Chapter 5
Iwasn’t at all prepared for the cute yelp she releases when she tumbles into the hole in the ground with a heavy, almost brutal thud. Scaring her probably wasn’t the best idea, but it’s done now and there’s no taking it back.
What erupts from my mouth is a sound I haven’t made in a very long time.
It travels from the base of my throat, out of my mouth, and into the cold night air and as I peek over the edge of the eight-by-eight-foot-deep pit, I couldn’t help but howl further at how tiny she looks in the centre of it all.
“You asshole!!” Heather snaps up to me, scrambling to her feet and brushing off the dry dirt from her jeans and knitted pink top. “Get me out of here!!” she calls up to me with a furious scowl on her face.
“H-holy… sh-shit.” I continue laughing, trying desperately to get the words from my mouth but failing at every turn. “The look on your face.” I point, leaning forward onto my knees and one palm.
“Fuck you! It’s not funny, Ricky!” she calls up to me, and even though she’s pissed, I know by the tone of her voice she’s trying hard not to laugh along with me. “Get me out of here! Right now!”
After a few moments of hysterics, my laughter begins to subside, but the smile on my face remains plastered in place. As best as I can, I steady myself at the edge of the open grave and reach down to her. “Do you think you need to change your clothes, Princess?”
“No,” Heather grunts, wrapping her hands around my wrist. “But you might.” She grins widely pressing a single foot against the dirt wall and with one, forceful yank, I come crashing down into the grave alongside her, and it’s only when my body meets the hard earth beneath me, do I realise just how painful falling into an eight-foot hole really is.
The air is instantly sucked from my lungs, and I wheeze in reaction to the aching feeling of being winded.
Heather, however, is standing above me now, clutching her stomach in humour.
“Not so nice is—ah!” She falls beside me with a huff, after I sweep both feet from underneath her, and when she hits the dirt floor beside me, we both stare at each other before barking with fits of laughter.
The sounds of it merging together beautifully. Just like I knew they would.
“You’re a lot stronger than you look.” I chuckle through my words. “I told you I’d tag you back for making fun of my name.” I wink, reaching towards her to wipe my thumb over a small patch of dirt on the apple of her soft cheek.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”
I watch as her once-white cheeks flush a beautiful shade of pink, highlighting the little freckles scattered across the bridge her nose—each of them perfectly shaped—and as I yet again stare at that damned beauty mark at the corner of her mouth, all I can think about is how I so desperately want to kiss her.
To taste her.
To devour every part of her delicious-looking mouth to the point of where I’m not sure where I end, and she begins. Because being undeniably consumed by Heather Delaney is the only thing I’ve ever wanted, until I knew I couldn’t have it.
We continue to stare at each other for a while in silence. Nothing but the crickets and night owls singing in the darkness of the night, our eyes briefly flicking over each other’s features—me permitting hers to memory in case something happens, and I never see her again.
I want to scream from the rooftops about how watching her is the most enjoyable experience of my life.
How just the sound of her breathing can evoke a happiness in my mind I never thought I would regain again.
And just how much those dusky pink soft lips that adorn her face are torturing me in silence.
They’re begging to be kissed.
Marked.
Owned.
And I want to.
God, I want to.
Curse my entire being if I’m lying. But the sad part is…
I can’t. I can’t kiss her or hold her the way I want to.
I can’t tell her all the things I’m thinking in fear of scaring her off and losing this ethereal creature for good.
So, rather than torture myself any longer than I need to, I turn my attention to the star-blanketed sky and focus on them, watching as the pink hue from the moon lights it up.
I’ve been living a lie. Life had no meaning before she stepped into my path, and I felt my heart beat for the first time in what felt like eternity.
Love had eluded me for so long, I honestly believed—in my heart of hearts—that the four-letter word most people steer clear of, was something the great writers from the past invented as a way to torture us.
My life was doomed to be one of solitude, where I walked alone, tortured by the images of others having it but knowing it would never be mine.
Until her.
Until this very moment and every single one before it.
Because as the soft hint of Heather’s sweet jasmine and white oleander perfume swirls through the air, I realise how deep the love I feel for her runs.
“Ricky?” she murmurs sweetly.
Even hearing the tone in which she says my name drives me wild.
My heart is now beating faster and slower at the same time, which I know is impossible, but that’s exactly what Heather manages to inflict upon me.
I’d never considered myself a weak man; never allowing myself to show emotion for the fear of being broken in the end.
But I would take an infinite amount of pain for one chance to hear her say my name as sweetly as she did just now.
“Hmm?” I hum, focusing on the brightest star in the sky I can find, and watching as it blinks knowingly at me.
The one I always see.
The one that taunts me.
“Who was the person Patrick hurt?”
“Someone very close to me.”
“Oh,” she whispers.
Silence.
“What’s it like? I’ve never had someone I know die before,” she asks softly.
I knew where this was going when she asked me about Patrick.
I turn my head slightly and raise my eyebrow at her, because she killed her father back there.
Heather releases a small giggle before speaking once more.
“Okay, well, nobody I cared about anyway.”
I offer her a brief nod, not sure if I have the strength to talk about her the way I want to.
Whether I should tell Heather everything now and allow her to feel everything I do.
I mean, who knows if she would. After a few moments of staring at the stars scattered through the black pit of the night sky, I take a deep breath… and begin.
“It’s like… the entire world cracks around you and you’re the only one left standing to watch everything fall.
The feeling is almost like you’re in a hole you can’t get out of because it’s raining, and the dirt walls surrounding you are turning to mud, and no matter how hard you try…
you just can’t seem to claw your way out of this pit you’re now struggling in.
