12. Mason
12
MASON
T he last two weeks turned out to be far busier than Lana or I anticipated. The good news was that I talked to her every day. The bad news was that I hadn’t been able to snag more than ten minutes with her since the weekend of the photoshoot.
I’d always been patient, but not being able to see her was driving me out of my mind. Bodhi had made more than one comment about the mood I’d apparently been in, but I didn’t have a good reason except I’ve never craved a woman like this before.
Body.
Mind.
And soul.
“You ready?” Bodhi asks as he shoves his duffle bag into the back of the truck.
“Yeah.” I do the same and barely stop myself from slamming my door as I climb into the passenger seat.
I’d roped Bodhi into going with me to retrieve Ellison’s cows because the trip would suck doing it alone, and I’d never transported cows before.
Or any other farm animals.
Normally, I wouldn’t care, but it’d been too long since I’d seen Lana—touched her, felt her skin on mine—and everyone around me was paying the price.
In this case, Bodhi got the brunt of my bad mood, but I just couldn’t help it.
“You gonna be like this the whole time?”
“Like what?” I snap, instantly regretting my tone when my brother’s jaw tics. “Shit, I’m sorry. I just… I care about Lana and I know it’s been a week and I’m acting crazy but she’s…”
“Special,” he supplies, and I swallow hard, thankful I didn’t have to utter the one out loud. Not because I don’t believe it but I don’t want to jinx it. It’s one thing to say it via text, but putting that into the universe is something else entirely.
“I’ve never done this, and it feels like I have so much to learn—about her and relationships, how to be a partner. And she’s got kids, which is awesome, but I know our age difference is going to be a thing and I’m just?—”
“In love with her already?” he says, his lips twitching even as he keeps his eyes on the road.
“Fuck.” I scrub my hands down my face. “Yeah.”
His shoulders shake with silent laughter, and it makes me chuckle too because the whole thing is kind of ridiculous for a normal person.
But Bodhi and I are anything but normal.
We’ve never had the luxury of getting to know someone because time was almost never on our side. People had constantly been ripped from our lives.
Some more violently than others.
I rub at my sternum, a physical reminder that I’m still here.
“You need to tell her,” Bodhi says, his eyes flicking to me and then back to the road.
“We had a mini trauma dump after the photoshoot.” Bodhi snorts and I sigh as I let my head fall back against the headrest because he’s right—the highlight reel of my life barely scratches the surface of what’s lurking underneath. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I say honestly as I let my head loll to the side.
“I know.”
Bodhi Maxwell and I don’t fight.
We never have.
Except when I hadn’t wanted to go to college and get my associate’s degree. We had fought about that. We didn’t have the money and we had a shit ton of problems we were trying to claw our way out of.
But he’d insisted and I’d applied for all the scholarships I could to lessen the burden. He’d been so damn proud, and even now, I still want to make him proud.
We’ve been to hell and back and each have the scars to prove it.
We’ve always been stronger together than we ever were apart, and that’s something that has embedded itself on our respective DNA.
“What if I’m not good enough to be what she needs?”
“First of all, shut your damn mouth talking like that,” he says, the fierceness in his tone making my lips curve up on one side. “And second, I raised you better than that.”
“I know,” I say, putting my hands up in surrender. “You’re right. It’s just a lot and not in the way that I’m worried about our ages or kids. It’s the other stuff that I know will come up.”
“You’ll have to tell her,” he says, his Adam’s apple bobbing, “if she’s it for you.”
I nod, looking at the window and remembering my eighteenth birthday, the rightness of what I’d done that day still resonating with me over five years later.
Bodhi hadn’t tried to talk me out of it.
And I still believe it’s the best decision I could have made, but a lot of people didn’t share my stance, and it had been a tough realization that it would make or break so many things.
“Yeah, but I gotta make sure you like her.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What?” I sit up and turn my body to look at him. “Of course I do. I can’t date, let alone marry a woman who doesn’t think you’re fucking awesome.”
He snorts. “Yes, you can. It’s called being an adult and making your own damn decisions.”
“Yeah, well, my damn decision is that if she doesn’t like my brother, she’s out.”
“Your happiness is the most important thing.”
“And I wouldn’t be here to enjoy that happiness if it wasn’t for you, so drop it.”
Bodhi’s lips press into a thin line, neither of us speaking for a long time because it wasn’t a euphemism.
I would have died if Bodhi hadn’t been there—hadn’t stepped in, hadn’t risked his own life—for me.
“We’re gonna have to figure out how to do this. So when we get back…maybe,”—he swallows like the idea physically pains him—“maybe you can have her over to the house for dinner? Or we can meet her out.”
“Thank you.”
“I just…” He sighs. “I don’t want to hold you back.” His hands grip the steering wheel, the leather squeaking in response. “I don’t know if that’ll ever be me, Mase, and I don’t want you to think we gotta be two old men sitting on a porch, still a couple of bachelors. Seeing you doin’ all this,”—he waves his hand around—“I dunno, I just never thought beyond it.”
My chest squeezes at the thought because in my mind we’d keep doing everything together.
Together until the end.
“Dude—”
“We’ll figure it out, all right? I’ll meet your girl, give you my blessing, and we’ll go from there.”
“Okay,” I say, trying to brush away how unsettled his response has made me. “We’ll be easy.”
“Easy and free.”