Meant for Now

18. Frankie

EIGHTEEN

Frankie

My entire body shuddered as soon as I took a sip of the spiked hot chocolate. I clutched my to-go cup with both hands, the sleeves of my sweatshirt pulled up all the way to my fingertips.

“This is perfect,” I said.

“How can you even drink that? It’s too warm. I’m sweating.” Mattie fanned herself as we walked carefully along the bottom of the ski hill. All of the snow had either melted or turned to slush at this point.

She had a point about the sweating. It was only forty-something degrees, but the sun beat down with a relentless intensity. I’d left my jacket inside where Mattie and I had secured a table. It was finally closing day, which everyone had neglected to inform me was basically a giant party.

“Remind me again what we’re out here to watch?” I asked as I stepped over a particularly large puddle.

“The closing competition. It’s for fun. All the workers pile up the snow at the bottom of the main run and make a little terrain park. They all take turns going down it and showing off. See? They’re lining up over there.” Mattie pointed to the base of the ski hill where a few young guys were shirtless, wearing only bathing suit bottoms and snowboard boots.

“Um. Why are they half naked?” I asked.

“Everyone wears crazy outfits. Today is just a big excuse to party. There’s live music and food trucks.”

“Any good bands?” I asked.

“A few smaller ones, and then The Wedding Band is playing later tonight.”

“Oh, I love them,” I said as Mattie linked her arm through mine and pulled me toward an area where spectators had started to gather.

I hadn’t been back here since my failed attempt at snowboarding, despite Oliver begging me to give it one last try a few nights ago when I was staying over at his place. After a while, I had jokingly suggested that maybe next year, I’d give it another go. But as soon as I said it, Oliver’s smile faltered. I’d meant it to be lighthearted, but the unspoken thought that crossed both our minds was impossible to ignore.

By next year, we’d likely be strangers.

“Do you see the guys?” I asked, turning to search for Oliver.

“They’re probably taking practice runs or waiting at the top,” Mattie said, squinting to catch sight of her husband.

We positioned ourselves toward the side of the crowd, where we had a clear visual of the course. There were a few jumps, some bars placed into the side of the snowy hill, and a few other obstacles. I tried to imagine Oliver snowboarding down. I knew he must be pretty good, but I still couldn’t picture him doing all this.

There were a few snowboarders and skiers at the top of the hill. I squinted to see if I could make him out. Before I could distinguish any faces, a strong arm wrapped around my waist and I squealed on instinct. I’d recognize the feel of him anywhere.

“Oliver!” I swatted his chest, but he still had me pinned against him.

“Hi.” He grinned down at me before kissing me.

My whole body warmed at his touch. Typically, I had never been one for public displays of affection. But Oliver grabbing and kissing me, without a care in the world, had an excited bubble forming in my chest that was threatening to burst.

Oliver wore a tie-dye T-shirt and black sweatpants. Something about the way his shirt strained against his bare biceps while he still had on mittens, a helmet, and snowboarding boots really did it for me.

“Nice outfit,” I said.

“Wore it just for you,” he replied with a wink.

“Have you seen Giles?” Mattie asked.

Oliver pointed in the direction of the hill. “He’s already up top helping everyone get organized. I think we’re supposed to be starting soon.” He slung his arm across my shoulders and pulled me into his side as he spoke. Mattie raised an eyebrow as she took in the easy gesture.

“Shouldn’t you be up there?” I asked.

“Heading up now.” Oliver grinned before giving me one last squeeze and backing away. He saluted with one hand and carried his board with the other. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck!” we both called.

As Oliver disappeared into the crowd, I looked back to my sister.

“I’d yell break a leg, but that feels too on the nose for this,” I said.

Mattie didn’t say anything but she studied my face, clearly chewing on a thought or two .

“What?” I sighed, meeting her gaze.

She tilted her head, looking like a detective searching for clues.

“ What ?” I repeated when she continued to stare and not say anything.

“You and Oliver are really…close.”

“Obviously.” I rolled my eyes.

“You’ve spent the night there almost every night this week,” she pointed out as if I didn’t already know where I’d been spending my time.

“Your point?”

“I’m surprised is all.”

My eyes scanned the hill, waiting to see Oliver pop up at the top in his bright shirt. “You were the one who encouraged me to have a fling,” I said, glancing back at her.

She shrugged, biting her bottom lip. “I don’t know. It feels like more than that. You two spend every spare minute together. And now you’re sleeping together.”

“Mattie,” I scolded. “Not so loud.” I jerked my head around but no one was looking at us or cared the slightest about our conversation. In fact, the crowd was getting quite rowdy at this point.

