change the subject, and by the time we land, I’m so tired I feel like I could fall asleep on my feet.
Two cars are there, and when I kiss them goodbye, I get into my car and head toward my house. I look out the window at the familiar sights before me, expecting to feel glad that I’m home. Even when I spot the brownstone, and I get out carrying my bag, I’m expecting to feel relief that I’m here. This is my home, after all. Walking into the house, it feels so stuffy from being closed up.
I put my bag on the side table before kicking off my heels and walking toward the kitchen. I see a stack of mail on the counter before grabbing a bottle of water and walking upstairs to change. Even when I walk into my bedroom, it feels cold and not homey like it once did. I slip on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before going back downstairs to figure out dinner.
Grabbing my phone at the front door, I call Nash even though I have to wonder if he even cares that I’ve landed. It rings four times before going to voicemail, and instead of leaving a message, I just hang up.
I pull up his name and text him.
Me: Landed.
But before I press send, I delete it and close it. I open the fridge, seeing that all there is are things to drink, so I pull up the order app. I’m scrolling to see what to order when the phone rings in my hand, and I see it’s Nash.
“Hey,” I answer the phone, pretending I’m fine and that everything is okay.
“Hey,” he says and I hear a door shut on his side, and I wonder if he’s just getting home. “You just got in?”
“Yeah, not too long ago. I was going to order something to eat.” Even this conversation feels forced. “What are you going to do?” I close my eyes, trying to pretend I don’t miss him, but not being able to hug and kiss him has pushed me to the edge, and I’m about to jump fucking over.
“Not sure yet,” he replies.
“I think we need to talk when I come back,” I say the words I’ve wanted to say since last night after I said the words I’ve regretted since.
“I think we need to talk also,” he finally agrees. “There are things that need to be said.”
“I agree,” I say, nervous and wishing we could just hash it out now instead of prolonging this shit.
“Do you know when you’re coming back?” he asks me, his voice soft.
I’m about to answer him when the doorbell rings. I get off my stool, walking over to the door. “I think I’ll be back by next week, just not sure of the date yet.” I don’t even bring up we were supposed to have dinner with his parents on Monday, wondering if he told them I came without him. “I will know more by Tuesday.” I unlock the door and open it and stand here staring in shock.
I see him standing there, looking like he’s run his hand through his hair for hours, wearing exactly what he was wearing at the office. His phone is in one hand and a green case in the other hand. “You forgot your cat.”