25. Frankie
TWENTY-FIVE
Frankie
“What do I do with this pole?” I held up the long stick that kept collapsing and let out a frustrated huff. “It won’t stay straight.”
“It will if you use it right,” Mattie insisted.
She and Giles had already assembled their tent with ease, while I was left struggling to get mine to cooperate.
The campsite was made for groups so it was large. It was grassy and overlooked the mountains; some in the distance still had snow on the peaks. There were grills and firepits. It was still early in the season so only one other group of a few girls was here. We’d said friendly hellos when we’d first pulled in.
Mattie, Giles, and I had beaten Oliver’s car, although they probably weren’t too far behind us.
“I’m doing everything in my power to make it bend like you said and I swear it’s broken,” I insisted.
Giles let out a clipped breath. “I’ve used that tent a thousand times. I can promise you, it’s user error.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t appreciate your insinuation. I’m very capable of figuring things out. ”
“Just not this?” Mattie challenged.
“It’s broken,” I insisted, waving it around.
Giles sighed and stood up from his crouched position where he was nailing a stake into the ground to secure their tent. He brushed off his pants and sauntered toward me. He took the offending pole in question from my hands and made a quick snapping motion. The pole’s pieces came together so that it was in one long, uninterrupted line.
“Give me the tent.” He held out his hand. “You thread it through the top.”
“I almost had it,” I said, fighting back a laugh. I knew I was bad at this, but I was also just as stubborn as I was indoorsy. Admitting I couldn’t do something was hard for me, even if it was so obviously true.
“Let Giles make your tent and you can help me with the sleeping pads.” Mattie waved me over, and I left her husband to finish assembling my tent.
I hated the idea of sleeping on the ground like this. Honestly, I was kind of kicking myself for insisting I’d sleep on my own. All I really wanted was to be next to Oliver. Especially with the threat of a bear or some wild animal ripping me to shreds out here.
“What’s up with that?” Mattie whispered once I was by their tent.
“It really wasn’t working?—”
“Not that,” she hissed. “The fact that you’re setting up your own tent. Why aren’t you sharing with Oliver? Are you two fighting? You’ve been sleeping at our house a lot this week?—”
“We aren’t fighting,” I interrupted.
Guilt trickled in. I was pushing him away and it was obvious to everyone around me. Including him. I had seen it in the look he gave me when I left his apartment this morning. Not wanting him to tell his friends about me was the lamest excuse in the book. The worst part of it was that none of it was making me feel any better. Every night I spent away from him left me feeling achingly empty, and this weekend was about to be no different.
“Then what’s going on?” Mattie pressed.
“I’m probably going to get that job,” I blurted out. Normally, I wouldn’t say that out loud, but I could feel it with every fiber of my being. When you knew something was going well, you knew, and I just had that feeling. The hiring manager had even let it slip this week that I was their favorite candidate. It was almost like it was mine to lose.
“Okay,” she said flatly, waiting for me to continue.
“If I spend more time with him, I’ll get more attached and where is the benefit in that? It’s just going to make the inevitable harder.”
Mattie scowled before rolling her eyes, making her thoughts on my handling of this situation very clear. “Then why don’t you cut him off now? Stop talking to him if you’re so worried about that.”
“No,” I said, gulping audibly. I hated the sound of that. It wasn’t even bearable.
Mattie shook her head. “Then what’s the alternative? This weird limbo where you push him away but still stay just within reach? That sounds cruel, especially if you haven’t told him that’s what’s going on, which, judging by your guilt-ridden face, you haven’t.”
My eyes cast down to the deflated orange sleeping pad. “I know,” I whispered.
Mattie stood up and brushed away a few small pebbles that were stuck to the knees of her leggings. “Stop being a jerk. Either let him go now, or enjoy him while he’s here. Don’t have one foot out the door already.” She snapped her fingers, and I glanced up. “Or, even better idea, you could stop lying to yourself and realize that you’re falling for this guy. Hard.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Not helping.”
She shrugged and backed away toward her husband, who was almost done assembling the tent in a matter of minutes. “Just because it’s not what you want to hear, doesn’t mean it’s not helpful.”