“Are you sure it’s just a fling?” she pressed, as we both watched the first snowboarder take their place at the top of the course. I could see Giles and Oliver now, standing off to the side, waiting.

“Of course. What do you mean?” I asked.

“It’s just…I’ve never seen you like this with a guy.”

“That’s because I’ve hardly dated,” I pointed out.

“You’ve never really shown interest before,” she agreed. “But you seem interested now.”

My jaw clenched. Of course, my hopeless romantic of a sister was reading too much into the situation with Oliver. And it wasn’t like I was blind to what he was doing to me. Every night, as I fell asleep wrapped in his arms, it became harder and harder to imagine letting him go. But that didn’t make things between us any less temporary. We were never meant to be. He was destined for a life like this, while I was supposed to be climbing the corporate ladder in some big city. Lately, though, it was getting harder to remember that version of my future.

Oliver and I were choosing to ignore our imminent ending. For now, we were both here, and we might as well make the most of it. I still wasn’t much closer to landing a job. I’d faced a few more rejections, but recently, I’d also had a couple of promising interviews that gave me at least a little hope. I had started to think that maybe fate was playing a role in all of my rejections. And even though Oliver’s season as a snowboard instructor had ended, he hadn’t mentioned leaving yet. He hadn’t said the words outright, but I was almost certain he planned to stick around Key Ridge. At least for a little longer.

“Look, Mattie. I do like him,” I said. “He’s exciting to be around. I enjoy his company. But that’s it. I’m leaving soon, and he probably is too. We’re like two ships passing in the night.”

“Really? Because to me it seems like your ships are docked in the harbor and about to settle in.” She had the nerve to wink at me. “You’ve been obsessing about your career less and less. I’ve barely heard you talk about interviews all week. Do you even really want another corporate job anymore?”

“Of course I do!” My mouth fell open before I snapped it shut.

Cheers from the crowd interrupted us as the first snowboarder launched himself onto the course, hitting a jump and lifting the tip of his board .

I raised my voice to combat the noise. “I’m really excited about that position I just interviewed for in New York. It’s perfect for me.” I was referring to the phone screening I’d had earlier this week. The company was in demand, and I knew there would be stiff competition, but it was the first role I’d interviewed for since I got here that actually seemed like a solid move.

“Is it perfect? Or is it just available?”

Her disbelief irritated me. “It’s a level up from where I was before. It’s a pay raise. And I’d get to live in New York freaking City. It’s a dream.”

Mattie chewed on her bottom lip. I could see the flash of disappointment in her eyes. She’d always been the one that dreamed of a fairy tale ending—the one where the girl rode off into the sunset with Prince Charming. I’d been the one who dreamed of a career—of moving up the corporate ladder. I wanted the first word that people thought of when they met me to be successful or ambitious .

Mattie would give anything to see my love story unfold before her eyes. She wanted me to settle down with someone, like she had. She imagined a future where our families lived nearby, or at the very least, shared an annual tradition of taking trips together. But that wasn’t the life I envisioned for myself. Marriage was never something I’d considered, let alone dreamed about.

“You’re right, sorry. It sounds like an amazing opportunity,” she finally said.

“It is,” I insisted, ignoring the pit that had started to hollow itself inside my stomach.

“Oh look, it’s Giles about to drop in.” She pointed excitedly as her husband pushed forward onto the course. The whole crowd erupted in cheers. He was a bit of a town celebrity given the fact that he’d done this professionally for so many years before moving back.

Giles hit the first jump and threw a back flip like it was nothing. He landed and grinded along a pipe with ease before popping off. The crowd whistled their approval.

“Damn!” I nudged Mattie. “Did you know your husband was this good?”

She shot me a smile before turning back toward the mountain, beaming as she watched him. “Go Giles!”

I joined in her cheering as he made quick, effortless work of the rest of the course. When he got to the bottom, he stopped, spraying the slushy snow.

Mattie and I clapped and cheered along with everyone else. He unstrapped and walked over to us, tugging the bandana that covered his face down so he could walk straight to Mattie and kiss her.

“Nice one,” she said, beaming up at him.

“Love you,” he said back, pressing his forehead to hers.

Something inside me splintered a little watching them together. That was a new feeling. I typically loved being a fly on the wall, able to witness how absurdly in love these two were. But something about watching them now made me feel a little despondent.

“Oliver’s going.” Mattie caught my attention and tilted her head to the course.

I lifted my gaze to watch as Oliver waved at the crowd, lifting his arms a few times in order to pump everyone up. It worked. He tipped his board forward and dropped into the course.

He hit the first jump and my jaw nearly hit the floor when he spun in a full three-hundred-sixty-degree turn. The crowd ate it up as he moved onto one of the rails. He landed on it, but jumped off halfway, getting air and grabbing the edge of his board in the process.