The more you fight, the harder it gets. And the harder it gets, the more tired you become, and decide you don’t want to fight anymore.
You want the darkness you feel to swallow you up so you can be with them because it’s better than living in a world without them.
Then… after you’ve experienced every ounce of pain you can, people start to move on without you.
They deal with it better than you ever could, and then all of a sudden it’s as though you’re the only one who remembers what it felt like when they were there.
You’re the only person who recalls what their laugh sounded like.
Everyone forgets. Everyone stops caring.
Everyone except you. Because you’re stuck in limbo with the constant agony of their loss and no way to bring them back. ”
I turn to face her then, wanting to see the look on her face to torture myself with the image of pity, and when I do, she’s not facing me, and the expression on her face isn’t one of pity…
it’s sadness. Almost as though she feels what I feel deep within her gut.
But that’s impossible. Nobody, not even her, could feel what I feel.
Tree leaves swish and swirl as a gentle breeze moves seductively through them, and all I do is wait… for something from her.
“Was it… just him?” Heather finally questions, speedily wiping the tear she shed from her temple, hoping I somehow don’t notice.
“No,” I reply bluntly, because it’s true.
It wasn’t just Patrick who hurt the person I loved.
“There were four of them.” I need to keep my breathing as calm as possible, to stop myself from overreacting in the moment and telling her everything else.
This is the furthest I’ve ever gotten with Heather, and I don’t want to ruin it with my story of woe.
So again, I keep everything locked away inside.
For now.
Heather must sense my pain, because her knuckles softly glide against the skin on the back of my hand before she repositions hers so she’s able to entwine our fingers together once more.
I have nothing to say, and that’s telling considering I’m always talking.
So, all I can do is close my eyes and bask in the warmth of her touch, both of us now staring up into the glittering night sky.
A life like mine is somewhat of a lonely one, nothing to do but relive the same mundane day over and over again without so much as a changeup.
So, when I found Heather—saw her that day—when the sun was perched high in the bright blue sky, and observed how absolutely stunning and awe-inspiring she was… I knew I had to have her.
Her beauty and aura was unmatched by anyone.
None before her, and definitely nobody after.
She was unlike any woman my eyes had ever laid eyes on before, and the moment my heart saw her…
it knew. It knew she was the one. It knew she was a once in a lifetime chance at happiness, and still does… to this day… and always will.
Her soft voice interrupts my thoughts. “Do you know where they are?”
It’s only then that I lull my head to the side and face her. Our faces are so close it physically aches not to kiss her. “Who?”
Without missing a beat she looks at me. “The ones who hurt the person you loved.”
“I do.”
“Good,” she says, gently removing her hand from mine and slowly scrambling to her feet. I watch as she brushes any remaining lose dirt from her jeans and knitted sweater before she eventually holds out her hand down to me. “Come on.” She nods upwards. “Let’s go, Fall Out Boy.”
I snort at her new little insult, that’s actually kind of funny, and slap my hand into hers, allowing her to help me to my feet… even though I don’t need it. Wiping my hands clean, I ask, “I’m sorry, where are we going exactly?”
“To kill them,” she states so matter-of-factly it catches me off guard for a second.
“What?”
“Yeah.” She grins brightly, a hint of mischievousness about her, saying it as though this is an everyday occurrence for her.
“I got some gasoline and a box of matches in the trunk of my car.” She tosses her thumb over her shoulder, then widens her eyes for added effect.
“So gimme a boost, Linkin’ Park, and let’s go. ”
“Are you ever going to stop calling me by very specific band names?” I ask, frowning playfully as I look down at her.
“Will you ever stop wearing black?”
“No.” I screw my face up because I can’t imagine myself in any other colour.
“Then… no.” Heather playfully taps my chest, her body so close to mine I can feel the heat radiating from her. “C’mon, the quicker we get out of here, the quicker those assholes die, so give me a boost.”
I must be crazy, because all I can manage to say is, “Alright, but we’ll need to take my bike.”
“Why?” She frowns. “What’s wrong with my car?”
I search her face, trying hard to think of some kind of excuse as to the real reason why I don’t want to get in her car.
“Well?” she presses further, and now I’m fully on the spot.
“Nothing. It’s just, uh—”
Just say it, Ricky.
“A little too… pink for someone like me to be in.” That’ll do. “I have an image to uphold, y’know?”
She thinks for a second then lifts one shoulder, accepting my explanation, and lifts her foot up. “Whatever, just get me out of here. We have places to go, people to murder.”
I smile as I cup both my hands and thread my fingers together, crouching slightly to move my cupped hands beneath her sneaker and hoist her up, watching as she delicately and expertly climbs out of the open grave.
“Just so you know, I’m going to get you back for scaring me earlier.” She chuckles as she turns around to look down at me still standing in the hole.
“You did,” I point out. “By pulling me into that dank hole with you.”
“That was only because you started laughing.” I expect her to leave me down here while she runs off.
Not that it would make much difference, because I would chase her to the ends of the Earth if I had to.
But instead, she turns around and reaches down to me, helping to pull me out the best she can.
“True payback” —she grunts as she helps me out— “will come when you least expect it.”
“I don’t doubt that, Princess.” I grin broadly as I stand to my full height next to her and brush the palms of my hands together, removing the fresh dirt there.
“And you’re going to cry like a little baby.”
I chuckle then, throwing my arm around her shoulders as we begin to walk back the way we came. “As you wish.”