My cheeks burned as I was left there to blow up the three sleeping pads by myself. She was right, of course, but that didn’t make it easier to hear. I was being selfish. Especially considering I was the one always encouraging Oliver to talk to me—to get past the surface level. Now here I was, closing off. It wasn’t fair.
Thinking about his face from this morning, when I’d asked him not to tell his friends about us, made me queasy. He’d mentioned how excited he was for me to meet them multiple times. It was like bursting a bubble.
Before I could dwell on it too much, another car pulled into our camping site.
Nerves flew around my stomach as Oliver stepped out of the driver side door and lifted his arms overhead to stretch. His long-sleeve T-shirt rode up slightly, revealing his lower abs. The same ones I had traced in bed. Running up to him and throwing my arms around his neck sounded like the most natural thing in the world. Instead, I sat frozen.
The other passengers spilled out of the car.
First was a serious-looking guy covered in tattoos with dark features and his hair pulled back into a bun. Harrison was exactly how Oliver had described him. A girl in a bright pink and orange fleece pullover popped out of the back seat. Her rust-colored hair spilled over her back, and she wore the most approachable smile. She must be Lila .
“Hi,” Mattie said cheerfully before she, Lila, Harrison, and Giles went into a flurry of greetings and introductions.
Oliver hung back, scanning the campsite before his eyes fell to mine. He shot me a questioning smile, like he still wasn’t sure where we stood. I scrambled up and approached the group.
“This is my sister, Frankie,” Mattie said, saving me from having to introduce myself.
“Hi,” I greeted.
“Hi,” Lila beamed. “We’ve heard so much?—”
“It’s great to meet you,” Harrison interrupted, pulling his girlfriend in close to him.
Lila glanced from him back to me. “Oh, right, yes. So nice to meet you.”
“Hey,” Oliver said, lifting an eyebrow at me.
“Hi.” I gave an awkward wave like I hadn’t just woken up in his bed this morning with our naked limbs entangled.
He smirked and gave a small eye roll while shaking his head. He clapped his hands and moved back to his car, popping open the trunk and handing Harrison a bin of supplies.
I thought about approaching him, saying something to break this building tension. But when Lila started asking Mattie and me a million different questions, I chose to instead use my conversation with her as a welcome distraction.
Breathing in the crisp spring air while gazing at the mountains in the distance might have been the most peaceful moment I’d ever experienced. I’d never given meditation a try, but this had to be what all the hype was about.
I sat in my camping chair that Oliver had brought for me and nestled into the fleece blanket I’d brought from my bedroom. The guys were cooking food on the charcoal grills, laughing at something Oliver had said.
The girls were gathered around the firepit. We were waiting until dark to actually start a bonfire. Lila was sharing a story about the last time she’d camped. She’d been convinced she saw a bear and had crept out of her tent in the morning armed with bear spray only to have nearly blinded her best friend, Charlie, who had left her tent to use the bathroom.
Lila was warm and friendly and I already loved being around her even though I’d just met her.
“Hey, Mattie? Would you mind getting the buns and the condiments out of the cooler?” Giles called.
“On it,” my sister shouted back before getting up and walking over to the car.
“This is so great,” Lila said, scootching her camping chair so that it was closer to mine. “We don’t get out this far into the mountains as much as I’d like.”
“It’s beautiful out here,” I murmured. “I grew up in Florida, and we don’t have views like these.”
“Is that where you live now or…” Lila asked.
“Well, I was in Atlanta until…” I let out a sigh, hating to admit that I was currently unemployed. “I got laid off recently. I hadn’t gotten to spend much time with my sister lately so I just up and left, and I’ve been here ever since. The whole thing was kind of spontaneous. So not typically what I would do, but I needed to get out of there.”
Lila winced. “I’m sorry to hear that. It’s hard losing a job.”
“Even harder finding one,” I joked.
Her eyes narrowed as if she were calculating something. “What did you say you do? ”
“I am—well, was—in marketing. Used to be the Director of Marketing.”
Lila gasped. “Wait, really? This is, like, fate or something. Any chance you’d be interested in joining a women-owned start-up?”
I furrowed my brows. “What?”
She laughed. “Oh shoot, let me explain. I own a women’s meetup network with my best friend. It’s called ConnectHer. We’re popular in Denver and a few other markets, and we’re growing fast. We’re hoping to be completely national by the end of the year. We’re looking for a Chief Marketing Officer right now. Obviously, you’d have to interview with Charlie and me, but I have a good feeling about this. We’ve been struggling to find a good fit.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s totally unexpected.”