“Shit, I didn’t know he was that good,” I hissed, looking on with awe as Oliver executed yet another trick.

When he made it to the bottom, he stopped even closer to the crowd than Giles had, spraying them with snow in the process. Instead of being annoyed, everyone cheered even louder.

He took off his board and lifted it in the air, pumping his arms a few times.

Mattie and I screamed in support as he sauntered over to us.

“Nice one, Ollie. You killed that,” Giles said, holding out his fist for Oliver to bump.

“Seriously,” I added. “I had no idea you could do that.”

“You thought my skills were limited to what you saw those two hours we spent on the bunny hill together?” he teased, setting his board down on the snow and pulling me into his side. I loved that about him. So quick to always tether himself to me whenever we were in each other’s vicinity. It made me feel wanted in ways I’d never felt before. More than just physically or sexually. Wanted in every way.

“No. I just didn’t know you could do all that.” I gestured to the course, where a skier was now taking a turn hitting the obstacles. “You really undersold your skills.”

He chuckled and ran a hand through his tussled hair. “I didn’t undersell anything. You’re just not easily impressed.”

“False. I was very easily impressed just now.”

He smirked. “That’s because the tricks I did weren’t easy at all.”

I shrugged and pretended to be blasé. “I mean, they were okay. Not as good as Giles but?—”

A squeal escaped me as Oliver tickled my sides .

“You done talking shit?” he teased, but I couldn’t even respond due to being breathless from laughter.

“You could have gone pro if you wanted to,” Giles chimed in.

“I don’t have the commitment,” Oliver joked.

My smile faded a little at his words. Mattie clocked it immediately and tilted her head. We shared a look, but I brushed it off and returned my attention to Oliver.

It didn’t matter if he couldn’t commit to anything. I didn’t need him to. This was only temporary and I was absolutely and completely fine with that.

“I can’t,” I insisted, shaking my head at a very excited-looking Oliver.

“You have to.” He pulled on my hand and forced me to take hold of the end of the ski.

“This is going to go all over my face,” I insisted, looking down at the shot glass glued to an old ski.

“It’s tradition,” Oliver said.

“Is it?” I looked at Mattie skeptically, but she was already holding on to the middle of the ski and shrugging her shoulders in defeat.

“I mean, people do them all the time,” she admitted.

“Have you?”

Giles chuckled. “Your sister has lived here almost three years now and has never done a shotski.”

“Leave it to Oliver to convince her,” I mumbled, begrudgingly taking the ski.

Oliver’s smile was too big to turn down. It was like telling the cutest puppy in the world that you weren’t going to take them for a walk .

“Alright,” Oliver called, sliding in next to me. “Pour it.”

The bartender came around from behind the bar and poured a clear liquid into the glasses that I hoped was tequila, but feared was vodka.

Oliver and Giles stood at either end of the ski and crouched down so that they wouldn’t tower over Mattie and me as the bartender counted down from three.

“Three, two, one,” she called.

We all tipped the ski toward our mouths. The shot glass made contact with my lips, and I held my breath as I downed whatever it was. Thankfully, the pleasant taste of peppermint infiltrated my senses, and warmth flooded my chest.

“Again?” Oliver asked.

“No!” I called over the loud music.

The chairlifts had shut down, and Key Ridge Ski Resort was officially closed for the season. The crowd, and anyone skiing or boarding today, had migrated from the mountain to the party at the base of the hill. Live music blared through the speakers. We’d stayed by the stage to watch the band for a little, but the crowd had gotten too large. Even though the sun had dipped behind the mountain and there was now a definite chill in the air, people remained outside, not caring in the slightest. I suspected the layer of liquor and beer most people were wearing had something to do with it.

Oliver spun me around, pulling me toward him to dance when the band started to play a more upbeat song. I tried to remember the last time I’d had this much fun and came up completely short.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “You look beautiful.”

My cheeks instantly flushed and I shook my head on instinct. “I look like a mess,” I corrected, knowing my nose was red from the sun and my hair was starting to frizz .

“A beautiful mess,” he said, before stealing a quick kiss.

My heart leapt into my throat in a sensation that could only be described as giddy.

“Get a room, you two,” Mattie called, tucking her way through a group of people and joining us.

“Not a bad idea.” Oliver winked down at me.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I instantly recognized the New York area code.

“I have to take this.” I barely got the words out before I was pushing past people, trying to get far away from the music so I could hear the phone call. Maybe I should let it go to voicemail. I was likely a little too buzzed to be taking a professional call right now, but I was anticipating this news way too much to not take it.

