Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
TRISTAN
Igave Lily what she wanted and brought her back home. She is happier but has still been too quiet for my liking. I can see her anger starting to mount, and soon she’ll have a beautiful explosion of emotions.
We have been going back and forth all morning. She tries to avoid me, but I never let her get far. If she goes to the gym, then I go. If she’s hungry, so am I.
It’s not only her; it’s Killian too. I know he’s up to something. I went and tracked his ass. He’s at a swanky hotel that he would never stay in unless he had a hit across the street he was going to take out. It’s all stacking up inside of me.
“Can you not?” she asks when I walk into her bedroom and she quickly turns off her gaming system. My eyes linger on it. I’m a dumb fuck.
“Can I not do what?”
“Barge into my fucking room! I’m a girl. I need privacy.”
“Watch your mouth,” I warn her. Not that it ever helps, but I’m pissed too. She’s needling me, and I find I want to do it back. It’s better than silence. “You’re sneaking around.”
Lily isn’t as sneaky as she might believe. There have been hints that she is up to something, asking me about going into work and saying that I don’t have a life and other things to be doing. She wants me out of here. That’s not happening.
“I’m an adult. I don’t need to sneak.” What she needs to be is really careful with all her reminders about how grown-up she is.
Oh, believe me, I noticed. When I first met Lily, she was pretty but still young.
It was as if a switch flipped one day, and I came home to find that she was a woman.
My head had already been messed up before that, but that really sent me over.
I started working more and trying to limit my time with her.
I would make scheduled times to see her when I knew it would be safe.
“Then why are you sneaking around with a person in Colorado?”
Lily’s eyes widen before her cheeks flush. It’s not a blush either. She’s pissed. That makes two of us. I’m irritable about all of this. I know and understand that. It doesn’t mean I can do fuck-all about it.
Lily opens and then closes her mouth. My phone starts to go off in my pocket. I pull it out to see it’s Killian. About time. I turn and walk out of her bedroom and back down the hallway toward my office.
“The fuck have you been?” I say through gritted teeth. Everything is starting to spiral, and I can feel the control I do have over Lily and everyone around me slipping through my fingers.
“Oh, you can curse, but I can’t!” Lily shouts, following after me. I ignore it, wanting this information more.
“Who is it? I need a name,” I order. Killian hesitates. The hell is up with him?
“I’m working on it, but I know it’s a friend. A girl.” He adds the girl part quickly.
“Killian, you know I need way more than that.” I want all of it. When it comes to Lily, I want every crumb of information I can get. I inhale it like an addict. I suppose everyone really does have a vice.
“It is a friend, you giant asshole!” Lily shouts, I turn when I get back to my desk and see her in the doorway to my office. Her cheeks are more flushed and her hair wild.
She appears well fucked. It takes all my control to not storm over and fuck her against the wall. I remind myself that she’d hate me if I did that. I could never live with myself if she truly hated me. It would eat me alive.
“Go to your room,” I order, putting an icy edge to it. It’s one that would send most people hurrying away from me.
“No.” Lily is unfazed by this, folding her arms over her chest. My hand tingles to flip her over my desk and spank her bratty ass.
“Is everything okay over there?” Killian asks, amused. When did he start with all the questions? That’s not his norm.
“Here is none of your business. Now tell me why you’re not giving me the information I want.”
“Because I’m still working on it,” he growls back at me, getting pissed. Killian doesn’t care to be ordered around.
It’s why he’s always solo. The government has to wrangle him to get him to work with them. Well, he’s about to get a whole lot more pissed because I’m over the cat-and-mouse game. I need answers, and I know he’s not disclosing all he knows.
“Are you working on it in the Captain’s Crown?” I mention the hotel I know he’s in.
“Listen here, pretty boy, you and I are going to have a real fucking problem if you’re tracking me. I’m warning you, and I am not fucking around. I consider that a threat, and do you know what I do to things that threaten me? I’m pretty sure that you do.”
I take a deep breath. I need to get myself in check.
If I push too hard, Killian could simply take off.
“The girl, she makes me do shit that—” I trail off before I can give him or anyone details about my life.
“Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.” I shake my head and make a quick deal to pull Killian back in.
“Get me what I want, and I’ll tell you how I do it and give you the tech to stop even me. ”
I shouldn’t. It’s extremely confidential, but I’ll break more than laws to keep my Lily close. Even if she wants to murder me. He’s quiet for a beat before he finally responds.
“Fine, but you better knock that shit off. I’ll be in contact.” The call drops. I head back toward the doors to my office that are empty, but she could be outside them listening. She’s not.
I head back toward her room. She left easier than she should have. Normally she would have lingered or barged into my office and called me a few more names.
I pause when I hear her voice softly whispering.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m through the door; it hits the wall with a crack, and the echo rings through her room.
Lily stands frozen, eyes wide, at the foot of her bed, the TV glowing behind her, the controller still clutched in white-knuckled fingers.
Discord fills the screen, a chat window open, someone’s avatar still showing as online.
I don’t lose my temper, but she’s now pushed me over the edge. I know what my anger is; it’s fear. I feel her slipping through my fingers, and she has someone helping her do it. To get away from me.
I cross the room in three strides and rip the whole gaming system from its stand. The screen goes black. The console crashes to the floor, plastic cracking against the wood.
“What the hell?” Her voice rises, sharp and bright. “You can’t just—”
“Can’t I?” My own voice sounds foreign, scraped raw. “I own this room. I own every fucking thing in it, including you.”
“You’re insane.” She steps back, but there’s nowhere to go. The bed blocks her retreat. “You don’t own me. You never did.”
That’s where she is very wrong.
I reach for the controller still in her hand. She jerks away, arm swinging wide, and I lunge. We collide, tumbling backward in a tangle together. My hip hits the duvet. Her elbow digs into my ribs. I grapple for the controller; she holds it above her head like a trophy.
“Give it to me.”
“Make me.”
We roll. She ends up beneath me, pinned, her wrists trapped in one of my hands while the other reaches for the controller she still grips like salvation. I should be her salvation. The thought is fucked up, but right now I don’t give a flying fuck.
Lily breathes fast, making her chest press against mine. Her hair fans across the pillows, gold against white. Her eyes are wide, pupils blown, and her mouth… God, her mouth.
I glance at it.
The little brat licks her lips, a quick dart of pink, and I feel it everywhere. My grip loosens. The controller falls, forgotten. I lean closer, close enough to feel her breath, warm and fast, against my cheek.
This is wrong. This is everything I’ve been punishing myself for wanting.
I yank back like she’s burned me. The bed creaks as I shove off it, stumble to my feet, and put distance between us before I do something we’ll both regret. She stays sprawled where I left her, hair wild, lips parted, confusion and something darker warring in her expression.
I don’t look back. I can’t.
The door slams behind me hard enough to rattle the frame. I stride to my own room, lock the door, and head straight for the closet. The darkness swallows me. My fist hits the wall before I can stop it, drywall giving way with a satisfying crunch. Pain radiates up my knuckles. I hit it again. Again.
Control. I need control. I need—
I don’t know what I need anymore.