“Now, the pay isn’t amazing, of course. We try to be as competitive as we can, but we’re still a start-up after all. But the benefits are great, and I promise it’s the most fun you’ll ever have at work. We have a Denver office but are totally open to remote employees.”
I had been pulling teeth to find decent jobs to apply to and here Lila was, presenting me with this opportunity. It was completely unexpected.
But a start-up? I had never gone that direction because I didn’t like the uncertainty of it all. An older company might not be exciting or have innovative ideas, but they were usually secure. And they paid more. It would look better on a résumé.
I sucked in a breath through my nose. “Look, that sounds amazing,” I said. “But I’m actually really close to the final stages of another opportunity. It’s kind of like my dream job.”
Lila’s smile fell a little. “That’s amazing. I totally understand. It was just a thought. I mean, of course you’re close to landing something, you seem great. ”
Lila hardly knew me, but she seemed like the type of person to instantly see the best in everyone.
“I’m sorry,” I offered. “Maybe if it doesn’t work out.”
“Totally,” she said. “I can give you my number and you can let me know if anything changes.”
“I will,” I said, smiling at her offer.
“Oliver!” A loud feminine squeal caused us both to spin around in our chairs to see the source of the noise.
“Elise!” Oliver called back, before a short blonde with two braids launched herself at him.
Immediate heat boiled in my chest and rose to my face as the two started talking excitedly. I couldn’t help but notice that she kept placing a hand on his chest.
Oliver appeared to introduce her to the others at the grill. I strained my ears and thought I heard the word “coworker.”
“Wonder who that is,” Lila said.
I met her eyes only to find her looking at me knowingly.
Shit. I probably had jealously written all over my face.
“Oh, uh. I’m not sure.” I forced my tone into a nonchalant one, even though I was feeling all sorts of uncomfortable and insecure.
The girl wore hiking pants and a vest. She looked like she’d been raised in the wilderness, camping or whatever. And on top of that, she was stunning. I could see her perfectly symmetrical features all the way from over here.
“Hey!” Mattie called to us. “Come over here and meet Elise.” My sister had a wicked smile on her face as if she knew every single thought that was flying around in my head.
I reluctantly got up and walked over to them with Lila. Crap. For someone that usually had my shit together, I felt like an absolute mess.
“Hey.” I waved awkwardly just as Oliver tossed his head back with laughter at something Elise said. Had I ever made him laugh like that? The envious thought planted like a weed in my mind.
“Nice to meet you all,” Elise said. “Ollie and I used to work at the same outdoor equipment store.”
“How is the old place?” Oliver asked.
“I left a few weeks after you did. Jay asked if I would come on as a tour guide for the new whitewater rafting company he just joined.”
My heart squeezed as Oliver’s eyes widened. “He asked me too. I’m headed there in a couple of weeks.”
Elise shoved his chest. “No way! I’m so pumped now!”
I threaded my hands together as my gaze rose, immediately catching my sister’s questioning eyes. I gave her my best “mind your own business” glare before returning my attention to Oliver’s apparently favorite person in the world. The way his gaze lit up when he looked at her made me want to throw up. Everything that I was not, she surely was. She looked like she knew how to set up a tent. She also looked like she could competently get down the hill on a snowboard without incident.
Oliver’s eyes finally landed on mine, and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. He looked confused. I didn’t blame him. We hadn’t left things in the best place this morning, and now here I was, looking about as comfortable as a deer in the headlights of a massive truck.
“Do you all want to head out on a sunset hike after you eat?” Elise asked.
There were some grumblings of agreements among the group.
Oliver walked over to me before leaning down to whisper in my ear, “Hey, everything okay?”
“Everything’s great,” I forced out. “I set up my own tent. ”
The lines between his brows formed as he looked at the tent, then back to me. “I think you mean Giles set up your tent. But listen, about that?—”
“Oliver, let me show you my new setup!” We both looked up to see Elise waving him over to her site.
Oliver sighed and stepped away from me. “I’ll be right back.”
“No rush,” I said, as my insides turned.
I watched as he walked over to the girl that was a way better fit for him in every imaginable way.