Once I was through the crowd, I sprinted for a few seconds until the loud bass of the music was just background noise. Finally, I pressed the green answer button.

“Hello, this is Frankie,” I panted, before covering the speaker by my mouth and taking a few deep breaths to steady my voice.

“Frankie? This is Neil, the hiring manager for the Director of Marketing position at Weilman and Partners.”

My heart went into overdrive.

“Yes, of course,” I said. “How are you?”

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I whipped around to see a concerned-looking Oliver racing after me. I held my hand up to my lips and he halted, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.

“I’m great. Listen, I really enjoyed our interview the other day, and I’d love for you to move on in the process.”

Before he even finished the words, I started jumping in the air and pumping my fist in a silent celebration. A grin and an even more confused expression appeared on Oliver’s face .

“That would be amazing, Neil. I’m really excited about this position.”

“Perfect. Listen, I can’t say too much because it’s so early, but I think you’d be a great fit. You’ve got the exact experience we’re looking for, and it’s clear from talking with you that you know what initiative and hard work entails.”

“I definitely do,” I assured him.

“I want to be completely transparent; our hiring process is a bit extensive. We have a few interviews with the team, then an interview with executives, and a final case study presentation. We’re hoping to complete the process and make an offer in four to six weeks. I know that’s lengthy, but we’ve found it results in the best retention.”

“That timeline works for me,” I said, although if I was being honest, I would have said nearly any timeline worked for me. I was past the point of desperation.

“Great. I’ll email you with the schedules early next week and you can select your next interview times.”

“Sounds good. Thank you.”

“Thanks, Frankie. I’ve got a good feeling about this. I’m excited for you to meet the rest of the team.”

I said goodbye and hung up before reaching out and grabbing Oliver’s arms. I shook them and let out an excited squeal.

His smile widened, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “What was that all about?” he asked.

“I nailed my last interview and I just found out I’m moving along in the process. And this job is, like, perfect. More than I thought I’d ever find. It was starting to feel hopeless. I thought I might have to take an entry level somewhere or something.”

“That’s great,” he said, tugging me toward him and giving me a hug. “Congrats, Frankie.” He said the words into the top of my head .

I buried my face in his chest and lost myself for a second in how good his arms felt encircling me. When he pulled away, I stared up at him, memorizing the way the skin around his brown eyes crinkled and the way the corners of his lips always curled up.

Looking into Oliver’s eyes had me falling from cloud nine where I’d just been floating. On the surface, he looked happy for me. But I knew better now. There was way more to Oliver than just the surface.

“So you like got the job or…” His words trailed off as he waited for clarification.

“No, nothing like that. Sorry, I just got excited.” My voice wavered. “I still have more interviews to get through.”

“It’ll take a while?” Oliver confirmed, carefully brushing my cheek.

“Four to six weeks,” I clarified.

He paused, his eyes scanning my face. “You’ll be here at least another month?”

His words tugged at my heart. “I mean, there’s no guarantee I get this job. It’s so competitive and?—”

“At least another month,” he repeated, his eyes darkening.

“At least,” I said, feeling deflated it wasn’t longer. I should be glowing at the thought of landing that job, but leaving Key Ridge was the last thing I wanted to think about right now. “What about you?” I asked quietly. “The season is over and?—”

“I’ll be here if you are,” he said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. The force of his gaze made me shiver, but as abruptly as it had arrived, it vanished. He threw on an easygoing smile again. “I’m going to hang around the lodge a little longer. Giles said there might be something for me to do. An old friend called me yesterday. He said I could work for him as a rafting guide this summer, but that doesn’t start until June. ”

Even though I had every intention of getting this job and not being here come June, hearing him say it out loud hollowed out my chest. Like all of my energy was being removed all at once with an excavator.

“That’s awesome.” I tried to sound cheery, but the way Oliver dipped his chin to assess me told me I was likely failing.

“Is it?” he asked.

“Yep. I mean, it isn’t a permanent plan or anything, but maybe you’re meant to wander. Maybe that’s what this season of your life is for.”

I wished I could tell him to wander on over to New York, or wherever I’d end up, but I knew that was a ridiculous notion. We’d hardly started something. Plus, a guy like Oliver—all adventure and rugged and outdoorsy—being in a big city like New York? I couldn’t picture it at all.

“Permanent isn’t really my thing,” he joked.

I laughed off his comment as we headed back to the party.

Despite the fact that I should’ve been celebrating the news of landing another interview, all I could focus on were his words. They weren’t anything new, but twice tonight, he’d emphasized how he didn’t do commitment or permanence.

I knew it made absolutely zero sense, but I found myself starting to wish that I could be his exception.